Awkward Silence
/by Masigla

i only fear love when it's in my dreams

Author's Note
Oh, man. u----u. I'm sorry for the long gap in updates, again. I've been busy with other stuff… and other fics. XD Haha. I'll take this opportunity to plug my Christmas fic, Sweet Christmas, and my Rent KH-style fic, Seasons of Love, and my newest high-school fic thing, The Art of Love. Man, I'm getting busy. XD –shameless plugger-

And sorry for the suckiness of this chapter… I was really trying my hardest to finish this. I made the first parts way back when, and never got around to finishing it until now.

Disclaimer
Kingdom Hearts © Square-enix & Disney
Simple & Clean © Toshiba-Emi Limited
OC's, plot © Masigla/Anna

so that in the morning light

It was the night. It was the night of the dance. We had all been hanging out at Dinah's house since school ended—watching Friday afternoon sitcoms on Dinah's plasma TV, running around the house chasing her puppy she called Pancake, eating mint chocolate chip ice cream, and eventually we each took a shower so we would be fresh at the dance (plus we kind of reeked from playing with Pancake a lot) and we did each other's hair and a little bit of makeup. We didn't to anything over the top, just a little eyeliner, mascara, lip-gloss, foundation—that kind of stuff. Dinah's hair was in a ponytail then held up by a clip, Selphie's hair was… the same, and mine was put up in a messy bun (but it still looked good).

As for our outfits, Dinah wore a cute blue tee shirt, which fit her really nicely, and a white miniskirt, and white flip-flops. Selphie wore a green skirt, an orange tee shirt and a green cami over the tee shirt, and white tennis shoes. As for myself, I wore a rosy pink cami under a white hooded cardigan with short sleeves, and a blue, white and lavender plaid miniskirt. Least I could say, I had enough confidence to say that we all looked pretty good.

And as if looking good weren't a treat enough, Dinah's mom agreed to taking us to the dance in their Hummer—a treat indeed. It was shaping up to be one of the happiest days of my life. We hopped into the car, where Dinah's mom was already waiting, and drove off.

"I wonder how Sora's going to look like…" Selphie's mouth curved into a sheepish grin as she elbowed my stomach.

"Ow—" I said, "I don't know, Selphie. Would you please stop talking about Sora? He's probably going to end up dancing with some preppy girl."

"We never know, Kairi." Dinah said reassuringly, "Maybe he's been single up to this point because he's been looking for someone who isn't preppy—"

"Like Kairi." Selphie interrupted.

"Oh, shut up." I blushed.

"Girls, we're almost there," Dinah's mom stated, "do you have everything? Money? Cell phones?"

"Yes, mom." Dinah said. "Don't worry, mom."

"I know, I know." her mom smiled. "Well, here we are!" She said, pulling up to the gym. Obviously, the presence of a Hummer caused a little stir, but it wasn't like we were mobbed or anything. People just stared, but it made me feel… I dunno, exactly.

We went into the lobby-area of the gym first, to register our names and pay the entrance fee. Once we got in, it became more humid due to the sheer amount of people in the gym dancing in one clump of wild teenagers, and the presence of the colorful lights.

"Kairi, Selphie, Dinah, over here!" Yuffie called out to us as she waved her hand high up in the air enough for us to see. Once we pushed and lightly shoved our way through the thick crowd, we found her, with Leon's arms wrapped her waist and her hands on his arms. They swayed in perfect motion, I was almost envious.

"Oh!" Dinah shrieked softly. Selphie went off at that moment, saying something about some hot guy and stalking… I turned my attention to Dinah, who looked worried.

"What happened?" I asked her. A guy who was standing suspiciously behind her hurriedly walked off in another direction.

"Someone touched me…" she said under her breath. Tch. Perverts—there are some at every dance.

"Take it as a compliment, Dinah—trust me."

"And now—a request from an anonymousSimple and Clean by Utada Hikaru—dedicated to 'Sora, my love'." the DJ announced. Immediately, laughs could be heard. I could just imagine Sora looking down in embarrassment. Oh, the attention you get for being so good looking.

The song started playing. It was slow—obviously suggesting a slow dance. Dinah and I looked around for signs of Selphie, but she had probably stalked whoever was hot and was now dancing with them. I took Dinah's wrist in my hand and suggested we go to the lobby for some soda—seeing as we probably wouldn't get anyone to dance with at the moment. She agreed, and we left in a huff and ordered two glasses of orange sodas. A couple of other people were there as well; it made me feel rejected to be there in the first place. Simple and Clean was considered the love song.

Once some more upbeat music had started playing, Dinah and I decided to go back into the dance floor, seeing as the slow song was over.

"Kairi, wait up!" someone called out from behind. Who else would it be but Sora—the one that, subconsciously, I wished asked me to dance with him. Dinah gave me a small wave and left, leaving me alone with him. "Where were you?"

"Umm, here, obviously." I said, looking away. "How was the slow dance?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, I wasn't dancing."

"What?" I laughed, "You've got to be kidding me."

"Huh?"

"For one, it would signal the end of the world if no one was dancing with you. Come on, tell the truth."

"I am!" he said defending, "I wasn't…"

"And why not?"

"Because…" He looked away for a moment and then looked back at me straight in the eye, "I was looking for you."

I felt my heart skip a beat, "But you had a lot of people to dance with."

"Not really…" He said, scratching the back of his head. It was then I took in what he was wearing—a navy blue polar fleece and tan cargo pants. He looked gooood. "I mean, I guess those fangirls you were talking about found other people to dance with just so they wouldn't look like dopes, but when I passed by them and they saw I wasn't dancing with anyone, they got pissed and went, 'NO!' ".

"Hahahaha. So now you're saying I'm a dope because I didn't dance with anyone?" I laughed again. He smiled.

"I guess, yeah."

I playfully whacked his head, "You don't say that!"

"Well yeah but technically I'm saying that I'm a dope too—" he said but got pushed aside a bit when a girl stormed in and went right smack between the two of us.

"I can't believe it, damnit!" the girl said, banging her fist on the table. "He danced with her!"

"Man, Sora!" Tidus came in laughing, "You missed it!"

"Missed what?" Sora asked.

"Riku saw this girl who just walked in and danced with her, and all his fans were like 'NOOOOO!', in the Star Wars way, ya know? I think he's still dancing with her."

Sora broke into laughter, I couldn't help but chuckle at his funny expression, but it had looked more like I was laughing with him.

"Kairi, Kairi!" Selphie came in, waving to me frantically. I stopped laughing (though Sora was on the verge of falling on the floor and rolling) and turned to my friend.

"What's wrong?"

"You have to come with me, quick!" She took my wrist and pulled me out of the room. As I was exiting, I heard Sora call my name—but I didn't look back.

"It's Dinah," she shouted at me, as we entered the dance floor and the music was on really loud.

"What happened to Dinah? Did someone touch her again?" I looked around for signs of our raven-haired friend.

"No," Selphie shook her head, "wait—someone touched her?"

"Yeah, earlier," I said, still looking around, "when you went off."

"Oh. Well anyways—She's dancing!"

"Yeah, no surprise, this is a dance." I said. Then I realized how hypocritical I sounded. Duh, it's a dance—everyone dances at a dance! And yet there I was, not dancing.

"…with Riku."

My head instantly jerked towards Selphie, my eyes wide in shock, "Seriously? She's dancing with Riku?"

"Yeah! I came up, and I was talking to her, and then he comes up and just… takes her away! I don't know where she is," Selphie explained.

"Jeez," I looked around again, "I hope they're just dancing."

Selphie and I started pushing through the crowd, in hopes of finding our friend. We were both getting severely worried—if they weren't on the dance floor, where would they be? I knew Dinah wasn't the type to immediately start making out with someone after 10 minutes of knowing them, but I didn't know if Riku was either. Though if he was Sora's best friend, I doubt he'd be bad. We spent almost an hour looking for her on the dance floor and not dancing before we decided to see if she was in the lobby-area.

"Dinah!" Selphie cried out. I craned my head to the direction where Selphie was running, and there was Dinah.

"Guys! I thought I'd lost you," she said, hugging Selphie.

"We were out there looking for you forever," I said, relieved she didn't seem upset or anything, "did anything happen?"

"What are you guys talking about?" Dinah tilted her head in question, "Oh, you mean with Riku? Nothing. We just danced, and I told him I needed to find you guys and left."

"Nothing happened?"

"Nothing," Dinah raised an eyebrow, "what? Do you guys think he molested me or something?"

"Err," Selphie sputtered, "kinda… yeah. I mean, this is Riku we're talking about."

"Is he some kind of player, then?" Dinah said, "Because… he didn't seem that way."

"He might be using his charm to get you, Dinah."

"Come on, Selph." I intervened, "I'm sure Riku's… okay. I mean, he does hang with Sora lot, which means he can't be that bad."

"So basically hanging with Sora makes him good?" Selphie grinned.

"Well I dunno," I shrugged, "does Sora seem like he would hang with guys like that?"

"We don't really know much about them." Dinah said.

"…was it fun?" I blurted out. "Dancing, I mean. With a guy."

I hated to admit it, but I was jealous of Dinah. No one came up to me yet. It made me feel depressed, rejected, unwanted.

"I don't know, exactly." Dinah blinked, "It was just… you know, dancing. It didn't really help that I was receiving glares from half the people on the dance floor, but I guess it was fun. I was too busy thinking about finding you guys, though."

"Aww, you should've enjoyed yourself and let us find you." Selphie joked. Suddenly, the upbeat sound from the main gym ceased and a more mellow tone filled the air—another slow dance I had to spend unwillingly wasting my time in the lobby area, getting drunk on soda.

"Oh great, another slow dance." I sighed in defeat. I debated with myself whether or not I should go back to the dance floor. Going back there, I might humiliate myself by standing there, being the only one who didn't have someone to dance with. Staying here was equally as humiliating, because it did mean I didn't have someone to dance with, but at least I wasn't alone.

"I mean, uhh, you know… if no one else will, I can… you know."

"Okay. Agreed. It goes both ways okay, if you don't find anyone to dance with I will. Though I doubt it."

Doubt was an understatement. It was like I knew that he was dancing with someone.

"I'm gonna go find someone to dance with." Selphie said, waving goodbye to us in an instant and heading back to the dance floor. I kind of admired her for going there without thinking about what I did.

"Aren't you going in, Dinah? I mean, you have Riku. I'll wait for you guys."

"Ha, I have Riku? That's weird. He asked me to dance with him once, Kairi."

"But at least you know you could go back and dance with him."

She thought about it for a while, I could see it in her eyes. "But I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because then you'd be alone here."

"You don't have to, Dinah…"

"Oh well, I will."

It was the strangest feeling. I was sitting there, in the lobby area with Dinah, completely silent. There were a couple of other people there, as well. Had I really sunk so low? I felt this… annoying pain in my chest, like where my heart was. There was a feeling of yearning, of loneliness… of want.

I wanted him to dance with me.

But was I really expecting him to? Of course, I could be considered as being in a higher rank than most of those fangirls, seeing as I actually talk to him, but then there are still those drop-dead gorgeous girls who are way up there than I am. Dinah should be one of them, but somehow she managed to stay down here with the normal people-- with me, and Selphie…. and a few other people.

As the song faded out, the crowd roared as the DJ said thanks and goodbye—officially ending the dance.

Officially ending what I thought was going to be a whirlwind adventure that would bring me magic and I don't know… romance.

Selphie came back to the lobby, smiling like there was no tomorrow. I guessed right away she found someone to dance with. Dina, on the other hand, would have someone to dance with, only she didn't. While I… was an entirely different story. As we gathered all our belongings and waited for Dinah's mom to come pick us up (we were sleeping over at her house that night), I pondered on a thought that lingered in my head ever since the second slow dance started:

Did Sora find someone else to dance with?

As Dinah's mom pulled up in the driveway (she didn't take the Hummer this time), Dinah hopped in first, followed by Selphie, then by me. I had insisted on getting a window seat so I could look out as we drove home. I sat down, setting my purse down beside me, then looked out the window at the still-thick crowd of pubescent teenagers.

I saw him. I saw Sora. Our eyes met for a split second, but as Dinah's mom drove away, I could see the him disappearing into the distance.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I bent over in severe pain. Oh God, my period.

My mind was screaming out in pain. I felt like jumping out of the car—maybe getting run over hurt less than the pain I was experiencing that instant.

"Kairi, are you okay?" Dinah asked.

"Cramps?" Selphie added. I replied with a nod of my head.

"Oh." Dinah sat back.

"I have medicine for that, dear." Dinah's mom told me as she drove through the empty streets of late-night Destiny Islands. "I'll let you take it when we get home. It'll help."

"Th-thanks…" I muttered under my breath. The pain stopped momentarily, or rather, it subsided. It didn't completely go away, but now I felt sane, but not at the same time—because as I sat there, in complete and utter pain, I thought of something.

I wish Sora were here, to make the pain go away.

I wondered, if he were there with me then, what would he do?

let the darkness fade away