Chapter Five

Several hours later when the neighbors had dispersed so families could spend a last night together, Kid quietly opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. The room was dark, lit only by the pale moonlight from the open window. He could see her lying on the bed facing the wall, unmoving and silent. Kid set his lamp on the dresser slowly, trying to put off the inevitable confrontation as long as he possibly could.

The men had decided to leave for Richmond first thing in the morning to enlist in the Confederate army. To delay might mean missing out on the opportunity to defend their home and their honor, with predictions of the war being over in a matter of weeks. Kid would have liked to have stayed longer with Lou, but his leave-taking would not be any easier a few weeks from now. He was of the opinion that the sooner he left, the sooner he could come home to her, and they could begin their life together anew. He was now dreading the next few hours they would have to endure before he left in the morning.

Expecting a bitter argument or at least a flood of tears, he sat down beside her on the bed and kissed her shoulder. Lou had heard him enter the room but she made no move to acknowledge his presence immediately. She composed herself carefully before she pulled herself to a sitting position. No words passed between them as they stared at each other in the dim yellow light. There was nothing she could say now to persuade him to stay, and nothing he could say that would alleviate the sadness in her breast.

Instead Lou kissed him — the same gentle, tentative kiss they had shared on their first night together. She did not want to think about the war or his imminent departure, only to recapture those precious moments they shared together when they first declared their love for each other. They had been through so much since then and their love had grown only stronger. Lou wanted Kid to know how much she loved him, even if it was the last time she would be able to tell him and to show him how she truly felt. She wanted their last night together to be just like their first.


The horses were saddled at dawn, provisions packed and brief farewells made. Rob did not want to wake the children but Corinne insisted on seeing them off, standing proudly on the porch wrapped in a thick shawl over her nightgown. Isobel and Rob murmured a few words to each other out of her earshot, but then shared only a perfunctory kiss before Rob quickly mounted. Isobel did not even wait to see them leave, she had already disappeared inside the house.

Across the yard, Kid stood with Lou in the cool morning air. The birds had not even begun to sing, the dim light uninviting. They had said little to each other all night, and the words were still difficult to come by. Lou couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. There was such finality to the word which frightened her. Instead she entwined her fingers in Kid's and cleared her throat.

"You've always kept your promises to me," she said with great control. "And I need you to make another promise to me now. After this I'll never ask to swear to anythin' else ever again. But this is important… Promise me you'll come home safely. I don't care how you do it, but I can't let you leave until you promise me you'll be back."

Kid tried to swallow the painful lump in his throat. Lou's clear eyes bore into his intently, with a fervent, heart-breaking stare. Her words echoed through his mind as he contemplated the impossibility of her request. Such a promise was beyond his control, and yet she needed to hear it and believe it before she would part with him. As if it were as simple as making a promise…

Kid frowned slightly, the anguish showing on his face. But Lou still waited for an answer.

"Promise me," she pleaded in a whisper, her eyes growing moist.

Kid nodded slightly and tightened his fingers around her own. "I promise, Lou."

She sighed with relief at the words and leant in to hug him. With her head tucked under his chin, Lou listened to his heartbeat for a long moment. She committed to memory every detail of his embrace — his strong arms around her, the rhythmical pounding of his chest, the earthy smell of his jacket, the coarse material of his shirt against her cheek. Then, before he could pull away from her, she broke the embrace.

Kid opened his mouth to say goodbye but she hastily put a shaking finger to his lips. She could not bear to hear the word spoken. Kid understood without explanation and he kissed her deeply instead. He felt tears prick his eyes but he used all his willpower to prevent them from falling. Breathing heavily, he stepped back from her and pulled himself into the saddle. Rob was waiting for him now, though patiently. Kid took a long last look at Lou before he kicked Katy sharply and rode swiftly out of the yard. Rob had to turn his horse quickly to catch up with him after the abrupt departure.

Lou stood alone in the yard, shivering uncontrollably. She watched them travel quickly down the road until they were swallowed up in the early morning fog. Kid did not look back.