A scanner hovered over Beka as she sat on a bed in front of Trance. "You don't have tell me that none of this necessary because I already know you're thinking it, but Andromeda told me that you didn't eat at all yesterday and your eyes are red. You haven't been sleeping, have you?" Trance asked.
"It's just a bug. It'll go away." Beka's feet didn't touch the ground and she watched them as they dangled back and forth.
"Loss of appetites and insomnia are both symptoms of depression."
"If you're trying to say something, just say it, Trance."
"Alright, I think you're depressed," Trance replied.
"Why would I be depressed?" Beka asked. "We're restoring the Commonwealth and this time it's actually working. Andromeda has a full crew with real officers. Not to mention a parliament with houses on Tarn Vedra and Terazed. We've got everything we ever wanted."
"Is that what you wanted?"
"Hey, the safer it is out there, the easier it is for me to do my job."
"You mean hauling cargo."
"Gee, Trance, you make it sound so glamorous," Beka said.
"Do you plan on doing it forever?" Trance asked.
"I remember a time when you were fine with hauling cargo. Besides, one of these days I'll hit the jackpot."
Trance smiled. "I know you will." She set the scanner down on the table. "I can't find anything physically wrong with you."
"Great." Beka hopped off the bed.
"You know, I love the Maru almost as much as you do. There are good memories there."
Beka's lips turned up in a tiny small. "There are definitely more good ones than bad ones."
The doors to the deck slid open and Rhade appeared.
"Not like here," Beka whispered.
"I just came to tell everyone goodbye," he said, looking awkwardly from Beka to Trance, who rushed up to him and threw her arms around his neck. He chuckled. "I'll never get used to that."
"Well, you'll have to," Trance giggled. "You're only here when we're orbiting Terazed and everybody misses you. At least this time you got to stay a little longer."
Beka crossed her arms and stared at the immaculately polished floor. She could almost see her face in it. The glare hurt her eyes, but it was better than thinking about why Rhade had had to stay longer this time.
"Well, I have a family to take care of, now."
"And you love saying that, don't you?"
"It never gets old. I'll see you next time, Trance."
"Bye, Rhade."
As Trance bounced out of the room, Beka wanted to scream at her to stay. Don't leave me alone with him, she thought. Instead, her eyes remained fixed on her reflection. "Bye," she muttered without emotion.
It was quiet for a minute and she assumed he had left, so she jumped when she looked up and found him inches from her.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," said Rhade.
"It's fine."
Rhade moved a little closer. "About last night… I may have gone a little too far."
"Is that an apology?"
"Would you accept one?'
Beka finally looked at him. "If you meant it."
Rhade was about to respond when Doyle entered the room. "Dylan informs me that you're leaving… again. I've come to escort you to the brig."
Rhade turned and smiled at her. "Isn't that a little harsh?"
"It's the only way to keep you here, isn't it? Unless, of course, some one else pretends to love Beka and hijacks me." She smiled and winked at him. "Harper taught me winking this morning. What do you think?"
"Uh… well done," Rhade replied, unsure of what to say as Doyle blew him a kiss and left.
"Is that what he did?" Beka asked.
"What?"
Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "Pretend… I loved him. I really did."
"You knew Alex for two weeks. No one falls in love in two weeks."
"Men don't, I guess," said Beka.
"He was using you. Love had nothing to do with it. Just learn from it."
"How very Nietzschean of you, Mr. Rhade, but I think I've learned everything I need to know about love."
"What does that mean?" Rhade asked.
"It doesn't exist."
"That's not true. I have a wife and three kids who love me."
"I don't," Beka replied.
"You have-" Rhade began, then stopped. Who did she have? Beka waited for him to continue, begging for an answer.
"Rhade?"
"My wife's waiting for me."
"Rhade, please," she pleaded.
He left the room, with her behind him. "Beka, this discussion is over."
"I'm not following you, damn it. I'm just going to the Maru." She turned a few corridors and was on her ship, going faster than she had since she was on flash. When she went fast enough, she almost felt like she was on it again. She took the quickest route to a little dive on other side of Terazed- the only part that wasn't a clone of Tarn Vedra- the sidled up to the bar to drown herself in shots.
"Didn't think I'd ever see you again," a smooth voice said from behind her. Her eyes sought its owner.
"Alex?"
TBC
