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'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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KING ARTHUR:
Fallen Knights Return
Chapter Twenty – Jealousy
It was a month after that last argument, that Lancelot and Dagonet tackled Tristan in the tack room.
"Where is San?" Asked Lancelot.
"Why?"
"We do not want her to hear us" volunteered Dagonet "You know how she gets when she thinks anyone is fussing."
"She is away with Bethan and Lucan - they went riding."
"Aye, I remember Lucan telling me now; they willl be gone a while then."
"So, what is wrong with her?" Lancelot again.
"I do not know…she has not said aught."
At that Gawain and Galahad came in "are you talking about San?" asked Gawain.
"Aye, because we are as worried as you – she seems powerful sickly of late." Galahad added.
"She appears depressed also, and she looks so ill…." Lancelot muttered.
"Even my Van is getting concerned; though I get the feeling she has her suspicions of what's occurring" offered Bors as he came in.
The first three knights sighed; they could never discuss Sandrina without all the others getting in on it too.
It was funny; she loved them all so much – particularly Tristan, which went without saying – but the three she had help raise, as they put it, felt they were special to her somehow. They were right; she felt kindred to them…..more than the others.
Except maybe Bors, who she adored because he was so horribly blunt and was so nice to her that first night. He adored her equally as much, after his Vanora. She was a warrior, a survivor; she brought his brother, his Dagonet, back - and she loved him and his fellow knights…that was enough for him.
"She keeps being sick; I heard her this morning again, after Tristan left." Amila joined them, along with her brother; all the knights looked at each other, smirking, as Lancelot's face lit up.
He walked over to her "How is the arm?"
"Still good enough to throw a cup at you – I am even working on a plate!" she laughed "But it is getting better…..just a little slowly."
"It is the sickness that is concerning all of us" said Dagonet, changing the subject. He was worried to death about Sandrina – for reasons he made sure the others did not know.
"She seems so tired all the time" added Odell "she used to go riding for hours, now it is only a short time…"
Tristan bristled; what was the Woad checking up on her for? Sandrina was no concern of his. He tried to control his jealousy – after all, he knew she loved only him.
At that, the topic of conversation entered the tack room. Her surprise at seeing all the knights, Odell and Amila congregated in the small space, was evident.
"I would have thought the Tavern would have been more comfortable and, at least, a little roomier!" She smiled.
Bethan and Lucan barrelled past with coincidental "Father!" before rushing to their respective male parents for hugs, drawing a silent 'aww' from the rest. Tristan's face remained as passive as always, but his eyes lit up at the sight of his two females.
"Hello Gawain! Courting anyone new yet?" Asked Bethan.
"Hello little scout." it had become his pet name for her; which the other knights, including Arthur, were also starting to adopt. It pleased her, as she hated being called child, or worse still - little maid.
"Nay, none at the moment, sadly – but mayhap when you are older?" He laughed, ignoring the glare he got from Tristan - and the one he got from Lucan.
"She's mine!" jealousy rising, Lucan stepped in front of Bethan, a mutinous look on his face.
"I am? Since when did that happen, no one has asked me?!" Bethan didn't know whether to be shocked or annoyed.
"I did not think I had to - I am nearly 10 now; you will be eight in a week. We have known each other for a year."
"So?"
"Well…I…" this wasn't going like he had planned. The knights all looked on amused; their little scout was not going to make this easy for the boy.
"Well, what?"
"I care about you…"
"And I you; but that does not make me yours…"
"Nay…I suppose it does not…." he was dejected. Dagonet felt for him, he glanced at San; who smiled encouragingly.
"It will be well." she mouthed.
Bethan flung her arms round his neck "but you know I love you Lucan."
"You do?" the boys eyes lit up; so much so that as Lancelot went to make a joke, Amila kicked him.
"OWWW! You vixen! What was that for?"
"Because I knew what you were thinking!" she hissed "do not!"
Tristan and Sandrina shared a knowing look, as they overheard the exchange.
"Of course I do; you are my best friend."
"Oh….well, I do not want to be your friend - so there." and he ran off.
"I better go after him" said Dagonet.
Sandrina touched his arm; he looked down at the small hand that held all their worlds without her even knowing - and wondered what they would all do if anything befell her?
"They will fare well enough, Dag - 'true love' and all that?"
He smiled sadly " 'never ran smooth'….aye I know it." he left. She felt for him, he always seemed so sad these days.
"What did I do?" Bethan was confused.
"He loves you as more than a friend, little scout." ventured Gawain, kneeling in front of her. She had become very attached to him since her father's injury; aside from Lucan, he had become her newest best friend. He treated her as her father did; like an adult, an equal, she liked that.
"Well, I love him also – so I do not understand…." Her face, though as impassive as her father's, had huge blue eyes that held the world….and also complete confusion.
Gawain hugged her "Oh, little scout – you will break a lot of hearts with looks like that! But as to your little companion, he does love you as more than I friend I think. Lucan went through much before he came to us and Dagonet…."
"I know he told me."
"Then you will also know that he is the sort of boy that when he gives his heart he does it only once, and forever…" he glanced at Tristan, and mock whispered "a bit like your father has with your mother." Tristan shot him a look, to which Gawain merely smiled.
"He loves me that much?" the awe in her voice caused Tristan to smirk.
"I think so, aye."
"Does that mean I will have to move furniture with him all the time…"
"What?"
"Well, Mama and father are always moving furniture around – though they do it much quieter these days; well, that is what Lancelot says, it is because they love each other they make all that noise moving the furniture….."
For a full four minutes, no one moved as they all went through what she was talking about - then Gawain bit his lip, as he remembered her conversation with Lucan; Lancelot who'd twigged immediately turned his laugh into a cough; he whispered to a confused looking Amila – who blushed bright red "Lancelot!"
One by one the knights realised, and one by one fought to keep a straight face; the only one who succeeded was Tristan. Though he did not dare look at Sandrina; he could feel the heat radiating off her face from where he stood!
"Umm….nay, you will not have to 'move furniture' with him for a good few years yet. In fact I think if you did it too soon your father would be helping Lucan find a spot on Baden Hill!" Sniggers went round the group.
He swallowed his laughter "so you see he loves you in a different way to how you love him…"
"Nay, he does not….."
"He does not?"
"Nay…..Lucan has always had my heart; I just thought he knew he was my best friend too. I better go and tell him, I do not like him to be sad when he does not have cause to."
They all watched her run across the compound to where he was sitting with his father, they watched her speak to him - then they watched him run at her so fast he knocked her off her feet.
"I would say he was happy with whatever she said…." Observed Galahad with a smile, to no one in particular.
Bors finally let his laugh loose, "Well, I am off to move some furniture with Van!" Tristan and Sandrina knew they would never hear the end of it now; and they had not even started it.
"Well, unless you are all planning on spending an evening in the tack room, I suggest we all meet in the tavern later…" she looked at Tristan "I have something to tell you now."
"She wants to move some furniture!" Galahad winked.
"Nay, but I do have something important to tell him - why I have been ill."
Tristan walked toward her "Tell me…"
"Not here…"
"Alright…" he sighed - he hoped she would well. They ambled away to their room.
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They stood in the tack room for some time; Lancelot looked at the other knights "Are we going to just stand here and not find out what is wrong with our sister?"
"But they have gone to their room." said Galahad.
"How many times have we listened at each others doors; are you Knights or mice!"
"This is different."
"Too bloody right it is; you know well what Tristan is – when does he ever say more than two words at a time? How will we find out what is wrong with her? You know what he will say: 'she fares well' or 'she is dead' – nothing more."
Amila smirked, but she didn't believe him; until she saw all the other knights nodding in thoughtful agreement.
They made their way to the door, but couldn't hear anything….
"This is bloody stupid!" muttered Bors.
"What is?"
They all turned to see Arthur watching them with an amused smile. Lancelot quickly explained - to their surprise their commander and king crowded to the door with them. He liked the woman a lot, and did not want to think of anything happening to her. They still couldn't hear anything….
Lancelot was not going to give up however, she was his sister and he would find out what was wrong with her.
He spied Bethan and Lucan running around in the compound "Knights, I think we have our spies!"
All eyes turned to the two children "You cannot!" Amila was horrified.
"What? It is an excellent idea - as mine always are!" He grinned.
"You cannot get her to spy on her own parents, Lancelot – that is wrong, that is wrong on so many levels I am shocked!"
"Sadly not to silence though" He smiled and held up his hands as she glared "it is this simple Amila; we all want to know what is wrong with Sandrina. We also know that Tristan will not tell us; or if he does, it will be the barest bones of it - when what we really want is the meat; and we now know that we cannot hear anything through this bloody door….except the odd sound, certainly not enough to work out what is being said. So what other option do we have?"
"Ask HER!"
"Shhhh….do you want them to know what we are doing! Ask who?"
"If it is not a problem, then why worry about them knowing - and the who, is Sandrina!"
"If she had have wanted to tell us, she would have done it in the tack room!"
"How do you know! Maybe she just wants to tell him first; he is her lover after all!" Bors noticed Dagonet flinch "so he has a right to know first!" she hissed right into Lancelot's face.
"I still think my way is better."
"You are the most stubborn, irritating man I have ever met!"
"Me? Stubborn?! I am not stubborn - I merely stand my ground!"
"Do not make me laugh! Stand your ground? You are so bloody stubborn you take root in it!"
"Goddess, they are off again!" Gawain groaned.
"What are you all doing? Are you two fighting again?" Bethan piped up, until Bors clamped a hand over her mouth whilst Dagonet shushed her.
All the knights exchanged looks and nodded to Lancelot, including Arthur….
"Bethan, do you love me?" he smiled as ingratiatingly as he could.
"What do you want Lancelot?" she sighed.
"Can you do us all a huge favour?"
"I do not know, can I?" a passive face regarded him.
'She was her mother's daughter alright' he thought. He smiled "We need to know what your parents are talking about in there, can you find out and tell us, there's a good little maid…."
Buttering her up was not a good way to get round Bethan; Amila noticed that Lancelot's charm worked no better on the daughter, than it did on the mother.
"Nay."
"Good…I….Nay?"
"Nay - I do not know what is going on, and I do not see why I should tell you if I did."
All eyes now turned to Gawain; if anyone could get round her it would be him. He sighed - kneeling down he addressed the small girl in front of him. He quickly thought how she looked and acted like Tristan; the same intense stare, only with blue eyes, the passive face…
"Bethan, we all think your mother is ill and we want to know for certain. Your father, whilst our friend and brother, is an intensely private man and we think he would not tell us - so we need you to find out…."
"Oh that! Why did you not say so first - I already know. They took me in and explained not long ago."
All eyes were now on her "and" prompted Gawain "how is she, little scout?"
"Well, I cannot tell you what it is – I gave my word. But I can tell you she is not sick or dying; does that help?"
"Aye." the young knight smiled.
"Nay, it does not – what is the matter with her?" Lancelot was getting exasperated.
"I gave my word; you would not have me break my word?"
"Nay" he sighed honestly "but she is well?"
"Aye, very well."
"So, why is it so quiet?"
Bethan tipped her head to one side listening, the Woad and the scout in her taking over "they are moving furniture again…."
"YOU PEEPING PERVERTS!" cried Amila, jumping back from the door.
Lancelot clamped a hand over her mouth "I will take this - patient of mine back to her room."
As he went to walk away pulling Amila with him, he let out a howl "She BIT me; the vixen bloody BIT me!" but there was laughter in his voice.
He went to run after her as she ran off laughing; but was stopped in his tracks by Bors - mulling things over in his mind, he suddenly made a connection……
"Bloody hell! San is PREGNANT!"
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Everyone stopped………dead "WHAT!"
"Nay!"
"Really?"
"Do you think so Bors?"
"He has had 11 bastards of his own so he should know if anyone does."
All eyes swung once again to Bethan, who was slinking away with Lucan, "Nay, I am not saying, I gave my word."
Dagonet had a thought "Lucan were you with Bethan?"
"Aye" He said slowly "I am always with Bethan…" The boy did not like the way this was going.
"Do you know what ails San?"
He looked at Bethan, he looked at his father - he was deeply torn, the two people he loved most in the world wanted him to say different things…
Bethan shook her head, folding her arms and scowling – Dagonet nodded, smiling.
He took a deep breath "I….I cannot say…..I cannot!"
"I knew you would not fail me!" Bethan threw her arms round his neck and squeezed. Then gave a triumphant look at the knights "You will just have to wait."
The door swung open and dishevelled Sandrina stood there - with a face like thunder "NAY, they will not! If I tell you, will you GO AWAY!"
All nodded – then her face broke into a huge smile "Bors is right; and Arthur? I am ashamed of you - listening at doors, and you a king!" Then she shut the door. But they could hear manly laughter as well as hers the other side.
Amidst all the whooping and hollering, Dagonet's sad smile made Bors' heart bleed.
"That is good news for them, indeed it is." was all he said quietly "Do you want to come to our room for something to eat Bethan, I think Lucan would like that?" and he walked slowly away, the two children talking excitedly around him.
Merlin stood on the gallery and watched – an honourable man. 'Sandrina you must help him', he thought.
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Amila went to Lancelot amidst all the noise "Did I hurt you badly?" she looked at his hand, there was a row of fine teeth marks in one of his fingers.
"Nay, I have had worse bites from a sword; but you have sharp teeth my lady!" he laughed, his face still alive with the excitement of Sandrina's news.
Her soft lips gently caressed his finger, causing him to breathe in sharply. "What are you doing?" he hissed.
"Kissing it better…." Her innocent eyes looked up at him as she continued to minister to his hand.
"Do you know what you do to me?" he ground out.
"The same as you do to me?"
"What!"
"I said…"
"I heard….but do you…I mean…I have…"
"Issues? I know; but I think I could help you deal with them…." She smiled that sweet smile she had. "You are not the only to one to have loved and lost."
"I am not?"
"Nay, let us go back to your…my…the room….and discuss it; it is not something I want to talk about here."
She took his hand and led him to the stairs. Odell watched them go "I hope he knows what he is doing" he smiled.
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And so the wheels of Destiny move forward again. Good news for one is not for another – and has love finally found Sandrina's brother?
