When Megan woke up the next morning she was still in Drake and Josh's room. Luckily Josh was staying the weekend with a friend. Drake had somehow managed to get Megan onto the couch even through Megan was only about 6 inches shorter than Drake's 5'8" frame. Megan sat up, pulling her blanket all around her, and looked around to find Drake sitting on a chair, at his desk, bent over a paper scribbling furiously. Drake had been awake all night watching over his sister and trying to figure out what he was going to do. No answers were yet forthcoming and Drake felt pretty lost. Finally he had turned to writing, lyrics, and sometimes just thoughts, it was the only thing he could do to help sort things out for himself.
Drake chose that moment to glance over and check on his sister. When Drake saw Megan was awake he let the pen drop out of his hand. The two stared at each other for a few seconds. Both as a loss of what to say or do next; Drake slowly got up and walked over to the couch and sat down next to Megan.
Megan saw the many emotions play over her brother's face. Too many things passed through Drake's eyes to keep track of. Megan saw an expression of pain register there for a split second and she lowered his head in regret. The last thing Megan had wanted to do was hurt Drake. Drake caught Megan's look of grief and raised her head to meet his gaze.
"It will be okay. I promise you it will." Drake told his sister. Megan watched as Drake seemed to decide on something.
"Megan, you have to tell someone else about this too. You need to get help."
Megan cut him off.
"No!" Drake looked startled at Megan's sudden outburst. "You can't tell anyone. Everyone will be disappointed in me. I can't...I can't do that. Please, you have to keep this a secret. It was so hard to tell you. I can't tell anyone else, I can't."
"Megan, you need help that I can't give you. If you hadn't chickened out last night, I hate to think what would have happened." Drake hated having to remind Megan of what she had tried to do last night but it had to be done. Drake couldn't let Megan try something like that again.
"Please, Drake. I know what would have happened but I can't deal with everyone knowing. Please, I'm begging you. I won't ever do something that stupid again, please." Megan pleaded. Drake knew it wasn't the right thing to do but he couldn't help giving in to Megan.
"I couldn't deal with losing you and neither could anyone else." Drake silently swore to himself that if he got the slightest indication Megan would try this again he would tell Mom and Dad quicker than anything.
"I know. I do know that, now." Megan replied.
"Tell me what happened? What made you try...?" Drake trailed off, still not able to say the word.
"I..." Megan couldn't get any further than that. She was afraid to disappoint her big brother.
"Megan, tell me." Drake said gently yet firmly.
Megan's eyes welled with tears but he proceeded to tell Drake everything that had made her try to take her own life. The incredible stress she felt all day. School had recently started for the year and Megan was able to skip the fifth grade and move straight to the sixth grade advanced placement program. Her intellect compared to that of a college freshman so she was resented by every kid she met. Her friends resented her and felt left behind because they were still in elementary school and she was in middle school. Her new classmates resented her because she was younger than everyone but yet got better grades. She even felt pressure from her own parents. They found out she was eligible for admission to the San Diego School of Higher Learning, a prestigious college preparatory school for kids in grades 7 through 12. She spent what little free time she had working on her admissions packet for the school even though she really didn't want to attend. She went through more than anyone thought. But that wasn't everything, there was something missing. That something, that piece of her, had been lost and she didn't know how to find it again.
Drake attentively listened, offering words of comfort and when Megan seemed ready to break Drake placed a reassuring arm around her shoulders. That simple gesture of kindness seemed to give Megan strength.
When Megan finished she felt incredibly drained. All Drake could do to comfort her was pull his little sister into a hug.
