Kit knew what the answer was. He'd expected too much and part of him had known that the answer would be no. The truth cut him deeply but he had had more than a substantial part in his relationship's breakdown. Standing up he walked over to Robyn and kneeling down in front of her cupped one of her cheeks gently with one of his hands. His touch caused her to look at him and he was horrified to see a trace of fear in those large blue eyes. Taking his hand from her cheek he placed it in his lap and looked down.
"You love me but you're not in love with me. I understand. You're released from any remaining obligations you have to me. If you want to be with Ziggy or anyone else I won't stand in your way. I'm sorry things happened like this. I never meant to hurt you but hurting you is all I'll ever do." Kit said before giving Robyn one last kiss.
Standing up he walked away. Letting her go was the hardest thing he'd ever done. The further he walked from her the more it hurt. His pain returned and filled him from head to foot. It was what he'd asked for. Deep within he had wanted punishment for what he'd done and now he had it.
Robyn watched Kit walk stiffly away. She wanted him to come back, she wanted to tell him that everything would be ok and that she would marry him again but it would be a lie. It would be a continuation of the lie she'd been living for over a year, she wouldn't only be lying to him but she'd be lying to herself and all those around her. It couldn't happen.
Everyone sat anxiously outside the house. They didn't know what was happening in the garden and each had their own hopes. When they saw Kit returning from the garden alone they all knew what had happened. Some were shocked while others had expected something like this to happen.
While Robbie, Sportacus and Ché made their way over to the garden Doctor Cole attempted to console Kit but to no effect. Well aware that he could be putting himself in danger if Kit's temper flared Ziggy walked up to Kit and Doctor Cole. He had to speak to the man he'd had a part in hurting.
"Kit?" He asked barely above a whisper.
Hearing his name Kit looked up. Releasing himself from the loose hold Doctor Cole had on him he stood in front of Ziggy. His deep brown eyes held no trace of anger. There was just sadness within them. The kind of sadness seen when people know they've lost the thing they treasured most in the world and that they had been responsible.
Kit looked Ziggy straight in the eyes and said, "Look after her. Don't make the same mistakes I did. She's too precious to go through that again."
Taking one of Ziggy's hands in his Kit shook it before walking into the house to pack his things. It was time to move on. He would get the help he'd promised he'd get, if not for Robyn for himself. Returning to drifting wasn't an option, he was too domesticated now. He knew if he went back to that life he'd die during his first winter back on the road. It had been too long; he had lost his instincts and the will to put his life on the line every single day.
Entering the bedroom he looked around. This had been his home for nearly a year. It had been the foundation he'd rested on and had intended to build a life on. Now it was all over. Opening the wardrobe he pulled out his bag and began to take clothes from their hangers and put them inside.
Kit heard footsteps on the stairs and turned around when the footsteps stopped at the bedroom door. He saw Robyn standing there and he managed to smile if only for a few seconds. Robyn smiled back with the same difficulty and then went to sit on the bed.
"Can we talk?" Robyn asked tears working their way down her cheeks.
Kit nodded and sat beside her.
Knowing that Kit was waiting for her to say what she wanted to say Robyn spoke, "I never meant to hurt you either. I didn't mean for any of this to happen and if I could have stopped it I would. I know you're leaving and that you're not intending to come back."
"Nothing gets by you does it? If I could have stopped things happening the way they did then I would have as well. It's just one of those things I guess. I guess it's true what they say about whirlwind romances never lasting."
"Never fault the critics. They know what they're talking about. It's just a shame that they were right and we weren't strong enough to prove them wrong."
"I know you didn't intend to hurt me any more than I intended to hurt you. If being with Ziggy makes you happy than I'll be happy too and I'm glad I helped you discover those feelings. What we shared was special and I'll never forget it. We had some good times didn't we?"
Robyn nodded, "Wonderful times. I'll never forget it either and if you're ever round this way again I hope you'll drop by."
"And if you're ever anywhere near Greentown drop me a line. I take it I'll be living with Doctor Cole for a while and then I'll see where the winds take me."
"They'll take you further afield than Greentown. In your sock drawer you'll find an envelope. It's a wedding present."
Looking at Robyn with slight confusion Kit knelt down beside his night stand and opened the drawer he kept his socks in. Inside was an envelope just as Robyn had said and it had handwriting on it. Opening the envelope he pulled out a piece of paper with a name and phone number on it. There was another piece of paper inside which had a note written on it and he read it.
Kit,
If you find this note you'll know that things have gone wrong between us. The phone number is the number of a circus that has settled temporarily near Greentown. I sent video footage of you doing your tricks to the ringmaster of the circus who also owns it and he was very enthusiastic about hearing from you.
If things have indeed gone wrong between us I want you to go to this circus. Not for me but for yourself. It gives you time away from here and all the people that know you. Ultimately it gives you time away from me. You will be free to live your dream and live it to the full. Dreams are precious things and only come true if you believe in them enough. You believed in yours stronger than anyone I've known and you can live it now.
Whatever the future brings,
Robyn
"I know it's not ideal at the moment but time away is what you need. The people there don't know you and so they won't know what has happened between us. You can go whenever you like, there's no time limit." Robyn explained.
Kit looked up at Robyn and smiled. It was a genuine smile. If he had words to express the elation he was feeling he would have shouted them for the world to hear. She had given him the chance to live his dream of working in a circus even after all that had passed between them. This meant a lot to him and he accepted it as a peace offering. Looking down at the phone number and then up at Robyn again all he could do was shake his head.
After a little while Robyn lowered herself down to the floor and hugged Kit, "I've never seen you this lost for words before."
"It's a first I tell you that. I know this doesn't fix the damage we've both done to each other and that we'll both be hurting for a while but we'll get better. We're both making a new start in life here. I want you to promise me something."
"Like what?"
Kit took both of Robyn's hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes, "I want you to promise that you'll make a go of it with Ziggy. Promise me that you'll marry him and have lots and lots and lots and lots of babies. What's that look for?"
"Well I'm expecting you to freeze to death. It sounds an awful lot like what Jack made Rose promise in Titanic before he died."
Kit burst out laughing at what Robyn said and had to wipe tears of laughter from his eyes. He was sure that what he'd been saying sounded a lot like something he'd heard before.
Once he was sure he could look at Robyn without laughing again Kit continued, "Seriously though and if I going to freeze to death I should say this quickly. Marry Ziggy and have kids with him. Grow old together and I'll be there having wheelchair races round the Greentown Retirement Village with you two and I'll run off with your false teeth. Do with him what you could never do with me. Be happy. I know he would die before he hurt you and he wouldn't think of raising a lollipop to you let alone a fist and if he needs a best man he knows where to find me."
"You'd do that?"
"Absolutely. He did it for me after all. Anyway its custom for the bride to sleep with the best man the night before the wedding, I could get lucky."
Pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes Robyn shook her head before smiling and then laughing.
Ten minutes later Kit and Robyn left the house. Both looked considerably happier than they had done when they had entered it and everyone knew an understanding had been reached. It wasn't the outcome they had all hoped for but it was better than nothing.
Ziggy walked over to the pair when Kit beckoned him over and when he got to them Kit put his hand in Robyn's. This gave him a clear message and as surprised as he was he still thanked Kit. When Kit left him and Robyn to say his goodbyes he hugged her.
After refusing a goodbye party and kisses from most of the women Kit opened the passenger side door of Doctor Cole's car. Before getting in he turned to the crowd of his friends and the people he considered his family.
Pointing at the group in general Kit smiled and in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice said, "I'll be back!"
Doctor Cole's car pulled away to the sound of laughter. Everyone knew they'd see Kit again. Lazytown would be quiet without the clown that had stolen their hearts but they'd get by.
They always did.
