Yet another story that did not happen...like yesterday...yeah, totally not...Nope...

Here we go, another crazy tale that I hope ya'll enjoy! :D


Two minutes...

Mason watched the seconds tick by...

If he wasn't on time...Again!...

The commander would be waiting...If he didn't show up right on time, they would leave without him...

His eyes narrowed, feeling Viper tense in the seat next to his, eyes locked with the chrono as well.

One minute...

Fifty seconds...

Twenty-five seconds...

Three...Two...One...

The door promptly opened with a swoosh.

When Dick walked in to the break room, he came in with his usual swagger, casually tossing his brown fedora onto the table before sitting back and kicking his feet up on the table's surface.

Mason and Viper just glanced at each other, then back at him as he began dramatically shifting positions in his chair in attempts to get comfortable... as usual, Dick was only right on time. After about position four or so, Dick took a deep contented breath, relaxing in his...less then graceful position in his chair.

''Are you done?'' Viper crossed his arms, also leaning back in his chair, glaring the other man down.

Dick heaved a large, dramatic sigh and yawned, stretching...then nodded energetically, sitting up properly.

''Yup. I'm good. So, wussup?''

''Good.''

There was a pause...

Dick was just smiling pleasantly, either completely oblivious or a little proud of the fact that his jacket wasn't in its usual 'Coruscant' condition. (Of course, there were many different degrees of 'condition,' but those will be explained later. For now, all you need to know is that - when he's on Coruscant - his jacket is in a better condition then when he's out in the field)

Mason knew something was up and was fighting himself on whether or not to confront it, lips pursed...If he didn't ask, no harm done...but also if he didn't ask, there would be no telling what sort of crazy situation might happen with only Dick knowing about it because they hadn't asked.

He thought about it...and then allowed the table to greet his forehead a time or two before looking up pitifully.

''Do I even want to know why you have sticks, leaves, and dirt on your jacket?''

The smile never changed.

''Nope.''

...Once again, Viper and Mason exchanged looks.

''Okay, fine,'' Viper huffed, ''We need to know what you got yourself into just in case you could get in trouble. Now, what did you do?''

''Nothing!'' Dick insisted, managing to look insulted. ''I haven't done anything...Which is kind of the problem.'' he added quietly.

Neither of them were convinced.

''Uh huh.''

''Nothing! Sheesh, one would think you'd have learned to trust me by now.''

''Trust? You?'' Viper scoffed, ''That's a new one-''

''Dick,'' Mason interrupted, ''then can you tell us what took you so long this time?''

''Oh is that all? Yeah, I took a detour to the park and climbed a tree.''

Mason blinked.

''...You did what?''

''Yeah, I climbed a tree.''

''Why?''

''Why what?''

''Why did you climb a tree?''

''Because I was curious to see if I still could. See, I was...''

He let out a slightly chuckle and stood, rubbing his hands together gleefully as he paced a little before turning back to face the others.

''Okay, here's how it started. There I was, alone and unafraid, walking by the Hafar park when I noticed the trees over there. And I thought, 'eh, why not.' So here I am, looking up at this one tree.''

He put his hands together, demonstrating.

''Eh, 'bout this wide and it was the type without branches so, you know, I grab hold of this thing and start climbing...and climbing. Keep going...And when I first arrived, there was no one there; kinda - I kinda got a free-pass from embarrassing situations on that part. Anyway, halfway up, I looked down, and there's this guy just randomly walking under my tree, listening on his commlink; then he happens to glance up and I'm just hanging there. Shoot him a 'wuttup' nod. He does his reeeeeal slowly back. Then he walks away.''

Grinning, Dick chuckled evilly...

''His expression was hilarious. Then I started tree hopping. So I'd jump...grab the branch, found out I was on the wrong side. I'd shimmy over, jump again. And I just keep doing this over and over from tree to tree, jumping and landing. It was epic. I was tempted to throw in a HAAAAAWWWEEEEE in there, but I didn't want the cultural associations getting onto me for mis-use of a native tradition. So, yeah, that's what I did today...''

Awkward pause...

''How are you?''

All he got back were deadpan expressions.

''Dick...'' Mason asked, nodding his head prompt. ''Okay...end your story.''

''How?''

''Well, how'd you get out of the trees?''

''Oh...'' Dick glanced away, flushing slightly. ''I fell.''

''You fell? How?''

''The squirrel. Eeeeeeeeeevil.''

He shuddered, making a face. ''Honestly, those things are a terror. It's a wonder anyone puts up with them. Especially when they start throwing acorns at you.''

Muttering to himself, he shuffled around his pockets, patted himself down until he pulled out a large black nut.

''See? I'll tell ya, if we wanted to win this war real quick, we could just get hordes of those things and set them on the Seps. Galaxy domination within hours.''

''Oh really?'' Viper asked, brightening as he saw a way to shift the topic. ''Are you going to put that in your report that we'll be turning in within the next fifteen minutes?''

Dick froze...

''That was today?''

Glancing at Viper, Mason nodded emphatically.

''Uh, yeah...Today. That's why we were waiting for you.''

''...Oh Kriff.''

Standing as he picked up his own report, Mason sighed.

''Don't worry,'' he huffed, ''I'm sure Titan will forgive you so long as no one caught you on holo and your 'monkey man' exipade doesn't show up in the news tomorrow.''

Tension broken, Dick laughed. ''Oh don't worry. That probably won't happen.''


Next Morning...

He was sitting in alone in his quarters, typing furiously at his computer.

''Come on, come on, come on...Delete, delete, delete..Hurry up, before- ''

''DiiiiiiiiIIIIIck?...''

It was too late.

They'd seen it...

Tittering nervously, he stood and made his way toward his doom...the door to the outside.


slutten (Norwegian) the end


You got CaaaAuggght! Yeah, like no one in a huge city would see that. XD Right. Nice try, Dick.

That first part (the actual tree climbing part) did actually happen, but not the news thing. That was just to add to the fun XD

Also, that HAAAWEEE thing was in reference to a favorite book my family used to read. It was the war-cry thing people did in The Wilderking series. XD Awesome books.

So hope ya'll enjoyed! :D