Chapter 5 "Comfort In Queens"
When Fin and Jessie returned to the SVU precinct they were soaked to the bone. They walked through the door and to their desks, Jessie giggling, while everyone stared at them.
"At least our food didn't get wet." Jessie announced laughing. She pulled their bag of food out from under her jacket. "I don't care how wet I got as long as my foods safe and sound." Fin laughed and shook his head.
"I'll put this in the microwave." He said, taking the bag from Jessie.
She took her jacket off and plopped heavily down into her chair. A few minutes later Fin brought their food, pulled up a chair next to Jessie, and they finished their meal together. Just as Fin sat down Elliot sauntered over and snatched a fry off Jessie's paper plate that Fin had also brought.
"That's theft Stabler." Jessie scowled at him. He just laughed. She fits right in, he thought.
"Since tomorrows a Sunday, do you wanna come and get your boxes out of storage and take them to my place then?" He asked her, chewing on his fry. Jessie shook her head at the lack of manners. Back home if Jessie had spoken with her mouth full her momma would of given her a good whack in the head with a wooden spoon.
"Yeah, if that's okay with you." Jessie said after she swallowed a bite of sinfully good burger.
"Perfectly fine with me." Elliot smiled.
"Okay, cool. Before we leave just let me go to the storage closet and grab what I'll need for tomorrow." Elliot nodded and started to walk back to his desk.
"Hey Stabler," Jessie called. Elliot looked over his shoulder. "It isn't polite to talk with your mouth full and you've got French fry stuck between your two front teeth." She said, taking another bite of burger.
Elliot glared at her and walked on to his desk, self consciously trying to get the fry out of his teeth. Jessie figured it would take him a good ten minutes before he figured out she'd been joking.
Jessie nearly laughed as Elliot tried to strut a little. He's definitely a confident guy, Jessie decided. She also decided she needed to break down his ego just a bit. And while Jessie watched Elliot, Fin watched Jessie. He sighed and took an aggressive bite out of his remaining burger. Jessie turned her attention back to Fin.
"So, I assume you aren't married?" Jessie asked before she took the last bite of her burger, disappointment washing over her.
"Nope," He replied. She waited for him to say something else but he didn't try to elaborate.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Jessie eyes narrowed. She didn't like being flirted with by unavailable men and he'd definitely been flirting with her back at the restaurant.
"I'm in-between girlfriends right at the moment." Fin smirked. Jessie glared. "In other words, no, I'm single." He added as he finished his burger. Then they both dug into the remaining fries.
"I have a son." Fin divulged. Then he wanted to slap himself. Fin was a private man and was usually good at remaining tight-lipped about his personal life and Ken, his son, fell under that category.
"Oh! How old?" Jessie asked excitedly.
"Nineteen. His names Ken."
"Is he a lot like you?" Jessie asked, plunging a fry mercilessly into some ketchup as if trying to drown it. She loved ketchup. Fin thought for a moment and then sighed sadly.
"I honestly have no clue." Jessie raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't exactly there for him when he was a kid. We're just now getting to a place where we speak somewhat regularly." Jessie nodded slowly.
She had to pick and choose her words carefully now. Jessie had strong opinions and one of the things she felt strongly opinionated about were kids whose fathers and mothers abandoned them. She was lucky enough to have a wonderful father and mother in the picture but she'd seen too many kids who hadn't grown up with the same luxury. Her philosophy was if you don't want kids don't have them. She decided not to say anything at all.
Fin sensed her apprehension. In the Gang Division he was sure she saw a lot of messed up kids who blamed all their troubles on not having a parental figure and knew she'd have a problem with what he'd just told her. Hell, he thought, most people have a problem with what I just told her, including me.
"Look," Fin pulled his chair a little closer to hers. "I was a different person back then…" He began but Jessie interrupted.
"You don't have to justify yourself to me." She snapped. She had very little patience for people who tried to justify actions that they just plain knew were wrong.
"You think I'm trying to justify why I'm a lousy dad?" Fin felt his temper begin to rise.
"Sounds like it to me." Jessie glared at him. She's good at that glare, he thought. Her eyes seemed to get a shadow of anger over them and her eyes turned an almost aqua green color.
"I was a punk ass jerk when Ken was born okay?" Fin tried not to yell. He wanted this conversation to stay between him and Jessie. "I cared more about my damn job then I did my family and I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't. I don't make excuses for myself and I certainly ain't trying to justify myself for being a bastard!" Fin's voice remained level and low. Jessie was all but stunned.
"I have been here for a day!" Jessie shook her head. "Why the hell did you tell me, of all people, the new chick you thought was a hooker, all of that?" Jessie was exasperated. Today, she thought, has been a very unusual day.
Fin sat back in his chair and wondered the exact same thing. What made him tell her about his son? What made him want to tell her more? Fin wasn't exactly what you would call a romantic and he certainly didn't count on love just walking right through his doors, but there was something about this woman. Something not even he, the King of Denial, could shake. Fin looked in her eyes. They were softer now. Back to a shade of blue, or green, or gray… back to a color that couldn't exactly be named. Just like her, he thought. Someone that can't be named or explained.
"I guess I did need to justify something. Not for who I was then but for who I am now." Fin reached out and gently touched her hand. "I'm not that person anymore. I want you to get to know the man I've become." He said with so much sincerity that, if Jessie were a typical emotional female, it would have broken her heart.
Instead, Jessie's gaze shamefully hit the floor. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She definitely wouldn't mind getting to know Odafin Tutuola but the question was… did she want him to get to know her? Was she ready to open up?
She looked up at him and smiled. She decided to cross that bridge when they came to it. If they came to it, she scolded herself.
"Then lets start with the basics." Jessie suggested. Fin smiled, pulled his hand back, and propped his head up with his elbow on her desk. "How old are you?"
"Thirty-seven." Fin answered. "And you?"
"Twenty-six."
"I was eleven when you were born." Fin pointed out. Jessie rolled her eyes.
"So, math was your favorite subject growing up?"
Jessie and Fin continued their conversation for about another hour. She learned that Fin had grown up in Harlem and hung out with the wrong crowd, more or less. He straightened up his life after seeing a good friend shot execution style by a drug dealer.
"That's when I decided to be a cop." He said.
Fin told her he'd worked with Narcotics for six years before joining SVU.
"I don't know anything other than Gang Division," Jessie admitted to Fin. "This is gonna take some getting used to." Fin smiled at her and Jessie just couldn't help but smiling back.
John and Olivia covertly watched Jessie and Fin, each trying to figure out how to win the bet. John knew Olivia could see just as plainly as he could what was unfolding right in front of them. Fin and Jessie were definitely attracted to one another. They found one another attractive but they seemed to connect on an intellectual level as well. They conversed easily.
John glanced over at Olivia, who had quite a sour look on her face, and smiled.
"Ready to give up on our bet already?" John teased. Olivia shot him a dirty look.
"Not a chance." She growled. "Elliot will put all thoughts of Fin out of her head once he gets her home." Olivia smiled a mock smile.
John pulled a face and walked back to his desk just as Captain Cragen walked out of his office.
"Alright folks, its almost Nine so why don't we all head out?" Don said, clapping his hands. He was eager to get home. "I want you all to get a good day of rest tomorrow. Especially you Jessie. You've earned it. See you all bright and early Monday morning!" He smiled as he grabbed his coat and hat off the rack and headed out the door.
"Well, I'm out of here." John said. "Or not, if Fin's not ready." Fin rolled his eyes and threw his and Jessie's trash away.
"I ought to make your bony ass walk." Fin quipped as he put on his coat.
"Jessie, you made this day a pleasure." John kissed the top of her hand like he had earlier that day. Jessie blushed and hugged him.
"Yeah, today was a little more interesting than usual." Fin grinned and put a friendly hand on her shoulder. "Welcome to SVU." He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and jogged to catch up with John, who was now entering the elevator, mumbling something about slow young people and how he wasn't going to hold the elevator for him.
Jessie stretched her arms out, put on her jacket, and then headed down the hallway toward the storage closet.
She walked into the small dusty room that was filled with boxes of all her belongings. Some were knickknacks, C D's, clothes, jewelry, and everything else from her life back in Texas.
She sat down on a box full of something or other (from the soreness of her bottom it felt like pots and pans) and started looking through a box, gathering clothes, a duffel bag, and her tennis shoes.
Just as she'd finished packing the duffel bag she began to shut the top of a box when she noticed an old photograph that had gotten mixed in with her shoes. It was a picture of Jessie as a baby of maybe three and her parents. Sadness filled her body as she gazed down at the picture.
"Cute kid." Jessie jumped in surprise and turned to see Elliot standing over her. Jessie stood up and laughed nervously. Either Elliot was very sneaky or Jessie had been in a serious trance because others had found it almost impossible to sneak up on Detective Jessica Jade Harper.
"Yeah, I was a cute kid, wasn't I?" Jessie smirked. Elliot picked up Jessie's bag and they walked out of the storage closet and went down to the parking garage. Elliot noticed that Jessie stuck the picture in her back pocket.
"Those your parents?" Elliot asked, putting Jessie's bag in the back seat. They climbed into the car and headed toward Queens, where Elliot lived.
"Yeah, that's my folks." Jessie smiled sadly.
"Are you an only child?" Jessie nodded.
"It was fun growing up though." Jessie beamed as childhood memories came flooding back to her. "I had a big family and lots of cousins so there was usually always someone for me to play with. But when there wasn't I was good at entertaining myself. I have a very good imagination." Elliot laughed.
"I bet your folks miss you a lot, huh?" He asked. Jessie's smile faded as she turned her attention to the New York skyline. There were so many buildings. Too much concrete, Jessie decided. She was beginning to really miss the country.
"Hey, did I say something wrong?" Elliot broke her train of thought. She looked over at him and smiled weakly, a halfhearted attempt to ease his worry.
"No, you didn't say anything wrong Elliot," Jessie said sadly. "Both of my parents are gone." Elliot nodded, understanding what she meant.
"Yeah, mine too." He said quietly.
"My father passed when I was twenty-two and my mother when I was twenty-three." She divulged to Elliot. This is a lot more than I told Fin, she thought.
The rest of the car ride was silent. Neither of the two felt like there was anything left to say at the moment. But the silence wasn't the uncomfortable awkward kind that often befell people. No, this silence was comfortable to both Elliot and Jessie. It was new to her. She usually felt like she had to be in constant conversation as if afraid the lack of sound would suck her in and swallow her like a black hole. But this was an easy silence that just felt right. Jessie liked it. She liked it a lot.
"So, do you like her?" John asked Fin on the way to John's apartment.
"What did you just say? I think I just heard you say you wanted to walk to and from work from now on?" Fin joked. John gave him his patented glare from over the top of his glasses.
"Answer the question." John said firmly.
"Will you give it a rest already? I hardly know her!" Fin exclaimed.
"Then get to know her."
"I will if you stop pestering me."
"I'm just saying I think it's a good idea." John said as they pulled up in front of his apartment building.
"She's new okay? Just leave it alone for a while." Fin half begged.
"Fine, lets get her settled in, then you pounce!" Fin rolled his eyes. The rolling of the eyes is a contagious habit, he thought. Thanks Jessie.
"Get out of my damn car." John got out, smiling at his aggressive partner.
"See you Monday morning!" John said cheerily. Fin said bye and drove off toward his own apartment in Brooklyn.
"Crazy old idiot!" Fin said aloud to himself. Don't even know what he's talking about, he thought. Then he thought back to Jessie.
There was definitely some form of attraction there, Fin thought. He wasn't blind after all! This chick was pretty cute. But there was also something else about her beyond how she looked.
Jessie had an attitude that rivaled his own. An attitude that spoke volumes about her person. She was confident but not cocky. She was bold but not stupid and brave but not reckless. He'd witnessed how calmly she'd aimed a loaded weapon to Marcos Cortez's face with ease. She was cool and collected but Fin would bet a lot of money that her temper was worse then Elliot's, John's, Olivia's, Don's, and his own combined.
This job would be a true test of her character, he thought. But she'd manage. This chick was strong. She had to be to have survived in the Gang Division and make detective so young. He couldn't imagine what horrors this woman had already seen, even though he knew it would only get worse now that she was a part of SVU. Yet, so far, she seemed upbeat and happy. Yeah, that's what I like, Fin thought.
He'd made a decision. He would give her a little time to get used to her new changes and challenges, give himself time to get to know her a lot better, make sure he was right about her, and then maybe ask her out for a nice dinner.
Fin laughed at himself because he was actually excited. In fact, he almost couldn't wait. He shook his head. Munch was right, he thought. "I've got it bad."
"Home sweet home!" Elliot said as they entered his house from the garage. "Make yourself comfortable." He smiled at her as they entered the kitchen. He sat her bag down on the counter.
"Lets take a quick tour." He suggested. Jessie smiled eagerly. She was excited to see what the house was like, seeing as she'd now be living there. Only for a few months, Jessie chided herself. She couldn't let herself love the house too much because she knew she wouldn't be there forever.
Elliot began the tour in the kitchen. Showing her where the plates, cups, and silverware all were. They moved into the living room and from there to the kid's rooms. Maureen and Kathleen shared a bedroom downstairs and the twins shared an upstairs bedroom. They moved up the stairs where Elliot showed her the twin's room, his room, and her room.
She put her bag down by the door and then looked around. The room was painted in a cream color. Very natural, Jessie thought, glancing down at the carpet. It was a dark blue. There was a full sized bed pushed up against the far wall so that the headboard was next to one of the two windows. A nice dresser was shoved in a corner and Jessie saw a fairly nicely sized closet. Lots of space, she thought.
"I'll keep my furniture in storage. This is nicer." She laughed and Elliot laughed.
"This furniture was my mothers." Elliot smiled sadly. Jessie smiled in return.
Jessie had to admit she missed her bed, though the one in the room looked awful comfortable. Elliot pointed out the adjoining bathroom, which was also decorated in natural colors.
"Thanks for letting me stay here Elliot. I owe you big time." Jessie said gratefully. "I reckon it would had gotten lonely at the precinct." He grinned.
"I'm glad for the company also. It gets pretty lonely here without the kids." Elliot said almost gloomily.
"I promise I'll make as much noise as possible." Jessie joked. Elliot laughed and shook his head.
"I guess I'll leave you to get settled in, take a shower, whatever you wanna do." Elliot said smiling.
"I'm plum tuckered out. I reckon I'm gonna take a shower and turn in. This will be the first decent clean bed I'll of slept in since I got here!" Elliot grimaced. Her undercover job had apparently not been simple. She'd probably had to sleep in some pretty raunchy places.
"That's awful." Elliot said. Though he often had to sleep at the station at least it was clean and safe. He was a forty-year-old man and even he would be a little scared sleeping in a crack house.
"Back in Texas I'd slept in much worse conditions. No big." Jessie shrugged it off. So what if one of the places she'd been stuck in was extremely dirty with mice, roaches, spiders, and any other kind of bug you could think of infesting it. Not to mention the strung out sex crazed junkie homeless people. She really had slept in worse conditions and at least she didn't get shot.
Elliot left her to get comfortable in her new room and told her to pop in his room, if she wanted, and say goodnight.
She thought about the events of the day as she took a good hot shower. The water flowing over her skin felt so good. The stress of the day had made some of her old injuries stiffen up. She hadn't noticed over the course of the day because she'd learned to ignore the pain. She took off the bandage on her knee, cleaned the scrape, and put on a fresh one.
Once done she put on her pajamas she tip toed down the hallway and peered into Elliot's room. He was conked out on top of the covers, fully clothes and shoed, snoring contently. Jessie rolled her eyes and stepped quietly into the room.
Jessie carefully took off his shoes and socks and loosened his tie. She found a throw blanket sitting beside the bed and she covered him with it. As she turned to exit the room Elliot reached and grabbed her hand.
"Thanks," He whispered. She looked down at him, her wet hair matted to her head and no make up on. Elliot took in a sharp breath and swore that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
For some reason, to the day Jessie couldn't quite say why, but she was compelled to do something that was completely out of her nature and, at the moment, possibly completely inappropriate, but she did it anyway. Jessie bent down slowly and kissed Elliot on the forehead. Yes, it was a small gesture, but a gesture that spoke volumes.
And then something else surprising happened. Jessie felt a pang of guilt shoot through her as one word came to her mind. Fin. What about Fin? She couldn't possibly have feelings for him. She hadn't even known him for twenty-four hours! But then Jessie was reminded of a quote that her mother had told her once when she was a teenager.
"It takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. But an entire life to forget them."
Even if that were true, Jessie thought, I haven't known Fin or Elliot for an entire day, so I shouldn't jump the gun. She said a quiet goodnight to Elliot and quickly left the room.
Jessie lay down in the new bed. Oh my gosh, she thought. It was so comfortable. Jessie curled up on her side as she felt herself begin to drift off. She said a quick prayer of thanks for all the wonderful people she'd met that day. Especially Fin and Elliot, she thought.
"I'm gonna like it here," Jessie said aloud and then drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.
