Here's a little one shot for Thanksgiving. I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a terrific holiday season for Christmas and New Year. I couldn't resist a short bit of fun with my favorite characters. Gregg
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth was sitting down to the dinner table with a grimace. His mood just couldn't get into a proper frame of mind for this Thanksgiving. How had this happened? It was an apocalyptic nightmare! Instead of a wonderful feast of smoked turkey and all the trimmings, he was sitting down to a meal of Tofu Turkey! Bones swore up and down that he had enthusiastically approved of the menu, but there was no way he had been present and coherent during any such discussion. His taste buds, still finishing the recovery from the lava infused chili that she had served him, Hodgins, and Billy a few months before, were finally ready to have a holiday feast, and now the little buds get Tofu!
Now a bigger question than that was rearing its' ugly head. How was he to supposed offer up Grace for Tofu Turkey? Just the thought made him want to hurl all over the place. Maybe he could finesse the right mood and tone by thinking of the really great pastrami on rye that his little Angel Christine had made him for a nice snack during the game? That couldn't hurt. He hadn't thought that they had any pastrami in the house, but apparently they did. Maybe he could choke down a few bites of Bones' signature dish and then have an after dinner snack of another pastrami on rye.
It didn't help, though, that Hodgins had face timed him a little bit ago bragging about being healthy enough to have some Prime Rib with all the appropriate trimmings for his feast. Hodgins hadn't known about some apparent agreement between him and Bones about trading main dish choices every year, so he would cut the conspiracy nut some slack this time. But he had to make some noise over this somehow.
"Bones, when did we have this discussion about trading off years for the main dish on Thanksgiving?" he asked, trying to be patient, and not come across as a total jackass.
"The day that you had your unfortunate reaction to the chili," Bones told him.
"There is no way I was in my right mind that day as I was having a reaction to that liquid lava you served that would make the inferno seem like a light summer breeze on a pleasure cruise," he told her. "I think I deserve a do over on the conversation."
"I am willing to have another conversation after today is complete and we have approximately two years in which to make a decision on the issue as it will be my turn to choose the main dish at that time," she told him, placing a plate of Tofu Turkey in front of him, along with the other dishes that she knew he enjoyed.
Booth knew he was screwed. Bones would have two years to work her magic and he would be caving like he usually did when it came to arguing a point regarding healthy foods, just like he had regarding organic food. He sighed deeply.
"Well, at least I was able to enjoy a really good pastrami sandwich," he said out loud. "Where did you get that anyway? It almost tasted as good as the pastrami at Katz's Deli in New York."
"It wasn't Pastrami, Dad," Christine chimed in. "It was Vegan Pastrami from Minnesota. Mom ordered it so we could try it."
Booth felt his stomach lurch. He gave Bones a rather jaundiced look. "I ate Vegan Pastrami?" he asked. His whole Thanksgiving Day feasting had just gone down the drain. He could feel his taste buds beginning to rebel once more.
"Yes," Bones told him, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes as she confirmed what Christine had served him. "Now you may eat all of your dinner, and if you do there is apple pie from the Diner for dessert, as well as some pumpkin pie that Angela sent over."
Booth looked at his plate. He loved the stuffing and gravy, the mashed potatoes, and a heap of gravy on those, as well as the green bean casserole like his grandmother used to make. Then he looked at the rather large piece of Tofu Turkey on the plate and wanted to cry. He had to choke down that wretched tofu or it was no dessert. Damn it! Bones had actually gotten him some pie from the Diner! He couldn't pass that up. And Angela made a scrumptious pumpkin pie every year and he loved going to town on that!
For the next hour Booth worked away on the plate of food, interspersing large bites of the stuffing, mashed potatoes, and casserole with miniscule bites of the Tofu Turkey. It was wretched stuff! He kept his thoughts to himself, though, on the subject as he could see having a rather lonely evening if Bones and the kids thought Daddy was being a horse's ass. The kids, he noticed, scarfed the Tofu down like it was pure comfort food. How on Earth did he have kids who loved being vegetarian? His boy even insisted on veggie burgers when they watched some great sports in the Man Cave! At least Hank didn't mind when Booth had his traditional hot dogs and snack trays loaded with summer sausage and cheese chunks instead of the vegetarian route.
"I'm impressed," Bones said with an amused smile. "You actually ate a full helping of Tofu Turkey."
"It was either that of not have any pie for dessert," Booth replied, trying to keep his tone nice. He had to admit that all the other stuff for dinner had been fantastic, so he couldn't complain too much. He was a carnivore, though, so he had to offer some form of protest at the lack of meat on Thanksgiving. "This blackmail side of you is very unbecoming, Bones," he commented as he watched her dish a large piece of apple pie and another large one of Pumpkin pie onto a dessert plate, setting it before him. "Just like it was unbecoming when you blackmailed me into letting you work in the field on the Cleo Eller case."
Bones chuckled. "But it is effective," she reminded him.
"And that's what makes it's so unbecoming," Booth remonstrated. "You have an absolutely brilliant mind. You shouldn't have to resort to blackmail."
"You're merely arguing due to the fact that you were unable to make a complete swine of yourself today," Bones remarked, enjoying the banter.
"It's pig of myself, Bones, and I am a carnivore, after all," he reminded her.
"I stand corrected," Bones accepted his correction of the idiom graciously as always. She'd always loved that he would correct her without making her feel somehow slighted or ignorant. "And seeing that you are a carnivore, I have arranged for approximately two-thirds of the remaining Prime Rib that Hodgins was served to be delivered here tomorrow for your own personal consumption over the next few days."
"You're the best, Bones!" Booth said enthusiastically. Now this was the kind of treatment he deserved! Hodgins could suck a lemon when it came to this stuff.
"And until the Prime Rib arrives tomorrow I will allow you to have all the Vegan Pastrami you can eat," she continued, curious to see what kind of reaction she would get.
"I'll make you another sandwich, Dad," Christine said happily. She'd been thrilled when he had enjoyed the earlier sandwich. Perhaps she could even convince him that a Vegan diet would be beneficial to his health.
"That will be great," Booth said, though he had to choke it out. He wanted real pastrami, damn it! But at least Hodgins would be supplying some seriously good meat, though he was sure that right at that moment Hodgins was pitching a fit over having to turn over two-thirds of his snacking material to him. After having some more tattoos courtesy of Billy in the aftermath of the chili episode, and the subsequent removal of said hideous tattoos, Hodgins was likely not in the most thankful of moods at the moment. Booth had been spared any tattoos but had had to sit through a viewing of all the pictures that Billy had taken during his convalescence with Caroline. Billy had given a running commentary of the Hell he'd lived through. Needless to say, Booth had been rather nauseous afterward.
That was no longer Booth's concern, though. It was a thing of the past. What was important was the lack of meat on Thanksgiving Day itself. It had been touch and go for a bit, but he'd survived. Now he to make sure that his little Angel never figured out that the very idea of Vegan Pastrami, despite having had it earlier, made him want to hurl. There was only one thing he could do.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Bones," he said, giving his family a smile.
A/N: Simple, but fun. I tied in the story Bones Brings the Heat with this one a little so that we get to see what happened to Booth and Hodgins once Billy had recovered from the chili incident. I hope you all enjoyed this one and had a very Happy Thanksgiving. Gregg.
