Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant
A/N: WHOO! This didn't come quite as soon as my other updates, but I think that it will be good all the same. (Well...let's just say that I'm hoping.) I really appreciate all of you who've taken the time to review this story; it helps me know what readers like, and it keeps my spirits high enough to keep writing! I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter- it's crazy, and was a total blast to write. I was planning to finish tomorrow, but... Well, why do homework when you can write fan-fiction? Alright, I'm shutting up. Read and enjoy, ladies and gents!
Money Isn't Everything (He's Really Loaded)
(In Which Anzu Drools and Jounouchi's Eyes Burn)
And Now... Introducing the Bargain of the Century!
Are you sad? Are you lonely? Are you tired of strange cloaked men with plans for world-domination always asking you for a duel? Life can be so dull– so dreary! Are you ready for a change? Ready to earn more money? Ready to be in better health? Are you ready for an adventure that will have your head spinning and your moods lifting to unimaginable heights? If so, then we have the product for you!
Introducing the new... KAIBA!
School. Had a building ever looked so forbidding? So ominous? Rife with an odious air, it stood large and proud, towering over the sidewalk in a nefarious show of complacent... evil.
Surely it was once a nice building. It was reasonably well-made, and seemed– outwardly, at least– innocent enough. Was it the mere fact that it was a school that made it seem so malevolent? Was the fact that it lay mired in the education cesspool enough to make a respectable building– a nice building even– into a foul, heinous tool for that dark entity bent on ruining the lives of youngsters everywhere?
The unsuspecting, oppressed slaves– or should I say students– filed in obediently, unable to escape from their one terrible duty.
"Hello class!" a warm, feminine voice trilled at the front of classroom 214. "I have a feeling it's going to be a wonderful day!"
Her students groaned, but obligingly took their seats. The small Beginning Business I class was ready for a fulfilling day of learning, and their bright, happy faces clearly evinced their desire to fill their sponge-like minds up with new knowledge. (Of course, it was just as likely that their sulky, ill-humored expressions showed how much they didn't want to be there.)
The teacher smiled and patted the stack of the by-then-familiar magazines on her desk. "Time for our current events lesson!" They studied the business of the times and the featured business-person every time a new issue was released. "Honda– pass these out, please." Said student rolled his eyes, but did as she instructed. He gave each of his fellow inmates– er, classmates– a copy, then sat back down at his desk.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy this," their ever-enlightened learning-leader said. "The focus of the article is one of our own students– Seto Kaiba, believe it or not." She smiled at him, but he didn't return it.
"Oh yeah," Jounouchi whispered to no one in particular, rolling his eyes. "I'm gonna enjoy this."
The picture of Kaiba on the cover was normal enough. He was scowling, and wearing another of his trademark trench coats.
"Isn't this exciting?" the teacher asked, not expecting any answer. "And it says here that Kaiba also agreed to do an interview. I've sent off for it, and we can watch that, too. Now, I know that–"
"Hey!" someone interrupted, a hand shooting into the air, a mischievous grin on the perpetrator's face. "Everybody turn to page seventy-five!" The teacher glared at him. "No– believe me, you're gonna want to do this." His grin spread wider and he winked at Kaiba cheekily.
The teacher looked at him skeptically, as though weighing out whether she should or not. Deciding that she might as well, she turned to the page he had mentioned. A murmur ripped through the class as she was flipping, until she reached it, and...
"Oh... my goodness." Her eyes widened considerably and she released something that sounded like an almost nervous laugh. "Well, I must say I certainly wasn't expecting that."
This product is brand-new, high-quality, never-before-seen, not sold in any store, equipped with the most up-to-date technology! It's amazing– unbelievable, even!
But don't take our word for it! Hear from many happy customers, whose lives have been bettered by this new phenomenon!
-Testimonials:
"I used to be shy and had trouble making friends, but ever since I bought my very own Kaiba my life's been turned completely around! I take him everywhere. Thank you– without him, I don't know what I would have done!" -G.S.
"I don't know how I ever managed without him! I'm keeping my Kaiba forever!" -H.Y.
"Yeah, not only does he add a certain charm to any room, he's also great with my kids! This really is the product we've all been waiting for. I told all my friends about the Kaiba, and now they all have one, too!" -K.M.
Hearing the commotion and becoming a bit curious, Anzu slowly flipped to page seventy-five herself. And boy, was she ever surprised.
Anzu's jaw, had it not been connected to her face, would have hit the floor. That... Well, that was some photo, alright, but there was just NO WAY that Kaiba would have allowed such a thing to be published anywhere. He was... He was...
He didn't look like Kaiba at all! Kaiba was not attractive. Kaiba did not make poor, innocent girls pant like dogs in heat. (Especially not girls like Anzu!) But the man spread out on the two glossy pages on her desk... She was more than certain that any number of girls– and she could certainly name a few– would drop their pants for him in a minute. He was propped up on his elbows, long, lean body stretched out on a soft, white sheet. Her hungry eyes slowly moved down his perfect, delicious body. Hair that just had to be soft and thick was mussed, giving a sexy sense of dishevelment that seemed to excite rather than encourage. Dark eyes were alight with something, almost jumping off the page as she stared at them feverishly. And then those lips... Oh, those beautiful kissable lips. (She was convinced that it couldn't be Kaiba– his lips had to be nearly burned off from all the poison he was constantly spewing.)
One hand was resting on his lower abdomen, the tips of his long fingers just at the waistband of the jeans he wore. They were carelessly left unbuttoned, giving a rather scandalous view of that much more skin. Anzu shivered slightly. Somehow managing to wrangle up her senses, she slammed the magazine closed and put her head in her hands.
'It's impossible,' she told herself. 'Kaiba isn't attractive. That photographer is just gifted. Gifted... and the luckiest bastard on the planet.' She clenched her teeth in rage. 'Augh! No! I refuse to let myself EVER think of him that way.'
Suddenly, she heard a grunt from behind her. Peering over her shoulder in an attempt not to seem too interested, she saw the very object they all were ogling. His cheeks were red, his eyes were down, and his shoulders were tensed up. There was no mistake– Kaiba was as embarrassed as it was possible to be. And though she felt some sick satisfaction upon discovering that, she found she couldn't blame him one bit.
-Testimonials:
"Without my Kaiba, I might never have gotten that raise! I swear, this is the best thing since sliced bread! I haven't had a single problem, and the performance is always 100-percent!" -D.A.
"I've only had my Kaiba for three months, but I've never been happier. Without him, that bus might have really hit me!" -R.T.
"I saw a few ads for the new Kaiba, but I never really listened. One day, though, I finally decided to get my own. And wow, I only wish I had done it sooner! My Kaiba has changed my life! Everyone should get one; he's worth every penny!" -E.U.
"That was... That was..." Jounouchi shuttered. "Torture. Pure torture."
"Excruciating." Honda put in.
"Yes! Disgusting."
"Unendurable."
"Nauseating."
"Guys," Yugi said with a sigh, so sure of defeat he put forth no effort whatsoever, "I think we get it now."
"Yeah," Anzu agreed with a snort. "And if it really freaked you out that much to see him without a shirt on, I'd hate to know what you see when you undress." She laughed heartily at the ensuing sputters, ignoring Honda's teasing protests and Jounouchi's rather unsettling threats to take his shirt off then and there.
She hadn't been repulsed at all by the scantily-clad Kaiba. Oh no, she hadn't been repulsed, disgusted, or nauseated one little bit. In fact, the only mote of discomfort she felt was due to her having the exact opposite reaction as the boys. They had been shielding their eyes and wishing he would put more on, while she had been unable to stop staring and wishing he would take more off. He might have been their nemesis, but... a girl was allowed to look if she wanted to, right? And hot damn did he give her something to look at...
There is nothing quite like gossip when it comes to spreading things around. Quicker than plague the news moves from one person to the next, spreading wider and wider until not a single person is left untouched. And the more sensational the news– the wilder, the more wicked– the faster it will move.
And never had Kaiba cursed gossip more.
No student in that God-forsaken school could possible be interested in the boring, long-winded language that articles in such a magazine contained. So why in the hell did everyone have a copy of it!
Whispers followed him everywhere: through every hall, in every classroom, there were even rumors floating in the office! He cursed the day he ever agreed to the do the stupid magazine article. Why in the hell had he ever agreed to do that? He didn't remember agreeing; he barely remember talking about it at all. Hadn't he suffered enough? First to be held to a contract he could nearly swear he never agreed to, then to lose 37 games of poker and have that humiliating picture published! The people were not subtle, and all the gazes locked on him made his face start to burn and his collar unusually tight. And it just didn't help at all that he heard some girl telling her friends that she wanted to rip all his clothes off.
He opened his new cell phone and quickly made a call. If he couldn't at least stop the people from talking, then he could stop them from ever seeing the... picture of him in the first place. He was going to have ever last remaining copy–
BURNED.
So, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to make the right decision. It's time to make one easy call that will better your life and the lives of your family members. Buy your very own Kaiba today! He's fun, flexible, and requires very little care! This is a limited time offer, so have your credit cards ready and pick up that phone. Remember, a one-of-a-kind Kaiba isn't available in any store, so order today before our supply runs out!
Buy now, and may all your dreams come true!
End A/N: WHOO! Hope you liked; please review! Not only do I love reading your comments, but it's also nice to get some advice or constructive criticism, too. If you'd like to make a suggestion for me, or offer an idea, or anything, I'd be more than happy to hear. Alright, bye!
On the next episode of LIFESTYLES...
"I know that he's your twin brother's estranged step-mother's cousin's fiancee, but I refuse to allow him to treat me this way!"
"Oh Jounouchi, you're so brave! Kiss me now, or I shall perish!"
"Anything for you, Honda my darling."
---eh... or not---
(chapter seven: bet your bottom dollar)
AAH! I HAVE A REQUEST! I have a lovely new idea for another Seto/Anzu story, but I don't know what the title should be! The premise is this: Yugi and Anzu are dating, but after several unexpected meetings with a man from her past she's starting to rethink her romantic priorities. There's a bookstore, a sentimental Seto and lots of rain. If anyone thinks of a possible title, I'd love to hear it. This will prolly be posted in the summer.
ILB
