Okay, in this one, he isn't exactly lost; but there are others where he might be. XD
I dare you to read this and be able to look at the Jedi tree the same way...So far for me, it hasn't worked XD
A dark figure tiptoed carefully into the courtyard, an insane expression on his face with an unholy gleam in his eyes as he tried not to burst out loud with his worrisome condition.
I can't believe I'm about to do this. he grinned, even his thoughts squealing with delight.
The weather was starting to pick up, and it was pitch black; Midnight was always the perfect time for mischief. His destination was short white tree in the middle of the courtyard, its branches swaying in the breeze that was beginning to pick up. He paused, glancing around as he pulled a dark object out of his satchel. Glancing around once more, giggling almost uncontrollably, he flung the streamer-like thing into its branches. . .
''Most disturbing, this is.'' Jedi Master Yoda shook his head, ''Find the culprit, we must.''
The image on the holovid returned to the reporter.
''That was Jedi Master Yoda of the Jedi Council. Last night, it appears there was a sign of protest against the Jedi's involvement in the war. Inspector Divo, head of Coruscant Crime and Investigations, says, quote, 'Everything is going to be fine when the culprit is found. Check the security, and maybe you might find your problem.' end quote. The clone guard, who was in charge of the security cameras, insists that he saw nothing on the screen, but that leads to the question: 'when did this happen?' For now there is a small lead; however it is too vague to truly say to 'whodunnit'. A small note, written on a piece of shredded newspaper, says, open quote, 'Youngling was here.' end quote. and on the flipside, open quote, 'Jedi Temple rules!' smiley face, end quote. Yet, when questioned, the Jedi younglings denied having had any involvement in this act of vandalism. Work has already begun to restore the Jedi tree to its former glory; however, last nights rainstorm is making it extremely difficult for the workers.''
''This is disgraceful-''
''Jedi Master Mace Windu protests this rude act. This is what he had to say of the matter.''
''This is an insult to the very Jedi's core. The tree is a symbol of growth and beauty. To do such a rude act is a crime that is beyond imagination.''
''Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi, however, disagrees.''
''The tree is a symbol, yes, but, as you can see, it is unharmed; and, if one looks closely enough, one can see the humor in its situation.'''
''And it's about time!'' some one off screen cried. The camera whirled to show an old Corsian Jedi hobbling closer with his sword cane lightsaber in hand. ''No, it's not vandalism; You know what this means? It's taken four thousand years and we're finally popular! Thank the Maker; Hallelujah!''
''Who do you think was involved with this crime?'' the reporter asked.
On the screen, Obi-wan Kenobi glanced over his shoulder, a slight grin on his face. ''I believe I have my suspicions.''
Behind him, his former Padawan, Anakin Skywalker stood with his own Padawan Ahsoka Tano and grinned, patting his little AR-TOO unit on its cylinder. ''I'm sure this was all just a practical joke. Right, AR-TOO?'' When the camera switched back to the reporter, he and Ahsoka high-fived.
''While investigations continue, we must now decide: was this simply a prank? or a warning; and what did the criminal hope to gain? More on HoloNet News-''
Mason turned off the holovid and leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head.
''A couple of laughs? Bragging rights for when the Jedi aren't around, maybe?'' the clone trooper guessed.
''Now what they don't tell ya','' a voice from behind him said, ''is that there was also a message on the tree that said, 'All's good when I'm in the hood'.''
Mason grinned, wheeling around in his chair to face the speaker. ''Well, before we go onto the criminal's opinion, let's ask the viewing audience. So, Viper, what do you think of this mess?''
Viper sniffed. ''Really? You got me up at five in the morning to watch this? Who cares about one tree? There are plenty of them out there in the galaxy. Why bother?''
''Well politically, what do you think?''
Viper rubbed the back of his head. ''Honestly? I think people got problems. I mean,''-he nodded toward the screen-''Tree huggers; that proves it.''
''Well said,'' Mason nodded. ''We've heard Viper's thoughts; Now for the criminal himself on his own dastardly deeds.'' He turned to Dick, whom had been the one to have spoken earlier. ''So how's your first...ahem...felony?''
Dick's smile was a mile wide. ''It was awesome! I was giggling like a little Twi-lek the whole time.''
''The news said the tree looked terrible; do you agree?''
''Oh, yes! It was glorious! Before the rain, the toilet paper was flapping in the wind like the Separatist flag. Just about as pretty, too.''
''So you feel accomplished in having officially TPed the Jedi tree?'' Viper asked. ''Just asking in case they come here; then I'll know who to say did it.''
''Couldn't be better. Remind me that owe one to Mr. Security Guard Derek.''
''Figures,'' Viper huffed, ''He had been your roommate when you were junior cadets.''
''Yep. It helps having friends in high places.''
Suddenly though, Dick frowned.
''What's wrong?'' Mason asked, ''Guilty you led your friend to the dark side by aiding you in your crime?"
Dick made a face. ''No. but the problem is though. . .in order to stay awake long enough to get the job done, I had to drink a lot of the caf from downstairs. And then I used all the toilet paper in this bathroom and. . uh. . I got to go.''
The other troopers burst out laughing.
''That's your own fault,'' they said.
''Hey, that tree is bigger then it looks.''
Still laughing, Mason asked, ''So is this an emergency?''
Dick winced, ''Maybe.'' But as he turned to leave, he stopped and said, ''For what it was worth though, it was great to do it to the officer's tree too.''
Mason and Viper stopped laughing, their faces turning pale.
''Which 'commanders'?'' Viper added, leaning forward.
''Oh, all of them here at the moment.'' Dick smiled pleasantly.
''The one outside the barracks?'' Mason asked hopefully.
''No, of course not. I mean the one in the Commander's office.''
''Dick,'' Viper asked slowly, biting the inside of his lip, ''are you insane?''
''Nah,'' Dick winked, ''It just helps having friends in high places with the security...''
Commander Cody and Captain Rex passed the doorway, each still laughing about the Jedi tree and what happened. Cody sighed, leaning against the door after he closed it.
''Well, Commander,'' Rex grinned, ''Looks like Dick went through as promised; The mark he made was beautiful.''
''About as beautiful as the Separatist flag,'' he scoffed, ''The boy knew what he was doing. He used the commercial toilet paper so that it would be ten times harder to clean because of how thin it was.''
''Least he didn't do it to the tree in your office here,'' Rex grinned.
''Oh you mean the one that the Jedi put in there because they said the room was too much like a prison?''
''Yeah. After what the Jedi tree looked like, it would be a disaster if it happened to yours.''
They had ambled down the hallway till they arrived at the entrance to Cody's office; Rex opened the door. . .and stopped, an odd look on his face. Cody raised an eyebrow.
''What is it?''
Rex bit the inside of his lips, not answering. If he was honest with himself, part of him was inwardly laughing...the other half however...
Cody sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. ''Did he. . ?''
''Yep.''
Cody groaned, stepping inside. Sure enough, white streams of paper covered the tiny faux tree, wet from a small shower from a watering can that lay on the desk.
''Oh no he didn't. . .'' Cody growled.
''Oh yes he did.'' then suddenly, Rex started laughing, ''Hey! Now you have a statement that could get you into the main office to finally voice your complaints. And as I recall,'' he said, turning to the Commander, ''You never did like that tree did you?''
Commander Cody remained silent for a moment, his hands folded behind his back, then he smiled at the captain.
''Yes. You're right; I never did like that tree, but that was because you insisted the Jedi give it 'to the office building', was how you had said it.''
Rex's eyes widened, glancing around for anyone else in the room to turn to for help. ''Uh, I didn't tell you that.''
''Well,'' Cody continued, ''since you were so addiment in the tree's arrival, you get to be the one to clean it up.'' He patted the captain on the shoulder and left.
Rex stared at the micro tree in it's flower pot, wet, soggy toilet paper dripping drown the sides of its small leaves. ''Yeah,'' he croaked half-heartedly, ''Lucky me.''
La fin (French) the end
Okay, this was just a random story (that may or may not be partly true on a much lower scale) that kind of introduces Dick's general craziness...cuz he is. Don't know when the next one will be out. We'll have to see. :D
This is one of those earlier stories that I wrote...Eh, two years ago? Oh, and in explanation of that Jedi Master who was excited, that was my moms reaction. XD Apparently, a long time ago, if you were tped, it meant you were popular...
Anyway, thank you so much for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this! Later!
