Disclaimer: As before please, for the love of God, don't keep making me write it out people:O) The names Ivo and Ela are 13th C. names, but I felt they fitted this period quite well.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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KING ARTHUR:
Fallen Knights Return
Chapter Thirteen – Children and Demons
Odell, Merlin's Lieutenant, came to him "we have urgent need of Arthur's aid!"
"Why? I have not seen another insurgence of Celts…"
"Nay, it is not the Celts this time!" He shook his head angrily "A roman settlement is having problems with a Bishop from Rome. He is proving to be vicious all in the name of his leader and their Christian God; he is imprisoning and torturing these people.
I would not normally defend a roman, but they have elected to remain and become Britons; I will not let them feel they are not one of us and we will not defend them. If we are to keep this Briton united as you and Arthur desire, then we must fight for all people."
Merlin nodded gravely "Your words are wise as always Odell - I will speak to Arthur…."
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Arthur agreed with him "he speaks true Merlin, we cannot pick and choose who we defend - and these people consider themselves Britons now, as do I. I will speak to the knights immediately."
Sat at the round table, with Odell, Arthur explained the situation to the knights "I know you may not wish to do this, they were Romans, but they are now Britons and we have to uphold the unity of this country."
"A fight's a fight, eh knights! I was getting bored sat on me arse trying to find a village to become a chief of anyway - we 'aven't 'ad a good battle since…." His voice tailed off, as he realised their last battle was when Sandrina nearly died.
Tristan glared; but Sandrina who, like Guinevere and Merlin, now also sat at the table - and who was accepted as a member of any battle party, smiled at him "Bors has a point - and we need to help these people be free."
"But you are also a Christian, aren't you?" Asked Lancelot.
"I believe in God….I do not believe in the 'holy mother church'. It is run by corrupt and evil men; who use the new religion to intimidate and torture, to achieve their own ends and gain riches. I cannot save the world from them, but I am more than happy to stop them at least inflicting their shameful corruption on people here."
"I fear I touched a nerve…."
"Aye, why do you think Marius did half of what he did? Because a Bishop from the 'holy mother church' told him he could! I will not let others suffer as I have…." She was angry, all mirth gone from her.
"We will not kill priests – it would go against our beliefs." warned Arthur.
"Our beliefs are not those of the knights and the Woads, Arthur; and I will not be governed by a belief that allows corrupt and evil men to torture others for their own sick ends. I will kill anyone that inflicts unnecessary pain and suffering, regardless of their 'connections'!" Her voice, though low and controlled, dripped icy anger.
"But we need to realise that though some are corrupt, most connected with the Church are good men. We cannot just kill indiscriminately…."
"I won't be – I will be killing only those that deserve to die because of what they've done to others. I will not be swayed Arthur; if the priests and Bishop have done naught wrong, then they will not need to fear me - but if Odell is correct….well, I will deal with them. What the others do, is up to them……"
Mutterings round the table proved the others agreed with Sandrina.
Arthur sighed and looked to the other knights "what say you Knights? Do you ride?"
"AYE!"
They rose to leave the meeting room "Spoken like a true knight!" cried Bors, slapping Sandrina on the back, once they were outside.
"Yes, I think Arthur becomes too stately these days…." Added Galahad.
Sandrina rounded on him "he has to see the bigger view Galahad; just because I disagree with his opinion, does not mean that I would speak badly of him behind his back!"
Galahad raised his hands in submission "San I meant no offence, merely that I agreed with you…"
Mollified, she left. Tristan turned to the other knights "she has her own demons to deal with I think…"
The others nodded "They will make her fight well!" said Bors, always looking at the battle first.
"She does that already; remember those men who attacked Vanora, would any of us have dealt with them better!" Said Dagonet.
The others again agreed – she was a good fighter, they had all witnessed her skills.
Arthur came over "I have never questioned her loyalty to me any more than I would question yours. She is an honourable woman, and I respect her opinion even though I do not agree with it. She speaks her mind, which is not a fault in my eyes – I prefer honesty.
Advise me on the outcome on your return. You leave at first light."
Tristan left to seek her out; he found her in their room explaining to the children still in her care, Ivo (aged 5) and Ela (aged 6); along with Bethan and Lucan, what would be happening the next day….
"He is a bishop of Rome – but he is not a man of God; he is cruel and heartless to those in his care. That is what Odell says, and I do not have reason to doubt his word."
"Why do you go?" this from Lucan.
"We ride to ensure the people of this village are safe and unmolested; even by a Bishop."
"Will you kill him and his followers?" asked Bethan.
"If I have to; I will send him on his way, though if the rumours about him are true – it will not be to Heaven where his soul will tarry".
"You will be safe for us? You'll not let naught harm befall you again?" Ivo showed his concern.
The other knights, and Odell, had joined Tristan at the door; curious as to why he would not enter – he shushed them. He never tired of watching San interact with children; he himself was never that comfortable with them, except Bethan - but she was an exceptional child.
But San was always brutally honest and treated them like adults as much as possible.
"I will do my best, but I cannot promise Ivo. But I am your Sandrina; it is my destiny to protect you, and I will do my best to return to you." The words repeated so many times rolled off her tongue, with the same conviction as always.
Inwardly, Sandrina sighed; she knew this to be untrue – she had a different destiny now, a harsher one to secure. But the children were always comforted by that speech – and it was not a true lie in reality; for she would return to them somehow, to walk with them through their life.
"You are more than a protector San. My mother called you an angel before she passed…" Ivo spoke.
She had to bow her head to hide the smile "I have been called many things in my life Ivo, many things…" there were sniggers outside the door, which she ignored – though shuddered at the ribbing she would get once in their company again "but none have called me angel. I think your mother was mistaken, she was a good woman and I well remember you were her only concern as she lay dying – I think she was the angel."
"I think she was right; you're an angel to me…" she kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair as she always did. She settled them all down to sleep and responded as always to Bethan's request of what they should dream of.
"I see why Merlin thinks she is part Briton" Said Odell, hearing her describe what she dreamed of "she has a woadish way about her for a Sarmatian woman. But who is this one she loves apart from her daughter?"
"I."
"Then you are indeed a fortunate man…."
"As I am a fortunate woman" San emerged from the room, smiling at Tristan – she ran a hand idly across his shoulders as she passed; a careless gesture, but one that left no one there oblivious to their intimacy "he is my life's blood; without him I would not exist." She smiled at Tristan who remained as passive as always, yet none could mistake the depth of feeling in his eyes as he stared at her.
"The Tavern?" asked Bors, breaking the moment.
"So angel do we bow before you, or merely prostrate ourselves as you pass?" Asked Lancelot, with a wicked grin "can I cope with being the brother of a near deity?"
"Lancelot I will allow you this one moment of madness; but test my humour again and I will have to kill you. You told me not so long ago to remind you to do naught to upset me, and I am doing so now…." She spoke sternly, but there was humour in her voice.
"Aye and you also said I would not listen, and you were right!" Was the gleeful reply.
She punched his arm as they all walked on, laughing and tomenting each other.
Tristan pulled her back "do not let your temper get the better of you with the Bishop, San. Deal with him as you dealt with those men who molested Vanora, only then can you hope to win."
"I will do as you suggest Tristan. You are right, but if this Bishop is who I think it is; well, it will be difficult – you may yet see a side to me you will not want to remain with, nor love."
"There is naught of you I would not wish to live with, nor would I not love with all my heart, body and soul San."
They kissed, amid much jeering from the other knights.
Odell drew Lancelot to one side "She is your sister? She is a fighter? I have heard of her from Merlin, but do not know overmuch - and if we are to ride together then I feel I must know more to be able to trust her."
"She is my sister in all ways that count; she guides me, loves me and supports me. She is as much my blood now as if my own mother birthed her. She raised me, Tristan and Dagonet from the dead on Merlin's orders, and she has been there for us every day since.
She nearly sacrificed her own life to come to our aid, as she felt there was a threat to us. The wound that nearly killed her was taken to protect Tristan.
Any one of us would gladly sacrifice ourselves equally as much to save her. She and Tristan are true soul mates; I cannot say in the beginning I was not saddened she did not want me, as was Dagonet.
But we cannot argue that fate and destiny knew what they were doing joining these two. Their love is hard to ignore, and they are of similar temperaments.
I will correct Merlin on one fact – she is not merely a fighter; she is a warrior. If we have any say, on our return, we wish Arthur to make her one of us, a knight – for we believe she truly deserves it. You can trust her Odell, she will not betray you."
The other knights overhearing, agreed "she saved my Vanora; butchered those animals like cattle! Without any help from us!" cried Bors.
Odell raised an eyebrow; Lancelot explained "That is indeed impressive for a woman to wield a dagger so."
"Get her to do Tris's trick, Galahad" said Gawain, as they reached the tavern.
"You know she won't if we ask her…."
"Then just do it; she won't be able to resist besting you, she never does…"
She didn't; Odell laughed at Galahad's mock indignation and her delight at beating him.
"She is skilled, there is no question. You are all very fond of her."
"Yes, she is very dear to us." Dagonet spoke.
"Then I will be proud to ride with her and fight by her side if necessary" was the Woad's reply.
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None were prepared for what they found at the village 2 days later, nor were they prepared for Sandrina's reaction………..
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The ride there had been uneventful. She had spent most of it with Tristan; though had also rode with the other knights, revelling in being out on Hunter, out in the free air again….
"You are Woad?" Asked Odell, the night they had made camp and had been sat round the fire.
"Nay, Sarmatian. But Merlin thinks my mother was a Briton and Woad. He says I am an elemental. I think mayhap he's right; I feel at one with nature, animals respond to me as if I am one with them, the elements show me the way and aid me.
It is a little overwhelming sometimes; but I always have Tristan - he is the beat of my heart, the breath that I take" she glanced to where he was watching the flames in the fire, absently stroking the hawk who had returned after a successful hunt. As if sensing her gaze he looked up and flashed a smile, she returned it.
"Destiny has smiled on you to give you your soul's mate…not all are so fortunate."
"I am grateful…nay, more than that. I thank God every day that I have him in my life."
"You believe in this Christian God, but accept your Woad heritage, and you would kill men that represent your beliefs - I do not understand?"
"I am 'a contradiction in terms' according to Arthur." She smiled "But I believe in a fundamental right to be free; God has given me my abilities by making my mother a Briton and Woad. I would kill anyone who would harm others. It is really as simple as that."
"Spoken like a true Woad!" Laughed Odell "I can see we will be good friends Sandrina, and I understand now Merlin's affection for you."
Later that night, spooned together – the scout murmured, in his calm way, into her ear "he likes you….the Woad…"
"Aye, he seems to - he is a good man. A good ally, we are fortunate. But only one man will ever own my heart and soul in this life, and eternity…" she turned and kissed him deeply "I am for you Tristan – never forget that…"
She could sense his chocolate brown eyes on her in the darkness; feel his mouth smile against her lips "Good, I thought I might have to kill him….."
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They arrived in the village the next day - what greeted them was beyond reason; men and women starving to death, and hardly a child to be seen.
The wind whipped viciously around San, and she felt the bile rise in her throat. Someone would pay for this, and this day!
The knights watched her face, knowing that she would not settle to 'discuss' the situation as Arthur had hoped. But all felt her way was the right one; Arthur was not here to witness this.
Lancelot was in charge but, on seeing who came to greet them from the main building, it was obvious that Sandrina had taken control in order to deal with a demon of old….someone from her past.
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Bishop Germanius came from the building; pale, blustering affability and extreme nervousness; having dealt with the knights before, and hearing of the witchcraft which had brought three of their number back from the dead, he was deeply troubled as he had not asked for Arturious' assistance. However, on spying Sandrina he paled even further - to the point where his assistant, Horton, thought he would faint.
They all looked between the two, Sandrina's face set like stone and the pale and shaking bishop.
"Good Morrow, Bishop!" Lancelot spoke "We are here on King Arthur's orders. We heard there were problems here, and on reaching you we see that your people are starving…"
"Though you apparently do not appear to be faring as badly…." ground out Sandrina; and from there, as Lancelot recollected later, the Bishop cast himself out.
"I fare tolerably, dear lady….I.."
Icy eyes regarded him, her voice arctic – but still the anger was there also "Naught lady am I, Bishop Germanius; any more than I was the last time we met. Please do not insult my intelligence by feigning ignorance of my identity. I have obviously not changed sufficiently over the years for you not to recognise one you helped to torment so as a young girl – your pallor proves that point."
"I….I….assure you…" he stammered, seeing the realisation of what Sandrina was saying dawn on the other knights present, and fearing for his safety. They bore him full as much ill will as she.
"So where is the dungeon? Come now, speak up! You were the one that advised Marius to build the oubliettes and the dungeon, to beat me and abuse me, in the name of the 'holy mother church'. I doubt you will not have similar here…"
"I…..I.."
"You cannot speak to his Eminence like that!" cried his assistant.
In one fluid movement Sandrina was off her horse and had her sword to his throat "he is no Eminence! He is a man, who serves another man; as far as I know, no one has died and made them Gods. Do not test my patience, you will find out very quickly I do not have any." She hissed. The assistant wet himself.
"So much for tact and diplomacy…." Sighed Lancelot.
"San….instinct."
Hearing Tristan's calm voice, Sandrina took a deep steadying breath and dropped her sword to her side. "Take me there…"
"I cannot – it is not permitted. Only the priests go there…"
"Then get.me.a.priest!" Villagers came towards them "Why are they starving?"
"There is not enough food for everyone…" stammered the bishop.
"You don't seem too thin." remarked Gawain.
"I am fortunate that God is good to me…..I…"
"Dare you to speak of God when I know what you've been doing, what Marius would do on your advice?"
The knights remembered the villagers there telling them how Marius starved them; but surely not – this supposed 'man of God'?
A priest came up "You wish to see the dungeon, why?"
"Humour me…" Her tone brooked no argument.
The others dismounted and all went to the dungeon in the main house. Unlike the huts round it, this was made of brick – the roman influence was obvious, and the similarities to the likes of Marius' property made her feel sick. Tristan put a steadying hand on her shoulder.
When they went inside the smell was as overpowering as all remembered it; the knights as liberators, San as a prisoner.
The only difference here was who filled it; children……some as young as Ivo, others aged up to about 13. She stopped on the threshold, her heart in her mouth, but her face as impassive as Tristan's.
"Dear God above, who would do this butchery in Your name?" she whispered. Despite her passive stance, her sword at her side – the knights could feel her anger rising further.
"We felt if we could convert the children, then the parents would follow." Murmured the priest, as if that excused what had been done here.
A white hot rage came over Sandrina; memories long since buried came flooding back, almost threatening her sanity. The butchery, the torture, the pain; this…this was not acceptable.
Before anyone could move the priest's head rolled across the floor behind him making Gawain step back, the dripping blade in her hand, her head not even turned in his direction as she cut him down where he stood.
A strangled gasp from behind showed that Horton had seen all; turning on him she pinned him against the wall by his hair, holding the still dripping blade against his neck "these children will be released IMMEDIATELY! You will give they and their families food; and I want Germanius here…NOW!"
Odell, and the other Woads riding with them, disappeared with Gawain and Galahad; dragging the hapless man with them.
San and Dagonet started releasing the children that were still alive; she worked with a mechanical determination that earned her the respect of the Woads, and even more affection from the knights.
Out of 28 children, 10 survived. Germanius was brought to them; even Tristan fought to keep from killing him where he stood, and Dagonet and Bors had to be restrained by the others.
"This is what you do in the name of God, is it Bishop; murder and torture innocent children? You would think, would you not, that this kind of barbarity would stop when it was realised that butchering people will not persuade them to believe in your religion."
"I thought you too believed in the holy mother church…" he gestured to the other knights and Woads with her "I heard them talking…."
"I believe in GOD – NOT the bloody church; and this is why! God would not sanction this brutality in His name and well you know it!
You were sadistic when I was but a young girl of 15 summers and you are still the same. Marius learnt well from you."
"He only tried to teach you to accept the church as the one true faith….."
"Oh, he taught me well, Bishop…" she spat the word "he taught me to live with pain so indescribable that you think you are dead; you certainly pray for death.
He taught me men can butcher and defile in the name of religion without compunction; and he also taught me that I could live in hell and survive.
The one thing he did not teach me was to accept your 'holy mother church'." She spat in disgust.
"The one who taught me to believe in God was his wife. A kind sweet soul; who suffered her own torments at his hands for trying to help me, as well as others; and yet what was it you called her? Ah yes, a milk sop; weak willed and ignorant…."
She smiled malevolently "well, let us see how you endure your own treatment; as your own 'holy mother church' teaches "do unto others, as you would do unto yourself".
With that she shoved him down into an oubliette, clanging the top shut. She leant down so he could see her, before saying utterly emotionlessly, particularly compared to her previous violet outburst "mayhap we'll return……….mayhap we will not." His screams followed them out.
She went to Horton "Make any move to help him and I will see you join him, understand?"
The terrified man merely nodded.
She went outside and confronted the other priests "I want you to bury…." She swallowed "the children and the other dead from the village, then you can help us distribute the food.
If you do not do as I say, I will happily despatch you to hell; for there is no hope of Heaven for you after what you have carried out here." Her voice quiet and still emotionless, her face blank, she held a stillness and menace about her that made even Gawain shudder.
"Who are you to tell us what to do, to say we will be denied eternal rest for doing God's work, you, a murderer?" one of the priests said angrily.
Lancelot stepped forward, but Tristan held him back "she is one of them" he muttered "she can use their holy words against them."
"I am a murderer, I have killed in battle and I have killed evil men intent on harming others – but I have never butchered innocents as you have.
Do you honestly believe that you did this in the name of God? God may say "suffer the little children to come unto me", but not like this….this was nothing more than sheer depravity." She gestured to all the little corpses and sick children lying by them.
"But I will give you a choice - if you truly believe you are without sin, that you only did what God wanted, then stay your ground and let me cut you down where you stand. For you have naught to fear and your place in Heaven assured, yours will be a martyrs death – otherwise, obey me. The choice is yours…."
She stepped back "But, mark me…I will kill you – I am a warrior and I live among honourable knights; I make no idle threats, only promises. So decide holy men; are you guilty, or innocent?"
The five priests hesitated and then began to move towards the dead – "I thought not" she sneered in disgust "Get some shovels".
She and Dagonet took care of the children that had survived. She herself helped bury the younger ones; she comforted the grieving families of the dead, and handed out food to the survivors in the village.
She sat with one of the families for an age – they had lost two of their children, a little girl of two and a boy of four. Sandrina sat passively as they grieved by their bodies; eventually the emaciated mother turned "why would they do this? I heard you are of the church - do you know why they would do this in the name of your faith?"
"I am not of the church; I believe in God, not Rome. I do not believe in butchering people purely because of their beliefs; pagan or otherwise." Looking at the ground she rubbed a grubby hand over her eyes and sighed "the evil that men do in the name of their religion."
The father touched her arm "Thank you…thank you for the good you have done this day."
"I have done naught; mayhap, if we'd got here sooner…." She looked around; defeat evident in her voice.
"You would not have been able to do more than you have; you….you are not roman?"
"Nay, like the knights, I am Sarmatian. I was brought here as a child." She sighed again "I must go, there is still much to do – but if you have need of me; to talk or for any aid, ask any of the knights and they will find me…."
"Do you know how to cope with such loss?" the mother's broken words stopped her.
"Aye, I lost loved ones too, but long ago – you live a moment, you turn that moment into a minute and that minute into an hour, and the hour into a day. Then you live one day at a time. Eventually you will remember them without this" she gestured around her
"But do not let anyone tell you time is a great healer; for they lie. It heals nothing, only makes the pain easier to live with." She smiled a dead smile.
"Who did you lose?"
"My family….."
"Priests…" the woman murmured, shaking her head "they kill so many.."
"Nay - Romans…. They came – they killed my brother, burnt my village, wiped out my tribe."
"You must hate us…." The woman looked shocked.
"Why would I? You were not there; you did not hold the sword that killed my brother, or the torch that burnt my village. I cannot hate those who are not to blame." she said levelly. 'Though I can want retribution on those that did' she thought. She rose to leave…
The woman touched her arm "thank you…."
Sandrina sank down again in one fluid movement, so quickly it made the woman jump; not keeping eye contact, though the woman could see the bright blue orbs looking at her, she said gruffly "Do not thank me Lady….I could not prevent this evil, nor save more….you have naught to thank me for." Rising and turning in one, she left the startled woman behind her.
Tristan and Odell overheard the whole exchange; their hearts tight at the suffering in her voice.
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Not once through that whole dreadful day did she shed a tear; such was her rigid control over her emotions. But the rage and anguish in her face touched everyone there.
Later that night, the knights and Odell found her sitting quietly in the darkened dungeon listening to the Bishop gibbering, crying and screaming in the darkness; a thin smile on her face…..
"San, what are you doing here?" Asked Tristan, kneeling before her.
She looked at him with vacant eyes "I want to hear him scream, to see him suffer. I was stronger than he; it was 10 days before I was like that…" she said matter-of-factly, as he gently helped her to her feet and led her out.
The other knights all exchanged looks, they'd had no idea she could be so coldly vengeful.
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In the middle of the night, they were all awoken by terrified screams; all the knights came running to the room Tristan and San were using.
She was sat up in the bed, her eyes wide open but obviously in the grip of an extreme nightmare. Tristan was speaking gently to her, but could not get her to wake.
In the end he swept her into his arms and carried her, struggling, biting and scratching past the others and outside; ignoring the blows, bites and scratches she dealt him. The breeze picked up the moment they stepped out and it began to rain; a fine misty rain. The hawk wheeled high into the night sky, keening; Midnight whined and the horses whinnied quietly. It was as if the animals and the elements themselves were trying to comfort her and free her from her demons.
The combination of those and Tristan's quiet, calm and reassuring voice finally woke her and brought her back to sanity. However, amidst her screams they had all gathered enough of what happened to her to realise the Bishop was no real man of any God or Church, and neither was Marius.
Even Odell, well used to seeing the extremes of Roman brutality, as was Merlin, was shocked at what she'd endured. The other knights, who all loved her as one of their own, could only wonder that she had retained any sanity under that kind of savage brutality.
But three knights in particular were struggling to control their own need for revenge. Tristan's whole body was still with the effort to control his need to shed blood; Lancelot stood gripping and un-gripping his hand on his dagger, his face set like stone; and Dagonet stood with the a stricken look of anguish, gently moving his axe at his side.
All present exchanged a look – and a silent agreement was reached.
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In the morning, San went down to the dungeons to confront the Bishop once more; only to find him gone. She was told he had escaped in the night, and it was assumed it was one of the priests who had released him. Despite what they thought she would say, she never made any comments about trying to find him.
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Sandrina didn't believe them….she knew they had killed him; she had vague recollections about her nightmare. She realised that they had found out much of what she had endured; at least whilst at Marius'. They had taken her revenge for her; she went round the knights and kissed them and hugged them - even Odell and the other four Woad warrior men and women with them.
"Thank you for……..trying to find him; but I doubt he will be missed, even by his 'holy mother church'." And she was right; no ripple was made about the Bishop's disappearance, he wasn't important nor well connected enough for Rome to care once he had insured the return of Alecto; after all, despite denouncing him and aiding his trial and subsequent execution, he had still been a follower of Pelagius.
His assistant was assigned to another bishop who was sent back there but by the time they had arrived, the village was deserted and there were no more people to 'convert'; so they were ordered to France.
The Knights and Woads stayed for another 2 days, helping the villagers begin to recover – but every night she and Tristan slept outside; she had no more nightmares.
No one ever found the body of the man on the hill; his throat cut, many other blows and injuries upon him. His remains eventually returned to the dust whence they came; his soul….well, San was right in her assumption of the fate of that part of him.
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Destiny, mollified that one wrong had been righted, allowed her wheels to move on…..Fate's game began again; the second round was now upon them.
I know this is probably a horrible way to deal with Germanius, but to be honest I thought he was a complete unpleasant and slimy individual in the film and was very keen for Tristan or Bors to kill him (as the only two characters who might have); when they didn't and Arthur just let him go…..well, I wasn't a happy bunny. So you could say this is my revenge for getting Dag killed in the film, and for just being a creep. Additionally, I felt his character was probably capable of this based on his actions in the movie.
