The next time Beka awoke, it was in her own bunk on the Maru. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she could sense something bright beyond her eyelids, like a light shining directly onto them. "Trance?"
"I'm here."
"Do you have a dimmer switch? I'm trying to sleep."
"A what?"
"Never mind."
She opened her eyes and looked around. "My ship… I missed it." She smiled. "How come I'm here?"
"I thought you would be more comfortable here. You were talking in your sleep. The familiar setting seemed to help."
"What was I saying?" Beka asked.
"Nothing I could understand. You sounded scared, though."
Beka sighed and closed her eyes again. "Everything's throbbing."
"Does it hurt?" Trance asked.
"Like going off flash."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
There was a tapping noise. Beka slowly turned her head; even that motion was painful. Rhade was standing in the doorway with a flexi in his hand. "How are you feeling?"
"We covered that," Beka answered.
"Could I talk to you?" Rhade asked. He looked at Trance. She understood.
"I need to go inventory the medical supplies. Will you be alright?" she asked Beka.
"Yeah."
"I'll be back in a half hour."
"Take your time."
Trance left the room as Rhade entered, perching on the edge of the bed. "I have to show you something," he said gravely.
"The last guy who said that to me wound up in jail for the night."
"Good to see you're your old self again."
"Yeah," Beka said half-heartedly. She felt like herself; she felt more like herself than she ever had before. It wasn't a coincidence that she was always thrown into high risk situations or that she'd chosen the same deadly profession as her father. She was just as self-destructive as he was. Neither of them had ever really had anything to stick around for. At least, not anymore, now that Trance was three different people and Harper wanted nothing to do with her. What's a captain without a crew?
Rhade handed her the flexi. "We got a transmission shortly after I found you." He touched the screen and Alex popped onto the screen. "Apparently, he thought he still had you."
"What?"
"Just listen."
He touched the screen again and the image spoke. "Captain Hunt, you have something I want and now, I have something you want. I've got your first officer here. She's taking a hell of a beating, though. I don't know how long she'll last. I'll be in touch."
Beka started shaking. "I don't understand. How can he use me as a bargaining chip if he doesn't have me?"
"He probably sent this from a remote location. Andromeda said the signal was jammed, so she couldn't trace it. Chances are he doesn't even know you're gone and he probably won't until he starts missing his men."
"When will that be?"
"Depends how big his army is."
"Army?"
"I asked around. Turns out Alex is the leader of some kind of antigovernment movement. To him, Commonwealth equals communism and that's bad for business."
"What business?" Beka asked.
"He's a smuggler."
"Part of the family," she sighed.
"He's nothing like you," Rhade answered. "He has no conscience."
"Do Nietzscheans believe in a conscience?"
"I can't speak for all of them, but I believe in right and wrong… you're shaking."
Beka clutched her arms to her body. "I'm just… I can't decide if I'm too cold or too hot."
Rhade studied the bruises on her head and neck. Those were just the ones he could see. "How are your hands?"
"More trouble than they're worth. They're killing me."
Rhade pulled the blanket up around her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "You're still shaking."
"I'm okay."
"What did they do to you, Beka?'
"It's not important."
"Yes, it is."
"Why hasn't Harper come to visit me?"
Rhade realized that she'd changed the subject, but he decided to indulge her. "He was really worried about you, but he feels bad about the things he said. I think he's afraid to face you."
"You're lying to me," Beka replied. "He doesn't care about me." Tears began to form, but she took a deep breath and didn't let them fall. She wouldn't cry in front of Rhade again. "We need to find Alex."
"We're working on it."
"When he finds out I'm gone, he'll just come after us again. Who knows what kind of resources he has."
"Beka," he said, stroking her cheek with his hand, "just get better. We'll take care of it."
"It's funny. You're here and Harper's not."
"I saw what they were going to do to you."
"And it mattered?" she asked.
"Not this conversation again."
Beka stared at him, refusing to let him off the hook.
"I realized why you fell for Alex."
"Why?" Beka asked.
"You're alone. You've been that way all your life. No Nietzschean would ever treat his child the way you were treated. Trance left, then Harper, then every man you've ever-"
"Stop it," Beka sobbed, tears flowing freely.
Rhade's eyes widened. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to explain."
"You're right about everything, but I don't need to hear it, okay? Just stop."
Rhade gathered her into his arms and rocked her back and forth like a child, whispering soft words into her hair. "I'll find a way to get him."
"I know a way," Beka said, clutching at his chest as he held her. "I have to go back.
TBC
