September 13th, 2009 -Saturday
Matt holds his breath as the clock chimes midnight and he picks up her notebook to look at it.
Sept. 12th - Mr. Tanner is killed by Damon at the one else dies that day, that I know of.
Tyler and Jeremy had a fight over me. Stefan got a cut on his hand that healed within seconds. Only Elena noticed.
Sept. 29th - I am bitten again by Damon after he escapes the cellar, then after he killed my . . 'Stoner' friends he finds out I'm still alive. Then I am kidnapped by Damon
Sept. 30th - Damon feeds me his blood, when I wake I am drunk of blood and eventually bourbon, he feeds on me through out the day. . and I drink his blood. What was I thinking? I was too trusting. After telling him about myself he killed me, turning me into a vampire.
After reading it, unable to go any farther then that Matt puts it down and covers his face with his hands trying to catch his breathe. How could she know? How is that possible? This isn't possible!
Is she delirious? No. . No she isn't. She just knew somehow. But how? Seers don't exist. They just don't.
With he sigh he gets up, grabs his pillow from his room and sets her alarm. Laying down on the floor beside her bed he just hopes that he imagined it and that what he read was her trying to make up stories again. She's done that before, not normally as a timeline or anything but she's made shit up before. That's why it can be so hard to trust her.
When morning comes Vicki is up before the alarm goes off. Grabbing her notebook and a pair of clothes she goes to get ready for the day. Getting breakfast ready she feels productive but she knows that she's not over the battle to get over her dependence on 'the bad things' so to speak. Then there was the dreams, dreams of goddesses, ponds that held images and the barking of dogs. But, her mind keeps going to the symbol she kept seeing through it all with a circle in the center and a bunch of arrows pointing out in several directions. What was that symbol and what does it mean to her?
Fighting the urge to turn to drugs will be hard too deal with, which means that she will need to learn other coping methods. Unfortunately she will also have to go back to school on Monday, something that even without Mr. Tanner a large part of her dreads it.
Going back to her room to wake up Matt she didn't expect him to jump, he is generally not so jumpy.
"Matty?" She asks him concerned as a frown forms on her face. "What's wrong?"
He looks at his sister, his eyes were bloodshot from all of the nightmares, the dreams of his sister turning into a vampire. . . of her being bitten by whomever this 'Damon' was. . finding out that his sister, his wild and albeit somewhat wild sister is died. He looks at her carefully, looking more herself then ever before. Watching her facial expression he asks her hesitantly, but he has to know. "Did you know that Mr. Tanner was going to be murdered?"
Matt watches as she takes a deep breathe, as if she's trying not to breathe, as if a part of her is panicking. She was frozen in place, afraid as her little brother watched her with a frown. . one of fear. . . one of - one of something akin to concern. "You did, didn't you?" Matt says softly after watching fear flash through her features. "You knew that he was going to be murdered."
His last words were a statement, not a question. Vicki knows that. She bites her lip as he watches her closely as she asks him gently, the way she always had when she is actually afraid. "Do you really want to know Matty? You probably won't believe me again. ."
Closing his eyes Matt nods as he tries to hold himself together. He already knows, but if there is the chance that its bullshit and shes just . . god, he hopes that its not real. "Tell me Vickie, you have to tell me the truth."
She holds back tears as she whispers to him. "Yes, it's the truth. Even if you don't believe me again. I swear it's the truth Matty."
Putting his fist into his mouth he holds back a scream as tears threaten to fall at the desperation in his sisters words, damn it, damn it, damn it, screams in his mind. "You have to stay away from them Vicki." He says stiffly after he gains control over his emotions again.
"and you need to stay away from Elena." Vicki says as she instinctively flinches, just like he remembers her doing when she expects yelling.
However, this time Matt couldn't. Not when he watched her say it like, as if she was begging him. "Why? What does Elena have to do with anything Vicki, she's practically dating the Salvatore already" he whispers to her in protest, but also he isn't sure he's right this time.
"She's the center of it all Matty. She is why Stefan is here, then she will use him and end up with the other brother. . Damon. But, so many people die because of her Matt, her own brother, more then once. Me, at least three times, god, I don't even know how many times I had died. But I do know that no one actually got a happy ending, no one except for her."
Matt closes his eyes and puts his face in his hands as he asks. "Is all of this in your notebook?"
Biting her lip she nods as a blush forms on her face in embarrassment for trying to keep the chain of events. How stupid does he think she is? Does he think that she's insane? Then she remembers that his face is in his hands and whispers the answer to him quietly. "Yes."
He nods and stands up slowly, feeling a bit dazed from the situation. Seeing his sister standing as if she's ready for him to verbally attack her makes him cringe and he lets out a sad sigh. Slowly he walks over to her, as if he thinks that he will startle her and again, slowly he wraps her in a hug where for the first time in such a long time he hears her break down into broken tears.
Tears of pain, of joy and of sadness.
She felt so many mixed emotions, joy that he wasn't shunning her or calling her a liar, pain for the life he will hopefully never know, but one that she has nightmares about and sadness, sadness for not feeling like she was strong enough the first time around to protect herself. . and to protect him.
But, at that moment Matt also vowed to protect his sister. That means that he will need to learn with her, to help her with this and to get her through it. This, this was a turning point. The thing is, time doesn't like change.
September 15th, 2009 - Monday
Bracing herself for the day Vicki stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom feeling completely unmotivated when it comes to be presentable today. For one, she doesn't have anyone to impress. For two, she's only going through this so that she can get them through this shit and she will be damned if either of them die this time unless they ask and they call the god damned grim reaper themselves. Internally she is seething, seething because she is going to have to be in the same area as Stefan, that she may have to see Damon. She doesn't want to be around her kidnapper/murderer or well, the other murder of her. . although, that also excludes Elena. But, she could go forever without seeing that bitch again.
"You coming?" She hears Matty shout from the door.
Taking a deep breath she answers him back "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.
On the way to the school they began making small talk, yesterday was emotional taxing for both of them. Matt was worried, so worried, but he couldn't show it to anyone but his sister. His sister, Vicki was a wreck. . but she was healing - he hopes that she's beginning to heal now. Silently he was thankful for the vervain that arrived on Saturday afternoon. The vervain that she made him slip into his pocket, enough to prevent compulsion, but not large enough to be easily found. He watched her crush the vervain and put it into simple things, everyday things. Like their household cleaners, dishsoap, laundry detergent . Then there's how she used some to turn into her makeup, mixed with a homemade recipe or how the liquid stuff she got is mixed into her nail polish, just a few drops.
To be honest, he thought that she might have made them broke at first. It was too much of the item or so it seemed. But, if a vampire tried to open their front door. .well, they would be sizzling. Then there's the fact that apparently she needs to learn more about chaos, chaos magic to be precise because of a circler thing with a bunch of arrows going around. So, she has been researching like crazy and she hates researching.
When they arrived at school, they stood together and walked in side by side. "I don't know Matt, there's nothing wrong with different plants."
"Vicki, we're not going to buy every herb available to man." Matt says with a laugh of amusement, one of the few times that everyone saw him actually laughing at school without being so serious.
Stefan, he felt suspicious. . he wasn't sure why. It was almost like seeing double for him, why would that be?
Vicki scoffs and rolls her eyes as they walk to his locker, she already knows all this crap anyways. "Uh, we probably should. Did you know that their is a plant that's actually called the Toothache plant?"
Matt snorts and holds back a belly laugh. "Well, were not going to be dentists Vicki."
She rolls her eyes at her brother. "Duh. But if the world ever becomes apocalyptical and we need to know what plants can be used safely you will thank me."
"It must of been a pretty good weekend for you two." Tyler says with a frown as he stands between them confused. "You two have never gotten on this well."
The siblings shrug, at the same time, in the same moment. Everyone glances at each other unsure, except for Tyler and Jeremy who frown at them.
"Vicki." Jeremy shouts as he walks over with a lopsided smile, she frowns at him. She knows that he is was using her as well, just as in a way she had been using him.
Giving him a small forced smile Vicki nods, Tyler notices that look. Its the same look she gave him when she said that they were done. . offically, no bullshit, just done. The smile was sad, tired. In a way he gets it, while his dad may seem like a stand up guy to most, to him he isn't. Perhaps he was taking advantage of her need to just be or maybe she was just there. He loves her in a way, but not in the way that she needs to be loved, she has been abandoned too many times by people that are supposed to love her, to care for her. So, seeing the look on her face and then the one on the annoying Gilbert boys, he almost wonders if the Gilbert is going to react badly when she tells him.
"Jeremy." She greets him, a barely there smile on her face as she does so.
He grins at her widely, Jeremy likes her attention, he craves it really. "Do you wanna get outta here?" He asks her happily, ignoring everyone that is curious enough to watch.
Matt rolls his eyes and glance's to his sister beside him as she lets out a sigh, a pained sigh that only he and Tyler seemed to notice. "No, thank you Jeremy. But I can't not anymore."
The young Gilbert in question snorts and shakes his head, a warry smile on his face. "Come on Vicki, you know that you can never manage actually stop. You always go back. Is it because of Tyler or your brother."
"We're right here." Tyler and Matt say with a rolls of their eyes, as Jeremy ignores them. Both of them notice Vicki's uncomfortable smile though and the way her confidence in her abilities go down.
"Shut up Gilbert." Matt says sharply, drawing the attention of the boy in question who frowns at him. Vicki's brother has never yelled at him for any of this before. "She can do it. She has been going clean and she will stay clean because she wants to. My sister is more then capable of beating this and you better not be talking down to her, she deserves more respect then that."
Jeremy rolls his eyes this time and faces Matt with a mocking smile, "Respect? I treat her with more respect then Tyler does."
"Actually," Vicki adds tiredly, having had enough of Jeremy's attitude - why did she even like him again? "After we broke up he has actually been extremely supportive of me getting help."
Maybe it had been seeing her fully detoxing, without cheating through it or maybe it was something that Matt said to him that got him to understand that she needs this. While Tyler may not have been the best boyfriend to her he does seem like he will make a good friend. A supportive one.
"And, you didn't tell me?" Jeremy asks, looking gutted. . as if she Had to tell him. Because to him, she should have, he loves her. . why wouldn't she tell him?
Vicki shrugs her shoulders and first bell finally rings, ignoring Jeremy she walks to class on her own and distances herself from her old friends. The friends that always pushed her to go back to her old bad habits. The habits that she has no choice but to kick if she wants to survive this time around.
Aside from how hard it was to turn away from her old friends she could admit to herself that mentally, even though there's pain she does feel much better. More stable. During her lunch hour she walks to the school's main office to talk to the lady at the desk. Peaking her head in the lady gives her a kind smile. "Vicki, How are you dear?"
"I'm okay- I think. I uh, I was actually wondering about. . about online school or. ."
The woman behind the desk shakes her head sadly. "I'm really sorry Vicky dear, our high school doesn't offer a way to get your diploma without actually being here at this time."
"Thank you." Vicki mutters as she turns around and heads to the lunch room, accidently bumping into Stefan on her way.
"Sorry." she mutters as she backs away from him, something that he couldn't help but notice.
"Stefan." He says, holding his hand out for her to take with a polite smile on his face. The kind of smile that she has learned to no longer trust from any Salvatore.
Seeing her hesitation he puts his hand down. "Sorry for bumping into you." He says as she gives him a wide berth and goes around him.
Shaking his head Stefan choses to ignore that action of hers and go about his day, after all, she isn't important. She is not Elena afterall.
After getting home with Matt they're sitting down on the couch when Tyler comes over and sits down on the recliner. "So, wanna go to the Grill?"
Matt and Vicki glance at each other and she shrugs. "Sure." Matt says as he gets up to go.
"Okay." Vicki says with a sigh, getting to her feet all of a sudden it was like she was there, at the Grill.
This thing was, it felt like drowning in water, she couldn't hear anything, it was like an out of body experience, as if it was someone else's perspective. But she could see them at the Grill, her beside Matt and Tyler at one of the tables, Jeremy picking at fight with Tyler, Matt and Her. Then, her heading to the bathroom. She see's herself in the mirror as she washes her hands, her head down as he's suddenly behind her.
Vicki was screaming, that was all that Matt and Tyler knew as she went to stand and then crumpling to the ground within three seconds. Her breathing was heavy and labored and her body was shaking, almost as if she was detoxing again. Then she begins crying and whimpering as Matt holds her to him tightly, glancing at Tyler to see his confusion and genuine worry on his face.
"What was that Vicki?" Matt asks her gently as he holds his sister protectively, rocking her frightened body back and fourth.
"I-I . . " She begin with a stutter, swallowing thickly she does her best to continue. "He killed me again Matty, I just know he did. . We went, I was at the Grill and then. ."
Matt glances at Tyler and they both share a frown, but the thing was. . they have odd memories of going to the Grill with her. Then of her going missing.
"What?" Tyler says as another memory passes, one he knows as never happened. "It was Matt and I that found your body. . W-What is going on?"
Vicki bursts into tears as Matt does his best to stifle his own. Then they hear her whisper, tears falling freely from her face and her voice cracking as she speaks so softly, "It was the ritual Matty. It was the ritual, I just know it."
"What ritual Vicki?" Matt asks softly, he needs to be calm right now.
Tyler sucks in a breath as he speaks shakily "What ritual Vik?"
