The next few weeks were both better and worse for both Drake and Megan. At times Drake almost thought he had the old Megan back but at other times he thought it was worse than ever. Sometimes he almost had to laugh at her behavior. Megan would sometimes stop in the middle of doing something to stare at an object. Drake knew what she was up to. It was shocking to discover everything around you for the first time, even though you had been seeing it your whole life. Drake had done it himself when he first made the discovery but he didn't have to look as hard as Megan. Ever so slowly the sparkle in Megan's eye grew. The life in them was coming back very slowly.
Audrey noticed it once or twice and raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. She remembered what Drake had told her and began to watch her kids more trying to watch out for them as best she could. She noticed that Drake always kept a watchful eye on Megan, no matter what else was going on. Audrey just hoped Megan would be able to work it out and was very prepared to step in if Drake needed the help.
There were still hard times, once or twice Megan felt like giving up on herself, on everything. At one point she reached the edge and almost fell over.
"Megan? Are you in here?" Drake called quietly into Megan's room. Drake and Megan had planned on watching the midnight monster movie together but Drake hadn't seen her since dinner. His parents assured him that Megan was sound asleep in bed and it worried Drake that her bed was now empty. There was no answer.
Megan was sitting around the small corner next to her bed. Curled up in a ball she tried to answer Drake when he called to her but found her voice wasn't working. Megan knew she had to get her brother's attention. Drake was the only one who would come looking for her this late at night and he was the only one who could stop her from doing what she wanted to do. Finally, as Drake was about to leave, Megan let out a small soft whimper. That whimper was all the sound she could manage.
Drake barely heard the whimper and thought it was probably a figment of his imagination. Just in case, he walked into the room fully and looked around. His eyes fell on a small huddled mass in the corner. It took him a second to realize it was Megan sitting there, rocking back and forth like she was in pain, holding a razor in her hand.
"Don't leave me...I don't know what I'll do...don't let me do anything..." She croaked finally managing to speak. Megan desperately wanted to end it all but knew she wouldn't be able to in front of Drake. The small part of her that still wanted to live was screaming to keep Drake in the room, to keep him close, so she wouldn't be able to do anything stupid.
Drake didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to run and wake his parents up, remembering what he promised his mom but another part, a stronger part, told him not to leave Megan for a moment. That part was also reminding him about his promise to Megan. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. She was so fragile now she could shatter at any moment, having to explain this to Mom and Dad would have destroyed her completely. So Drake did the only thing he could think of. He gathered a shaking Megan into his arms, carefully took the razor from her hand and tossed it across the room, and rocked her back and forth in the same rhythm she had already been swaying in.
Megan knew she was safe now; Drake wouldn't let her do anything. Megan let Drake try to comfort her. For awhile, the part of her that wanted her to let go refused to cooperate with the rest of her. That part was forcing Megan to sit rigidly in Drake's arms, clinging to him for dear life. Megan wasn't really hearing what Drake was saying to her. All she could make out was that he was speaking to her in a soothing voice. It was enough for now.
Drake saw that Megan wasn't really listening to him. She was just sitting there, staring ahead with a look of confusion and pain etched on her face. She didn't cry at all, almost as if she didn't have the fight left in her to cry, but was trembling violently. Drake kept talking, not knowing what else to do. It was as much for his benefit as for Megan's, Drake just didn't know what else he could do. So he kept talking, repeating things quite often because he wasn't sure what to say and trying to figure out what he was going to do now.
It was a few hours before the part of Megan that wanted to die gave up and let the feeling decline with it. She didn't have to fight inside herself anymore and slumped against Drake, letting her body go limp. She slouched against Drake letting his now clear words fall over her in comfort as large tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Drake felt Megan relax against him and looked down. She had buried her head in Drake's shoulder and closed her eyes as tears made trails down her cheeks. Drake almost thought Megan was asleep but wasn't sure.
"Drake?" Megan asked in a very soft voice.
"Yes, Meg?" Drake replied, willing his voice not to shake. His throat was getting sore from saying words of comfort over and over but he was determined not to let her see him falter in the least.
"Don't leave me." Megan whispered as more tears began to fall. Drake gently wiped the tears from her face.
"I won't, Megan. I promise I won't." Drake told her.
"Sing to me, please." Megan asked in a whisper without opening his eyes. Drake thought for a moment and than started singing a song that Drake had started on since this whole ordeal began that fateful night when Megan first appeared at his door. It seemed fitting to sing it now.
"The monsters in your head have left you all to yourself.
It's alright if ugly little things remind you of how it felt.
Wake up; it's time to get your things together.
Breathe out; future days will treat you better
You are so clever. You'll kept it together today,
I'll no longer ignore you. I wanted to show you.
Life is worth living
But it's okay if you turn around and feel the memories bringing you down
Just know that I'm here
And in the end you are stronger
You no longer need to recover
Over my shoulder, under my skin
The monsters will never return again."
Megan let Drake's voice wash over her as it lulled her to sleep. Drake's angelic voice sent her into a peaceful slumber. Megan knew Drake would be there when she woke up to face the world again.
Drake finished the song with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. He took a few seconds to compose himself before turning his attention back to Megan. Looking at his sister he realized she was sleeping peacefully. Megan looked so weak it almost made Drake burst into tears. Megan's head drooped gently on Drake's shoulder with fresh tear stains streaking her pale face, starting from the dark circles under her eyes. Megan was clinging to Drake for dear life, even in her sleep, and seemed so much more fragile. Drake couldn't make himself let go of Megan, afraid that if he did, he would lose her.
Drake stayed awake for almost the entire night, watching over Megan. Every time Drake drifted into sleep he had a dream that he hadn't been there and Megan had thought no one cared and killed herself. That dream was waiting for Drake every time his eyes drooped shut and he immediately shot awake half way through it. By the time the dawn began to break Drake was looking almost as bad as Megan was.
It was at that point Megan began to stir slightly in her sleep. Megan's eyes fluttered open, she took one look around and shut her eyes tightly again. Megan didn't feel quite ready to deal with everything. She wanted a few more minutes of peace, at least.
But it couldn't last and Megan knew that. She had to face everything sooner or later. She was going to have to face Drake too. Megan couldn't comprehend what she must have put her brother through in the last day. Still, Megan didn't want to move just yet. She felt safest, hidden away from the world like this.
Drake shifted his weight ever so slightly, not wanting to disturb Megan. Drake thought Megan was still asleep, lost in a dream world which wasn't as harsh as reality.
"Drake?" Megan's soft voice sounded in the quiet.
"Yeah." Drake replied just as softly.
"I'm scared." she whispered.
"Of what?" Drake asked, slightly confused by the pervious comment.
"What would everyone say if they saw me like this?" Megan buried her face further into Drake's arms. "I don't want to disappoint anyone. I don't want to let anyone down."
"You aren't letting anyone down. Your family, we love you. We were never disappointed in you, ever." Drake replied trying to reassure his sister.
"How? How can you say that after all this? After everything I've put you through? I know that at some point I must have hurt you. All those pranks I pulled and blackmailing you must have made you mad. I must have done something or said something to hurt you." Tears began to slide down Megan's face. Megan couldn't bear to look at his brother but held onto Drake tighter, trying to make the world go away. Drake let out a slow, sad sigh.
"Megan, I would be lying if I said nothing you've done has hurt me. Just seeing you like this hurts me. But whatever this is putting me through can't be nearly as bad as what this is doing to you." Drake paused trying to collect the right words. "You are my sister, we're family. I will never, ever let you down. I will be there for you for as long as you need me. And so will the other guys. They may not know what's going on but they will be there. I promise. We all love you, Megan. I will always love you, no matter what happens." Drake's voice was soft and reassuring yet firm. He had stayed strong for Megan, having only broken down once in front of Mom. And Drake wasn't going to lose that strength now. Not when Megan need him the most.
"I love you too." Megan sniffled. Drake's only response was to hold Megan tighter. They both sat there for a long time, neither of them speaking. Drake comforting Megan as Megan tried to pull the pieces of her life back together.
