He goes down on her in the middle of the jungle. With her back pressed against the tree trunk and her jeans around her ankles. His tongue traces pictures on the inside of her thighs and it's already too much for her. She closes her eyes, squeezes them shut, but his mouth moves closer and closer to the center and then, she's coming closer and closer.
He lets out a low growl before his tongue goes back to work. Her fingers run through his blond hair, drawing her own pictures from inside her mind. Images from her past—a fire, a first love, handcuffs—her present—a beach, a plane, a man with a darkness in his blue eyes—her future—a jail cell, a death sentence, a lifetime to repent for her sins.
They all come back to her in a blinding white light. Then, it's black again. She opens her eyes, feels him move to his feet. And he's leaning. Over her. Everywhere.
"How'd you like that?" He talks like he's the one in the control, with the power.
So, she spins him until he's backed up against the tree, unbuckles his belt and gets down on her knees.
It doesn't take her long to show him who is really in charge.
She sees Jack the moment she reemerges from the jungle. Her cheeks are still warm and flushed. She looks at him as he approaches her.
"You seen Sawyer?" he asks.
She shakes her head. Another lie to add to her collection.
"He needs his meds." Jack holds up the pill bottle.
"I'll give it to him."
Jack doesn't let go of the bottle. "Don't worry about it." He looks over her shoulder. "I see him now."
She turns to see Sawyer walk out of the jungle a few moments after she did.
Just like they had planned.
When they talk in the dark, it makes her feel safe.
Like that kiss they had shared when she was half-crazed and all he was trying to do was help.
Behind them, the fire burns as the group sleeps on the beach. They stand where the ocean meets the land. She buries her feet in the wet sand and waits for the undertow to take her away.
"How is he?" Jack asks next to her.
"Who?"
"Sawyer."
"Why are you asking me?"
He shrugs. "You've been spending a lot of time with him."
"Does that bother you?" She asks because she really wants to know.
He looks out to the dark water. "Do whatever you want, Kate."
And she lifts her feet up from their graves and walks to him. She embraces him, pulling her taller frame into hers.
She tells herself this is different. Wanting is different from needing.
She needs this.
It gives her strength. To be able to feel something.
He wants to be inside her. She can tell, but each time she stops him.
Today, he lifts her off the ground, wraps her legs around his waist and again, she stops him from continuing.
"You gonna kill me," he says, his voice heavy with desire.
And maybe that's her plan. Kill the ones you love. She's good at that.
But, he complies and lays his head on her shoulder. "Sooner or later, you're gonna open yourself to me, Freckles." He raises his head, looks into her eyes with that darkness. "In more ways than one."
She hears them yelling in between the trees and bushes. She watches from a distance as the two men wave their arms and gesture wildly as their voices grow louder and louder. Her name filters in through their shouts.
Then, Sawyer throws a punch, even though his arm is still healing. It hits Jack in the face. Both men grimace from the pain.
Jack shoves Sawyer and they both slam into a tree.
And she watches without saying a word. Because she wants to know who will win.
Jack grabs Sawyer's wounded arm. A cheap move, but it works. Sawyer stops and looks up at him.
"What now?" she hears Sawyer ask.
Jack wipes the blood from his nose. "Do whatever you want, Sawyer."
Kate wonders if Sawyer will respond in the same way she did.
Instead, the two men pull away from each other. Jack stalks off while Sawyer leans against the tree with a hand wrapped around his arm and shoulder.
As soon as they're alone, Sawyer looks up at her. "You can come out now."
Startled, she walks out of her hiding spot.
"You see what you're doing," he says, his face still contorted with pain.
She sees it, and she knows it.
A day passes before either Jack or Sawyer decides to speak to her. It's the longest wait for her.
She almost misses them.
She walks alone underneath the full moon, counting the number of times the breeze blows through her hair. Something floats through her dark curls and she catches it. She turns to find a shadow.
"Jack," she sighs.
And he steps into the moonlight. There's something vulnerable in his eyes. It's something she's never seen before. When all she's ever seen, what all she had been used to, has been darkness.
"Come here." His voice is low like a whisper. "Come here."
They meet in the middle in a tangle of arms and kisses and teeth and chests.
And she can almost hear his thoughts.
"Let me love you."
When they pause to catch their breath, he asks, "Is it just me?"
No, he isn't alone. Not in this.
"It's all of us," she says.
The three of them rather be anywhere but here.
But, they're there.
She turns in a slow circle, trying to catch some of the light from the moon and stars. She runs into a body, then another.
They form a triangle. And Kate realizes how unbalanced this all is. How fragile. With no support, they fall into each other.
"I can't do this," Jack says.
"I never liked to share either," Sawyer says.
And Kate turns away. They're both right.
"What do you want to do?" she says. "Talk it out?"
Because that will never happen.
And she hears those words again: "Do whatever you want, Kate."
She looks back at Jack and Sawyer. Her want and her need. Standing together in the dark and the path of the moon. It's unfair for them to put her in this position, to force her to make a choice, when her choice is the three of them.
So, she decides. And they all agree.
She clutches Jack's shirt and pulls her to him. Their mouths meet in a slow kiss. She turns to reach for Sawyer, pulling her up behind her. His hands slip under her shirt and cover her breasts.
That's when she learns three isn't an odd number. That a triangle isn't something that's broken or fragile.
Not when three can become one.
THE END
