Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant
A/N: Finally- the chapter's written. I'm not totally happy with the way this turned out, but honestly I think that it's still pretty good. I hope so, at least. Right... Well! Thank you to everyone who's been reading this, and an even bigger THANK YOU to those who have reviewed. I guess that covers it; with no further delays, here's chapter 3! Enjoy!
Recipe for Success
(In Which Honda Gets no Respite, Cell Phones Get What's Coming to Them, and Much Zinging Abounds)
From Page 90 of "Better Baking for Burdened Businessmen"
How to Create the Perfect Batch of Match-Made-in-Heaven
-Ingredients:
-1 Boy, preferably teenaged, brilliant (having his own company adds a very pleasant zing to the taste), with brown hair, blue eyes, and an unhealthy amount of stubbornness. Add-in one adorable brother, wrap in a heavy trench coat, and keep on ice.
-1 Girl, friendly, opinionated, independent, hot-tempered, stubborn, loyal, with blue eyes, brown hair, and a devoted love of dancing. Season with three goofy friends, and keep at a boil.
Honda took a deep breath. Jounouchi and Yugi exchanged worried glances. He certainly had been acting oddly as of late. With great intrepidity, he reached for the handle of the door. Jounouchi raised an eyebrow.
"You Ok there, huh Honda?" he asked with the smallest hint of concern. Their group had always been prone to bouts of strangeness, but not often did they come without explanation.
"I just have to go in there, and learn. Go in there and learn." He didn't pay any attention to his friend's comments, choosing instead to mumble halfway-coherently to himself. "I'm just going to ignore her."
Jounouchi chuckled as the three friends ventured inside. "Looks like someone's a little nervous, huh Yugi?"
Yugi gave him a slight look of reprimand before rolling his eyes and laughing a little himself. "Well can you blame him? If I had a teacher who looked at me like she wanted to eat me, I'd be a little nervous too."
"Though really ladies and gentlemen, the class does add a certain zing to the day."
"What was that Jou?"
"Huh? I didn't say anything, Yug."
And so the three brave boys walked in and all took their seats.
As luck- and conveniently planned plot- would have it, the class was not nearly as boring as Jounouchi had initially feared. And except for a hefty workload (and vastly inappropriate behavior that continually unnerved poor Honda), the students all seemed to almost enjoy what they were learning.
Almost.
It was, after all, still school, and no student could ever overlook that. They still took tests- who the hell actually cared about the theories of capitalism?- and did worksheets- oh, such fun that was-, and listened to lectures (at least... she said they were lectures, but somehow that word didn't seem to fit), and even studied the country's finest businessmen (thanks in large part to a magazine whose sole purpose was to explore said businessmen's lives). The participants in the class, feeling it their sworn duty, did what any group of students would rightfully do. They talked; they threw things; they did all they could to make sure the teacher would leave that period with a splitting headache.
But that is the nature of such things, and it didn't bother their instructor quite as much as they hoped it would. Her lesson plan was detailed, and they were covering exactly what they should. All in all, the environment was as conducive to education as most parties involved felt it should be.
-Preparations:
After you have all the proper ingredients, it's time to start the pre-baking process.
1.) Pre-heat oven to 400° F.
2.) Take BOY off ice; he should be properly chilled. This is easily checked by the intensity of his glare- anywhere from frigid to glacial is more than sufficient.
3.) Remove 3-GOOFY-FRIENDS from GIRL. If left in too long, the recipe will be ruined.
"What?" Jounouchi yelled in disgust, holding his recently-returned paper aloft. "How the hell is this possible? I studied for like, what, twenty whole minutes for this damn test! How could I possibly fail?"
Yugi surreptitiously turned a paper with a red 90 on it face-down. "Come on Jounouchi; did you really expect to ace it?"
"Hell yeah, I did! This isn't fair."
Anzu eyed her own grade smugly. "Guess we all get what we deserve..."
"What- they finally realized that you've long been exceeding your mental capabilities?" Kaiba muttered.
"Oh shut the hell up," she hissed back at him. She glared at him scathingly before turning back to her friends. Jounouchi was still sulking, while Yugi kindly tried to console him.
"What'd you get on your test, Honda?" Anzu asked curiously, blatantly ignoring Jounouchi's (expected) protests to his mark.
Honda looked around nervously and said, "Oh, um, I did f-fine. Yeah, just fine."
She looked at him suspiciously; even Yugi and Jounouchi's interests were caught. Honda gulped and tried to put his paper in his bookbag- a most peculiar action, indeed... Jounouchi and Anzu exchanged most-mischievous glances, and with no warning... they pounced.
"Got it!" Jounouchi called proudly, waving Honda's paper like a victory flag. "Let's just see- betcha you did even worse than me." He glanced at the grade, and... "What! He got 100!"
Anzu gaped. "No way! How is that possible?" She snatched the paper from him almost viciously. Honda put his embarrassed face in his hands, and Yugi just calmly observed his... interesting group of friends. Suddenly, Anzu started chuckling. And chuckling. And, again, chuckling.
"I think I discovered how he did so well. Look." She gave the test paper to the other two boys to examine.
Written right by the impressive score was a note: 'Excellent job, Honda; such a studious young man. Call me some time if you ever need a little extra help. Believe me when I say I'd be more than happy to oblige.'
For a moment, there was silence.
"She actually put a phone number!" Jounouchi hooted, slapping his leg in amusement. "Whoo, boy, Honda, she wants you ba-ad."
Honda groaned in embarrassment. "I think I've noticed."
Yugi just tried to smile helpfully and said, "Hey, it could be worse. At least she's a woman, right?"
Anzu and Jounouchi snickered unmercifully, leaving poor Honda feeling more embarrassed than ever. In a last-ditch effort to save what little dignity he had, he exclaimed, "You're just jealous that I've actually got an... attractive (he just couldn't forget he was talking about a teacher) woman who's interested in me. I don't see either of you engaging in any form of romance, wanted or otherwise. And believe me, knowing that I can make her want me definitely adds a zing to my whole outlook."
"What was that last thing, Honda?"
"Huh? I said that I didn't see either of them having any admirers."
"Oh."
"Well," Anzu said, pouting, "It just so happens that you all scare off any potential love-interest! What sane guy would dare approach me, knowing he'd have to deal with you three knuckleheads?"
"No sane guy would approach you at all," a quiet voice sneered behind her.
"Shut up, Kaiba!" she said angrily, imaginary tendrils of steam threatening to ooze from her ears.
"Not our fault we're so intimidating," Jounouchi announced proudly, head raised a little higher.
"Hey idiot," Honda said, looking annoyed, "That's not what Anzu mean; she wasn't giving you a compliment."
"Yeah well... she wasn't complimenting you either!"
"I know, dumbass!"
The two continued their bickering, as Yugi and Anzu looked on in indifference. They had become much too used to it for it to bother them. (And if things got too bad, they could always hide their faces behind their books.)
Yugi sighed. "At least you can always count on those two to put a certain zing in any conversation."
"What was that, Yugi?"
"Nothing, Anzu."
-Baking Instructions:
Submerge both BOY and GIRL together in a pot of heated rivalry. Bring to a boil, and gradually stir in 1/4 cup of initial attraction. After 15 minutes, drain. In a separate bowl, mix together 2 cups of hormones, ½ cup of stubbornness, 1 tablespoon of desire, a pinch of sugar, and ½ teaspoon of lust to get a hearty topping of sexual tension. Make noodles from guilt and layer them with inappropriateness in a 10 X 10 pan. Next, place BOY and GIRL in. Sprinkle on a dash of heated glances, and a healthy bit of physically pleasing. Add water if too dry. Slowly ladle on sauce- sexual tension- and place in oven. Do not allow to get too hot, or things could burn. Bake for 1 hour. Remove from oven; best if kept warm. Season to taste.
After-school. Besides after-work, it was Seto's favorite time of day. He walked briskly down the sidewalk, headed intently toward his destination. Which happened to be a quick interlude at his favorite coffee-house before another toiling day at the office. What a life- he already felt forty.
His cell-phone rang shrilly, alerting him to a business call. With a quick roll of his eyes, he answered it.
"Kaiba. Speak."
"Yes, Mr. Kaiba, this is Gai Myojin, head of your PR department. As I'm sure you know, the-"
Seto rolled his eyes, his attention shifting away the phone call. He didn't feel like dealing with the stupid man, at least not until it was required of him. Luckily, he saw his refuge approaching, that warm, dark lair of brewed beverages he longed for and needed. Still ignoring Myojin, he stepped inside.
The man on the phone kept babbling on and on about something, sounding more idiotic by the moment. Seto was not in the mood to listen. But, as Myojin could tell you with full authority, Seto was NEVER in the mood to listen. The information he was trying to relay, however, was rather important, and the young CEO needed to pay attention. But as that was certainly never going to happen, the very least he felt he could do was try. And perhaps take advantage of the situation.
Seto growled to himself as he picked his way through the crowd. He had dropped all pretenses of even listening to his cell, holding it by his side instead of at his ear. All he wanted was coffee- why did those stupid people have to make what should be a simple task so damn difficult? He might have to up his caffeine intake. Something iced sounded tempting. And maybe vanilla...
"Mr. Kaiba! Mr. Kaiba!" a voice screeched at him. "Are you listening to me?"
Seto exhaled in frustration. "I... Yes, you fool. Now continue."
Unfortunately, it seemed that certain others liked to frequent that location as well.
Seto was jolted to the side as a body collided into him. "Oh sorry," the girl said. "I wasn't watching where I was going, I-" she looked up. "Oh. It's only you, Kaiba. Whatever."
"Stay the hell out of my way, Mazaki," he snarled.
She glared. "Sorry, I said; it was an accident."
He met her glare with one of his own. "I-" Once again, however, his verbal abuse was interrupted by a squawking on his cell. "Why are you bothering me?" he growled into the phone.
"This is very important, Mr. Kaiba. I realize that you may be in the middle of something now, but if you would please just listen for a moment, I-"
"I could get your coffee if you want," Anzu said brightly. "You probably need to take your call."
Seto glowered, weighing the options. With a sigh of annoyance and resignation, he fished some money out of his pocket. Putting it- with more force than necessary- in the smiling girl's hand and snarling out what he wanted, he turned away from her, and tried to focus on the conversation.
Unfortunately, both- intensely annoying- voices hit him at once.
"For the good of the company-"
"-vanilla, right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"I'm glad you finally realize how important this is. So I have your full permission to agree?"
"No!"
"Um... you don't want vanilla?"
Seto had to refrain from smacking his forehead. "Yes; I want the damn vanilla."
Her eyebrows raised. "Well sorry. Rude bastard..."
"Mr. Kaiba? What do you mean... 'Vanilla'? Is that one of your stipulations? Because really, they're willing to go a long way to get the interview. You-"
"Is tall Ok?"
"It's fine."
"So I can go ahead and give them the Ok?"
"And did you want it iced?"
He sighed in frustration. "Yes..." She had to make it so much more difficult than it had to be. He then noticed that fool on the phone was still blubbering on. "Look, I have to go. Just... take care of whatever it is, and contact me later. Goodbye."
He snapped the phone shut and looked at it in disgust. With a huge sense of satisfaction, he deftly tossed it into a nearby waste receptacle.
Anzu sprang up next to him, holding a plastic cup- with a savory-scented liquid inside- in her left hand. She handed it to him without fuss.
He glared suspiciously. "Didn't I have any change?"
She winked and took a rather flamboyantly obvious sip from her own cup. "Nope."
And as she sauntered out the door- leaving a bewildered Kaiba in her wake- the only word that went through his head was a well-deserved...
'Zing.'
End A/N: Well... That was interesting, wasn't it? This is longer than the other too chapters, and... what's this? (gasp) I think I see a plot forming! Yes, finally the plot begins to take shape. So... I hope everyone liked this chapter. Don't forget to review- it means so much to me when you do. And this time I'll almost certainly remember to reply. (grin)
