Satorisama- Wow, I pumped this chapter out in record timing. This is sort of a transitional chapter. I have this idea for the next few chapters, but I had to find a way to link the first two parts to together... and this is what was created (points fingers towards paragraphs below).
Adressing Reveiwers—
Spork: Thanks for telling me you liked the songfic, I wasn't quite sure how it would turn out. Should I do another one or what? Tell me!!! Cookies are always good, so... yeah... um, that was random...
Kitsune Kit: THANKS!!! Thank you for: a) reading and reviewing; b) calling me intelligent (not many people do that); c)giving me constructive criticism (I hate Mary sues... I think I'm going to start a campaign against them...); d) saying I put the main guys in character, and even the non main guys; ok, I'm working on the whole Daja too strong or something thing. I kind of got your point about that. Anyway, and about the Tamora Pierce thing, yes the original name idea came from her. BUT I am doing something cool with Daja's name later (at least I think I am) so its kinda not taken from that, but it sorta is. Yukina, and Shizuru will definitely make an appearance soon, but um I'm not sure as to when Genkai will, so you'll just have to wait and see. Thank you for reviewing!!
Chapter 12—Defective
Daja: I lean over the side of the huge railing of the balcony overlooking the cubicles of the ogres Koenma has recruited for help in the organization of the chaos I personally like to call Spirit World, and I sigh letting my hair falls naturally over my shoulders. After rubbing my eyes to get the remnants of lasts nights application of black liquid eyeliner out from under my eyes, I groan as I realize that I am going to have to do so much work today, and the fact that I have a mild hangover from last night doesn't seem to be helping. The fact that I have once again turned to alcohol as a way to escape from the world's hurting ways is also bothering me, for I thought I had kicked the habit for good. They say 'Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. You can never quit, but you can be sober.'
As I rub my head to try to get rid of the already dulling headache I've had since I woke up this morning, I see the truth in this maxim for the first time since it was originally said to me by Damien when he poured out the flask of whiskey I had been drinking from just moments before to celebrate the first victory of us as a team.
I suck in my breath and wait for the sharp pain of that memory to hit me head on, and I let my breath go when I realize that it doesn't hurt that much anymore to think of Damien or Willow or Evander or Archimedes. Perhaps Hiei was right, maybe I should just move on and forget the past so that I won't be weakened any further than I already am by allowing myself to care—however minuscule that care might be—for the detectives welfare.
I lay my chin down to rest slightly on my hands. I could use a drink...
"You look as if you could use a vacation, Daja."
I turn ever so slightly to the left and watch as Koenma approaches me in his adolescent form. "I don't think so," I mutter as I stand up to salute Koenma with my customary half curtsy/ half bow that he has come to realize is a way for me to show respect to those I consider respectable. And seeing as I will only bow before him, I guess must think himself very respectable.
"I think that that would be best, seeing as you haven't been to work in three days, and you haven't been doing the best job of filing papers either. Perhaps it is best if you o take a day or two off, the transition between a spirit detective and a desk worker is very hard."
I give him a doubtful look, and Koenma looks pensive for a minute.
Fearing this pensiveness, I give it my best shot at trying to convince Koenma that I'm okay, and that I don't need any help. I have been told in the past that I am too prideful for my own good, and that someday it will be my downfall. Again, I wonder if that will really happen. Nah, I can't fall down any farther today. "Koenma, I can work harder."
Koenma motions for me to follow him downstairs towards his office.
Behind my ear I tuck a stray strand of hair that must have come undone from the single braid I now plait my hair into every morning. I have also highlighted, my hair, sort of with a deep red that reminds me of a pool of scarlet colored blood, or perhaps Hiei's crimson eyes.
I blink. Where in all hells did that come from? Hiei's crimson eyes?
I really need a drink if thoughts like that are coming to me for no apparent reason.
"Daja, I've been thinking about your situation, and I've come to a conclusion."
Bracing myself for the worst, I stay silent wondering if that will help me and my situation at all, or if I should advocate me working harder again.
"You will go to the human world with Botan tomorrow, and spend some vacation time with the detectives."
Shocked, I can only watch in a stunned horror as Koenma calls Botan on her pocket communicator from the giant screen and electronic system in his office.
Botan's face appears on the huge television screen with a click. "Bingo, this is Botan here. What do you need me to do for you Koenma sir?"
Koenma continues to arrange for me to venture into the human world and see all the detectives for some non-work related business. I try to fight this verdict on my life, and I find that I cannot. Something is holding me back from arguing my point of view any further. I can only drop my head in defeat at the inevitability of this situation. I have stayed away from the detectives for the past six months in order to protect both them from my enemies, and myself from assaults by my own mind. But now I realize, that I have missed their easy presence in my life. Perhaps it would not be so bad to go visit them, catch up on what each other has been doing in the past six months. Like Damien and I used to do with our family. The pain isn't all consuming anymore...
"Daja, before you go, can I talk to you about the situation about your spirit energy?"
I look up in amazement at Koenma who is again bringing up a situation I had not wanted to face ever again. I can survive on just my swordsmanship, so why does everyone insist on bringing up the topic I would rather we just all forget. I don't want to remember... but... I can't escape my past...
"Have you had success in that area since the battle with Sensou?" Koenma probes lightly, sitting down behind his desk and returning to his toddler form.
I nervously rub my wrists lightly in thought as I try to come up with an answer to Koenma's question without giving away too much of my dark past.
"No." I begin wetting my lips before I continue. "I haven't been able to tap into the power I unleashed at Sensou since that time." Figuring this is a good enough answer for Koenma, I begin to excuse myself from his presence. What Koenma doesn't know won't hurt him, I reason as I again tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
"Daja, I would like to see you perform some of the exercises I taught you about spirit energy manipulation."
I sigh, and I begin to gather all the spirit energy to try to channel out of my fingertips like Yusuke does when he launches his spirit gun. As I expected, the energy stops at my wrists, leaving my hands devoid of any energy whatsoever, and leaving a very disappointed Koenma to only contemplate why I cannot channel spirit energy out of my hands, or the rest of my body for that matter.
Koenma sighs and rubs his chin in thought. "I don't see why you can't channel spirit energy through your hands any longer. It's as if it has been blocked off and sealed into your body. If I didn't know any better, I would even go as far as to say you have been warded."
I look away, thanking the gods that Koenma doesn't know any better. "Koenma, since I now must change my schedule to accompany Botan to the human world, may I go and pack things I might need for the trip."
Koenma nods and bestows upon me the pleasure of parting words of wisdom. "Don't do anything that's against the law, and continue to practice those energy manipulation exercises. I want to see some improvement in that area by the time you come back. I don't expect you to be up to Yusuke's level, but I do want to see you using spirit energy outside your body."
"I understand." I bow and leave Koenma's office feeling very disappointed. I don't know why I am disappointed, and it really doesn't matter. I look at my wrists as I wait for an elevator to take me up to the dormitory wing of the palace where I currently call a one bedroom apartment my home.
I look at my hands and after a second, I shove them into the pockets of my pants in disgust.
"Here goes nothing." I spit reluctantly as I push the button that will tell the elevator to take me to the fourth floor. Stepping out, I walk down the hall and think about my life, this time from the real beginning, not just since Damien and the others entered my life and proved that I could care for others.
A memory of cold, a gentle white light, and a being with an incredible warmth holding me tightly to her, then a deep, chilling wetness and deep darkness fills my mind. The wind from the fall still plays lightly with the cropped, light colored mop of hair that adorns my head—it was so light, that many remarked it looked silver until I matured and became a thief, then it became this muddy brown, a sign of my change in status. The pain in my wrists burns as the final letters of the fiery, red script fades from my tan skin, leaving no sign of her doubt in me as a faithful member of the clan behind. Only I know that its still there, that single line of writing, under the many layers of flesh and scored into the bone to forever stay with me until my death as a reminder of the fact I am a bastard child. I had been but a defenseless infant, yet she still had the nerve to throw me away like some weaker species that she could kill without regret. I had been betrayed by the one who I had been taught to love as a fundamental truth of life. I had become useless, unwanted, a burden to her... I had become one of those that were never to return to the land of my matriarch, I was one of the exiled...
One rational thought fills my mind as I open the door to my rooms and immediately walk to my well-stocked liquorcabinet to get a shot of vodka. The thought is all encompassing, comforting, a single stability on which I built my life previous to meeting Damien, and it forces me to down a few shots before I start to pack so I will be ready to leave when Botan gets back to Spirit World from ferrying dead people to the afterlife.
"I will not forgive her for what she has done to me... " And I throw the crystal shot glass at the wall, watching as it smashes into a thousand of pieces that gather on the hard wood flooring.
"I will not forgive...her..."
I look at my hands, tighten them into fists, and slam one into the wall, creating a single, small dent where my fist came into contact with the painted and plastered drywall. I pull back my hand and hold it protectively against my chest with the other, as if somehow it were only a temporary injury that could be healed one day, one that would only leave a scar behind to remind me of my suffering, one like many of the injuries that have littered my body through out all the years of my profession of being a thief.
I shed a single tear in desolation and the helplessness of it all...
"After all, she was the one who made me defective... "
Satorisama- sort of an abstract chapter, Daja is returning to old habits. Can she forgive and forget as Hiei said too? Will her vacation be what she needs it to be?
(Weatherman voice) The next few days are going to be full of early fall REVIEWS and the temperature is going to stay steady for the next few days...blah blah blah, toxic waste... back to your normal news programming.
