Disclaimer: As before please, for the love of God, don't keep making me write it out people:O) Milo is a 13th C. Name and one I think fits here quite well.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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KING ARTHUR:
Fallen Knights Return
Chapter Twenty-Eight– Coming Back
"Well, we hardly thought it would be a dog, Lancelot!" cried Gawain, laughing at the flustered knight "What is it? Boy or girl?"
"A boy…they have a son…and you, little scout – have a brother!" He grinned wildly at Bethan.
"Oh…." She was crestfallen, her worst fear realised.
"What is it little scout?" asked Gawain kneeling in front of her, ignoring the dagger looks from Lucan, "Why so sad?" he lifted her chin with his finger; green eyes regarded large blue ones as tears welled, but did not fall from them.
"Father will love him more – teach him to fight and scout! I will be consigned to….heal" she almost spat the word "and do 'women's work'!"
"Healing is no bad thing, little scout; where would your mother and Ilara be, where would we all be, without the healers - especially some such as Merlin?"
"But I want to be a warrior and a scout Gawain; that is all I want."
"I do not think it would be no bad thing to be a healer and stay away from the fighting. It will keep you safe - I would hate to worry about you as our fathers do our mothers now" offered Lucan.
Casting him a withering look that would curdle milk Bethan replied, "I will be a warrior Lucan, and a scout. If father will not teach me then I will find those that will. I am part Woad and Sarmatian - I can do anything!" She spoke proudly holding her head high in defiance, and bringing a smile to the lips of those assembled. "The Woads can teach me scouting and my knights can teach me fighting…." Her voice hitched at the last, and despite the defiance those with her saw her shoulders sag slightly in anticipated defeat.
"Wait, patience - speak to your father, Bethan; you may yet be judging him over harshly. The Tristan you spoke of on the trail, the brother knight I have known all my adult life, would not abandon you as you suggest – mark me, little scout. Wait?"
She flung her arms round his neck and they hugged tight "Aye, aye – I will wait Gawain. You give me good counsel; I wish I was more patient like you…."
"You are only nearing nine summers little scout; there is time aplenty to be the adult! Now how about I go and see if you may yet see your baby brother and your mother?"
She nodded, ignoring the murderous looks she and Gawain were getting from Lucan. He strode forward "Why do you not let me comfort you?" he hissed "Always Gawain gets to speak to you, comfort you and guide you!"
The other knights looked on at the very first lover's tiff between the two companions. They knew from the darkening of the blue of Bethan's eyes she was becoming angry "I will not tolerate your meddling anymore Lucan! I love Gawain; he is my best friend in the whole world!
For God's sake, I am not yet nine and he is four and twenty! He is 15 years older than I! I will not leave my knights so you can feel secure in my love for you, Lucan! I am not a 'pretty little girl' who likes to sit and gabble with other 'pretty little girls'; I like to fight, ride and scout which means I mix with boys – you will have to accept that if you wish to remain my chosen…." She paused for breath "otherwise, go find a 'pretty little maid' to stroke your ego. For I will not!" She marched off toward her parent's room; leaving Lucan in stunned silence in her wake.
"She is her mother's daughter and no mistake!" Grinned Galahad to Arthur.
Arthur rolled his eyes "he will learn, as we all do!"
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Gawain put his head round the door, "Can Bethan come and see you…" his eyes fell on the bed "Oh Dear Goddess!"
There was blood everywhere; Tristan's face though masked as usual, held eyes that were full of pain as Vanora and Merlin worked to stem the bleeding.
Merlin glanced round "it is bad, but we are winning. Do not let the child in here….it is too much to see, even for her."
Gawain swung round to Bethan, ashen faced and a forced smile plastered on it. "They are not quite ready for us it seems little scout…" he took in the mutinous look of Bethan and the open mouthed Lucan behind her. "Had a fight?"
"Aye" her eyes strayed to the door, so he moved in front of it "it is bad, is it not?" she whispered to him.
Gawain knelt down before her, momentarily undecided; he had never lied to his Bethan before, but…. what he had just seen…..this was different, yet she trusted him to always speak as true as her father would. "Aye, it is….but Merlin says they are winning."
"I do not want to lose them; I did not mean it!" her arms snuck round his neck and she burrowed her head into his shoulder.
"Mean what; oh, about your brother! That has not caused this Bethan – it is just bad luck naught else. All will end well; your mother gave us all a scare like this before did she not and that turned out alright, did it not?" he hugged her tightly back, stroking her hair.
She nodded into his shoulder, he could feel her tears wetting his shirt – she was a funny little thing; would never cry about a hurt no matter how bad the injury, but would weep if she thought she had brought unnecessary pain to others.
"Shall we go and practice with Galahad? I promise I will bring you back in a little while." They walked off hand in hand, unlikely friends by any standards – the young knight and the younger girl; but their friendship was deep now and would always run true. Both knew either would lay down their life for the other.
Lucan stood looking on, clenching and unclenching his hands. Arthur approached him "Bethan is devoted to her knights – they are her kin; Gawain particularly, after her own father of course - if you try to part her from them, you will lose her forever."
He patted the boy on the back "Do not fret so Lucan; Little Scout loves you considerably, but alas she is her mother's daughter – you cannot hope to master her. Tristan has never tried, has always accepted her mother loves him and him alone – try to do the same and she will return, mark me."
The youngster nodded "I could not lose her and my mother, my Lord" tears welled in his eyes, though he would not let them fall in front of his king.
Arthur gripped his shoulder, "I doubt you will lose either. Merlin, your father would not permit it. If anyone is likely to lose aught here this day, it is Bethan." He walked grimly away.
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Merlin smiled thinly inside the room. "We have stopped the bleeding, it should settle back to its normal loss after a birthing now. Hopefully if she lasts the night she will recover fairly quickly."
He turned to Tristan, the smile leaving "She has too much damage inside; what has happened to her in the past - it is like Ilara, they have ripped them inside. She will not even be able to conceive again Tristan, I am sorry boy, but…there will be no more children."
"You think all I care for are more bastard children?" hissed the scout, anger in his eyes, leaping to his feet "You think she is not more important to me than that? I would not want him if I had known his birth could carry her off from me". He pointed to his baby son.
"I have two children, more than I ever thought…" he sat down again, the fury fading as quickly as it had flashed "I need no more…"
"Tris?" Sandrina whispered "What did we have?"
"A son; big too…" he smiled.
"Like his father; big and strong and full of life…" her dim eyes twinkled then darkened slightly "I am so tired."
"Then sleep, but not for long – for I do not want death to steal you away whilst you slumber and cannot fight it."
"As long as you are with me, death has no power here…" she grasped his hand before sleep took her, though her grip barely lessened.
Merlin and Vanora smiled at each other; she would fight…..and she would come back to them.
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Merlin came out to be confronted by frantic knights wanting news; Bethan and Gawain had returned, though she was studiously ignoring Lucan. "How fares she?" asked Lancelot first "How fares my sister?"
"It is not good, there will be no more children for them – though I doubt he cares" he gestured to Tristan in the room "if she lives through this night, she will recover. But I cannot forget the part the Romans have played in this Arthur."
"How so?"
"Both she and Ilara have been…..brutalised; it is a wonder that Sandrina was able to have any children at all. Ilara will have no more herself; this infection will leave her barren." The Shaman spoke grimly.
Arthur nodded "But they both will live? She will live?" he tipped his head toward the room behind the old man.
The smile returned to the shaman as he surveyed the worried faces "Aye, it is likely - if they survive the night."
They all clapped each other on the back; Gawain picked Bethan up and swung her round and round. Lancelot hugged Amila tight. "I do not want you to go through this; I wish no children…." He whispered into her hair as he drew back. Amila stared at him with a fixed smile and worried eyes…..
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Merlin hurried back to Ilara "How does she fare?"
"Quite well; her fever seems to have stopped rising" Dagonet looked exhausted.
"You should rest, you will be of no use to her if you collapse or sicken yourself. Her waking may be swift, should she live, but her recovery slow. She will need you more than ever".
"Do as the man says Dag - we can stay. How is San?" Bors asked; Dagonet stopped.
Merlin frowned "Her problems stem from a similar cause to Ilara – she too, if she survives, will not be able to have any more children…" both men with him nodded, knowing what had happened to San – but shocked at this turn of events "she is bad, but willing to fight – she has just told Tristan that death holds no power over her so long as he is with her." A hint of pride could be heard in his voice.
"Aye; that is my feisty little wench!" Bors clapped Merlin on the back, causing the Shaman to smile despite himself – he still marvelled at the utter devotion all the knights had to Sandrina and her daughter "I knew she would not give in so long as we got that bloody scout of hers to her!"
Dagonet went to lay down on the floor at the foot of the bed, whilst Merlin ministered to Ilara. A while later he touched her forehead, it was definitely cooling.
He roused Dagonet "Her fever has broken; she should begin to wake soon." Dagonet was on his feet by the bed in moments, holding Ilara's hand in his.
Her eyes fluttered open an hour later "Dagonet?" she whispered "What happened? I feel so ill."
"You were my sweet woman, you were – but it is over now you will mend." Dagonet sighed with relief.
"How bad was I?"
"You were sick, an infection…."
"Where…where was the infection?" she hesitantly in confusion "I have had no wounds."
Dagonet and Bors, who had not left his side, exchanged a look. Ilara did not miss it "What is it Dagonet? Please tell me…" She became tearful.
"I will leave you Dag, my Van will need me…." He nearly said 'to help with the children' but stopped himself.
"Thanks Bors…" Dagonet looked up with gratitude, friendship and brotherhood in his eyes, but the most was sadness; sadness that brought a lump to Bors' throat. "I appreciate aught you have done…"
"I have done naught one brother would not do for another" he said gruffly, and he stomped off cursing Dag and Ilara's bad luck, for they would have been wonderful parents to one of their own just as they were to Lucan.
Dagonet sighed as he looked at the woman he adored with all his heart, but his honour would not allow him to lie. It was awful, but they would face it together; at least they would be together - just hours ago even that had looked almost hopeless. Aye, with her by him he could face even this.
"You collapsed in the Tavern, just as Sandrina went into labour. Merlin has found the infection is…..is…." he was never very good at delicate matters "it is, umm, where you would carry a babe. It was down to the Romans……hurting you. The infection lay dormant, something unknown triggered it.
You….you will not be able to have any more children, Ilara." Her eyes had widened as he had slowly recounted her illness, what Merlin had found, the fact he knew her secret shame and the ramifications of it all.
She turned from him then "Do not look at me, Dagonet - I am a worthless wretch! I am defiled and cannot even give you your own flesh and blood! You deserve better than I!"
The fear of losing her, the worry of her illness, the sadness that he would never hold his own blood finally broke out of the knight; seizing her arms he turned her abruptly to him "You are not worthless!" he cried "you are no wretch! You are most certainly not defiled! Not in my eyes, nor anyone's here.
Sandrina is in a similar state, she may yet die and cannot have any more children all from being used, abused and defiled by many Romans. But she will hold her head high, and so will you!
I love you more than I can ever say – I do not care what happened to you before I met you. Well, I care that they hurt you and caused you so much pain, but I do not care about not having more children….I have Lucan. He is my son as far as I am concerned, and I have you – what more do I bloody need?"
He hauled her into his arms "I love you Ilara, so much it hurts me. Why would I not want you now?" he hugged her so fiercely she had trouble breathing, but she hugged him back whispering her love of him too. They stayed like this for some time, unaware of a small face at the door.
Lucan watched silently; his own heart hurt to see his mother and father so upset – but he was also happy to know his father loved him so much. Though he would have liked to have had a sibling; he felt tears in his eyes, but angrily wiped them away.
A hand touched his shoulder; he spun round to find Bethan staring at him. "Why do you creep up on people like that? What are you doing here anyway?" He was still angry at her.
"I followed you…."
"I see that!"
She put her arms round him and hugged him tight. "I heard them, but you will always have me Lucan, always. I could always share my brother with you….."
"That is not what you said earlier!" he tried not to hug her back but his anger was waning, just staring into those big blue eyes was always his undoing, and his arms went round her waist unconsciously "you said I could choose someone else; I understood you not to want me."
"I will not be owned Lucan, and sometimes your jealousy makes me feel like that. But you are a good person and I love you."
"You love him so much also…." He referred to Gawain.
"Aye, I do; he is very important to me. But I love you in a different way."
"As a friend…I forgot." He noted sarcastically.
"Not only as a friend; you want us to marry one day, you say so often. Well, so do I." She smiled.
"Really?"
"Aye, but we will have to be quite old…."
"How old?"
"About 16 or 17!" she grinned.
He hugged her hard and kissed her forehead "I can wait; and I will be better." They walked off with their arms round each other back to her parent's room; unaware they were being watched.
Arthur smiled; everything always worked out for those two. He just hoped the same could be said for their parents.
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"Come and meet your brother, Bethan" Said Tristan, as she stuck her head round the door. Sandrina and the bed had been cleaned up and all looked well.
Lucan pushed her through "I will be here" He smiled.
She walked over to the little crib and looked at the chubby baby in it. He gurgled and she felt overwhelming love for the little boy looking at her, but was also still worried. "So he is your favourite now…." She'd not realised she'd said it out loud until she saw the confused look in her father's eyes "It makes no matter, I cannot help but love him anyway." She smiled sadly.
Tristan pulled her onto his lap as realisation dawned, "You know you will have to teach your brother to scout as I teach you. The same goes for your bow, sword and dagger work…"
"Really? You will still teach me? But he is yours!" She exclaimed, shocked.
"Aye, and so are you." they hugged.
San's eyes fluttered open "Little scout; what do you think of your brother?"
"He is lovely, and father still loves me!"
"I told you…." her eyes shut again, her breathing laboured.
"I do not want to sleep on my own, but you will not need me here and what of the baby; has he a name?"
"You can stay with me little scout," Gawain's head appeared at the door "Lucan too, we can all sleep in the hay in the stable tonight. Agreed?"
"Aye, but can I stay for a bit with Papa?" she had started using her pet name for her father more and more recently.
"I will come back for you. By the way Tristan, what is the child's name?"
The scout thought for a moment "Milo; it was my brother's name."
Gawain, Lucan and Bethan went the crib "Hello Milo!" Bethan smiled at the little boy.
"How will we feed him until mama is well?" asked Bethan.
"Vanora has offered to help him to feed from your mother. Your mother will be well soon Bethan."
"I know it; she has you here now. She will always fight to be with you Papa; all who know her, know that." The girl smiled.
Gawain watched as the scout hauled her onto his lap, and hugged her tight. He suddenly realised what Bethan had been talking about when talked earlier in the forest; the man before him loved them deeply. The young knight quietly left the room, taking Lucan with him.
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And so the wheels of Destiny turn on. Her path is shortening rapidly now; but what of the women lying in beds with their worried partners by them?
