A/N: My longest chapter yet! Six pages and I have the feeling that they're only going to start getting longer until I learn to cut myself off. Good thing there are only a few more chapters left after this one. LSM...sorry I couldn't get this one up so you could have a chance to read it today, but it's up now so you can read it when you do get the chance, and this is for you, and bored, because you both have turned me into JO shippers...and now that I'm done ranting, I shall go.
He's dreaded being alone with her ever since he came back. And now it's happened. As luck would have it, this is one of those cases that requires them to play certain parts. So now they're sitting at a table with people they hardly know and trying to make conversation so they don't look suspicious. Neither of them are comfortable with any of it; he can tell by looking at her that she'd rather be anywhere but here, sitting in a dress that restricts her breathing.
He waits until the conversation starts to dwindle before glancing at her, smirking faintly at the subtle look of annoyance on her face.
"Can you breathe?" he asks in an undertone, and she glares at him.
"Yes," she replies, "Can you?" He nods, fighting the sudden desire to laugh as he reaches for her hand.
"Come dance with me," he says. She raises an eyebrow.
"Dance with you?" she asks. "I don't know, Munch. I'm not too sure about that." He rolls his eyes and rises to his feet, drawing her up with him.
"I'm not that bad at it," he tells her. "Come on."
Olivia gives a sigh of mock exasperation, but allows him to lead her out onto the dance floor. "You'd better not step on my feet," she warns, "They already hurt as it is."
Munch casts her a look of mock hurt. "I'm not going to step on your feet," he tells her, "Relax." She laughs.
"Relax, he says," she replies. "I'm supposed to relax in this dress and these shoes?" He shrugs.
"Close you're eyes and pretend you're not," he says. "What would you be doing if you weren't here?"
"Sleeping," Olivia replies. "Seems like I haven't in weeks."
"You haven't," Munch points out dryly, "None of us have."
"My point exactly," she tells him. "We could be at home right now, but instead, we're both here."
"What, you think I like this?" he asks. She shakes her head.
"I'd have to shoot you if you did," she replies.
"Thanks, Liv," Munch says mildly, "I'll keep that in mind." She lets go of his hand and swats at him.
"I'm kidding," she says. "I wouldn't really shoot you."
"Well, there's a comforting thought," he tells her. Silence falls between them and he reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair out of her face.
"I've never seen that dress," he remarks, "Where'd you get it?"
"Casey dragged me out shopping," Olivia admits, blushing as she looks away. "I'm not really good at this sort of thing on my own."
"I find that hard to believe." The song changes, but they remain where they are, neither of them having any desire to go back to where they were.
"You do? Why?" she asks.
"I don't know," he replies, "I just do."
"Why are we still out here?" she asks. He glances down at her, laughing softly.
"Did you want to go back over there?" he asks, motioning with his head to the table. She rolls her eyes.
"Hell no," she replies. "I was getting kind of tired of talking politics."
"You don't find any of that interesting?"
"No, and I find it hard to believe that anyone does. Why should we care about politics when all the government does is screw everyone over anyways?"
"Because we're the ones who put them where they are, that's why," says Munch. "If we're going to put them in those positions, we should be able to voice an opinion on the job they're doing."
"If they're doing said job at all," says Olivia.
"You know, I ought to tape one of our conversations sometime and see if Elliot and Fin can tell who's talking."
"What's the point? All they're going to do is say that I've been spending too much time talking to you."
"One can never spend too much time talking to friends," Munch tells her, "If you don't talk to them, then you have a problem."
"And why's that?" Olivia asks in reply.
"Why do you think? You stop talking you friends for a while, you lose contact, and then the next thing you know, twenty or so years have gone by and when you want to talk to them, you can't, because they're already dead." says Munch.
"There's a fine way to look at it," Olivia says dryly. "What if they're not dead and they've been wanting to talk to you all that time?"
"Then you ask them why they didn't think to drop by and initiate the conversation."
"And what if that just makes whatever started the silence that much worse?"
"Then you deal with it and find someone else to talk to. It's not like it'd be hard in a city this size."
"You have got to be kidding me. Why would you want to do that if you already had someone to talk to?"
"People grow apart, Liv. It's one of the main reasons relationships start to deteriorate in the first place. Once you have nothing in common, it's practically impossible to talk, because there's no common ground."
"Which is probably why some people just stay single their entire lives, because they don't want that to ruin anything."
"I think people who are single are that way because they either haven't had the chance to go out there and find someone they could love, because they have found someone and just can't tell them because they're afraid of being rejected or because they've left the person they supposedly loved because of minor problems that they could have worked through."
"That's the point, though," Olivia says as they turn. "You're going to get hurt if you love someone, that's a given. It's not always going to be sunshine and roses."
"Exactly," says Munch. "It's not. And that's why some people's relationships don't last, because they expect it to be that way. They expect some sort of fairy-tale romance and when they don't get it, they're disappointed."
"So they leave, and then they find themselves alone again…but what happens if they come to their senses and realize that they really want what they had?"
"Then they can go back, and hope that the one they left hasn't moved on, found someone else…that they still want what they had, too."
"And if they don't?"
"Then they go their separate ways, until they find someone who can give them what they need and what they want, and if they never find that someone, then they stay single the rest of their lives."
"What about your other theory?" Olivia asks then, as the song changes a second time. "What if they have found someone and they're just afraid to tell them?"
"You know that saying that fear is supposedly a great motivator?" Munch asks, and Olivia nods. He pauses for a minute before going on. "That's not always true. Sometimes it's more of an obstacle than anything."
"I can see why it would be," says Olivia, "Not being able to tell someone how you feel about them…"
"The fear of rejection can be worse than any other fear one might have," says Munch. "I'll bet you right now that you couldn't name one person who actually wanted to be rejected." Olivia laughs.
"You're right," she tells him, "I couldn't. I don't think there's one person in this world that would want to be pushed away after telling someone that they love them."
"Which is why a good number of people in this world are still on their own. Their fear is keeping them from finding what they want."
"Yeah," Olivia says absently, "I think you're right." For some reason, her mind flashes back to the conversation she'd had with Casey barely two weeks before, and she closes her eyes, trying to sort out her thoughts.
"You ok?" Munch asks, glancing down at her again. She opens her eyes to look up at him, smiling faintly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she says. "How long have we been here?"
"Out here dancing or overall?"
"Overall."
"At least three hours. I'm starting to think that this is just a waste of our time."
"You're not going to be saying that if we nail our guy this time around, and besides, it was your turn to deal with me anyway."
"Yes, only because Elliot and Fin already did this with you. Have you ever thought that being the only woman in the squad might actually be an advantage?"
"As a matter of fact, I have. And I do every time I get a victim to open up to me after they refuse to talk to you guys."
"That bothers me sometimes, how they won't talk to us when we're trying to help them. Why is that?"
"Because they've just been violated by a man, that's why. The last person they're going to want to put up with is a male detective that's probably been on his feet for more than 24 hours and is likely to lose his temper if she hesitates."
"Then she shouldn't talk to Elliot."
"You and Fin are just as bad when you're exhausted and you know it. I doubt I'd want to put up with you if something like that ever happened to me."
"If something like that ever happened to you and we caught the guy, he probably wouldn't make it to the precinct."
"Which brings me to another point: why are you three so protective of me, anyway?"
"Because you're a lady."
"And your point is? I have a shield and I have a gun. It's obvious I'm a cop; do you guys really think someone's going to mess with me?"
"You never know what someone's thinking at any given point and time, Liv. For all you know, one of these guys could be considering doing something to you as soon as I'm not looking."
"Then he wouldn't have much luck, you've been here with me all night, and I'm not going anywhere until we get our guy."
"You are one hell of a detective, you know that?" Munch asks, and Olivia smirks.
"How do you think I got to where I am?" she asks. "If I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't be here."
"And I would be bored out of my mind, because I'd have no one to talk to." Munch glances at his watch and sighs. "Any idea where the other two took off to?"
"I haven't seen them since we got here, and I'm starting to think they might've just left us here to rot."
"Oh, that's great. How are we supposed to do this if those two aren't even here to help keep an eye on things?"
"I didn't say they did take off, I said I think they might have. It's the only thing I can think of, seeing as neither of us have heard any of their comments, yet."
"We're probably going to hear it tomorrow, you know that, right?" Munch asks. "If those two are here, they're probably getting a kick out of watching this, and all of it's going to lead to them giving us hell in the squad room."
"They wouldn't," says Olivia. "I think those two know better than to give me hell about anything, but you, on the other hand…"
"I wouldn't doubt they'd give me hell about this," says Munch, "But if I don't have a problem being here with you, then it's not exactly going to bother me, now, is it?"
"You're the very one I'd have thought would have a problem with being stuck in a situation like this," says Olivia.
"I would have a problem if I were here with anyone else," Munch tells her, "And that's only because I wouldn't be able to talk with someone else the way I talk with you."
"That's great," says Olivia. "The only reason you don't have a problem with being here with me is because you can talk to me?"
"Among other reasons," Munch says vaguely. She pokes at him.
"What reasons?" she asks.
"Reasons that I don't care to disclose right now, so you'll have to wait until later." The song changes again, but still, they remain where they are.
"How many times has the song changed?" Olivia asks.
"Three, I think," says Munch. "You feel like sitting down yet?" She shakes her head, unconsciously moving closer to him.
"No," she says, "Why? Are you getting tired?"
"I'm not that old," he protests, pretending to be affronted. "I'm fine. It's just those shoes of yours that I'm worried about."
"My feet stopped hurting a long time ago," says Olivia, "I think I'm finally used to these shoes again."
"When's the last time you wore them?" Munch asks. She shrugs.
"Couple of years ago, I think," she says. "I forgot I even had them; I was going through my closet to see if I had any shoes to match this damned dress so Casey wouldn't have another excuse to drag me out again and I found these."
"You're probably the first woman I've ever met that didn't want an excuse to go shopping," Munch remarks, and Olivia eyes him intently.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she asks. He laughs.
"That is definitely a good thing," he says. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone who has to go out and get a new outfit for every event without even looking in their closet to see if they already have something that might fit the occasion."
"Well, then, I guess you can stand me, because I've got more clothes than I know what to do with, and I certainly don't need any more." says Olivia, smiling faintly. She glances at the watch on Munch's wrist and sighs.
"This is taking too damn long," she remarks. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"If you're thinking that our guy isn't here and that the other two have left us here to rot, then yes," comes the reply, and silence falls between them, as the song changes, yet again.
"Is it just me or does it feel like it's only the two of us and no one else?" Olivia asks finally, quietly enough that he has to bend down to hear her.
"It's not just you," he replies, pushing her hair out of her eyes again. She closes her eyes and leans against him, hiding her face in his shirt and breathing in. He keeps his arms around her as they turn again in time to the music and she laughs, her voice muffled by the fabric.
"What?" he asks.
"Nothing," she replies. "It's nothing." But it is something, and she knows it. She feels like a schoolgirl again, with everything from the butterflies in her stomach to the blush slowly making its way across her face, and it is for this reason that she's glad he can't see her expression. She keeps her face hidden, and he watches her, an almost amused look crossing his face when she doesn't look up.
"Comfortable?" he asks dryly, and she mumbles something incoherent, something that he takes as a 'yes', so he draws her closer.
"I think I like this," she says, her voice still muffled. He looks down at her, startled.
"Like what?" he asks slowly.
"This," Olivia replies. "Being able to just let go and talk without having to worry about being judged for what I'm saying…talking about stuff that actually matters instead of talking about work all the time…."
She trails off then, and he continues to stare down at her. A few minutes pass before he finally finds the words he needs to voice what he's thinking.
"So….so what you're saying," he starts, faltering slightly for a moment, "What you're saying is that you…you like being with me?"
Olivia looks up this time, rather surprised at seeing the startled expression that Munch is wearing.
"What?" she asks. "Did I say something wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"
He doesn't answer. For some reason, he finds himself both speechless and caught off guard, and it's all because of what she's just said. He finds it hard to believe that she actually enjoys being anywhere near him, and has half a mind to tell her, but instead, he remains silent, and she pokes at him again.
"Hey," she says, "You're starting to scare me now; what did I do?" He shakes his head.
"You didn't…." He sighs and continues. "You didn't do anything. It's just….I don't…"
She cuts him off before he can go any further, reaching up to kiss him again, much like she had that night on the precinct rooftop a few weeks ago. Her eyes are closed; her back is to the crowd, and she doesn't notice that the other two have decided to make a reappearance, but he does.
And he can tell from the look on Elliot's face that this isn't anywhere close to being over.
