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'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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KING ARTHUR:
Fallen Knights Return
Chapter Nineteen – Love and Hate
A week later, Tristan was well on the road to recovery. His arm was still sore, but it was mending well; he'd always been a quick healer. San was relieved that, despite coming so close to losing the two people she loved most in the world, they were still together and happy.
She'd been ill for a week now - she felt tired all the time and even Guinevere said she should stop worrying about others so much and look after herself. She had lost some weight, but that could be down to the sickness. She was always being sick at the moment.
Still, Tristan didn't seem to mind – for a man with an injured arm that had nearly died he didn't let it stop him making love to her; she smiled at the memory.
He was so different when they were alone; in public he was always loving – looks, a brief smile, even kissing her in the open on occasion; though his usual reticent manner was there.
But when they were alone; he was more than just loving, he was kind and passionate. He would laugh too; something he rarely did outside their room, their little family.
He was still quiet a lot; but why did they need words? They were so close now they could almost read each other's minds. He loved her, and not just physically. She could feel him when he entered a room, even if there were to be a hundred people around them, she would know he was there and would be able to immediately catch his eye.
She could tell if he was angry, hurt, happy or sad before he even said; and he was the same with her - and Bethan. They three were tied, and she thanked God every day for it.
Tristan spoke into the early morning light, as she snuggled in his arms – despite his shoulder, he did not like her away from him. "What goes on behind those blue eyes of yours?"
She laughed out loud into the waning darkness.
"What? Why is that funny, I see not the jest?"
"I was just wondering at how we can almost read each other's minds, and then you ask what I am thinking!"
He smiled at her"I see; well, we had better get some more practice…" he leant over and rested his forehead against hers, looking deeply into her eyes. "What am I thinking now?"
She kissed him passionately, rubbing her thumbs along his tattoos "I love you too." she whispered; moving to be able to stroke his side with her hands, finding herself rewarded with a shudder.
"I think we are doing well" he groaned against her lips; his own hands running over her body………..
CRASH! The sound of pottery breaking against the wall could be heard from Lancelot's room above them.
"PIG!"
"WITCH!"
"BASTARD!"
"BANSHEE!"
Sandrina sighed and tried to move away from Tristan "Leave them!" he whispered, "let me love you San…" he smiled at her, seeing her waver.
"I HATE you, you PIG!"
"If I do not go and sort this out, they will kill each other!" she sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I cannot see a bad side to that."
"Tristan!" she went to slap him playfully, and he pulled her back into his arms, grimacing at the sudden pain in his shoulder.
"Does it hurt overmuch?"
"A little - 'but pain is good, when you are in pain you know you are alive" he mimicked her.
"Another jest Sir Knight!" She kissed him.
"I love you; do not ever forget that…"
"How could I? Even death could not keep us apart... Tris…" he kissed her hard, his hands started their roaming; but she wriggled free "Hold onto that thought; I will be quick, I promise."
She dragged on some clothes and quickly left the room; as she went he smirked as he heard her muttering "please God – let me be quick!"
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She hurried up the stairs as Dagonet came along the gallery "I was about to put a stop to it..."
"Do not worry – I will; I have had enough of this!" Just then she felt terribly sick, she shook her head and thankfully the feeling passed.
Dagonet shot forward "Are you well; you went very pale of a sudden?"
"I am well; a bit tired that is all - this" she gestured to the door "is wearing me out!"
CRASH! Another piece of pottery hit the door, causing San and Dagonet to step back.
"WHY DO YOU NOT JUST DROP DEAD!"
"IF I LIVED WITH YOU - I WOULD!"
"How long do you think they could keep this up?" He asked.
"God knows; too long, it seems to me…."
"I HATE YOU!"
"SO YOU KEEP BLOODY SAYING! WELL THE FEELING IS MUTUAL!"
"Right!" San had had enough, "I am going in and banging their sodding heads together!"
"Good luck, I will wait here in case you need me" though, by the murderous look on her face, he doubted it. Lancelot and Amila were going to deeply regret this, he smiled; watching her throw open the door and storm in - just as all the other knights and Odell came running, except Tristan who could hear it all clearly enough downstairs….
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The door flew open and in stormed Sandrina; just dodging a cup that was meant for Lancelot….
"STOP THAT!"
"I am sorry it was meant for him! It is HIS fault!"
"Oh I see! It is my fault because I DUCKED?!"
"AYE!"
"Shut up Lancelot!"
"What?"
"See? She is on my side…"
"Nay, I am not…"
"What?"
"Now you two listen to me and listen good, because I HATE repeating myself and if I have to I will be very upset; and if I GET very upset, someone will suffer - and do you know who that will be? It will be YOU TWO!
You will stop this fighting RIGHT NOW! You will stop screaming and shouting RIGHT NOW! If you do not stop it I am PERSONALLY going to BURY the pair of you up on Baden Hill; and I will not care very much if you are even bloody dead first!
I am very happy with my lover in our room beneath you; but it is not very romantic to have you two shrieking like banshees at each other, and throwing pottery about ALL THE BLOODY TIME!
If I have to come up here ONCE MORE I will kill you; and I do not mean the sort of 'kill you' in jest - I mean I will LITERALLY TAKE YOUR LIFE! BOTH OF YOU!" She was breathing hard, and she was seriously angry.
"Now find a way to get along as this is going to be all that there is for eternity; whether it is here or in Heaven is up to you - because if I have to come up here again……well, you know what I'll do and this lot" she jerked her finger to the knights behind her "will tell you I do not threaten or bluff, I PROMISE!"
Lancelot and Amila stood open mouthed at her "Oh, and by the by – Amila, your arm must be feeling better as you threw that cup with it, albeit a feeble throw!" She turned and stormed out.
Odell looked on in wonder as she pushed her way through them "She is very formidable when she is angry, is she not?" he asked the assembled Knights, including Arthur.
"You do not know the bloody half of it." Muttered Gawain.
"She could remove your lungs with a spoon if she felt like it; none of us tease her overmuch, that is for certain – and she loves us!" Added Galahad.
"She has a temperament about her that certainly keeps things ticking over" Arthur smiled diplomatically.
"Even I do not deliberately piss her off too often!" Laughed Bors.
Sandrina spun round on them"where were you lot before? I am NOT their bloody mother! You should ALL be sorting them out! Only Dagonet came to help!" She smiled gratefully at the large knight "where were the rest of you? I have a bloody good mind to bury ALL of you!" And she marched off.
"See?" said Galahad "Scary."
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Once back downstairs, she promptly walked to the washroom and was violently sick; Tristan was concerned, this had been the fourth day in a row that she was sick on and off all day.
"Are you well?" He struggled to get off the bed, as she sorted herself out and returned.
"I am fine; now where were we?" she leant over him forcing him to lay down again; just as Bethan and Lucan came running in…
"Mama, father? We are just off to see the horses for a bit, we will be back in a little while. Boy did you give Lancelot what for, we could hear you in the compound!" laughed Bethan and then they were gone.
"She is like a whirlwind."
"Aye, a scary one sometimes."
"Like her mother…."
"I do not scare you…I think you are the only one I do not scare!"
"Nay, you do not – whenever you get mad, I just imagine you naked…."
"Tris…." But she got no further.
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"I would not upset her again" said Arthur from the door "Something tells me she was not jesting. But then she has been breaking you two up for two weeks now."
"But…."
"You can almost touch the sexual tension between you two!" Laughed Bors "Tis half the problem - instead of fighting, start loving! Have many bastards like me; life will be good and you will not piss off San anymore, she will not get mad at us and everyone is happy!" he walked away laughing.
Odell just looked pointedly at his sister and walked away.
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Amila sighed as everyone left; she sat down on the bed and flexed her right arm. It was the first time she'd tried to use it in days, she had thought it would never work again. That she would be a cripple the rest of her life. That was what had made her so angry all the time, the thought of being a cripple; she could not bear it.
She flexed her arm again; it was weak, but she could move it about, and she had got a good shot in. She smiled at the memory of the look on Lancelot's face as he dodged the cup.
He sat down on the bed next to her "I do not think we should fight like that again; she really meant it this time, I know my sister all too well. I think next time we should just……walk away".
"I am sorry…."
"About what?" he was surprised; after two weeks of open warfare, he had not expected an apology for anything "That you missed me with the cup, or that you have just smashed up my room…..again?"
"I….your room?"
"Aye, it was the nearest one to bring you to." He changed the subject "we really upset her and I am sorry for it; I dearly love my sister."
"Really, sister?"
"Well, in all ways that count. She raised me from the dead, albeit on Merlin's orders, along with Dagonet and Tristan, she supports me and is always there for me when I need her. She is closer to me than family, she is my blood; and I am sorry for distressing her so.
She has had much to deal with of late, most of which you know, and I seem to be adding to it; with your aid. Though I have to say, I have enjoyed our little disagreements!" he laughed.
She smiled and sighed "are we bound for eternity?"
"Aye, according to San; I am sorry, if I had known how much you would loathe me I would have let nature take its course and just continued to hope you would recover."
"You wanted me to recover?"
"I did when you were sick; afterwards, was when I began to question the sanity of that thought! Pax, Pax!" he laughed raising his hands in defence, seeing her face tighten.
"But I do not actually loathe you; I just think you are an arrogant, selfish, bossy pig…"
What? Is that Woad speak for liking someone?" A smirk hovered around his lips.
He was sitting very close to her, she had to agree with the knight they called Bors, she definitely felt something when they were together – but she was a Woad, she was meant to be with her own kind; though Guinevere seemed happy enough with Arthur, she said as much "Guinevere seems happy….."
He stood abruptly, pain sparking in his eyes "aye, aye she does; I am glad".
"Ah, I see….."
"Nay, you do not see; she is the wife of my best friend, almost a brother - my commander and my king" he looked briefly out the window "I would never……could never…." rubbing a hand over his eyes he dipped his head in defeat "heed me not…just heed me not."
She suddenly felt very sorry for this knight; yes, he was arrogant and bossy – but he was deeply sad at the loss of one he loved. She understood that; had not she lost Almar, her betrothed, this last 12 month? This loss was worse for him; Almar was dead, she could think of him aye, she could - but in her mind he would always be true to her.
Whereas for Lancelot his loss walked about him every day, showing him how happy she was with another. His honour bound him not to try and reclaim her, and Alima admired his strength. She did not know if she could do it.
He was over at the window, staring out once more – she went to him and touched his arm. "Mayhap we should be friends now; what say you? If we make as good friends as we did enemies, we should get along very well!" She smiled.
Lancelot looked at her and had the overwhelming urge to hug her -- she could be undeniably adorable when she wanted to. He could feel the tension between them; he knew he had feelings for her. That was why he had fought with her so much; to avoid confronting that attraction. He felt he was being untrue to……
But that did not matter now. He could not think about that; but he could think about Amila. He wanted to hug her but he was unsure of her reaction, although she was holding out an olive branch. So he did; she stood still for a moment in the knight's embrace, and then hesitantly hugged him back. "Friends…" he said quietly in her ear "Aye, we will make the very best of friends."
She smiled against his cheek. "Aye, best friends…."
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Outside the room, Merlin smiled; it was a whisper thin line between love and hate, and he felt these two were finally crossing it.
This would not be the end of their squabbles; but another path was being followed as it should be - once again, San was working her own magic on the knights….
He looked out across the gallery, seeing her slowly helping Tristan to sit in the sun for a while; like her, the scout loathed being cooped in the room - but he also noticed the tall knight, Dagonet, watching them; his friendly face a mixture of pain and love.
He felt a sadness for the honourable man. He loved her, yet he knew and accepted he could not have her; that was torment indeed. If only he knew of Lancelot's suffering on a similar issue.
But he doubted Dagonet had even toyed with the idea of betraying Tristan by trying to usurp him in Sandrina's affections. Possibly because he knew he would be doomed to failure; that woman loved the scout to the very fibre of her being. Naught and no one would come betwixt them; he had counselled Odell on the matter only days before.
She weaved her magic around people that was certain, as did her daughter. Elementals both, Woads at heart; and he was glad of it.
Back in the room, Lancelot began to open up to the young woman stood next to him staring out the window at a new day….
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Fate's game plays on; the Knight and Woad's path still to follow to its end and now the one known as Dagonet takes his part, with the first three still playing their roles. All their paths mingling now…..
And so the wheels of Destiny move forward again…. Surprises in store for all……
