~Chapter 10~
Once they crossed the boundary line they continued to walk at normal speed. Eliza watched her mother carefully trying to gauge her mood. Eliza let the silence stretch for several minutes as they walked before she finally asked. "Mother, are you okay?"
Eliza watched as her mother stopped and leaned against a tree. Looking up into the sky, she started to talk slowly. "I... never expected to see him again...Ever."
Isabella turned to look at her daughter, "When I was first changed... after I escaped, I was a little crazy. I could only see myself as a monster. I thought he would hate me. Once I... calmed down so to speak, part of me was so scared he would revile me because of what I had become. The other part of me was so angry at him. For awhile I sort of blamed him for everything. There was this anger I felt for him not being there to stop Victoria, combined with the all the anger and resentment I had in me from... being abandoned."
Isabella took a shuddering breath before continuing, "By the time I sorted it out, you know... figured out who I should be angry at and for what reason, I thought he would be an old man. I didn't have the heart to go back. And now... here he is, just as I remember him."
Eliza smiled a small smile and murmured, "Not just as you remembered him. He's imprinted on someone, and she's obviously imprinted on him as well."
Isabella managed a stuttering laugh "Oh no, I was never... in love with him. I mean I cared for him, but as my best friend. He was my rock when I needed one so desperately. Which...is why I was so angry, I hated him and all he ever did was try and help me..." What remained of Isabella's composure shattered and her legs buckled.
Eliza caught her mother before she could fall, wrapping her up in her arms. For only the third time Eliza could ever remember, her mother cried. They were different than vampires, and this was one of the ways. When the emotions were truly extreme their bodies produced tears. Right now her mother was feeling a maelstrom of emotions. Eliza just held her as she continued, feeling the torrent of emotions running through her mother, but knowing she couldn't do anything to stop them Eliza just kept her close and let her cry herself out.
It was nearly half an hour before it subsided. Eliza could feel her mother quickly calming down now this particular storm of emotions had passed.
Isabella took a deep breath and straightened, smiling weakly at her daughter. "Thank you. I... feel better. I really needed that I think."
"As long as you didn't get tears all over my coat it was no problem." Eliza teased, making a big show of checking her shoulder and then wiping it off furiously, which prompted another laugh from Isabella. After giving Isabella another to settle, Eliza murmured quietly. "Now what?"
Isabella shrugged a little bit, glancing at her watch, seeing it was just after 5, "Now, we head home for a few hours before coming back for the council. I'm sure it's going to be interesting."
The two of them headed home, not running, both of them letting the cool misty air of the forest help to clear their minds.
"Mother, can I ask you something?" Eliza queried quietly. She worried about her mother and didn't want her sinking back into bad memories in silence.
Isabella opened her eyes to look at her daughter curiously. "Of course."
"When you met with Jacob… what did you mean by about…. imprinting?"
Isabella frowned, "It's a little difficult to explain," she hedged. Seeing her daughter's interest didn't wane Isabella continued. "Jacob explained it to me once. It's something about their kind. When a wolf sees their Imprint, they just know. Suddenly there is no other person for them. Their imprint is their mate."
Eliza frowned, "So… it's like love at first sight? Must be nice; to know certainly and quickly whether someone is the right person for you," she said, a trace of envy in her voice.
Isabella shook her head in disagreement, "It is like an extreme version of love at first sight, only a million times more potent. Their entire world flips. All previous relationships become secondary."
Eliza frowned deepened further, "I'm not sure I see the problem," she confessed.
Isabella shook her head slowly. "When I was initially hanging out with the pack, back before I was changed, their Alpha's name was Sam. He was the first person to change into a wolf in their generation. When he changed, he was with a girl, they had been high school sweethearts and were engaged. They even worked through the difficult time when he changed with no one else to help him." Isabella frowned further, her memories unpleasant.
Eliza nodded "Sounds like it was a good imprint then, what's the problem?"
Isabella shook her head again, "The problem is she wasn't his imprint. One day she was visited by her cousin and best friend. One look and Sam imprinted on her cousin."
"So… he just left her?" Eliza frowned, her disgust evident.
"No, He tried to fight it, but he was lying to himself and to her. He had no choice. The imprint was too strong. He hated himself for breaking her heart. She was deeply hurt, but then she transformed into a wolf as well. Afterwards she understood what happened a bit more, because the pack shares a mind. She could see what he went through, though she was still upset and bitter." Isabella replied.
"What happens if one of the wolves imprints on someone who doesn't like them? I mean what if they imprint on someone who's happily married or something?" Eliza asked curiously.
Isabella shrugged, "It's not always about convenience. When I was here, one of the pack imprinted on a girl who was two years old."
Eliza stared in horror, "That's awful, wanting to.. to.. mate with someone so young!"
Isabella spread her hands in a placating gesture, "From what I understand, for someone who imprints; the whole focus in their life becomes wanting to be close to the person they imprinted on and make them happy, sexual feelings don't enter into the situation until much later, when the girl has matured. And while it's not always easy, or immediate; with that sort of devotion and connection, it's hard to refuse a relationship. And to be fair, I didn't see a single imprint relationship which wasn't sickeningly happy." she finished with a roll of her eyes.
Eliza fell silent, frowning in thought and considering what she had just been told. This time Isabella watched her daughter closely. Eliza grinned at her mother "You know, for someone who was over 100 years old, Jacob looks damn good."
Isabella actually laughed at that, "Yeah, but I never felt those things for him, and his mate would probably rip my face off. Not to mention, he just wouldn't hurt someone and especially not an imprint. "
Eliza laughed a little, "I know, and I'm obviously not interested, I was just commenting."
Isabella frowned at her daughter and murmured "Don't worry, you're young. You will find your own mate sooner or later. From what I understand, with vampires it's not as sudden or immediate, you just find yourself being drawn more and more to your mate over time, but the connection is not any less powerful."
Eliza frowned at her mother, blushing slightly. "I could say the same to you, you know. You'll find someone."
Isabella shook her head, her lips drawing up in a bitter self-mocking smile. "No, that part of me died before I became a vampire. I'll never have another relationship, never a mate."
Eliza shook her head, "Mother, that's not true!"
Isabella turned her head, fixing her gaze on Eliza, her voice suddenly cold and very dark. "You know what I've been through. We may not be monsters, but we all have monsters inside of us. You know how close to the surface it is in me. How close I've come to losing it a few times."
"Yes but you haven't lost it," Eliza countered, though she kept her tone mild.
"No, I haven't, not yet. As a human I wasn't good enough to be a mate. As a vampire I'm too angry, I need to have control over my life too much to allow for a mate. You remember how I was when I found you. I had almost no humanity left. It hung from a thread before we bonded. I'm more stable now because of you, because of our connection. Heaven forbid if something were to happen to you. If I were to lose you, nothing on earth would be able to leash the monster inside me. Aro would need to have me hunted and killed. Otherwise I would be a plague such as the world has never seen; a monster without a conscience and without fear of consequence. I would be the same with a mate, and no one deserves that." Isabella's voice seemed to tremble at the mere idea.
Eliza stepped forward and wrapped her mother in a tight hug, reassuring her without words. She wasn't going anywhere. Eliza had never heard her mother say these things before and she was struck by just how lost her mother seemed. Eliza shook her head slowly, but didn't pursue the argument any further.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX
If you liked it/loathed it. please leave reviews! I always appreciate them!
