I'm reposting the second chapter of Seedlings as a separate story because:
1. I want to avoid confusion as I flesh it out.
2. The Seedlings version has already been translated into Russian.
3. Comments are my heroin.
Now that we have that out of the way, on with chapter 3! I present the obligatory Office AU!
Hashirama doesn't understand that not every morsel that meets his eye is his to consume. Even half of a buffet doesn't sate the beast for long. Several all-you-can-eat establishments have asked him to leave. It's mind-boggling that Hashirama has yet to eat his family out of house and home.
In their school days, Madara's lunch was always at risk. He did his best to protect it, but Hashirama always managed to pilfer at least a few bites. Half a bento went missing if Madara wasn't paying close enough attention. He didn't have the resources to employ other strategies then but as a salaryman? Madara can get creative.
Rather than waste precious energy fighting on an empty stomach, he prepares a decoy lunch. By the time Hashirama finishes his two-tiered bento and the decoy, Madara has finished his lunch and is back to work. No amount of whining or prodding will magically make the food reappear.
Checkmate.
The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan is that Madara has the culinary skills of a child. Izuna did all of the cooking for the both of them. Since he moved out, Madara is left with no choice but frequenting the supermarket.
The stares are not appreciated. It's no one else's business what he buys. Some look tempted to comment on the amount of inarizushi in his basket, but a glare discourages bothering him with such nonsense.
Why wouldn't he buy a decent amount of something he knows is delicious? Besides, the store increased the amount of inarizushi they have in stock to accommodate him. Not only would it be rude to change routine without warning them first, he would be shirking his duty as a consumer. Small businesses rely on loyal customers like him. Honestly, his patronage is a form of community service.
Madara is stacking the last container of inarizushi in his basket when he notices Tobirama turning the corner. Being nagged to death at work is one thing, but outside? Unacceptable. Madara decides a tactical retreat is the best option.
Unfortunately, he takes the turn into the aisle too fast and collides with another customer. Madara curses internally as the impediment squawks in surprise. Their respective items fall to the floor and the commotion has already drawn in some gawkers. If he doesn't do something quick, Tobirama will join the fray.
Hastily, he gathers up the contents of both of their baskets. The quicker this is over with, the quicker he can get out of Tobirama's nagging range. The stranger grumbles but helps Madara clean up the mess. Strangely, they have no problem differentiating which products belong to whom.
Ah, that's why. She only has cup ramen in her basket. A lot of them. His brow furrows, but he doesn't have time to question it with Tobirama afoot.
With their baskets finally in order, Madara gathers his precious bundle in his arms and swiftly turns another aisle corner. Thankfully, no one gets in his way this time. Madara breathes a sigh of relief just as he notices that he has company. The stranger from before asks, "Who are we hiding from?"
He looks at her like she's crazy, but she seems to genuinely expect an answer from him. Madara is not at all sorry to disappoint her. He ignores the question and makes his way to the register. He continues to ignore the footsteps that follow after him. He pointedly ignores the conspicuous presence behind him in the check-out line. Madara accepts that he has to draw a line in the sand when he turns to head home and catches a blonde head of hair in his periphery.
With a sigh, he turns to meet her intense gaze. She cuts him off before he can tell her to get lost, "You really like inarizushi, huh?"
"Pardon?"
"I mean, you always buy it."
"How would you know?" That was the exact wrong thing to say.
"You haven't noticed me before now? We usually shop at the same time." She lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "I always try to check out after you cuz the cashier in lane 3 has a crush on you, ya know? She's usually really grouchy, but after ringing you up? She's so happy that she lets me use expired coupons."
Why should he care that a woman he has barely spoken to has a crush on him? This conversation topic would better suit high schoolers. Then again, she doesn't seem much older than that. Whatever youth fashion trend dictates drawing whiskers on one's face, he wants no part of it.
Madara is not at the store to lollygag and socialize like she apparently is. He gets what he needs and gets out. An opportunity to escape this social interaction she trapped him in presents itself when one of the store clerks asks them to stop blocking the exit, but his hopes are dashed when she drags him to a nearby park.
She seems ready to dive right back into another stream of chatter, so Madara tries to make his exit. He forces a modicum of courtesy into his tone, "I'd like to get home soon and we barely know each other—"
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, ya know!" Of course, she would take that as a cue to introduce herself.
He was raised right, so he responds in kind, "Uchiha Madara. Anyway, I've really got to get going—"
"Uchiha? Are you related to Sasuke?"
Could Uzumaki be one of Sasuke's fangirls trying to pump him for information? If it will get her to leave him alone, he'll gladly give her a fake address and phone number. No, Tobirama's contact information. Perfect. "Are you trying to get in touch with him? If you like, I can tell you his address and phone number."
Uzumaki's face screws up. "No, thanks. I already know those. Besides, I see enough of that bastard at work!"
Oh no.
Sasuke works in another department, but they work at the same company. Madara doesn't know how Uzumaki got the job if she doesn't even recognize his name as one of the company's founders, but it works to his advantage. The last thing he needs is for her to find him again.
An excited gasp ushers in the apocalypse. "You work at Konoha Enterprises, too?! I've never seen you before, are you new?"
Fuck. He forgot about his work lanyard. Madara pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Before he can put Uzumaki in her place, she whips out her phone to check the time. The time warrants another gasp and she finally turns to leave. Unfortunately, her parting words instill him with a profound sense of dread. "Sorry, Mads, gotta go! My show is starting soon. Let's eat lunch together tomorrow! I'll come find you!"
Damn it, Hashirama.
