Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I am not Masashi Kishimoto. Therefore, Naruto does not belong to me (but believe me, I'm working on it, as well as several others).
Note: This was meant to be a simple, non-suggestivepiece where Iruka gets Genma good. But . . . it didn't end that way. I apologize for the poor characterization; I've yet to encounter Genma in the anime because I'm stuck in the U.S. of A., and I don't get the manga. I'm so deprived.
Summary: It's Genma's birthday soon, but he's been bothering Iruka with his damn senbon. What to get the Jounin? Iruka tries to play devious, but Genma turns the tables on the sensei. Warnings of slight swearing and innuendo.
"Damn it, Genma, get that senbon out of your mouth," Iruka growled from his desk at the jounin.
Genma wobbled the pick up and down, then said, "Why? It's mine, so I should do what I want with it. Or is that just your sensei-mouth flapping? You do know you're not in class now and I'm not one of your pupils, right?" It slid to the left corner.
Iruka frowned at him. "One of these days you're going to trip and fall and pierce your tonsils with that thing."
The senbon was manipulated to the other corner. "What makes you think I haven't already?"
His scowling wasn't helping, Iruka realized. Genma just wouldn't take the hint and be offended.
"Sooo," Genma leaned over Iruka's desk. "Are there any missions for a bored jounin?"
"No, not for you," Iruka frowned with all the intensity he could muster. The senbon simply rotated once, twice, then rested against Genma's lower lip to the right. "The missions were given to the genin teams. You're just going to have to enjoy Konoha's weather for your birthday."
Genma finally deigned to exhibit his fouler mood. "You're no help. Do you think I want to turn thirty-three?"
"With age comes wisdom," Iruka smiled sardonically. "You should be grateful; you need all the wisdom you can get, if you think it's smart to chew on a senbon."
"I'm not chewing the senbon, I'm just holding it in place. Are you sure—"
"Yes, I'm sure Genma. Now go away, get that senbon out of your mouth, and let me go home."
"Hmph," Genma slowly, painstakingly took the senbon from his lips, waved it in front of Iruka, then just as deliberately stuck it back into his mouth before he took his leave.
Iruka furrowed his brows at his retreating back and his mouth tightened into a grimace. That damn senbon! He hoped Genma choked on it!
Iruka stormed through the village, his frustration with Genma still not appeased.
Maybe Naruto was done with training and up for some ramen (not that the boy was never in the mood for ramen). For some reason, Naruto always made Iruka feel better, even after a rough day with Konohamaru. Especially after Genma bothered him with a subtle-but-insistent request for a mission, and then he'd start playing with the damn senbon in his mouth . . . .
The sensei sighed. Speaking of Genma, the jounin's birthday was coming closer. He needed to buy him a present (because really, even Kakashi likes presents on his birthday, so a more social ninja would probably enjoy a gift or two) and make certain it was appropriate—
Iruka stopped, staring through a window at a package. Slowly, deviously, the gears in Iruka's head spun. The chuunin smirked and headed into the shop.
"Iruka!"
The chuunin looked up at his name, smiling pleasantly as Genma approached. "Hello, Genma. There aren't any A-class missions for you, I'm afraid—"
"What is this?" Genma interrupted, shoving the package into Iruka's view.
Iruka blinked. "Ah, well, the last I checked it was your birthday present—"
"It's gum!" Genma shouted. "Cotton candy-flavored bubblegum!"
Tilting his head, Iruka feigned innocence. "Well, I thought, since you like having things in your mouth, you'd like something else to occupy your mouth, aside from the senbon."
Genma glared, but a retort died on his lips. A feral grin crept across his face. He left the gum on the desktop and stood back with his arms crossed. "Oh, well, Iruka, I suppose you're right. I do love using my lips. Say, you doing anything later tonight? I'm sure there's a more . . . personal gift you can give me that I can mouth."
Iruka choked, fingers losing grip on the papers and folders. They flopped to the desk, spilling out in waves. "What!"
"I guess that's a 'no,'" Genma tossed the gum package into the air and snagged it midair. "Maa, such a shame. Maybe next year. Til tomorrow, Iruka-san!"
The door shut before Iruka could reply with a snappy comeback.
