Yes, it has been a while, but I'm still here. :) this one is kind of a bunch of inside jokes and nerd references. XD Hope you enjoy!
Btw, if any of this does not make sense, my apologies. It's randomness prevails. ;)
''No, no, no, no, nononononononoooooooooo. NO!''
''Dick, just sit down for a minute.''
''NO! Back! Back! Begone Satan!''
''Dick, seriously. You've been peaked all morning. I just need to take your temperature.''
''You are not sticking that thing near my forehead. You ain't stick'n the mark of the beast on me. No sir, not today -''
''Dick, sit down.''
As usual, the adventurer paused for only a second, staring at Jude, face puckered in defiance...but that pause was all the medic needed. He unceremoniously shoved him into the chair.
''I protest!''
''Dick, shut up.'' he deadpanned, pulling the temperature device from his belt.
''It looks like a gun.''
''Dick, I don't want to have to stick a real one to your head in order to get this over with, now if you will please just- ''
''A REAL ONE! HELP, HELP, THIS MEDIC'S TRYING TO KILL ME!''
Jude sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
''Keep it up, pal, and you'll be two steps from Hell,'' he muttered before adding, more loudly, ''Dick, I can't send you back into the field until I find out where you are physically.''
All of a sudden, Dick stopped, staring up at him with seemingly big eyes.
''Why not mentally too? Isn't that always on the list also?''
Oh, yeah, now he stops.
''Yes, Dick,'' Jude hissed as patiently as he could muster, voice laced with a sweet tone that reminded him of a nexu in sheep's clothing. '' 'Mentally' is typically an aspect most medical personal consider. However, we've decided to make an exception for you.''
He smiled tightly, but it came out wolfish.
Dick blinked. ''Why?'' he asked, voice only childishly curious.
Because you would have failed it long ago, he was tempted to say.
But before that could slip out, Dick waved his own question away, standing.
''You hesitated. That can't be good. And I'm not going to stand for it...so I'll just leave now-'' he began walking passed the medic.
Jude lazily reached back, grabbed him by the shoulder, and easily pulled him back in front of him. Without saying a word, he pressed his hand to Dick's forehead, paused...Nodded. He turned, typed something into his datapad, then picked up a tiny capsule.
''Here. Now. Listen very carefully. You are going back to bed - I don't care if it's on the LodeStar or back in the Senate barracks. Have Mason take you back, and lie down. Take this and swallow one every four to six hours; set a timer. That should help.''
''But I feel-''
Lifting a prompting eyebrow, the medic gave him a look that dared him to finish that thought.
''Fine.'' he grumbled, taking the tiny packet.
''I will have someone check on you in four hours.
''Why? I'll be fine.''
The medic thought for a moment, then gestured for him to sit back down.
''Let me explain. Do what you were doing earlier.''
All he got was a blank look.
''Uh, where you were 'protesting'?''
As he suspected, instant recognition.
''Protesting!'' Dick gushed, aghast. ''I was merely- ''
''Yeah,'' Jude nodded. ''Like that. Now, sit here and stay quiet.''
''Why?-''
''No, no more talking.''
''But I-''
Gripping him by the shoulders, Jude glared at him until the other man fell silent. They waited...waited...After about five minutes, Jude released him. The adventurer's entire demeanor had changed and his eyes blinked open blearily.
''Okay. Now...protest.''
''Why?'' he asked quietly, voice a little husky.
''Aren't you going to say I've been a bad medic?''
''Well...You're a bad nurse.''
''That's not the same thing.''
''You're right.'' Dick frowned. ''I'd be worried if they were.''
''Why?''
''Most nurses are pretty.'' he glanced the medic up and down, then gagged.
''Oh, you little-'' Jude growled, shoving him before he rolled his eyes in exasperation. ''That doesn't aid in the healing process, you know.''
''Yes it does.''
''Now you're just being stubborn.''
''No really! It's just like seeing a piece of sunshine and sunshine is medicine to the bones.''
''That's laughter.''
''That's why I always make jokes when dealing with natborn doctors. Then it makes the nurses laugh and that makes me smile so it's a win-win.''
Jude glared at him for a minute, then over at the door, head cocking as if listening to something.
''Mason, get in here!''
He had been listening in on the conversation...and it showed. When he walked in, it was obvious he was doing his best to keep the amused smirk off his face...and failing miserably.
''Yes, sir?'' he managed to ask evenly.
Without a word (and with Mason growing increasingly uneasy), the medic sat him down next to his 'patient' and crossed his arms over his chest, tapping one finger against his bicep as he glared them down.
The awkward pause was intentional and both men (in trouble) knew it...but that didn't help. Especially when Dick sneezed.
''Now...are either of you going to tell me why you two clowns have been acting like this?''
''Acting like what?'' Dick asked, yawning.
''No, acting, literally. The facade that everything is fine while in reality you two are as sick as dogs?''
''I'm not s-'' Mason began.
He shut up pretty quickly when he saw the medic death-glare Jude was giving him. What was it with medics being some of the scariest people on the face of the galaxy when they were often the people who were charged with keeping you alive? Didn't they consider terror as something bad for your health?
...And also, what was it with the death-glare that looked exactly the same on everyone? Sure, they were all clones, but still...What was the big deal? Was that part of their training? Had they perfected it to the point of it being a medic-special? Was that part of the medic testing?
Dick thought of asking, but he kept yawning and Mason couldn't read his brain to ask the question for him.
Of all the times to not be telepathic.
''Now,'' Jude glared at them, hands on his hips, ''if neither of you are willing to listen, I'll have to confine you here under sick-call until you heal.''
Dick blew raspberries at the medic. ''What happens when your next patient comes in and you glance away for just a second while we make a break for it?''
''Oh nonononoooo,'' Jude chuckled, sending chills up the other two men's spines. ''When I meant 'confinement', I meant medic solidary confinement. See there are rooms designed specifically for that...''
Blinking, Mason slowly got to his feet. ''You would have to have two people to get both of us.''
''True,'' Jude nodded at the door, ''so I brought help.''
''Viper!'' Dick waved, ''Hi! You helping us get out of here?''
''Nope. You're on your own.''
Faces paling, Dick and Mason looked at each other.
''How long are we supposed to stay here?''
''As long as it takes...''
Yet another tiny mini arc I have unconsciously roped myself into. ;P
Anyway, hope you enjoyed! :D
