Disclaimer: heh... heh... Yu-gi-oh isn't the only thing that I don't own...
A/N: Wow! An update so soon? Yes, it's true! And it's SO long! For this story, I try to limit each chapter to 2500 words or less, but this exceeds 3000. Ugh. However, I couldn't find anything I was willing to cut. Heh. There's SO MUCH dialogue; I can't help it! I love writing dialogue! I LOVE it! The only little glitch in there (besides the amount) is the... erm, tone. I tend to emulate the voice of whatever I read/listened to right before I sat down to write. I was talking to some of my friends with rather strong accents, and I had to make a conscious effort not to write the characters like that.There are a couple of key points in this chapter though, so don't think that it's totally pointless. Said points might be a little hard to pick up, but eventually all shall be explained. Oh, and the language is a little coarser than usual. That's it; read and enjoy, everyone!
Bet Your Bottom Dollar
(In Which Anzu Hides Under Tables and Dialogue is Absurdly Abundant)
"Well..." The teacher said, flipping on the lights. "That was... enlightening? I must admit, I wasn't expecting that. We really do learn new things everyday! I..." She looked at her watch. "Actually, the bell's going to ring soon, so just do your homework and I'll see you next class period!"
"Heh, that was great!" Jounouchi said, whispering across the row to Yugi. "Kaiba's like... weird, man! This is brilliant; more material than I do what to do with." Wearing a contented, complacent grin, he folded his arms behind his head, and sunk down in his desk, legs splayed out on the floor. "Now– just how should I take advantage of the situation..."
"You shouldn't tease him too much," Yugi said.
"And why the hell not?" Jounouchi looked at him, shocked that he even suggested such a thing.
"Teasing isn't nice," Yugi said matter-of-factly. He looked back at Kaiba, noting without surprise that the poor corporate genius seemed unusually red. "He's already embarrassed enough as it is; we shouldn't make it worse."
"No," Honda said, coming into the conversation, "I really think we should."
"Honda!" Anzu reprimanded, "You don't even hate the guy; why in the world do you want to make him miserable?"
Honda shrugged. "Devil's advocate– role I was born to play. Besides, it's fun egging Jounouchi on; he gets so worked up– it's pretty damn hilarious!"
Jounouchi graced him with a venomous look. "Thank you, Honda; so nice to know I have such wonderful friends. And same goes to you Anzu! Why'd you stop Honda? With me and him together, we could have overruled Yugi! Don't you hate him, too?"
"Um..." She glanced around nervously. When all else fails, go on the defensive. "Of course I hate him! I mean... I certainly don't, um, NOT hate him."
Jounouchi looked at her blankly. "What?"
Her face flushed, and she shook her head. "Um, nevermind. Hey! Isn't it almost time for the bell to ring? Let's get our stuff packed up!"
Jounouchi rolled his eyes. "Anzu, you are one strange girl. Too much to deal with sometimes. Don't not hate him? How the hell does that work?"
"Don't try to work it out," Honda told his friend, a serious expression on his face, "You might overtax your fragile little mind." Jounouchi began to emulate a dog's growling, ready to fight should the occasion arise– should Honda say another word.
Yugi laughed and said, "Aw, come on guys. Do you always have to act like tha–"
"We wouldn't act like that," Jounouchi interrupted, putting a pause on his and Honda's little feud, "If you let us tease Kaiba. Come on Yugi, please!"
"Yeah," Honda agreed with a grin, "What harm can it do?"
"I never liked being teased," Yugi said quietly, looking down. "I don't think he would either."
Jounouchi put a hand on his shoulder kindly. "Hey. We don't wanna hurt him or anything, just poke a little fun. We'll be gentle, I promise."
Honda looked at him, an eyebrow raised in half-annoyed disbelief. Jounouchi glared.
"Just let them, Yugi," Anzu said, from her position of repose on her desk. (Head on folded arms... trying to ignore the others) "They won't leave you alone until you give them your blessing."
Yugi rolled his eyes and shrugged. "You guys don't need me to tell you what you can and can not do; give it a go if that's what you really want."
Jounouchi's smile spread slowly over his face. He and Honda smacked hands. "Excellent."
"Hey, Kaiba-boy!" Jounouchi called, waving his hand in the air to get the other's attention. "Wanna chat?"
The seriously-red Seto narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Screw you," he spat.
Honda pretended to be quite offended. "What vulgar language! You should be ashamed."
"We just want to talk," Jounouchi said. "Y'know... Ask a few questions, that sort of thing."
"I'll put a stop to this now," Seto said angrily. "I dislike all of you strongly. I do not 'chat' in the first place, and should I ever choose to, you would the least likely candidates. Why don't you go waste brain cells on something else? I don't want to catch your stupidity."
Honda smirked, and put his hand under his chin. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful singing voice?"
Seto closed his eyes, willing his cheeks to turn a color outside the range of tomato. "I really don't care what you think."
Luckily for him, the bell calling them to their next classes rang at that instant, saving the poor boy from further torment. Seto strode out of the classroom as quickly as he could, hoping to avoid another onslaught of unwanted inquiries.
But with Jounouchi's determination, that wouldn't happen. "Hey!" he called, dropping various homeworks as he hurdled out the door, "Come on, Kaiba, don't you wanna talk about it? I'm not blind, I see you blushing. Heh, and you thought we were the losers– guess everybody knows the truth now!"
"Shut up," Seto commanded silently, embarrassment and rage boiling inside of him.
"You could at least answer one question!" Jounouchi continued, having nearly caught up to Kaiba.
"Will it get you to put a stopper in that annoyingly wide mouth of yours, thereby causing you to refrain from discussing my personal business in the middle of a crowded school hallway?"
"Whatever," Jounouchi said with a shrug, not having heard a word. "I just wanna know what DJ stands for."
Seto inhaled in aggravation. "Damn it."
"Yeah, I know you don't wanna answer but–"
"No, you fool, that's what it means. The 'D'? Have you forgotten your alphabet already? I have to leave; why don't you go piss on a fire hydrant or something?"
And leaving a muttering Jounouchi behind, Seto Kaiba went to class.
"Yeah, revenge is sweet," Jounouchi said, as he walked with Yugi after the school day had ended. "And does Kaiba ever deserve it, too. How many times have we been made fools of at his hand? I just like getting him back. I really hate that guy."
"I know," Yugi said. "You never fail to remind me."
"Right." Ignoring the tone– or just not getting it– Jounouchi forged on. "And I couldn't really say much because the asshole ditched me once we got in the hall. I did get something out of him, though. That chick that Mokuba was talking about that Kaiba went out with– she has the weirdest name. 'Damn it'. Well... Janet. Damn it, Janet. What the hell's that about?"
Yugi shrugged. "I don't know; maybe Kaiba has weird taste in pet names."
"No, but that's just it. I swear I've heard that before." He furrowed his brow in thought, scratching his scraggly head. "I just... I just can't place it."
Yugi sighed. "I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." Jounouchi was his best friend, but Yugi knew he'd be listening to nonsense and constant muttering unless he got Jounouchi off on another subject.
"I guess you're right." Suddenly he brightened. "Hey, I'll ask Honda! He's meeting us there, right?"
Yugi nodded. "Yeah. Actually, he and Anzu should catch up to us pretty soon. They said that they'd either catch us or just find us when we get there." He laughed as Jounouchi began to grin wildly. "Hungry already, aren't you?"
"Hell yeah! Man... Come on Yugi, let's go!"
Sure enough, their friends caught them. "Hey guys," Anzu said, smiling brightly. "Have a good day?"
Jounouchi and Yugi nodded. "Yep, sure did. How about you, Anzu? You seemed like you weren't feeling good in third period, though. Anything wrong?"
Anzu blushed and turned her face away from them a little. It was true– she was a bit uncomfortable then, but she was not even about to go into the reasons why. Was it her fault that half-witted television companies paraded about half-naked young men? No, indeed. And it wasn't only that... The Kaiba in the interview had been funny and almost... nice– to Mokuba, at least– and it upset her preconceptions about the boy greatly.
"No, I'm fine," she answered. "And... well... Hey, we can talk about it later!"
Honda shrugged. "Whatever you say, Anzu."
They arrived at the mall soon after that, and– like ants– followed a direct path to food. Once suitably seated and stuffed, Yugi decided it wouldn't be too impolite to pry. "So Anzu... Wasn't there something bothering you?" Honda and Jounouchi paused in their discussion– concerning the name and identity of Kaiba's old flame– to surreptitiously listen to their friends.
"Well," Anzu said defeatedly, "it's official. I have lost my mind completely."
Jounouchi and Honda exchanged glances. "Alright Anzu," Honda agreed. "Whatever you say."
Yugi coughed discreetly, drawing their attention to him. "Can I ask... what brought on this sudden realization? You Ok?"
"Oh I'm fine; I'm just crazy." She put her chin in her hand. "Life sucks."
Jounouchi grinned in a most mischievous manner. "Well if you are so very certain then I wouldn't dare dispute you." He draped a friendly arm across her shoulders. "Oh Anzu, Anzu, Anzu– you just gotta be strong. Crazy or not, we still love you."
"You know what," Honda said, looking at Jounouchi worriedly, "she's not the one I'm concerned about."
Jounouchi shot him a quick, poisonous glare.
"You guys," Anzu said with a sigh and a smile. "I'm not kidding, I really am–" Suddenly, her eyes went wide and her whole body locked. With a small noise that sounded almost like a squeak, she ducked under the table. And then there were three.
Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda just sat there at a complete loss: what in the world was causing their friend's irrational behavior? Maybe she really was crazy. "Anzu," Yugi whispered down at her, "why are you under the table?"
"Kaiba!" she hissed back at him. "He's right over there."
"Oh." He looked at Jounouchi and Honda in question, but they just shrugged, quite as confused as he was.
"Hmm," Jounouchi said curiously. "You're, uh... being a little silly, Anzu. I didn't know that we needed to hide from the guy now. I mean, he's one of the wickedest S.O.Bs that ever lived to make our lives miserable, but it's not like he's going to turn you into stone or anything. Come on out."
"No."
"Come on, Anzu; be a good girl, now."
Though they couldn't see her, she was scowling. "Shut the hell up."
Honda laughed. "Aww, don't be sore, doll. Just tell us why you're hiding."
"It's... It's not that simple," Anzu said defensively. Glad that the boys couldn't see her, she squirmed uncomfortably. "I'm not hiding from him. Alright, so actually I am, but I'm not hiding from the man himself as much as I'm hiding from the sudden, irrational attraction to him that seems to have sprung up in my traitorous body."
Not giving the others time to respond (a smart move indeed), she forged on. "I don't like him! I swear I don't; I never have. But... Oh! They shouldn't allow pictures like that to appear in regular magazines. I can hardly look at him now! He's a rude, antisocial bastard, but... the boy does have a body. An extremely nice body, at that. Yeah... An–"
"Alright! Alright!" Jounouchi said, cutting her off before she could say something that his poor mind wasn't able to handle, "I think we get it. And..." He sighed. "I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in you, Anzu. Kaiba? How in the bloody hell can you possibly be attracted to Kaiba?"
"I don't know," Anzu said sulkily. "It's not like I wanted this to happen or anything. And it isn't like I actually like him or anything. Give me a break here– I have eyes, you know."
"Whatever," Honda said, rolling his eyes. "I'm kinda... Well really Anzu, you could do so much better. Me and Jounouchi always figured you had a thing for Yugi."
At that, Yugi's eyes got wide and he lowered his head in utter embarrassment.
"And you know what, just for that..." Honda said, smirking like a cat in the cream. He raised his hand high, and then whistled. "HEY! Kaiba! Come over here for a minute!"
Anzu smacked his knee as hard as she could, growling to herself. Honda just laughed and watched a scowling Kaiba stalk over to their table.
"What is it, you outstandingly ignorant lackey? Do you wish to assert Yugi's superiority again? Or maybe you'd like to request a song. Or, why the hell not, maybe you'd like to tell me how God-damn attractive I am in a fucking towel!"
"Whoa," Honda said, putting up his hands. "No need to take your frustrations all out on me. I just saw you walking all alone over there and thought that maybe you'd like to hang out with us."
"I'd rather be skinned alive. May I leave? I think being in your presence has taken good years off my life."
"I'm not complaining," Jounouchi muttered.
"No one asked you," Seto sneered. He had been hassled and harassed all day, and was in NO mood to deal with the inanity of the Yugi-Bunch. And speaking of bunches... "Where's the other one of you?" Seto asked. "Normally, she'd be... shrill at this point. Finally scared her off as well?"
"For your information," Jounouchi said, trying to sound cool and calm, "Anzu loves us. She just..." He tried not to let his vision drop to her hiding-spot. "Went to the bathroom."
"A pity," Seto said, with a not-quite shrug. "I thought she'd finally regained her senses."
"What do you mean?" Yugi asked innocently.
"Well," Seto said as though he were speaking to imbeciles, "It just seemed like, out of all of you, she was the only one who had any sense at all. Which, of course, is saying something, since she couldn't hold a candle to a 5-year old."
Yugi tensed for a moment, hearing a soft sound of anger coming from underneath the table. Why she had to hide he didn't know, but she was his friend, so he'd do all he could to help her.
"Right, like you're so much better," Jounouchi sneered. "I'm getting kinda sick of you insulting us all the time. We're not idiots, Kaiba, whatever you want to believe. You probably pay off everybody at school just so you can get those high and mighty grades of yours."
"I don't have to work, you brainless mutt, because I'm brilliant. If those damn teachers want to fail me, they can; I could care less. And if they want to pass me– well, I don't give a damn about that either. There's no need to be jealous; some of us are blessed and... you aren't."
"Oh, a regular teacher's pet, aren't you?" Honda said sarcastically.
Seto smirked maliciously. "I'd rather be a teacher's pet than a teacher's bitch."
Honda smiled sweetly. "Bite me, you fucking asshole."
"You know, as much as I'd love to, I'm afraid I have an appointment to keep." He gave Jounouchi– in particular, for he was sneering at all three– a snarky glare, and started to turn around. However, he started as his eye caught on a very peculiar sight. He smirked, pleased with the discovery.
"Oh, gone to the bathroom, is she? Well then; enlighten me. Who could that girl under your table be?"
The three boys exchanged guilty glances. Reluctantly, Anzu crawled out– as gracefully as she could– and sat back down in her seat. She pouted as Seto smirked at her. "Hi Kaiba," she said, sulking beautifully.
To his credit, Seto tried to contain his glee. A little.
"Hello Mazaki." His smirk widened. "I'm not even going to ask why you were under the table; there are only so many reasons you'd be down there, and I don't think I really want to know."
"Shut up," she spat at him viciously. "I don't like what you're insinuating."
"Yeah," Jounouchi said loudly, trying to back her up. "She just didn't want to see you!"
Anzu, honestly, could have slapped him. And felt absolutely no remorse.
"Oh, hiding from me w ere you?"
"Why don't you just get to where ever the hell it was you said you needed to go. We don't like you anyway; unnecessary time in your presence should be avoided when at all possible." She waved him away, putting on a rather overdone act to cope with her embarrassment. "Goodbye, Kaiba."
"Getting rid of me so quickly?" He laughed almost cynically and rolled his eyes. "Oh Anzu, I'm hurt." He chuckled to himself once more, and then to the whole group's relief he was gone.
"Well." Yugi said, breaking a Kaiba-induced period of awkwardness, "That was... not completely terrible."
Honda laughed. "That's just like you, Yugi; put a positive spin on any situation."
Anzu sighed raggedly, and buried her face in her hands. "He's such a prick! I hate him! Why does he have to be so pretty?"
Jounouchi looked at her as though she were diseased. "I'm still going to have to fight you on that one, Anzu. I may not be a woman, but who the hell can think that... that is attractive?"
Anzu laughed. "Oh, more than just me, I assure you."
Honda chuckled appreciatively to himself, although he knew a private joke. "You know what, Anzu? Like him. If you really want to, go ahead and like the bastard."
"I don't want to!" she shrieked. Kaiba was right; she could be shrill. "I'm trying as hard as I can to suppress these stupid... feelings, or whatever they are." She groaned in frustration. "It would be so much easier if I could just buy a kit."
"Um... What?" Yugi asked, warily confused.
"You know, the Make-Your-Own sort of thing. No worries about personality or anything– I could have a babe with the IQ of Einstein and the cuddle-potential of a kitten. I'd make my own man, and then I wouldn't have to worry about stupid, stupid Kaibas."
"Dude!" Honda said suddenly, slugging Jounouchi on the arm. "I got it!" Jounouchi just looked confused. "No; come on, think about it– what she just said."
The wheels in his head began turning. "OH!"
Anzu rolled her eyes. "What are you two babbling about?"
Honda and Jounouchi exchanged mysterious glances and grins, the victory their new knowledge brought making them positively giddy. And, as though to prove some great point, they announced jointly, "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"
End A/N: Well! There we have it. Sorry for the length; I'm going to try to have more description and a little lessdialoguein the future. And there wasn't even a funny little, er, device-thing in here! Well, there was one weird reference, and kudos to anyone who picks it up! (So obvious...(glances at last line)) Um... Oh,two more things! Ithink I might be taking a few too many liberties with Honda's character. He all but flirts withSeto as I'm sure you noticed, but I just thought it was too great tostifle!Heh. If you don't like it,please let me know so I can have a better guideline for future chapters.
THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES to all the wonderful people whohave reviewed. I have over 100 reviews... this shocks and amazes me. You'reallfabulous. Alright- til chp. 10! (push the button... leave review... you know you wantto...)
