A Werewolf's Prophecy

Part 6: Our Remedies Oft in Ourselves do Lie

I think Elizabeth Bennet had it right when she said, "Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."1. If I look back at my life without doing so I may end up living the rest of my life in regret. Instead, for once in my life, I will look forward to the future…

May 29, 1997

Remus walked swiftly down the dirt path toward stone steps marking the entrance of Hogwarts. His eyes darted around him while a lump in his stomach revealed a feeling that something was not quite right. He took in a large gulp of air when he reached the top of the steps and pulled forward on the large, oaken doors.

Standing directly in front of him, just inside the doors, stood a young woman running her hands through her brunette locks. She quickly turned and met his gaze, her features tensing. They stared at each other for several seconds and Remus began to move toward her when Professor McGonagall stepped in front of him. "There you are Remus. We are all here now. Dumbledore should meet us here momentarily." He nodded while his mind raced, trying to think of the list of questions that had formed in his mind after he received the patronus from Dumbledore summoning him to the school. Professor McGonagall could sense his anxiety.

"I'm not sure of the particulars, but I believe we are to patrol the school. Albus must suspect something."

"Indeed," came a deep voice from behind her. Remus, Tonks, Professor McGonagall, and Bill Weasley all turned to face Dumbledore who was looking rather anxious himself. "I do not have time to go into the details, but I want to thank you all for coming so quickly. I will be leaving the grounds for several hours, during that time I would like you to patrol the building, maintain security of all entrances and do not allow anyone to enter or exit the walls of this building. Do not tell anyone of your task, I do not wish to raise alarm among students and staff. Minerva, I will leave it to you to decide who patrols where and when."

"Of course," replied Professor McGonagall, pulling out her wands and conjuring a map of the school in the air in front of her. The others moved to stand behind her, when a hand found its way onto Remus's shoulder.

"Remus, may I speak with you for a moment?" Dumbledore asked rather hastily, gesturing for Remus to follow him, stepping away from the others. He stopped in front of the door to the broom closet.

Remus looked a little bewildered. With the sudden summons to the school, seeing Tonks unexpectantly, and the uneasiness in Dumbledore's voice, Remus could not help but wonder at the meaning of it all.

"I do not have much time, but I wanted to ask you if you remember the day I came to you, that summer day when you were just eleven years old, and asked you to come to Hogwarts?"

Remus's eyes squinted as his confusion only grew, "Of course Professor, but…"

"Do you remember what I told you?"

Remus opened his mouth as if to speak and off to the side; thinking back to that day, trying to remember the exact words that had brought him so much hope all those years ago.

"I told you, 'I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.'2. It is still true, Remus. You have much more power and capability than you were ever willing to let on. And you will only be able to reach your full potential when you are able to accept the fact that your differences from most wizards are not hindrances but rather facilitators for a life filled with joy and fulfillment." Dumbledore placed a hand gently on a puzzled Remus's shoulder. "Please Remus, don't spend the rest of your life running from yourself." He quickly removed his hand and turned toward the others, leaving Remus to stare at the floor.

"What is he talking about? Why is he telling me this now? I'm not running from myself, I've long ago accepted what I am. And where is he going?" Remus thought to himself. But he did not have much time to ponder the answers as Professor McGonagall was calling him over to the others.

"Remus, there you are, we are to patrol together, floor by floor, spreading out at each level and meeting back at the central staircases to report our findings before moving on to the next floor."

Remus nodded and looking briefly to his left. Tonks was looking wide eyed at him. He could not tell if she was nervous, upset, or merely readying herself for the task ahead. He decided not to look directly at her again. He wondered briefly what she thought of him, "Does she hate me?"

Professor McGonagall was moving swiftly toward the staircase to the dungeons and Remus followed behind the others, walking away from Dumbledore who stood near the front doors.

"Thank you all again." He called out to them, a hand raised. They all turned to look at him briefly before descending down the stairs. Remus was the last one to meet his gaze before he turned to catch up with the others.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Over an hour later they were all ascending the stairs toward the third floor when Remus heard a small voice behind him.

"Remus?"

He paused a moment before turning slightly toward her. "Yes?"

"I… I need to speak with you." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Now is not the time." His voice was harsher than he wanted and he immediately regretted it. He turned to face her more fully. She looked slightly agitated and defiant.

"I know that. I was wondering if you could find some time in the near future to meet with me." She started up the stairs again, walking past him. He unconsciously took a deep breath as she moved past him. She smelled differently somehow. It was the same mixture of peppermint tea and cherry limp balm that he was used to, but something was different about her and he could not quite place it.

He put it in the back of his mind and prepared himself to respond to her request. "Nymphadora, I don't know if…"

Remus did not finish his statement, as he was interrupted by the sound of someone yelling. "That sounds like Ron!" he exclaimed as he ran toward the noise, the others following close behind.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remus stood near the foot of Bill's bed, avoiding anyone's gaze, especially the one of the young witch in front of him. "I can't be here anymore. None of them understand." He thought to himself and looked up as Professor McGonagall and Harry walked out of the hospital wing doors. "Poor Harry." He turned back to the scarred young man in the bed before him. "And Bill! Oh Gods, look what's happened, Dumbledore gone and she wants to talk about our relationship!" He rubbed his face with both hands and mumbled, "Excuse me," before sprinting out of the room.

He ran. He ran as fast as he could, surprising himself with his endurance even at his age. He did not want to be near them, with the way they were all looking at him, as if they knew something he did not. "They don't know anything!" he screamed through his teeth as he ran down the stairs and out the front doors. He gave no thought to the direction he was headed, his body knew the route too well.

When he reached the Whomping Willow he shoved a branch so hard into a knot in its trunk that the tree actually winced before immobilizing. He quickly maneuvered himself through the hole and bounded through the small passageway before reaching his destination. He threw himself on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, leaning his head against the pane of one of the boarded up windows. He tried to catch his breath but soon tears were streaming down his face and he was choking on his grief. Dumbledore was gone and Remus never felt more alone in his life. No matter the hardships that Remus endured there was always one constant in his life, Dumbledore would always be there to pat you on the back and offer you a piece of chocolate. He knew that Dumbledore was old, but he was so impossibly old that he just assumed he would never die. Remus felt no different than that day 30 years ago when his life was altered forever.

Several minutes later the tears had stopped and Remus stood to peer out the window through a crack in one of the boards. "Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted this, me running away from my problems. Isn't that what he was trying to tell me before?" Suddenly Remus's jaw dropped slightly as an eerie thought entered his mind, "He knew! He knew he was going to die. But how? And why did he pull me aside? Of all the members of the Order he pulled me aside before going off to die." He tried to remember exactly what Dumbledore had said to him before they left him. As he stood deep in thought a noise near the door spun him around and Tonks stood in the doorway. Her expression of wild anger quickly turned to concern when she met Remus's eyes.

"Remus…" She stopped as she saw the look of frustrated agony on his face. "Please, we are all hurt by what has happened. Dumbledore was… well he was like a father to all of us. And I'm sorry for shouting at you like that before. I just… well, so much has happened and I've wanted to talk to you for weeks and suddenly it all came out…" She was rambling and moving toward him, hoping he would interrupt her and save her from her misery.

But Remus was too deep in his own despair to reach out to her. "I can't have this conversation again. I've said all I need to say to you. Please, I just can't…" He hung his head, put a hand on the back of his neck and turned away from her.

She drew in an audible breath and Remus knew he was going to hear it whether he wanted to or not. He closed his eyes and braced himself. Instead of the shouting that he anticipated, her voice was calm.

"Remus, I spoke with Dumbledore yesterday. The past few weeks after we… last saw each other have been hard. Lately it's been, well harder, and I needed to talk to someone. You, especially, but you made it quite clear you didn't want to hear from me so I went to Dumbledore." She paused as if to collect her thoughts. "Looking back at it now, I realize that he knew even more than he let on, but at the time I was overwhelmed with what he told me."

Remus looked up at her, his face white with dread. "What did he tell you?" He was fearful he knew exactly what she was going to say.

"He told me about the prophecy Remus."

"He didn't!" His face went white. "He promised me! He promised me that he would tell no one! How dare he do that to me!" He was pacing now, both hands on top of his head, he eyes wild with emotion.

"Please don't be angry with him, he was only doing what he thought was right and he knew you would never tell me and I suspect now that he knew what was going to happen today and felt it was the only way I would ever find out." She stepped closer to him, holding out one hand.

"And what right do you have to know?" His face was suddenly close to hers and his eyes were darting back and forth between her's.

"Every right that you have." She stared up at his face while he shook his head with frustration.

"You cannot think that you are the 'witch with a very dark history.'"

"I know I am." She reached forward to take his hand and he backed away.

"That is impossible!"

"Why? Why is it impossible? Why can't you believe that I am the one, that we are suppose to be together!"

"Because it doesn't make any sense. What about your past is dark? Play a few pranks at Hogwarts? Piss off your parents with your pink hair and combat boots? Tonks, I think the meaning of the prophecy is a little bit deeper than that!"

"Yes, but only slightly so." She swallowed hard while he looked at her with a smarmy stare, defying her to prove him wrong. "I'm a Black."

He tilted his head, unconvinced. "So? It cannot be that simple."

"Why? Because in your mind you've thought of every foolish alternative? Remus it's true." She stepped directly in front of him again.

He was leaning against the wall, actually laughing slightly as he contemplated her words. "That's ridicules."

"No, it isn't." She reached forward and took his hand, spreading out the fingers and placing it on her stomach.

Remus was taken aback by the gesture and looked at his hand on her stomach for several moments. His expression went from surprised to confused to astonished. When he finally looked up and into her eyes he found tears slowly moving down her face and a soft smile on her lips. "How is this possible?"

"Because it simply is. We weren't exactly careful. You left before you could perform the spell and when I awoke I was too distraught to think of it. When I did, it was too late."

Still in shock he found himself staring at his hand again. "How long have you known?"

"Not long. A few days. I was concerned for several weeks and confirmed it several days ago. I haven't told anyone. Except for Dumbledore, and I doubt he told anyone." They were both silent for several minutes, neither one knowing what to say. In Remus's mind all the seemingly jagged pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together into place.

"Remus, please, say something." He looked up at her and found her looking heartbroken and he suddenly moved forward, wrapping his arms around her and gripping her tightly. He placed one hand on the back of her hand and kissed her hair.

"I have been an irrational git." She gripped the front of his shirt and chuckled softly as he held her tightly and sighed. "All this time. All this time I've wasted looking for something that was right in front of me. And he tried to tell me. Dumbledore, if I had only listened to you."

He slowly pulled his head away and cupped her face with both of his hands. He leaned forward gradually and placed a soft kiss on her lips. With his eyes still closed and his mouth almost touching hers, he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Her response was immediate as she found his lips once again and they were lost for several minutes in each other. She was the first to pull her mouth away and Remus opened his eyes, squinting at a ray of light on his light face that found its way through the boarded up window. She released her grip on his shirt and tried to smooth out the wrinkles with her palm. "So what happens now?"

Remus smiled brightly, he missed her youthful frankness. "We should probably go back to the school, see if anyone needs our help, I'm sure they do."

"Right, of course. That's not what I meant though."

"Oh. You mean about… this." He placed his hand back on her stomach, smiling.

"Yes." She reached down and placed her hand over his. "Remus we're going to have a baby." Her expression was a blend of joy and apprehension.

"I know." He placed his other hand on her cheek, his thumb gentle rubbing away the remains of her tears. "I honestly have no idea what's going to happen." He reached down and took both of her hands within his and brought them up to his lip, kissing her fingers. "But we'll figure it out together."

His kissed her forehead before lowering their hands and moving toward the door. "We should go and find Professor McGonagall and check in with Molly to see how Bill's doing."

Before they reach the door she stopped them and turned to face him again. "One more thing," she said before squinting her eyes in a look of deep concentration. Suddenly her hair seemed as if it was trying to glow and the brown faded away and eventually transformed into a bright pink. "Did it work?"

Remus laughed and his eyes sparkled as he ran his hand through her now soft, bouncy, bubblegum hair. "I'd say so!" He was temporarily mesmerized by her again and forgot that they were about to leave.

Tonks giggled for a moment and then sighed. Remus understood her reaction, remembering that they were needed elsewhere and could not stand in the middle of the Shrieking Shack staring at each other in amorous bliss forever. "Come on" he said with a reassuring smile, as they walked out together, hand in hand.

1. Quote from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I just had to fit something Austen in there somewhere.

2. Quote from Henry David Thoreau.