Mario and Luigi Stupidstar Saga Part Six: Woohoo Hooniversity

Mario and Luigi come to a crash landing in front of the castle. They're old friends, the guards spot them.

BB Guard 1: Who are these guys?

BB Guard 2: They are really rude, interrupting the championship match of Pokershroom.

Luigi gets up and brushes himself off.

Luigi: Championship? I only see you two.

BB Guard 1: We have split personalities.

Luigi: …Whatever.

Lady Lima runs out of the castle.

Lady Lima: Oh good you're here! Please follow me to the Queen!

Luigi: Lady-

Lady Lima: Please no talking!

She leads them to where they fought Queen Bean. On the way Lady Lima strikes up a one sided conversation

Lady Lima: Since you've been gone we've kept Queen Bean inside the force field in case she wakes up. She hasn't though.

Luigi: Lady Lima I-

Lady Lima: Please don't interrupt!

Luigi: But you finished talking!

Lady Lima: How dare you talk back to me! Oh good we're here!

Lady Lima hits a switch turning off the force field.

Luigi: Lady Lima we didn't get the soda!

Lady Lima: Oh that's okay; Queen Bean doesn't like it that much anyways.

Luigi: …? No! The soda required to heal her! The soda that you sent us on a really long quest for!

Lady Lima: Oh that soda! That's okay we don't need it.

Luigi: You mean you sent us for it for no reason!

Lady Lima: Oh no! I just wanted to boss people around.

Luigi: …So how do you cure her?

Lady Lima: Poke her stomach.

Luigi: I hate you.

Mario: Whee!

Mario jumps on Queen Bean shooting out a black worm and a strange light filled the area. Soon Queen Bean's true form was revealed.

Luigi: It looks like all her muscles got transferred into fat.

Queen Bean: HA, HA, HA! I'm me again! Thank you Mario Bros.!

Luigi: Uh, yeah.

Suddenly a Beanbean person ran in.

BB Person: Prince Peasley's out front and he wants the Mario Bros.!

So Mario and Luigi meet with Prince Peasley.

Peasley: Aha! It is those scalawags that knocked me down the mountain! You almost broke my shine! Prepare for a duel!

He pulls out a sword but Lady Lima stops him from skewering Luigi.

Lady Lima: Don't fight! I need you guys to go to Woohoo Hooniversity because Cackletta is there!

Luigi: If it means not getting stabbed okay!

Peasley: I am not working with these guys! I am going to go have a temper tantrum!

Lady Lima: Oh no you don't! Your mother is going to have a talk with you!

She grabs him by the ear and starts pulling him away.

Peasley: Ow! Stop it! You big bully! I don't like you anymore!

Luigi: Right.

They pull out the map they got way back in Stardust fields (Does anybody remember that?) and head off to the Woohoo Hooniversity. However when they get there some more guards are blocking the way.

Luigi: Ugh! Is there like an unlimited supply of you guys?

Woohoo Hooniversity Guard 1: I think there is a machine deep in the castle that shoots one of us out every week or so.

Luigi: You got to be kidding me.

WH Guard 2: So what do want?

Luigi: To leave.

WH Guard 3: Okay!

Luigi: But I can't, so could you please let us in?

WH Guard 1: You have to say please first!

Luigi: …I DID!

WH Guard 2: Liar.

Luigi: I hate you guys.

WH Guard 3: We'll let you in if you play Pokershroom with us!

Luigi: Is that the only thing on your minds?

WH Guard 1: Yes.

Luigi: Well forget this. I'm going back to the castle and have Prince Peasley do this.

Suddenly Mario grabbed Luigi and barreled through the guards, making a beeline for the Woohoo Hooniversity. The guards start running after them shouting clever insults.

WH Guard 2: Jerk!

WH Guard 3: Stupidhead!

Or not. Soon Mario and Luigi make it to the Woohoo Hooniversity. They run inside and barricade the doors. The guards bounce off the door.

Luigi: Phew! I don't think they can get in now.

He turns to Mario.

Luigi: I just want to know one thing. Why did you do that you psycho?

Mario: Crikey!

Luigi: What the? When have you ever said that?

Narrator: He said it in Super Mario Sunshine, when you got him to run into walls enough times.

Luigi: But he's Italian and Crikey is Australian.

Narrator: Look just deal with it.

Luigi: Wait! Can you please explain to me why I'm stuck doing this idiotic adventure with my brother!

Narrator: Hey don't look at me. I don't control anything. You'd have to talk to the author and right now I think he's busy coming up with new ways to torture you.

Luigi: What?

Narrator: Uh nothing, just keep going.

Luigi: I hate this.

Mario and Luigi couldn't take another step before…

Luigi: What?

I said before…

Luigi: Why aren't you finishing your sentences?

Narrator: Ugh! Look you heard a noise!

Luigi: I did?

Narrator: Just work with me okay?

Luigi: Why do you talk so much this time?

Narrator: What? I've always been talking, I'm the narrator.

Luigi: No I mean to me.

Narrator: Why?

Luigi: Because… well you are getting on my nerves.

Narrator: I'm sorry but Lord Drash said if I didn't involve myself more I'd get fired.

Luigi: Well, you involved yourself a lot, so please just do what you normally do.

Narrator: All right.

Any ways Mario and Luigi heard a noise.

Luigi: I still don't…wait. I do hear something.

Mario and Luigi jumped out of the way of a doorway as a bunch of Woohoo Hooniversity students came barreling around a corner…and crashed right into the door.

WH Students: Ow! Owie! What the? Why is the door closed?

They try to open the door; only in their stupidity the WH Guards locked it too! Now no one can get in or out!

Luigi: What idiot would make a door where it's possible to have both the inside and outside lockable?

WH Student: That would be me. Are you calling me, Bob, an idiot?

Luigi: Yes.

Bob: Okay.

Luigi: Why were you guys running away?

The other students (George, Fred, Carl, Liz, Sarah, Carol and the others, who's parents didn't name them because their parents are lazy bums that deserve to…

Luigi: You can stop now.

Narrator: Fine.

George: It was horrible! Just horrible!

Luigi: What was?

Liz: Our teachers, our teachers…gave us a lot of homework!

All the students break down crying.

Fred: Don't forget Cackletta turned them into monsters.

Carl: But that's not nearly as bad as the homework!

Luigi: What kind of homework?

Sarah: We have to laugh for a minute every day!

Luigi: You guys are just sad.

Suddenly a whole bunch of professors turned monster came screaming in.

Carol: Come on guys! Let's take them out!

The students entered battle with their professors. In the fighting Luigi saw a door that said "This way to Cackletta" Luigi shrugged and Mario began to open the door…suddenly a student was thrown into a wall knocking down a block that had a sign on it that said "To destroy please use sunlight".

Luigi: What? Sunlight?

The student got up.

Student: Oh yeah there is a sun room and a unbelievably complex set of mirrors that eventually will shine all the way over here. But first you have to set them up. Head in that direction.

He pointed to another door.

Luigi: Fine! Fine! I knew it was too easy! We didn't go on our usual long quest! Oh well, let's go Mario.

Mario: Okeydokey!

They trudge along. Fortunately there are no monsters to fight because of the big battle. Eventually they reach the sun room. In it several statues, red and blue ones, sat. Luigi saw a sign.

Luigi: Okay it says to open the sun door,

He looks at a large door.

Luigi: To open the sun door use the statues to-NO!

Mario: Whee!

Mario launches a statue at the sun door and breaks it open. A sunbeam comes through.

Luigi: Well I guess that works to. Now all we need to do is turn the mirrors.

Meanwhile, with Fawful and Cackletta…

Cackletta: Eeyah ha ha! Soon the Beanstar will be awakened! Fawful, how you doing on the Peach-bots?

She turns around and sees Fawful is working on something that doesn't look like Peach.

Fawful: Peach-bot? Oh no! Fawful has made great mistake! Soon the world will crumble and great Cackletta will rule it but Fawful will be eaten by cannibalistic muffins!

Cackletta: What are you talking about? What are those?

Fawful: I have made Fawful-bots!

Cackletta: …Why?

Fawful: I look good as a robot.

Cackletta: Die!

Cackletta blasts him with lightning.

Fawful: OWWW! I am feeling great pain but Cackletta is greater!

Cackletta: I think that is annoying.

Fawful: Sorry!

Back to Mario and Luigi…

Mario and Luigi have continued moving the mirrors around to reflect sunlight. They are on their last one. They enter a room and see…

Luigi: Oh no! Not one of those laser faces again!

Mario: Whee!

Luigi: Okay this time you take the barrel,

He hands Mario a barrel that was in the room.

Luigi: And reflect the laser. I will stand over by this disturbing statue.

Mario: Okeydokey!

Luigi: This should be good.

Mario stands on the footpad. The face shoots out a laser which bounces off the barrel, hits the statue, which explodes, sending Luigi on top of control panel, which electrocutes him.

Luigi: Ow.

Mario: Crikey!

A door opens. Mario drags Luigi into the next room. Mario sees a switch. He uses Luigi's head to hit it.

Luigi: OWWW! You are horr-What the!

A crane picks Luigi up and throws him in a barrel. Mario walks over to the barrel.

Luigi: Could you please let me out?

Mario: Okeydokey!

Mario pushes Luigi's barrel which goes rolling out to the hallway.

Luigi: AAAAAHH!

Mario: Let's-a go!

Mario follows into the hallway to see Luigi's barrel hit the last mirror, which focused the beam of light onto the block. It exploded knocking all the monsters and students out. Luigi crawls out of the barrel.

Luigi: Not cool.

Mario: Willy Wonka.

Luigi: Not going to even try and understand.

The two brothers enter the room where Cackletta is… Inside the see…Fawful-bots! And Fawful and Cackletta!

Cackletta: Oh shoot! Peach, I mean Fawful-bots activate! I hope this works…

The Fawful-bots turn on.

Fawful-bots: Eeyah ha ha! Eeyah ha ha! Eeyah ha ha! Eeyah ha ha!

Cackletta: Great.

The Beanstar wakes up. And blows through the floor!

Cackletta: Grr. Well I guess it's time we fight! Ee-AAAHHHH!

A large chunk of ceiling falls on Cackletta. Through it comes…Prince Peasley!
Fawful: Don't worry mistress; I will suck up your essence!

Cackletta: What…No…

Fawful sucks her up with his headgear.

Fawful: And now to… run like a little bunny!

He flies through the hole in the ceiling.

Luigi: Thanks Prince but now-

Prince Peasley: I will destroy you two! Yaahh!

He tackles Mario and Luigi and they fall through the hole in the floor. They land in the basement; where Popple and Rookie were just about to steal the Beanstar!

Rookie: Luigi!

Luigi: Rookie!

Popple: Red!

Mario: Kill!

Popple: AAAHHH!

Fawful-bot: Eeyah ha ha! Eeyah ha ha! Eeyah ha ha!

Everyone: Uh oh.

They all jump on the furious Beanstar as it flies into the sky.

Mario: Whee!

He falls off!

Prince Peasley: This better not affect my shine!

He falls off!

Popple: I stole my own wallet!

He falls off!

Luigi: What?

He falls off!

Rookie: I know who I am! I am … A used car salesman from California!

He falls off! The Beanstar then breaks into four pieces and scatters over Beanbean Kingdom!