Disclaimer: LOTR CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE!

"Oh how I love the sea air." Galadriel said to herself. She was on the deck of the boat to Valinor. It was very peaceful, except when the occasional loud noises coming out of Frodo's room followed by either a scream or maniacal cackling. She walked over to Gandalf, who was looking out at sea, searching the shore of Valinor. "One more day on this boat with this odd-acting Frodo and I'll go mad myself!" he said. "Now, now!" said the scary, old looking, wrinkly, ugly, balding thing that was Bilbo, " He just isn't used to sailing for so long."

Gandalf turned back to looking at the sea, grumbling about how he wished he could get his smiting powers back so he wouldn't have to deal with these strange, strange people. Then he saw it. "SHORE!" he yelled triumphantly. "We're here!" he yelled, doing a happy little jig. "I-Il go get my things." she said, running off. It was the only excuse she could think of to escape from the dancing Gandalf.

(After they disembark )

"Welcome to Valinor!" Said a voice that belonged to a hyper blond cheerleader. "AHH!" yelled Frodo, hiding behind Galadriel. "Kill it-kill it-kill it!" He screamed in fear. Galadriel tore Frodo from her leg, where he had been clinging, to explian to the bewildered Mindy (the cheerleader) why he wanted her dead. "You see, Frodo here has been a little...off...since the incident with Sauron-" "INCIDENT!" screamed Frodo, staring at her like she was insane. "I almost die and you say 'incident'? INCIDENT!" "Calm down Frodo, M'lad. She meant nothing by it." said the scary, old looking, wrinkly, ugly, balding thing that was Bilbo. "No! I won't calm down! I'll do something worse!" said Frodo.

Everyone froze.

"What?" asked Elrond. "I'm gonna cry!" said Frodo, bursting into tears, while cackling maniacally in his head. "uh-oh Galadriel, we gotta do something! Once Frodo starts crying no one can stop him! Remember the cricket incident on the ship over here! " Elrond told Galadriel telepathically. "Right!" Galadriel said back.

"Frodo, do you want a soda?" she asked him. The bawling Frodo didn't respond. "hm? Do you want a soda?" Frodo didn't respond...again. "Oh screw it, I tried." said Galadriel. That only made Frodo cry harder. Wincing, she turned to Elrond and shouted to his telepathically "FIX THIS!"

"Uh...do you wanna kick the cheerleader?" Elrond asked, ignoring the glare Mindy sent him. Frodo didn't respond once more. "Ummm...do you want twenty dollars?" he asked, getting desperate. That only make Frodo howl in despair. "You cannot bribe me! I wont let you buy my happiness!" "This is getting us nowhere." muttered Gandalf. "Well then you think of something!" Galadriel hissed back. "Alright." he said. Gandalf promptly hit Frodo on the head with his staff, rendering him unconscious.

TBC