A/N: I'm back. Gee, its been awhile, hasn't it. Today I bring you...that's right folks, a Rocky Horror/Les Miz crossover. The characters of Les Miz preforming Rocky in all its voyeuristic splendor. Who will get what part? Who will want to murder/arrest the director (me)? And the question on all of our minds; Who will we get to see in corsets and garters? Stay tuned to find out.
(The various Mizzies are assembled in a large auditorium. They are impatiently waiting for the director to show up. Eventually she does. Kat enters.)
Kat: Hoopla Mizzies!
Enjolras: Hoopla? What language is that?
Kat: Rockyish. I welcome you all to the auditorium which I have added to my basement when my mother was taking naps.
Valjean: May I ask what we're doing here?
Kat: You may.
(Silence.)
Valjean: Well?
Kat: I was waiting for you to ask.
Valjean: Oh...What are we doing here?
Kat: You are all going to preform a version of The Rocky Horror Show.
Gavroche: What the hell is that?
Cosette: Daddy, that boy swore. We must save him.
Kat: This isn't the place to be saving anyone.
Cosette: What do you mean?
Kat: Let's just say that people stand outside theaters protesting this play because its "sinful".
Valjean: If its sinful, than why do people watch it.
Kat: Because its sinful.
Valjean: There are people who enjoy sinning?
Kat: Yes.
(This is confusing many of our Mizzie friends)
Kat: (sighs) When I call your name you answer and I'll give you your role. Javert.
Javert: Here.
Kat: You'll be playing Frank N. Furter. (Eponine bursts out laughing)
Javert: What?
Eponine: Nothing...nothing at all. (Continues to laugh)
Kat: May I continue? (Eponine nods) Good. Cosette?
Cosette: (angelically) Yes?
Kat: You'll be playing Janet Weiss.
Cosette: Is she a good, pure Christian?
Kat:...Um...yes...Marius?(no answer) Marius? (Still no answer. Kat goes to erase his name off of the cast list.)
Laigle: (Falsetto) Here.
Kat: Why are you using a falsetto?
Laigle: I don't know.
Marius: Sorry I'm late. I got into an argument with my shoelace.
Kat: Not going to ask. You'll be playing Brad Majors.
Eponine: No fair! I want to play Janet!
Marius: Do I get to work with Cosette?
Kat: Well...yeah, but you're not the only one.
Marius: What do you mean?
Kat: Nothing. (Clears throat.) Gavroche?
Gavroche: 'Ere.
Kat: You'll be playing Riff Raff.
Gavroche: What do I get to do?
Kat: Lurk and shoot people with lasers.
Gavroche: I can do that!
Kat: I'm sure you can. Eponine.
Eponine: Yes.
Kat: You'll be Magenta.
Eponine: EEW! Riff's being played by my brother! Did you realize that?
Kat: Yes. I did that on purpose.
Eponine: Sicko.
Kat: I love my job. Fantine?
Fantine: Yes?
Kat: You'll be playing Columbia.
Fantine: Please tell me I get to dress modestly. I've had enough of indecency.
Kat: You're all going to hate me. Jean Valjean?
Valjean: Here.
Kat: You'll be playing Dr. Everett Scott.
Valjean: A doctor. That's respectable.
Kat. Yup. Enjolras?
Enjolras: Yes.
Kat: You'll be playing Rocky Horror.
Enjolras: The title character?
Grantaire: Typical.
Kat: You'll enjoy this R, you'll get to see Enjolras wearing next to nothing.
Enjolras: WHAT?
Kat: Oh, nothing. Grantiare?
Grantaire: You know I'm here, you were just talking to me.
Kat: Are you here or not?
Grantaire: Here.
Kat: You'll be playing Eddie. Thenardier?
Thenardier: What?
Kat: You'll be playing the one character who does nothing questionable, the Criminologist.
Thenardier: That's a very big word.
Kat: You'll be okay. The rest of you-
Javert: WAIT! What do you mean "the only character who does nothing questionable"?
Kat: You're an intelligent man. Figure it out. As I was saying, the rest of you are wedding guests and Transylvanians.
Montparnasse: But we're French.
Kat: Big hand for 'Parnasse everyone. He knows his nationality!
A/N: End first chapter. How did you like it? Looking forward to the upcoming madness? Well review and I may update.
