Chapter 14 "Trust so Fragile"

"Jessie, calm down baby." Fin said laughing. She'd been fidgeting nervously ever since they left the apartment building.

"I'm afraid there just gonna know. Like, we're gonna smell like sex or something." Jessie muttered while popping her knuckles. Fin reached over for her hand and kissed her palm.

"It's a good thing we took a shower this morning." Fin replied.

"Fin, we had sex in the shower!"

"What's your point?"

Jessie and Fin shared a fleeting kiss in the elevator before entering the squad room.

"You're late." John said as they sat down at their desks. Jessie glanced over at John.

"Bite me." She said smiling. John chuckled and rose from his chair.

"You two look relaxed." John pointed out accusingly. It was true. Both Jessie and Fin were comfortably leaned back in their chairs, Fin's arms resting behind his head, and Jessie's feet propped up on her desk.

"We slept well." Jessie replied coolly. John walked past her and patted the top of her head.

"Yeah, uh-huh, right. Save that bull for Elliot, k? I know you two better than that." And with that John poured a cup of his morning tea and didn't say anything further on the matter.

A few minutes later Elliot emerged from the captain's office and made his way over to Jessie.

"Hey sweetie." He bent down and kissed the top of her head and handed her a case file. "His name is Jerry Sutherland, he's nuts, and he's all yours." Elliot walked off, leaving Jessie to mull over the file.

The next few months went by quickly. Jessie went back to the doctor and was told she was all healed up, so she was taken off desk duty. This was a blessing and a curse for Jessie. She couldn't use her ribs as an excuse not to be intimate with Elliot.

Jessie hardly even told Elliot that she loved him anymore. How could she when she wasn't sure if it was true? Elliot chalked it up to the stress of the job. In the past few months the five detectives worked several stressful cases that caused them all to pull a few all niters. Jessie slept in the crib for the first time but she quickly realized that she would rather sleep at her desk. The mattresses were lumpy and smelled of an odd mixture of must and Lysol.

Jessie began going out on more cases and working closer with Fin and John. It wasn't only because it was a way for her and Fin to spend some time together but she enjoyed working with them. She felt like she connected well on a personal and professional level with John and Fin more so than with Elliot and Olivia.

Jessie worked on the streets with the undesirables for so long that her way of getting things done was very different from Elliot and Olivia so she usually just stuck with John and Fin.

Jessie was also getting to know Fin well. They would sneak up onto the roof of the precinct and talk about their lives. They confided in one another, shared their fears, and their hopes for the future. Jessie and Fin made the most of these rooftop rendezvous because they came few and too far between for their liking. They could only go when they knew they wouldn't be missed and that wasn't often.

It usually ended with John calling one of their cell phones and telling them that someone was looking for them. John was thrilled to see that everything was going according to his plans. If things kept progressing he would have the bet won!

Fin and Jessie did speak quite often about where their covert relationship could possibly go. Jessie suggested just telling the truth but they both knew that wasn't going to cut it. Any scenario that they could think of always ended in disaster so they decided to wait it out until an opportunity presented itself.

Jessie was hoping that it would be soon. The deceit was really getting to her. Jessie hated lying and going behind everyone's backs. Elliot had been so good to her! Hell, when she was gonna sleep in the freaking station he offered her a home! And here she was, going behind his back with another man!

Jessie knew it was wrong but she couldn't help herself. She felt like she was falling in love with Fin but she couldn't be sure. She just didn't know if it was possible to love two people at once… and if she did, how was she supposed to make that choice? How could she choose between the two?

Jessie was walking down the hallway going toward the squad room when strong arms grabbed her from the side and pulled her into a supply closet. She started to yell and make a wild swing till she heard Fin's voice laugh and tell her to calm down.

"You jackass!" Jessie said and swatted Fin in the chest. Fin grinned and leaned in to give Jessie a tender kiss. Jessie was content there in Fin's arms…till she took a deep breath.

"This is what we're reduced to! Stealing moments in a closet that smells like dirty mop water!" Jessie exclaimed, pulled away from Fin, and ran a hand through her hair.

Fin's brown crinkled and he tried to reach out for her but she shrugged him away.

"Baby what's wrong?" Fin asked. She turned her back to him. He ran a hand through her hair and touched her shoulder. Jessie took a deep breath and turned back to him.

"I can't keep this up. The lies are killin me Fin." Jessie said, her voice cracking with emotion. Fin felt his stomach knot up.

"Do you not want to see me anymore?" Fin asked, taking a gulp of air, preparing for the blow he assumed was coming. Fin was in love with Jessie. He'd known that well before Valentine's Day. Fin had never told Jessie so and she'd never told him if she loved him but Fin was sure she knew. He loved her and of course he wanted to still see her, even in secret, but he could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke his heart. He didn't want to be the source of her pain.

"Fin no! I mean yes, I still want to see you!" Fin let out the breath he'd been holding. "But we have to tell Elliot soon." Jessie added.

"You know that's gonna get ugly." Fin reminded her.

"Ob, I know… but we can't keep this up much longer." Jessie began to pace. "I cheated on Elliot! The man gave me a home! Someone you've known for years! Don't you feel just a little bit bad?" Fin grabbed Jessie by the shoulders to stop her pacing. He touched her cheeks gently till she would look at him.

"You make it sound dirty." He said.

"Dishonestly is dirty." Jessie whispered.

"Jessie, we made love. No, I don't like lying and I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I'm not gonna apologize for making love to you or for how I feel about you." Fin said with a sense of finality in his voice.

Jessie smiled. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life." Jessie muttered. She wasn't used to words of endearment. She'd never been one for showing much emotion and Fin knew this. He knew it took a lot for her to voice her feelings and that made the words mean all the more.

"I was gonna say the same thing." He murmured and pulled her into a kiss.

A few minutes later they walked into the squad room together as if nothing had happened. They were laughing about something or another till Jessie saw Elliot sitting on the edge of her desk…reading the card Fin had given her at Christmas time.

"Uh-oh." Fin said under his breath. Jessie didn't move. All the muscles in her body tensed up as anger filled her body.

Whenever Jessie was in a bad situation she tended to get angry. Okay, whenever Jessie as in any situation her first reaction was anger. Where most people would cry Jessie would just get pissed off. Her instinct told her to get mad and that had often gotten her into trouble.

Elliot put the card down and calmly looked up. John was sitting tensely at his desk. He looked over at Olivia and cocked his head toward Cragen's office. Olivia understood and rose slowly from her desk and went into Don's office.

"You need to get out here." Olivia said urgently. Don rose from his seat.

"What's going on?" He asked, walking around his desk.

"I think Elliot and Fin are about to at it."

"Cause of Jessie?" Don asked with a sigh. Olivia nodded. Don shook his head and followed Olivia out his door. Anyone with eyes could see how Fin looked at Jessie and vise versa. Don wasn't surprised that Elliot had finally wised up; he knew it was just a matter of time.

Olivia and Don came out in time to see Jessie march over and snatch the card off her desk.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Who gave you permission to go through my desk?" Jessie yelled, whacking Elliot on the side of his head with the card. Elliot stood up stiffly, never taking his eyes off Fin. Fin was standing close to Olivia and the captain, glaring hard at Elliot, just daring him to make a move.

John stood up and walked over to Don.

"Maybe we should get Elliot's gun." He suggested. Olivia looked over her shoulder to Elliot's desk.

"It's on his desk." She said. Fin reached into his jacket and handed his gun to John without a word.

"I was looking for some paperwork on the Sutherland case and I found that." Elliot took a step for Fin but Jessie shoved him back.

"Don't even think about it. Fin ain't done nothin wrong. You got been with anyone its me." Jessie said heatedly. Don knew he should step in but it was somewhat late and they were the only six in the office, so if they were going to clear the air he wanted it in a controlled environment where they wouldn't get arrested.

"Why'd you hide the card from me?" Elliot asked, glaring down at her.

"Because I knew you'd act exactly like this!" She fired back.

"Is there something going on between you and Fin?" Elliot asked in an accusatory manner.

Jessie knew this was her chance to come clean, but as soon as she was about to open her mouth, she looked into Elliot's eyes and knew she couldn't do it. She couldn't crush him like that… plus, he would possibly try to kick Fin's ass!

"You're such an asshole Elliot." Jessie turned to walk away but Elliot grabbed her arm. That was when Fin stepped up.

"That's enough Elliot!" Fin shouted.

"Fuck you!" Elliot said and dropped Jessie's arm.

"You ever grab me like that again you better be prepared to lose that arm." Jessie growled. Elliot glared down at her.

"Answer my question!" He shouted. "You screwin him? Are you just another stupid slut!"

Before Don or John could grab him Fin started for Elliot.

"Don't even step to her like that man. You know she ain't no slut!" Fin yelled. Elliot stepped up to Fin till they were toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye.

"You bangin my girlfriend? Go ahead, admit it. Be a man." Elliot said, his voice low and threatening.

"It was just a card." Fin said.

"Bull shit!" Elliot yelled. Jessie tried to grab Elliot but she was too late. He took a swing at Fin but Fin ducked and landed a hard right to Elliot's jaw. He staggered back and Jessie grabbed his shoulder.

Jessie was a strong woman but not strong enough for a pissed off ex-Marine. Elliot jerked away and went for Fin, who was being held back by Don and John. He stopped when he saw John let go of Fin and rush past him.

Elliot turned and saw John picking Jessie up off the floor slowly. Fear nearly paralyzed him.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" Elliot stammered.

Jessie got to her feet and was more embarrassed than anything. She'd gotten thrown off balance when Elliot jerked his arm and had tripped over her own feet. She didn't have time to break her fall with her arms and hit the floor face first. She hit the floor hard enough that it had knocked her loopy for a few seconds and had made the room spin.

"You're bleeding." John said. Jessie touched her face and ran a hand across her left eyebrow and it stung. She'd cut herself along her brow line when she fell on it. She winced and muttered something about being incurably clumsy and let John lead her over to his desk. Don waited for Fin to relax before letting him go.

Elliot stood up straight, his hands on his hips, breathing hard. He rubbed his sore jaw.

"Nice right hook." He muttered. Fin almost laughed. "I'm sorry man." Elliot said to Fin. "I over reacted." Fin nodded. The guys shook hands.

"That was too easy." Don whispered to Olivia. "Something else has got to happen."

They walked over to take a look at Jessie's head. Elliot was hovering around her, telling her over and over how sorry he was. She got aggravated and shoved him away.

"I fell on my own! My fault! Stop touching me!" She yelled. John and Elliot held up their hands and back away slowly, leaving Jessie sitting in John's chair. Don laughed.

Fin dare go near her in fear of causing more trouble. It hurt him to not be able to try to take some of the pain away. He hated seeing her hurt. Why hadn't she just told Elliot the truth?

Fin filled a zip lock bag full of ice and handed it to Jessie.

"Does it look like I need stitches? Gosh, I'm so freaking clumsy!" Jessie asked frustrated. Fin glanced at the cut and shook his head.

"Just a scratch." He said and walked over to his desk. Jessie wanted to call out to him. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She should of just told Elliot the truth! She felt horrible. This is enough, she thought and stood up.

"Elliot," She sighed. "We need to talk." Fin jerked his head toward her. She's gonna do it, he thought excitedly!

As she rounded John's desk she got a little dizzy. She steadied herself on John's desk, accidentally knocking a piece of paper off his desk. Elliot rushed to her side and held her up by her elbow. She smiled. Elliot bent down and picked up the piece of paper, glancing down to see if it was something important.

"Elliot, no!" John yelled and nearly ran forward when he realized what piece of paper Elliot had picked up. But it was too late. Elliot had found John and Olivia's contract for the bet.

Elliot looked over at Olivia in shock and handed the paper to Jessie. She read the contract and thought that she might just faint.

"Fin, come here." Elliot said. Fin motioned for Olivia and Don. Don may be trying to hold Fin, Elliot, and Jessie off Olivia and himself.

Fin looked at the paper and then looked at John as if looking at a stranger. John had pushed him and pushed him to make a move on Jessie. He'd been the one who convinced everyone to give them "privacy" on Christmas Eve. John even played look out for the two! John had pushed Fin to act on his feelings. If he hadn't of Fin would of never crossed the line to try to take another mans girl.

"Elliot, let me explain…" Olivia tried but was cut off by a wave of Elliot's hand.

"Did you know about this?" Jessie asked Fin.

Jessie felt like her whole world had come crashing down. Since the first day she'd arrived she'd been a pawn in a plot for Olivia and John to find their partner's a girlfriend. Fin glared at Jessie.

"Hell no! You think I'd do that to you!" Jessie just shook her head and stood up.

"You," Jessie pointed at John. "You used me." Her voice shook with anger.

"No! It wasn't like that!" John stepped toward Jessie.

"I was just the stupid ignorant country girl who wouldn't know any better than to fall for the first person to pay any attention to me, huh?" She screamed. John sighed. What could he say? Isn't that what he'd hoped for?

"Jessie, I'm so sorry. Its not like that anymore."

"I trusted you!" John looked at the ground.

"You trusted him? He's my best friend! How you think I feel?" Fin yelled.

Don read the contract and sighed. "You two are idiots." He said.

Elliot had remained silent through the ordeal. He couldn't wrap his mind around Olivia playing on his vulnerability to win money. Olivia knew how hard Elliot had taken his divorce better than anyone! She knew if she pushed him just a little that he would fall in love all too easily because he was basically starved for companionship.

Jessie looked over her shoulder to Elliot. He looked so hurt and betrayed. She'd been used by total strangers…Fin and Elliot had been used by the people they knew. The people they'd grown to love and trust with their lives every day! And Jessie had grown to love and trust them too. And in turn Jessie betrayed the man she was supposed to love most of all because John wanted to earn a quick buck. She knew Fin would of never acted on any feelings unless John had pushed him. Hell, maybe John even pushed the feelings on him…

Before Jessie could stop herself she slapped John so hard that his face jerked to the side. Jessie then turned and quickly left the room and practically ran down the hallway.

Elliot turned and went the opposite way of Jessie. He really just wanted to be alone. Fin ran after Jessie when Elliot had left the room, leaving Don, John, and Olivia alone in the squad room. John's cheek was throbbing and Olivia was on the verge of tears.

Don sighed heavily and bawled up the contract that he was still holding. "I hope you two realize what you've done." He said, his anger apparent. He went into his office and slammed the door behind him, silently praying that this wouldn't cause the complete destruction of his squad.

"How are we gonna fix this?" Olivia asked John, half sobbing. He put an arm around her and let her cry into his chest.

"Liv, I don't think we can this time."

Jessie walked down the hallway, not really knowing where the hell she was going. She wanted as far away from John and Olivia as she could possibly get. She heard footsteps running up behind her.

"Elliot, baby, I love you more than anything, but right now you need to give me some space." Jessie turned around to see that it wasn't Elliot.

Fin stopped cold in his tracks when he heard what Jessie had just said. "I knew better than this shit." He muttered, turned around, and started walking the way he'd came.

"Stop!" Jessie said. He kept walking. "Fin, please!" Jessie pleaded. He stopped and stopped there while Jessie ran to catch up to him. Jessie stood in front of him, willing him to look at her.

"Fin, I thought you were…"

"Yeah, I know what you thought!" He snapped.

"Please don't be like this." Jessie was on the verge of tears but she pushed them back, but not before Fin saw the water in her eyes.

"You can't even show emotion even when you think I'm gonna leave you." Fin said coldly.

"I don't cry." Jessie said, narrowing her eyes, her voice hard as stone.

"Tell me you love me." Jessie looked at him in shock. She hadn't expected this… "Go ahead! You be the first to say it! If you love me then just say it!" Fin said, his voice rising.

Jessie opened her mouth and found no words would come out. She tried but she just couldn't. Everyone was so angry and hurt… how could she just further her betrayal? Wouldn't telling another man that she loved him be the ultimate betrayal to Elliot?

"That's what I thought." Fin pushed past Jessie and walked away from her, leaving her leaned against the wall. Her knees buckled and she slid down the wall and pulled her knees up to her chin. She felt like she'd just let the best thing to ever happen to her just walk away… but she still couldn't cry.

Elliot found her there on the floor almost thirty minutes later. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her. They sat on that cold floor for over an hour just holding one another and being together. Jessie treasured Elliot at that moment. She kept whispering to him how sorry she was. Elliot thought she meant about the card. He had no idea…. Elliot was all that Jessie had left. She wasn't about to let him go.

Authors Note:'( how sad! I know, everyones going to throw things at me. Well, this is one of the last chapters folks. I think we have about three more to go after this so I would totally appreciate your support and reviews! Love ya'll-Ali