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Secrets
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"Has anybody heard anything?" George asked his mother over dinner two weeks later.
"No." she sighed deeply, sitting down across from George. "Harry tried to contact her parents, but they swore she wasn't there."
"Did he believe her?"
"No, but he watched the house for hours and she never showed up. She must have gone somewhere else." Mr. Weasley added.
"How's Fred?" Ginny asked.
George looked over to where she was sitting beside Neville, who was rubbing her hand consolingly.
In the six weeks since Hermione had left, Fred hadn't left the flat except to tell the family what had happened. Since then he had secluded himself, complete with charms to keep everyone out, downing bottle after bottle of fire whiskey.
No one had heard from Hermione. Her boss had been at Mr. Weasley's office first thing the morning after the wedding, armed with Hermione's letter of recognition that had been waiting for him on his desk. It was the last contact anyone had from her.
"He still won't talk to anyone." George replied. Not even visits from Oliver, Lee, Angelina, or Katie could rouse him from his isolation. He refused to talk to anyone.
"It's not like Fred to just give up this way. If there's something he wants, he goes after it completely. And we've all seen how much he loves Hermione," Percy said from the far end of the table, ignoring Ron's dirty look, "why won't he at least try to find her?"
"Maybe he thinks she doesn't want to be found." Neville said.
"Well whatever happened," Harry said, "it must have been bad. Hermione never would have left without a good reason."
"Think they had a fight after the wedding?" George asked.
"Yeah, they seemed fine at the reception. When they left early, I thought they wanted to go home for some alone time." Ginny said.
This earned yet another scowl from Ron.
"Well I'd say the odds of finding Hermione are pretty slim. So unless we pull Fred out of his drunken stupor, we may never know." George surmised.
…………………
"Hermione, honey, you have to tell him." Mrs. Granger told her daughter at dinner the day after the Weasley's family discussion. Once a trip to the doctor had confirmed Hermione's suspicions she had immediately relocated to her family's summer house on the coast. There was no way anyone would find out about her baby there.
Hermione shook her head stubbornly. "No. We've been through this before Mum. If I thought Fred wanted to get back together, I'd be there in a heartbeat. But that's just not the case."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I know Fred." she responded simply. "And we agreed to end the marriage together. I don't want him to feel like he has to be with me because of the baby. It's not fair to anybody. "
"And it's fair to keep something like this from him?" her father interjected.
"I'll tell him." she insisted.
"When?" her parents asked simultaneously.
"When enough time has passed that we've both been able to move on."
"You seriously think you'll be able to move on when after you have this baby? In a few months there is going to be a living, breathing reminder of Fred right here. How can you forget him with his baby in your arms?" Mr. Granger inquired of his daughter.
Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes, but she refused to allow them to spill over. She had cried enough tears in the last month and a half-she was surprised she hadn't sprained a tear duct.
"I'll have to. Fred doesn't want to be married."
"If that's what you really think, then why did you marry him in the first place?" he asked angrily.
"He was betrothed to that girl. I couldn't let it happen. So when he asked me…I didn't think it would get so out of hand." What she didn't say was that she never expected to fall in love with him, or to wind up pregnant and heartbroken.
Her parents stayed a few minutes later. They had to work the next day and said they'd see her soon. Hermione cleaned up the kitchen and got ready for bed. This was the worst part. She still wasn't used to sleeping alone and when she was all by herself in the quietness of the night she couldn't help but let her mind wander to places it shouldn't.
Like all the times Fred had made her laugh.
Every time he had kissed her.
The nights they had sat around the flat doing nothing, but loved it.
The way it felt to wake up next to him.
The feel of him hugging her tightly.
How cute he had looked when she'd woken up to see him asleep next to her hospital bed.
How scared she'd been when he'd fallen off his broom.
How safe he made her feel.
The way he she'd thought her heart would burst when she thought he was leaving.
How much she loved him.
How he didn't love her back.
But mostly she wondered what he would say if he knew she were pregnant. Most likely he would insist that they get back together, be a real family. But she knew that it was the worst thing she could do. Guilting him into a reconciliation wouldn't do anyone any good, eventually he would just end up resenting her. And she couldn't let that happen.
Her parents told her she had other options. She could tell him, but not get back together. But she couldn't handle that. Feeling the baby grow every day and having to see Fred would only make her love him more.
She could give it up for adoption. But that was never a choice. This was her baby. Fred's baby. And she loved it already. There was no way she could ever give it away to perfect strangers to raise and never see it again.
Most likely, she would have it and tell Fred in a few years. And most likely, Fred would hate her for keeping his child away from him, but it was the safest choice at the moment.
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Fred wondered if the bottle was moving.
He had been lying on his back on the couch, watching the fire whiskey bottle he'd just emptied on the table. He thought he could see it moving across the table.
It had been exactly six weeks, one day, four hours, and twenty seven minutes since he'd woken up and realized that Hermione was gone. And he hadn't been in a good mood since.
He had been fully prepared to leave after the wedding. He knew that the time limit was up on their arrangement, and leaving as soon as possible was the only way to keep his feelings in check so he wouldn't embarrass himself.
But the way she'd looked at him…with eyes so full of what he had been so sure was love, he thought he'd finally had his wish granted. He thought they could really be together.
But finding her gone only reinforced what he knew, should have never doubted, that Hermione didn't love him. That night had just been her way of telling him goodbye. She knew somehow how he felt about her and just wanted to give him something to remember he by. Like that first time-he'd wanted to try it for real after that because he realized he had feelings for her. But seeing her in tears made him come to his senses.
He wondered constantly what she was doing. If she was happy. He hadn't filed the divorce papers yet and she hadn't either. He knew that because he hadn't been served. He knew he had to eventually. Holding on to this would just make the pain worse when it finally ended.
But he couldn't. Couldn't actually bring himself to sign the proof that it was over and Hermione wasn't his anymore. That she never really was.
He missed her so much he could feel it everywhere.
Missed the way she used to use him as a pillow.
The way he used to find her books all over the flat in the strangest places.
How the entire bed smelled like her after she got up in the morning.
The fact that she always knew exactly when to bring him a snack when he was up all night working on a new invention.
That he would find her asleep with her face buried in her files from work.
That he felt totally at peace when he was with her.
Missed pretending that she loved him back.
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"I guess I won't be hearing from you again." Ron said.
Claire looked at him, fury written clearly across her face in the flames of the fireplace. "No. It vas over a year. I cannot hold 'im to ze contract. But you get vat you vant."
"No. I want Hermione. But I can't have her because I'm stuck with Luna."
"You can haff er, you just cannot marry er." Claire
"But I want to marry her!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Good thing he was the only one home.
"Vell, I cannot 'elp you with zat. And I've had enough of being yelled at. Thank you for your 'elp. Goodbye." And with that, she disappeared from the fire.
Ron slumped back in the chair. Why he ever agreed to help that nut was beyond him. He could see now that Fred having to marry he would help nobody but her. It left him with a heavy feeling in his stomach that he had willingly participated in her plan.
Hopefully, with time, it would go away.
…………………
Fred was dreaming. One of those dreams that he knew was a dream. But he couldn't seem to wake up.
In his dream it felt like he had been standing in front of this house for hours. And worse, it was a house he'd never seen before.
Then it happened.
The front door of the house opened and Hermione walked out. Only she wasn't alone. She was carrying a little girl with dark auburn hair and big brown eyes just like her mother's. She grinned up at Fred as Hermione got closer and he saw that she also had Hermione's smile and his own mother's nose.
His daughter. His and Hermione's. Their house he realized, looking up at it.
Dream Hermione handed the baby to him. He looked at her. This was what he wanted more than anything, he saw that now. A family with Hermione. To be with her for the rest of his life.
If only she felt the same way.
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"It's right there." Mrs. Granger pointed to the tiny peanut shape on the paper.
"The peanut? That's the baby?" Hermione pulled the sonogram closer to her face.
Her mother laughed and put an arm around her shoulders. Hermione's two-month checkup had gone smoothly, and they had just gotten their first glimpse of the tiny occupant in Hermione's stomach.
"Just think, that," Hermione pointed to the picture, "will soon be out to here." She held her hands out, demonstrating how large her stomach would be soon.
"And that's not even the fun part." her mother said teasingly.
"I can't wait." Hermione muttered.
They laughed as they came to a halt in front of the elevators. "I'm just excited to meet my grandchild." Mrs. Granger said.
The doors slid open on her last word and Hermione felt her stomach fall through the floor.
Neville was standing there, ashen faced, apparently having heard what her mother had just said.
"Neville…wha…why are you here?" Hermione choked out.
"There's a board member who's a squib member from a very powerful wizarding family. He thinks it's a good idea for healers in training to spend a few months working in muggle hospitals. Helps with 'home remedies' on magical injuries." he explained clinically, like he was reciting a prepared answer.
"Mum, would you go get the car and meet me downstairs?"
"Of course honey." Her mother walked past Neville and the elevator dinged shut.
Hermione grabbed Neville's hand and pulled him off to the side of the hallway. "Neville, you can't tell anyone that you saw me."
"You're pregnant? That's great. What did Fred say?"
She blanched slightly at the mention of Fred. "He doesn't know."
He looked confused. "Why not?"
"It's complicated. Just please…don't say anything." she pleaded.
"Hermione…"
"Neville," she lowered her voice, "I really don't want to have to curse you."
He took an instinctive step back at the thought of Hermione's cursing ability. "Ginny…"
"Can't know. No one can."
"But Hermione…Fred's been going crazy without you. He's in pretty bad shape."
"What's wrong?" She suddenly felt more terror for him than for the threat of being exposed.
"He just kind of…shut down when you left. He won't talk to anyone. Not even George."
Hermione wanted nothing more than to go to Fred and see if what Neville was saying was true. But she knew se couldn't. Knowing Fred, it was probably part of some plot to get people to believe the breakup was devastating to him. Eventually, he'd 'come out' of it, and his family would think he healed sufficiently.
"Neville, promise me." she said, getting back to her previous agenda. "Please."
He swallowed heavily. "I promise."
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A/N: The song last chapter was "Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Rait.
