Because behind her lavender eyes,
Were thousands of rendered lies,
And when she tries to speak the truth,
A shattered heart is the fruit.
It had been a month since the wedding of the Hyuga and the Uchiha, yet it was still the talk of the village.
Why would it not be? Konoha had never seen such a beautiful wedding after long decades. A matrimony amongst the most powerful clans and the richest clans is not something the villagers would see every day — and it is understood that it was one of the rarest events ever. Aside from that, they would not forget the fact that winter weddings and white weddings were very much uncommon in the fire country.
If the histories were not fabricated, then another fact that the villagers would consider is the common knowledge that weddings featuring both of the clans were kept to a limited audience. However, the recent wedding was open to the public — a stunt.
It was upon the belief of the elders of the family with the byakugan that it would be better if they held the ceremony during winter and everyone could go, theorizing that it should be in public to spread the news like wildfire and it would be held under a snowy night to lessen up the people. Still, the goal was achieved.
The long winter they had expected was inaccurate. Almost a week or two after the wedding, the snow began to melt away, but the chill was still there up until the third week. The elders thought of this as a sign and gift from the gods: a merry and warm life to the newly weds. If only that's the case.
"So. . .it's been a month," Ino started, smirking at the blue haired girl. "How's married life going on for you?"
From the cup of tea Hinata was holding, she looked up to the blonde. The normal smirk Ino was wearing became a mischievous smirk. Her cerulean blue eyes glistened as if she were teasing the shy woman. Well, she really was teasing. Although some people had claimed that Hinata had always been goof at handling situations.
"It's nice," Hinata answered, flashing her usual shy smile before sipping in her tea.
"By nice you mean. . .?" Sakura started, throwing the only married girl between them a curious glance.
"Define nice," Ino demanded with a challenging tone.
"Goodness Ino, Sakura, stop teasing the poor girl!" Tenten exclaimed, slapping her hand in the table, shaking it a bit. Hinata almost felt grateful upon the action until Tenten looked at her and said, "Well, Hinata? Do tell."
Blushing furiously at her friends, Hinata drank her tea empty. Was she about to spill something? No, definitely not. And she doubt there would be much to tell anyways.
So it had been a month since the wedding, and that meant it had also been a month since they first kissed. The last kiss they shared was when Hinata was completely bare and they slept together in one bed. Surprisingly, that went well.
Of course since their wedding, they would sleep together in one bed, even after their honeymoon. There were even times when Sasuke would wrap his arm around her shoulders when they slept — one thing that she noticed in their first night together. But she cannot deny the fact that even though a month had already passed, he still haven't touched her the way a husband would.
Sometimes her insecurities would conquer her mind. Why hadn't he touch her? Hinata would not know, and she doubt she would have the courage to ask.
Maybe if she was more like Tenten who can speak her thoughts out when she wants to, or Sakura who could build her own confidence by herself and would just ask right away, or more like Ino who had always been confident about herself.
"What is it like to be married to Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked Hinata, her smirk turning into a grin. "I have envisioned marrying him when I was young but what is it like?"
She did not like the way Ino pushed her through the topic. The main objective why she went to their get-together — even though Sasuke showed some disdain towards the idea — was to have fun and get out of the house. It was no secret that the Uchiha bride barely got out of the house. Even when she did her training, it was by their backyard.
"Ino, you pig!" Sakura called loudly, smacking the head of the blonde slightly. In return, Ino let out a frustrated groan. As she was about to speak, Sakura continued, "You can't just say that out loud!"
"Hate to break it up to you, forehead girl! In case you haven't noticed, I already have!" Ino huffed before turning her head towards Hinata. Upon settling the eyes upon the Uchiha lady, she calmed herself and continued, "Okay, sorry for saying that. But I'm just curious, 'ya know?"
"Not a problem at all," Hinata squeaked softly, tugging a thick lock of her midnight blue hair in her ear. "It's not really that much of a big deal."
"And?" the only brunette asked.
For several seconds, Hinata wondered if Tenten was pertaining that her sentence with a rather incomplete thought, but then she realized they must be talking about Sasuke. To be exact: her married life with Sasuke.
"It's nice," Hinata said, repeating what she had said earlier. Ignoring the responsed grunts and sighs of her friends, she continued, "Not really what I have imagined."
Scratch that. It's a complete lie. It's somehow true that she did not really think much of the wedding before it happened, but no, she did not imagine anything at all.
Heck, Hinata was not even scared of what yet's to come almost two months ago. Had she never thought that there would be something between the Sasuke and her. All she know is the fact that what is bound to happen will always happen.
"Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" Ino asked, raising one of her eyebrows. Sakura glared at her, making her say, "I'm just asking. Besides, Hinata doesn't have to answer. It's not like I'm asking what stage of intimacy they are having now or whatever. I'm just really curious on how they spend their breakfasts, lunches, dinner, or whatever. Do they cuddle and all those things couples do? Knowing Sasuke, no offense Hinata, he does not seem to be that type."
"None taken," Hinata assured the blonde kunoichi quickly, almost too quickly. For several moments, she hesitated. But her friends would not be such a drag in this one. So she continued, "It's nice to wake up and he's the first thing I see."
No, that's not a complete lie. It was pretty nice.
There would be times when the wife would just look at her husband longingly — but it's kind of normal with Hinata — and watch him sleep. His bangs would be all over the place and that would sometimes make her wonder why is it that when he wakes up, everything would automatically fall right into place.
Because the windows of their bedroom in their own house were always open, the first thing the sun would touch is his side of the bed, complimenting his pale skin.
"I hadn't expected that," Tenten muttered, snapping Hinata out of her thoughts. "Especially coming from you."
"I think it's cute," Sakura honestly said.
Looking at her pink haired friend for the briefest moment, Hinata immediately saw that there was a small amount of sadness in her eyes. Someday she will be talking to her, not now though. The newly wedded wife still had plenty of things in her plate.
And that was one thing she learned from her father: the defense mechanism of always putting what's best in every situation first. Not a good kunoichi motto, but effective nonetheless.
"Does he cook?" her blonde friend asked enthusiastically, as if she was waiting her question to be answered because there would be a lot of following up questions later.
"Sometimes?" she replied, hesitation clearly in her voice.
Sasuke cooked whenever he felt like it. The first time he cooked was when they were away for their honeymoon — in the exclusive rental house. It was their third night at the house when Sasuke suddenly stood up from the bed while Hinata was reading one of the books in the shelves and went straight to the kitchen.
Since the whole house was very much isolated because of the snow, the aroma of what Sasuke was cooking was all over the place. Even from the second floor bedroom, Hinata could smell what seemed to be like soup and fish. And though they already had their dinner, Sasuke went back to the room and bought her some which she gladly ate.
Her father would be enraged at the thought of eating at her bed, but she was married now. And though Sasuke's cooking wasn't exactly what you call superior, the skills were there.
"Is he the clingy type?" Ino asked, her curiosity now much visible in her tone. "Or not? I never really thought Sasuke would be one."
"I think it's a habit of his to put his arm around my shoulders." She bit her lip shyly. Knowing that this little fact would not surpass the contentment of the three, or two, or maybe just Ino, she continued, "Especially when we sleep. . .uhm, that's it."
In the course of four weeks, Sasuke would sometimes put his hand atop her hand and would let go after a few seconds. Or when they would stare at each other at night — which Hinata, only realized now — his hand would stay in her cheeks for a few seconds, sometimes it would even last minutes. But he isn't exactly what one would call clingy.
"I've actually seen the both of you before the wedding," shared Sakura, taking a bite out of her bread. "You were walking hand in hand and it was somehow unexpected."
"More like arm in arm," Tenten corrected, her brown eyes widening as a mannerism. "We were together when we saw them. We just got home from a mission."
Hinata could not think of any event when they walked arm in arm — as Tenten would call it — aside from when they ordered flowers from Ino. The rest of the wedding preparations were done inside the compound. Including the measurements of their kimonos and the tasting of food.
"It's just nice to know arranged marriage works out," the pink haired girl commented.
As much as Hinata wanted to say something, she couldn't. Instead, she just nibbled on the food with a soft smile.
"Have you fought yet?" asked Ino. "I mean it's normal, but I just wanna know."
"Once. . ." Hinata answered, forcing herself not to shut her eyes at the memory.
It was not really a fight, but it was still too much for Hinata.
Around four days of their stay at their new house, Hinata stood by the fish pond in their backyard. The fact that she had nothing to do inside the house lingered on her mind, so she went outside.
"It's getting late," her husband who was leaning at the doorframe of their backdoor had told her before disappearing.
The simple phrase meant only one thing: get inside.
He would say these words whenever she was outside and training and he basically wanted her to get inside — at least that's what Hinata's interpretation. She would always follow after some time, but this time, she did not want to.
A good wife, that was her aim. To be one. Though does it always have to be this hard?
But the salmon skies were just not enough to make her go inside. The sun was already kissing the mountains from afar. Whilst some parts of the skies were still blue, the pinkish tones and orange spots made their way to overlap the usual color.
It was when the moon was already visible and the stars were beginning to show up when Hinata decided to go inside, her feet wet from the pond water. The ghost of her smile from the small. . .fun she had was almost visible.
"It's late," he told her without glancing. He was in one of the cushions, his eyes on a scroll Hinata did not know of.
"I'm sorry," Hinata replied, her lips forming a thin line.
"Don't," Sasuke said without preamble. "Don't apologize when you know you've understood what I meant the first time around yet still chose to rebel."
The disappointment in his tone was evident. At first, Hinata chose to not mind it. When the night came creeping in though, she found herself not being able to sleep at the mere thought that Sasuke had showed her a side she never thought he'd show her.
Oh who was she anyways? Hinata might be his wife, but only in the papers.
"Is he good in bed?" asked Tenten nonchalantly, stealing her thoughts away.
The bright colored haired girls looked at the brunette, mouth agape. A very red Hinata could only stare as Tenten didn't seem to mind what she had just asked and just proceeded on putting enough sugar in her tea. The pregnant pause did not seem to alarm Tenten at first, and when it finally did, she looked at the kunoichis.
"You were certainly going to ask that anyways," Tenten deadpanned. "Or not, but both of you thought of it."
"I did n—"
"Or maybe just Ino," Tenten said coolly, cutting Sakura off.
"I would never!" Ino said, her jaw dropping at what Tenten said. Recovering from her shock, she flashed her wide smile to Hinata. "Yes I did, but whatever Tenten, I was never gonna ask that anyways. I still have a bit dignity left, and I would rather not do anything that would destroy it. My poor poor dignity."
"Never thought you really cared," Tenten thought out loud, receiving an eye roll from Ino. "Sorry for that, Ino. Anyways, it's just. . .a lot were curious since this is the first time Konoha had seen you go out, Hinata."
So people were starting to wonder, Hinata thought. They have the rights to do so, yet it still felt a little bit over the boundaries. So people had assumed that they were very much active since only Sasuke goes out.
"Okay but are we allowed to ask Hinata about her sex life?" Sakura asked, raising a brow at the bruenette and the blonde. "Isn't that a little too blunt? It's like asking something confidential about an S-ranked mission."
Chuckling softly at the comparison, the only one who was wedded in their clique continued to eat her bread.
Goodness did she miss these type of moments with her friends. They rarely had time in the years of being friends because of several reasons. One being the fact that they were always away, or training, or with dates — mostly, Ino. Even if they chose to hang out, there would always be those moments wherein somebody would call them because of a certain mission.
Missions. Oh how she missed those.
It dawned on her. That must be the best way to stray away from their topic.
"H-how's your missions by the way?" she asked, biting her lips slightly at the thought that she initiated the first phrase in the new conversations.
"Oh fine fine," Sakura replied, shrugging slightly before pouring Hinata another cup of tea. "I've only had escorts these past few weeks. Or rescues. Though there's not really a lot of reports so I think everything's alright for a while."
"Nothing's right all the time," Tenten said in a matter of factly, taking a sip in her cup of green tea. "But the missions are far better than before."
"Yeah I have volunteered several times for the past few weeks," Ino said, squaring her shoulders. "I'm kinda proud, by the way."
"Volunteered?" asked Hinata.
"It's kinda common these days — to volunteer in certain missions. The elders thought of it rubbish, not for us though." A wide smile plastered over Tenten's face. "So if they're in need of nins, instead of picking out, they ask for volunteers. Well, voluntary missions are mostly light missions. So far, everyone's okay and it seems like it's only us who gets hyped up by this volunteering thingy."
"Same goes with Naruto," Sakura said and Hinata almost choked, but kept it to herself. And it seemed like none of her friends even noticed. "It's the same old same old. Can't get enough of missions, but I think it's because he's somewhat blaming himself for the nins who died. It's a distraction — is that the word?"
At the mention of Naruto, Hinata almost sputtered her tea. Goodness, that would be very embarrassing. She was a married woman now, but she couldn't help but look back at those days. . .
"I've heard right then," Tenten muttered.
It was a perfect opportunity to speak.
"But he shouldn't," Hinata said, mouth slightly agape. "He's not the one who provoked the war, thus the killings."
"Eh you know Naruto, one second he's fine, the next he's not," Ino said in a matter-of-factly. "We don't know what's going on in his mind. After all, none of us in here really wanted to know him back then. I'm kinda ashamed of how I've treated him in the past, honestly."
"None of us?" echoed Tenten. Her hand swayed in the air before landing just below Hinata's chin. "Hinata liked Naruto."
Tenten is one of the most lovable girls Hinata has ever met, yet her straightforwardness can be such a pain.
"Even I gotta admit, I was nowhere near nice to Naruto when we were kids," Sakura mumbled, her cheeks flushed at the thought. She hid under her hair when she continued with a, "I should have not done that."
Hinata's thoughts drifted away as some thoughts began to overlap in her mind. The thoughts then began to land on her husband. This morning, when she had announced that she might go out with her friends, he looked at her with a hint of surprise as his visible eyebrow rose.
"A letter arrived yesterday morning," Hinata replied at his questioning stare. "It's a late notice."
"Where's this letter you're talking about?" he asked, still not convinced. With the letter in Hinata's prepared hands, he grabbed it. After scanning the whole thing, he continued, "I'll walk you home after your get-together."
The bitter tone did not come unnoticed, but he did not seem to want to hide it too.
As Hinata was changing, Sasuke gave her time before he entered the room.
"You're an Uchiha," he told her, dropping a set of clothes with the well-known feared crest stitched on the back. "Wear what you are ought to wear."
"Thank you," said Hinata sincerely. The man who stood in front of her visibly stiffened. Brushing the thoughts away, her hands crawled at the pieces of clothing in her lap.
The choice of colors almost made her smile. Shades of purple, grey, blue, and white. Much like she really was.
She did what she was told. After all, it was upon the rules and the etiquette of a married lady of the Hyuga clan to do what the husband wants to do. Maybe she was now an Uchiha, and there would be no changing that anymore. Still, it was a part of her role to do what a husband wants.
There were a lot of wrongs in the Hyuga community. As Hinata grew older, she had noticed it. Some were even too sexist to begin with. With Naruto as the training Hokage — as the current Hokage, Hatake Kakashi would call it — and his promise to Neji that one day he'd change the system, Hinata still wished it would still happen.
"'Nata?" called Sakura, waving her hand in front of the Uchiha bride's face. "You okay? You were spacing out."
"Uh. . .yes," Hinata confirmed, sipping from her cup of tea.
"Doesn't seem like it," Ino commented, pulling her seat a little bit closer to Hinata. "Now tell us about it."
Ino's perseverance is something one should not underestimate. Everyone knew of the little fact.
"Neji-nii…just crossed my mind," Hinata lied. Well, it was not a complete lie either. There was a small thought of him anyways. "I kind of still miss him."
"I still do, too," Tenten said with a small sad smile. "We all lost someone and I don't even know if I have the rights to grieve. He was just my. . .friend and teammate."
But everyone knew that Tenten and Neji crossed more lines than that. For now, it needn't to be pointed out. There was no point anymore. It was not something their circle could use as a joke.
"We understand." Ino nodded at her own words before continuing, "I have regrets, too. Especially about my father. I haven't been the best daughter and Kami knows how many headaches I gave him. But you know? He saved a lot. . .and I-"
When the blonde woman stopped, Hinata turned to look at her. Her long blonde bangs was now covering all of her face and she had her eyes on her lap. There was nothing she could do, for one tap at the back would provoke the tears. Words were no better.
"I just h-have a lot in m-mind," Ino said, almost losing her voice at the end of the phrase. Pushing her hair aside and wiping her tears, she lift her head up again and looked at the girls with a faint redness on certain parts of her face, "And I'm really thankful for Sai. . .he's always been there for me."
There was no reason to envy. Hinata was married, even if it was loveless.
"You know he draws free portraits for those who lost someone in the war," Ino stated, a small proud smile on her lips. "Even if he's too busy with his ANBU missions, he finds time to draw. Not only portraits, but also memories."
"Memories?" asked Sakura, obviously intrigued by the information.
"It doesn't usually happen but when I'm at his place and there's a knock on the door, asking for a drawing. I look onto someone's memories and go inside Sai's mind and you know the process," Ino said, her eyes dangling with excitement and the ghost of sadness from earlier. "Long story short: it's a teamwork."
"Never really thought Sai would end up dating you." Sakura smiled. "It's cute though."
"Hell yeah it is, forehead," Ino said, smiling. "We don't choose whom we love after all."
At this, Ino gave Hinata a small friendly stare before chugging on her drink. And Hinata knew that they knew that it wasn't love. But whatever Ino gave, made Hinata's heart leap.
After some time, they had a lot of musings. Hinata was then almost thanking the gods before them, for they did not talk about the marriage between her and Sasuke anymore. It wasn't until Tenten spoke, her eyes brooding with something Hinata had never seen in her before.
"We were worried about you," Tenten said, her voice draped with seriousness. "All of us."
With furrowed eyebrows, she locked eyes with each and one of her friends, hoping she would see one clue about them. But as her eyes met different colors, the wedded woman finally figured there would not any explanation unless she wanted to know.
"But why?" asked Hinata, her gaze slowly falling to her lap.
"You're too distracted," Tenten pointed out.
"And you never left your house," answered Sakura. "There's a lot of rumors, Hinata."
At first, Hinata thought it was a good thing that they were being talked about. Not that she liked attention, but she thought it was good that the townspeople thought of their relationship a working one.
"There are lecherous ones, of course, it's quite common with the old ladies," mused Ino with a smirk before it faded. "There are positive ones, too. But the negative ones. . ."
"I understand," Hinata said slowly, hoping she would not cut off Ino's unfinished sentence.
"You don't," Sakura corrected. "Not in our sense."
"Can you at least. . ." paused Hinata for a moment to sigh. "Try to explain?"
"We invited you, not simply because we miss your company, but because we were worried about your wellbeing," the brunette said nonchalantly, her eyes on the kettle in her hand as if she wasn't talking to them at all. "We know how Sasuke can be. We asked you about your marriage with him because we could not stand the fact that you were married to him. . .and arranged, that is."
"If what you said was true about your time with him," Ino said, her message almost forming into a murmur. "If you're saying that it's working out, then there's not much problem."
No it's not working out at all, Hinata wanted to say but held her tongue. Whatever happens between her and Sasuke would stay between them. Her friends were another thing, but she'd rather not tell them anything.
And it's not working out because she could not read him, and she'd rather know him than ask about him. That is, if he would be willing to let her know him.
Would he or would he not?
That's the thing about Sasuke and Hinata, they were very complicated. Two different identities with very different complications.
Tenten grabbed the kettle of tea once more to pour Hinata's empty cup when her brown eyes landed somewhere behind Hinata's back.
"Is that Sa — your husband?" asked Sakura, looking over Hinata's shoulders.
Her heart pounded loudly against her chest and she felt the heat in the tips of her ears. Maybe Hinata never felt this way when she knew he was there, but when she's surprised, she could not help herself.
Slowly, Hinata's head turned around. The pair of dark eyes met her pale ones.
Sasuke stood from the doorway of the eatery they were at. And he looked like he just came by. The Uchiha bride knew better than to disappoint her husband, after that incident. . .she wouldn't. . .ever again.
With a nod, a little farewell, and assurance dedicated for her friends, Hinata stood up and went over her husband's direction.
Dark clothes, dark hair, dark eyes. Everything about him was screaming dark.
His hand, once again, was hanging in the air. The scene was familiar, and it was just like yesterday when she wished she would learn how to love him. But as their moments together passed by, it was beginning to feel hopeless.
Intertwining her arms in his, Hinata almost smiled when they started walking.
"Where to, next?" asked Sasuke with his voice as emotionless as ever, however his head was tilted slightly as if he was trying to communicate with her.
"Home." Hinata never knew she could say the one syllable word as slow as she did until that very moment. "Please."
The silence they shared was almost deafening — if it weren't for the people around them. It was a long walk to their house which was a little bit far from the Hyuga estate and the ruins of the Uchiha compound. Though, Hinata did not make a big deal out of it.
They walked slow, but she never did complain.
Leaving everything assured, Hinata wore a small fake smile and fixed her hair to show the Uchiha crest in her back. For the sake of her husband, she needed to do this.
Once they got to their house, Sasuke opened the door for her but stayed in the doorframe. If Hinata knew any better, he would stay there for at least several minutes before entering and proceed to do nothing. After all, there was nothing to be done.
Their house was a gift from the Hyuga clan — her former clan. It was not a secret that their clan had too many connections to build a fullhouse in a short notice. Though Hinata did not really know if the house was built before the wedding or after the wedding.
After all, everything that includes her and Sasuke could be considered as a short notice.
The house was beautiful. It was not large nor small, just somewhere in the middle. Its simplicity is what makes it mesmerizing and pleasing to the eyes. With its wooden structures that almost resembled a shrine and the small garden upfront.
Usually, if Sasuke comes home from a spar with Naruto or from a meeting, he would stay by the doorframe for a few minutes then proceed to go to the living room. He would just sit in one of the cushions and cook whenever he wanted to.
They were nowhere close to romantic.
They share the same bed, of course. They would eat their meals together. Only Sasuke got to buy the groceries during the past month since he never asked if she could join, and neither did she ask if she could accompany him seeing as how Sasuke would like to be alone at times.
The Uchiha was granted a month without missions – because he was a newly wed and Hiashi made his decisions known for the Hokage. Even if this is the case, he still attended meetings when he is needed.
When Hinata turned to look at him, he was still by the doorframe. The anxiety she had when they were newly wed was beginning to fade, though of course there were times when it would come back.
"Have you eaten yet?" she asked him.
A little part of her was hoping Sasuke would turn around and nod.
"Not yet," he replied. "But don't bother."
It was a long time after he went inside and sat in one of the cushions. Was Sasuke always this hard to understand? Her heart was beginning to hurt.
When the night came and they needed to sleep, Hinata found herself trying to look away at Sasuke as best as she could. But when his hand rested atop her cheek — like what he usually does during their nights together — she found herself opening her lips as if she wanted to say something.
"Hn. What is it?" Sasuke asked, the natural venom in his voice was there. His eyebrow rose, even if his eyes were closed.
"People are starting to talk," whispered Hinata. "And I-"
"Let them," Sasuke ordered, cutting her off. He removed his hand from her cheek and his body straightened. The back of his hand was now above his forehead. "They always have something to say."
"I know but. . ." Hinata started. "But is that why you wanted me to go with you after hanging out with them?"
"No," answered Sasuke. "I'm your husband, it's what I should do."
The message came out unclear and unsatisfying, yet Hinata found herself content at the answer.
There were still a lot of questions she wanted to ask. There were still unanswered concerns. A lot of thoughts were still lingering in her mind. For now though, even if it's not enough, it would suffice.
But still she did not understand. Was it just for show?
A/N: Hii. For now, it doesn't make sense, but soon it will. Anyways, I would just like to explain myself beforehand: the conversation between the girls is not useless — you'll find out later. I'm sorry if it didn't go well with the mood but it just needs to be written. There are small snapshots between the lives of Sasuke and Hinata together — because I intended to at least give a little bit background before jumping onto the next chapter — and I know it's very unsatisfying for now since there's more to come.
About SH interactions, don't worry about it, for you'll see more in the next chapter and in the following chapters.
Oh and just a question: would you like it if I add Japanese honorifics or is it okay this way? Advance thank you for those who will answer. The ratings may change, so don't be surprised.
So it's my first story so please bear with me, but it's okay to point out my mistakes and criticism is always fine. And yeah, English is not my native language. Thank you for all the favourites, follows, and reviews, they are very much appreciated :. All the love, guys.
Oh and yeah. Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
