Mario and Luigi: Stupidstar Saga Part Four: Beanbean Castle
Luigi: Finally we are past that mountain!
They walk along a hilly path and see several pointy creatures (they're Sharpeas)
Luigi: I'm going to take a guess and say we don't jump on those-AAAAHHHHH!
Mario picks Luigi up and throws him face-first at one of the Sharpeas.
Luigi: (in mid-air) How? How are we related?
Luigi hits the Sharpea. The Sharpea gets agitated because Luigi is stuck on his back. (The pain knocked Luigi out) The Sharpea than flips upside down and than scrapes Luigi off in the dirt and than runs off. Luigi starts to wake up.
Mario: It's-a you-a in-a pain-a!
Mario shoves a mushroom in Luigi's mouth.
Luigi: What are you doing! Trying to choke-Ack!
Unfortunately it was a poison mushroom. Luigi fell unconscious. Mario shrugs, picks him up and starts dragging him along the ground, using his body to bat aside Sharpeas and weird worm-like Sworms. Mario eventually carries Luigi far enough for him to wake up.
Luigi: You know Mario sometimes I think you're trying to kill me.
Mario: Okeydokey!
Luigi: That doesn't exactly reassure me.
They continue walking until they see strange raccoon-like Tanoombas and odd flying turtles called Paratroopeas.
Luigi: Yes! Finally some easy enemies! We'll crush these-Ack!
A Paratroopea rams into Luigi knocking him out instantly.
Mario: It's-a healing time!
Mario gives Luigi a 1-up Mushroom.
Luigi: Hey thanks Mar-Ack!
A Tanoomba touches Luigi with it's tail. Luigi faints. Mario shrugs and than continues using Luigi as a battering ram. Just before they reach Beanbean Castle Town Luigi wakes up.
Luigi: Ok that does it! We're going to ignore every enemy and just go into the town!
They go into the town and encounter no more enemies. When they get there the town is in ruins.
Luigi: Is it always like this or are they doing construction?
A house crumbles to dust.
Luigi: Maybe it's termites.
A Beanbean guy walks over to them.
BB Guy: This is all your fault!
Luigi: How?
BB Guy: Stop interrogating me, you big bully!
He runs off. Another one comes over.
BB Guy: Oh don't mind Jerry. He's been kind of loopy ever since Cackletta and Fawful attacked the town and headed up toward the castle.
Luigi: I guess we better head over to the castle than.
Mario and Luigi head up to the-
Luigi: Hey! Why do you always put Mario's name first!
Narrator: Uh it's alphabetical order.
Luigi: Oh, okay. Hey wait a minute!
Narrator: Oh just get back to the story!
Luigi: Fine.
Mario and Luigi head up to the castle. In front of it they see two Beanbean Guards.
BB Guard 1: So to Pokershroom you flip this card over and-
BB Guard 2: You destroyed my Shrace!
Both: Ha Ha Ha!
Luigi: What are you doing?
BB Guard 1: AAAHHH! I mean you can't pass!
BB Guard 2: The castle is ours to guard as we please!
Luigi: That's great but we need to see the Queen so we can get this ridiculous quest over with.
BB Guard 1: Queen? There is no Queen here. Excuse me for a second.
The guards turn and start talking to each other.
BB Guard 1: Did you tell him about the Queen?
BB Guard 2: No! I don't know who did!
Luigi: Uh guys…
BB Guards: What! Oh.
They look where Luigi is pointing and see a big sign with flashing lights saying "Queen Bean's Castle!"
Luigi: So can we go in?
BB Guard 1: No! You need to show us something from the royal family!
Luigi: Fine! Mario show them Peasley's Rose!
Mario: (crunch, crunch) Yummy!
Luigi: MARIO! You didn't eat Peasley's Rose did you?
Mario gulps and swallows Peasley's Rose.
BB Guard 2: Um you still can't pass.
Luigi: Alright, fine but-Oh my gosh! Is that an Ultra Mushroom in the bushes!
BB Guards: What?
They both run into the bushes.
Luigi: Finally! Come on Mario.
They enter the castle, leaving the guards behind.
BB Guard 1: Hey! Where'd they go?
BB Guard 2: Where'd who go?
BB Guard 1: Well, um, I don't really remember.
BB Guard 2: So, uh what do you want to do?
BB Guard 1: How about Pokershroom?
BB Guard 2: What's that?
BB Guard 1: Here, let me show you…
Meanwhile in the castle…
Luigi: Whoa! This place is huge!
Mario: (muttering) Peach's castle is bigger.
Luigi: What did you say?
Mario: It's-a me-a Mario!
Luigi: Oh, all right. For a second there I thought you said an intelligible sentence.
Mario: (Low muttering) I'm going to make you pay for that.
Luigi: You know that if I didn't know better I'd be worried that my brother was plotting against me. But he's not smart enough to do that.
Mario: (Really low muttering) You're going to regret that.
Soon the brothers run into more guards, guarding (Wow! Who saw that coming?) a door.
BB guard 3: Um do you want to pass?
Luigi: Yes!
BB guard 4: Well too bad!
Both: HA HA HA!
Luigi: There is something seriously wrong with the people in this place.
Mario and Luigi turn around and go through the only open door. Soon they see two more guards.
Luigi: Geez! Peach's doesn't have this many guards and she's been attacked and kidnapped so many times it is funny! You guys are really paranoid!
BB guard 5: You know if you had more guards she probably wouldn't be kidnapped so often.
BB guard 6: Shh! Don't try and use logic on them! Their primitive brains can't handle it!
Luigi: I'm right here.
BB guard 6: Uh, so you are! I was just joking! Please don't smash me!
Luigi: Look I just want to know where Queen Bean is.
BB guard 5: Well actually she's right behind the door we're guarding.
Luigi: Great! Will you let us pass?
BB guard 6: Well first you have to get us a few things.
Luigi: (Suspiciously) What things?
BB guard 5: Well first I want a bunny, which you can get by going outside and talking to…
3 hours later…
Mario Bros. (Snore, snore)
BB guard 5: And that's all we want! Hey are you even listening?
Luigi: (Snapping awake) What! No way are getting you any of that stuff! (Especially because I didn't hear half of it) We'll find some other way in!
Luigi storms off dragging a still sleeping Mario with him.
BB guard 5: Aww man! Now I'll never get my bunny!
He breaks down crying. His friend pats him on the back.
BB guard 6: There, there. Your birthday is coming up.
BB guard 5: (Sniffles) Yeah, you're right. I need to pull myself together.
BB guard 6: That's right! Now let's play Pokershroom with the guys!
Meanwhile in another part of the castle…
Luigi: What the? Are those guys playing Pokershroom?
He tries to get closer for a better look and trips over a sleeping Beanbean person. Mario wakes up.
Mario: Fire Flower!
Luigi: Shh! Don't wake him up! I don't want another crazy Beanbean person on my hands!
Lady Lima: Oh good, you're here!
Luigi: Shh! Don't wake him-
Lady Lima: What! How dare you shush a Queen's person thingy!
Luigi: Look Lady, all I want-
Lady Lima: Lady Lima! Call me by my full name you impertinent fool!
Luigi: Fine! Look Lady Lima, brat, whiner, and arrogant Queen's person thingy, I just want to see the Queen!
Lady Lima: Why how dare you! I have never been insulted so much in my entire life! Especially not by such a lowly peasant!
Luigi: It takes one to know one.
Lady Lima: That does it! Take this!
She takes out a large remote control with a button it, which she presses. The floor drops out from under the plumbers.
Luigi: Uh oh.
Mario: Mamamia!
They fall into the castle basement.
Luigi: Ouch.
Lady Lima: Eeyah-I mean Ha! Now in order to redeem yourself and meet the Queen you must fix the castle's plumbing!
Luigi: Why?
Lady Lima: Well because your plumbers and I figured you should get some plumbing done in your adventure.
Luigi: And if we choose to not fix the plumbing?
Lady Lima: Than you will never get out of the basement! Ha! Ha! Bye.
Lady Lima leaves them in the basement.
Luigi: Great! Just great! I don't think this "adventure" is ever going to end!
Mario and Luigi trudge along. They then see Spinies and Super Flies!
Spiny: Hey! Get out of here!
Super Fly: Don't make me hop on you!
Luigi: How to get rid of them, how to get rid of them? Hmmm. Aha! Hey guys they're playing Pokershroom up there!
Enemies: Awesome!
Somehow they all disappear from the basement.
Luigi: Well that was simple.
They walk around the basement until they see some loose plugs.
Luigi: Let me guess, pull out the plugs? No, that wouldn't work…
Mario smashes them all in with his hammer.
Luigi: I was just about to say that!
They continue smashing plugs until there is only two left.
Luigi:
Alright! The last one-huh?
A spiny runs in.
Spiny: I have no hands! They won't let me play-whoops! AAHH!
It runs into the plug and breaks it.
Luigi: Great! Now we'll never get out of here! Unless…
Spiny: Hey! Stop looking at me like that! AAAHH! Let go! Ack!
Luigi picks up the Spiny and shoves it into the hole. A cage opens up. Out come some Beanbean people and…Lady Lima?
Lady Lima: Oh good! It's the Mario Bros. and they let us out!
Luigi: How'd you get in there so fast?
Lady Lima: Why, we've been stuck here ever since Cackletta and Fawful attacked the town.
Luigi: But you just told us to fix the plumbing!
Lady Lima: Ha! Ha! Ha! Now why would I do that? The plumbing is our defense protecting our most valuable item!
Luigi: But if you're down here the only way to get out would be to fix the plumbing!
Lady Lima: Your point is?
Luigi: That is the stupidest idea ever.
Lady Lima: Well you didn't fix the plumbing right?
Luigi: Well see we kind of…did.
Lady Lima: Oh no! Quick, we must stop her!
Luigi; Who? Why?
Meanwhile in another room in the castle where a strange shining star resides…
Lady Lima (The fake one) Suddenly becomes Cackletta! Then Fawful runs in.
Fawful: Quick O mighty mistress! If we do not make our escape of speediness soon the jam of the brothers will fall upon us!
Cackletta: Eeyah ha ha! I have absolutely no idea what you said but that's normal! Soon the Beanstar will be in my grasp!
A force field covering the star flickers and goes out.
Cackletta: Excellent! Fawful, get the star!
Fawful: Of course I will get the star! The star whose mightiness which is only countered by the brilliant mustard of your bread!
Cackletta: Just get it.
Fawful attempts to get the star, but at that moment the force field flickers on.
Fawful: Ouchy! Owie! Pain!
The force field flickers off.
Cackletta: What's going on?
Back in the basement…
Luigi: Stay in there!
Spiny: No way! It's cold and uncomfortable!
Lady Lima: uh, Luigi…
Luigi knocks out the Spiny and wedges him so deeply into the pipe there's no way he could ever get out on his own.
Lady Lima: Great! Now Cackletta will get the Beanstar!
Luigi: So? Why does she want a vegetable?
Lady Lima: It's not a vegetable! It grants wishes!
Luigi: So? She probably wants a new chair.
Lady Lima: No! She wants to rule the world!
Luigi: So why did she take Peach's voice?
Lady Lima: She needs it so she can awaken the Beanstar! Now get up there!
Lady Lima pushes the Bros. up the stairs.
At the Beanstar...
Fawful: I think the field of forces is off.
Cackletta: Fine! I'll take the Beanstar this time!
Cackletta takes the Beanstar and gets in her rocket chair just as the Mario Bros. show up.
Luigi: Can we please not fight?
Mario: Let's-a go!
Cackletta: Eeyah ha ha! You won't be fighting me or Fawful! Say hi to the Queen!
Cackletta and Fawful take off. A huge muscular green person bursts through the walls.
Luigi: Queen Bean?
Lady Lima: Oh no! Cackletta made her eat a Belly Blech Worm!
Luigi: I don't even want to know.
Queen Bean: GROOO! RAR! Scary noises!
Mario jumps on her only to be hurt by her pointy crown.
Mario: Owie!
Luigi: HA! For once I'm not being hurt-AAHH! Mario no!
Mario launches Luigi at Queen Bean. She punches him in midair and he is sent flying into a wall.
Luigi: Ow.
In the basement…
Spiny: Almost free…Aw I give up.
The Border Patrol Bros. show up and spot the Spiny.
Bro 1: Hey have you seen a red or green guy around here?
Spiny: Yes! I'll tell you where they went if you get me out of here!
Bro 2: Okay!
They pull him out. A huge jet of water smacks into the Bros. sending them through the ceilings of both floors!
Luigi: (Seeing them pass) Hey, was that the Border-Ack!
Luigi gets hit in the head by a chunk of plaster knocking him out. The force field comes on, shocking and knocking Queen Bean out.
Lady Lima: Oh no! What will we do?
Mario: Okeydokey!
Lady Lima: What's that? You and your brother will cure her?
Luigi: (Waking up) What? Oh no! Mario you didn't volunteer us for something again did you?
Lady Lima: Yes he did! Now go to Chucklehuck woods by Chateau De Chucklehuck and get some Chuckola Cola to heal her. Take this Beanbean Brooch.
Mario attempts to take it but Luigi grabs it first.
Luigi: Uh uh! This time I'm taking it.
As they leave the castle a Beanbean Person runs after them.
BB Person: Wait! I have something for Mario!
They stop and turn around to see he's holding something shiny.
Luigi: What is that?
BB Person: It's a badge! Mario gets it because he's special! And your not!
Luigi: Wow you're nice.
BB Person: Thank you!
Luigi: I was being sarcastic.
BB Person: That's nice.
Luigi: …I hate this place.
BB Person: The badge makes Mario look cool!
Mario: I'm the winner!
Luigi: I think it makes him look like a dork.
Mario throws the badge at Luigi, knocking him out (Again) and then carries him off to the Chateau.
