CHATPER THREE

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The next day Naruto was careful to keep his sleeves down to hide his arms. The Kyuubi had refused to heal them saying 'If you want to hurt yourself than I don't care!' Naruto didn't care either. He just wanted to stop envying Sasuke and get on. Sadly it didn't help because when he saw Sasuke and Sakura all the feelings he tried to destroy came back. He acted like himself, with great effort, and when Kakashi came they departed. The mission, as it turns out, was going to the country of the Wave to follow a supposed lead on a criminal who had stolen from several people and even attacked others. Naruto, even though he didn't feel so confident, claimed that he could do the mission alone! He mainly said it because he knew that's what they'd expect. But Sakura, of course, told him that he couldn't even recognize friend from foe and to shut up. He complained and Kakashi ordered them to be quiet. That night they set up camp and Naruto lay alone cursing himself. He thought he had stopped it. He didn't know what to do because he had never experienced this. He wondered if it was how Sasuke felt when he thought of his family. Was this the pain of love?

"Why beat yourself up? You are only human." The Demon told him.
'I can't be so selfish… I mean I do care for how she feels but…' He thought… the Kyuubi sighed.

"You will always regret that it wasn't you, you baka." He said. "It's part of being human! Regardless of how much you care for her feelings you will look at the past and hate it. Stop attacking yourself."

Naruto refused to talk to the Kyuubi at this point. When he was sure the others were asleep he sat up and fiddled in his backpack.
"I know what you are looking for… why can't you listen to me?" Naruto ignored the fox and pulled out the same blade from the night before. He had to make himself feel different. The Kyuubi stopped talking as Naruto made sure that no one was awake and, for the first time in ages, on the edge of tears…

The next day they continued their walk and nothing out of the ordinary happened in front of the others. The next day followed the same pattern except they had nearly arrived. They made it there on the fourth day of their journey, the bridge made it a bit easier since no one was willing to take them by boat. All throughout the time no one noticed Naruto was careful to keep his arms covered. He didn't speak much while they walked along the bridge. Kakashi assumed it was because of the fight they had fought here a while ago. Against Haku and Zabuza Momochi. They had won but Zabuza was not their enemy in the end. Neither was Haku. Both had died due to Gotou an evil man who had died as well. No one really was happy…well that's not really true seeing how Sakura was happily hanging over Sasuke and Sasuke was trying to ignore her. Naruto just glanced at the ground as he walked. Kakashi sighed and pulled out his book and Sakura noticed and yelled at him. He put it away sadly wanting to read more of the story but didn't want to risk Sakura attacking, as she had taken to doing when he pulled out Come, Come Paradise.

That night they stayed with Tazuna and the whole family was glad to see them. Naruto acted cheerful and Sasuke acted bored. Sakura… well she was comparing herself to any girl who walked around the area trying to make sure that Sasuke wouldn't go after one. Pretty stupid thing to do since Sasuke, clearly, just wanted to think or train. After a while they ate dinner and they went off to explore the town. Sakura dragged Sasuke off and Naruto ran off to find the nearest ramen store… or at least he said he was going to. Instead he sat in an alley and demanded that the Kyuubi heal him.
"It's none of my business kid. I only heal unintentional stuff."
"You damn fox! Cure me now!" The demon laughed.
"Why? So you can do it all again?" Naruto sighed. "Tell you what kid…" The Kyuubi said. "Lets make a deal." The deal turned out to be that to get the Kyuubi to heal him it either had to be when there was just too many wounds on his arms or when he stops hurting himself altogether.

They all looked around for the thief but he was nowhere to be found. They gave up for that night and stayed at Tazuna's. When eating Naruto remembered the time he and Sasuke had been training. They worked so hard and ended up finishing at the same time. Sakura had already beaten both out though. Inari noticed slight differences in Naruto's actions and words although they sounded perfectly like him to the others. Maybe it was the fact that he was younger and Naruto was his hero or maybe it was some other reason. He asked his grandpa about it but Tazuna didn't notice anything so he figured it must be Naruto growing up and changing as people do. Naruto lay there in bed with his eyes closed. He was awake, of course, but he was hoping to sleep. He wanted to get this horrible experience over with so he could probably talk to someone about it. Maybe Kakashi or even Tazuna. But while he was injured he didn't want to risk it. He didn't want to slip up and show them what he had done to himself. To Tazuna he was a hero and to Kakashi he was a fun loving, yet serious, kid with a lot of potential. He couldn't disappoint either of them like that. He decided to keep it for himself until the Kyuubi healed him. He actually fell asleep for a few minutes but awoke due to more dreams of Sakura and pains he could cause. He sat up and sighed. He looked over at his backpack and shook his head slightly. Even so he found himself getting up and silently walking over to it, despite the fact that he had told himself that he wouldn't do so. He looked at the blade this time and noticed that he hadn't cleaned it in a while. He slowly got up and walked into the bathroom, careful not to wake anyone. He looked at his wounds, six long cuts and scratches on each arm. He rinsed the blade off simply because it'd be suspicious if found. He didn't exit the room but looked at the kunai.
"What is this? Again?" The fox asked. Naruto didn't talk back. He just looked at himself trying to think of another solution. The physical pain usually caused enough pain to help him ignore his internal pain. But not forever, it was not permanent and he knew that.
"Why?" He asked silently. He didn't understand why he kept going for a temporary solution. But it was the only one he chose to use. He didn't believe that talking would work any better. He looked into his own eyes through the mirror and tried to look at nothing else as he lifted the blade again…

The next morning he pretended to awake and ate breakfast with the others. Then they found the thief at a food stand, surprisingly when going to look for fruit and not the thief. They confronted him and he began running away as fast as he could! Naruto Sakura and Sasuke all gave chase! They caught up and the guy attacked! They dodged it and Naruto leapt into the air and grabbed a pole to pull himself up. But he felt a jab of pain in his arm and let go! He hit the ground and grunted! The guy threw a knife at him and he leapt away but it still cut his arm! He rolled over and made a hand sign.
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" He shouted as four Shadow Clones appeared. Naruto chased him… well more than one Naruto did. Sakura and Sasuke caught him even though the guy was able to destroy the clones with well-thrown knives! Naruto swore as he continued to give chase but the pain in his arm was more than he expected. He realized then that it had opened a wound he had given himself the night before. One the Kyuubi refused to heal. He leapt for the guy and attacked but he ended up slipping on a puddle near a fountain. He reached out to grab the fountain and when he did he felt more pain as his movements pulled the wound open more! He fell on the ground and rolled over climbing to his feet holding back any expressions that would reveal that it was more than just one cut. Sakura and Sasuke confronted the guy and captured him surprisingly easy after the performance Naruto gave. Kakashi showed up, late, and identified him. They turned him over to the authorities and Konoha was given its payment. Naruto clutched his right arm, the one that guy hit, as he walked.
"NARUTO!" Sakura cried when she saw the new wound. "You need to get that looked at!" He shook his head.
"It'll be fine." He said. Sasuke smirked at him.
"Not fast enough baka?" He asked. "Seriously that guy was weak. What was up with you?" Naruto ignored him as Sakura started talking again.
"Come on we have to see how bad it is! Just pull up your sleeve and…"
"No!" Naruto said angrily. "It'll be fine." Sakura turned to Kakashi who smiled.
"I think he's right. It's just a cut. And he had worse on our mission here last time." He gave her a wink and then turned around. Normally Naruto begs for relief when he is not in battle…I wonder what is wrong.