Why must I seek for the daylight,

When I can see you clearly without it?

Maybe for you it doesn't sound right,

But I prefer you without lights lit.


Hinata was never a morning person. She was not an early bird like the rest of her family or her husband. In the Hyuga household, she was always the last one to wake up. It was because of her immense training. With Sasuke though, Hinata was almost pretty sure that he was always unpurposely waking her up — basing from the few times she woke up earlier than him.

Again, she was never a morning person. And when morning comes with a hangover, it was the worst.

Her head felt heavy, and as crazy as it may sound: it was like she banged herself on the wall. She could not bring herself to open her eyes as her eyelids felt like they had weights. There was a grumbling sound and it was only a matter of time when Hinata figured that the strange noise was coming from her stomach. She could almost taste her own bile mixing up with her saliva. It was awful.

There was no warmth around her. Hinata squirmed a little bit to see if her husband was still there, but he wasn't. So she tried opening her eyes. Hinata could only whimper.

When she has successfully opened her eyes, Hinata found herself closing them again.

Behind all these, she could smell a faint sent of what seemed like tea. After a few seconds, Hinata tried to open her eyes once more. Indeed, it was a miserable try. At least she did, her eyes was greeted by the traces of sunlight. It was morning, and Sasuke wasn't by her side.

"You're only hurting yourself." It was Sasuke's voice. At this, Hinata tried to face him, but she still couldn't. "Give it a few time."

"Mm," she responded, trying to move her body which was somehow aching. She felt sore.

"Here," she heard him. He was close now, as his voice sounded louder than earlier. The next thing she knew, his fingers were touching her lower back to help her sit up straight, her back straightening against the headboard. Then she faced him. "I made you tea. Sit there."

As she could not think straight, Hinata just sat in their bed. Barely making a move, she waited for something. When his hand made its way towards her with a cup of tea, Hinata only stared before reaching the cup for herself.

"It's still hot," said her husband. It was clear that it was his way of saying that she should be careful. "We've got the whole day to ourselves so rest."

When she figured that she could bear the temperature, Hinata sipped a small portion of it. She could only smile in relief as she could feel the tea flow in her system. After quite a while, Hinata found herself feeling refreshed. Her head still felt heavy, but at least her stomachache and sorethroat lessened.

The sun was already shining outside. The rays already filled their room with much light. Birds were enough singing, but Hinata still could not move normally as her joints ached as if she was catching a flu.

Sasuke only stood there, not looking at anything in particular.

"What Sai-san said last night. . ." Hinata started after several minutes of silence. "Was true, wasn't it?"

"Hn," answered Sasuke, nodding lightly. "Don't think about it much, just rest for now."

When he turned his back on her and started walking away, Hinata cleared her throat. Her lavender eyes were still on the empty cup in her hands, but she was looking at her husband through her peripheral view.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I want to thank you. . ." said Hinata.

"You already did," Sasuke said, looking at her with a small side glance. Then he continued, "Last night."

"I know," Hinata agreed, softly nodding. She took a deep breath before she continued, "I remember, but I want to thank you now that I am not stuttering, nor babbling."

"Now that you're sober?" he asked it with little amusement, much unlike Sasuke but made Hinata's heart flutter, nonetheless.

"Sasuke-kun. . ."

"I'm not mad," said Sasuke once her trailing voice ended. "Stop worrying."

"Still," Hinata said, looking back at the teacup before smiling at Sasuke who was not even looking at her. Continuing, she said, "It was not wise for me to drink that much."

"Hn, it was not wise," Sasuke agreed, turning his body to face her for a quick moment. "But it already happened. Tidy yourself up now, I'll be downstairs."

"Thank you," she said, looking down.

"Hn."

The response was simple, yet it was not new. When Sasuke exited the room, Hinata took little time before standing up to prepare herself. She took a bath, readied herself, and after quite some time, she was finally relieved. The only thing that was bothering her for now was her hunger, and her headache which the hangover caused.

When she joined Sasuke downstairs, Hinata was holding the empty cup of tea that Sasuke lended her earlier. Upon meeting his eyes, Hinata immediately averted her gaze. Indeed, she was shy with the fact that she drank her heart out last night. And Sasuke even said that she was allowed to do so, because she knew her limitations.

"Come, let's eat," said Sasuke, taking the cup of tea from Hinata's hands before putting it by the counter.

"You still haven't eaten yet?" asked Hinata.

"No."

"Oh, thank you."

The husband and wife ate in silence while Hinata stole glances from time to time. One of the worst things about it was that Sasuke seemed cool about everything. It was as if nothing happened last night. It was as if she was not drunk or is not having a hangover, or the fact that he had carried her home, and then the forehead kisses he gave her when she was both sober and drunk.

After quite some time of pure silence, Hinata tried her best to look at her husband. Her building up anxiety was beginning to eat her up alive. So she tried her best to be firm. Her remaining courage was fading away, but before it could completely die, Hinata cleared her throat.

The simple action made Sasuke look at her, but she could only grimace in shame. Instead of asking Hinata, Sasuke looked like he was never going to ask her what was wrong, so it dawned on her that it was time to finally speak.

"Are you mad at me?" Hinata asked, almost losing her voice at the last word.

"No," answered Sasuke, shaking his head lightly before continuing to eat his food. "I am not."

Somehow, it did not help at all. The silent treatment was not new, in fact, in their case, Sasuke's treatment towards her was not even the silent treatment nor the cold shoulder. It was just like an unusual normal day. An unusual normal day since there were no dark clouds over Sasuke. . .his atmosphere was in fact: warm. That was speaking volumes.

"But were you?" she asked again, biting her bottom lip in anticipation.

"Mad?" Sasuke started, at the corner of his lips curling ever so slightly. "No. If I were, I would have gone for work today."

"Do you have work today?" asked Hinata, her eyes now lowering to her emptying plate. Instead of answering, Sasuke only waved his hand on the counter of their kitchen. When Hinata looked at where he was pointing out, she saw a scroll. "You do."

"Hn, I do," echoed Sasuke. "I'm taking a day off. Kakashi would not mind."

And then the memories of last night flashed through her mind.

"You can still go to missions," Sai said. "Your husband couldn't."

"He's allowed to go to low ranked missions, however, not allowed to other missions unless approved by the council. Hokage-sama, too," Sai said again.

As much as she wanted to ask her husband about what the ANBU had said, Hinata held her tongue. It felt illegal. For now, Hinata just wanted to set it all aside. It would not help the fact that her headache was such a pain.

"I'll probably r-rest," Hinata stated after quite some time. At this, Sasuke looked at her, raising a brow. "I cannot train today."

"Hn," agreed Sasuke, nodding. "How much do you remember last night?"

It took her several whole seconds before it has dawned on her that her husband asked a question. Sure, it was quite common for him to start conversations since they became closer these past few days, but it was still surprising. And though it was common, it still felt foreign to Hinata. Nevertheless, it was good to know that they were having a somewhat good conversation.

"Small bits," she admitted after another while. She took a deep breath before continuing, "Just those that are worth remembering."

"Good to know," said Sasuke, putting an end to their conversation.

After quite a while, Sasuke showed signs of wanting to say something but didn't. It was pretty clear to Hinata since he had a small unnoticeable habit that has grown on her. His lips would part ever so slightly while he would clench his fist as if frustration was taking over him. Much as Hinata found the sight adoring, she figured it would be best if she did the first move.

"Do you want to say something?" she asked shyly, looking down at her legs before looking at Sasuke.

"It's fine," said Sasuke, looking at her briefly before looking back at his plate.

"Please," Hinata said with a plea. "It's fine with me."

"I said it's fine," repeated her husband. This time, his dark eyes were staring directly unto hers. Straightaway, he turned his head, refusing to meet her eyes. "Don't think of it much. After this discussion, I won't."

"Sasuke-kun. . ." Hinata trailed off, her eyes softening at her husband. Sighing softly, his wife continued, "It's fine if you don't tell me, it's fine if you do. But i-if you don't tell me, it'll bug you. . .and if you tell me, I think it will help us. In a way. . ."

She was never good at expressing herself. The words she mean to say would always tumble against her tongue, creating a stutter or a broken phrase. It was not nice. Though when her eyes landed upon her husband, she could see that he made out of what she had said.

"Why did you drink?" he asked. His voice slowed down and softened when he asked, "Is it because of this?"

'This' meant something else. It was their marriage, their relationship, and their connection. Somehow, it seemed like he was not just asking why she drank. To be exact: he was asking the reason as to why she drank. There was a big difference.

"Some people love to drink on their bad days," she started, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from stuttering. "That's true. S-some people want to drink because they have problems and they think it's the gateway for them. But not me.

"If you think th-that I drank because I'm miserable, I didn't. I r-really didn't. I'm not miserable, not at all. It was because y-you let me and I'm not blaming you. I'm not blaming you for letting me. Rather, I am g-grateful, because you know alcohol is not g-good for me yet you still let me.

"It was not my escape. I just wanted to. And I hope you understand that," she started. He nodded as a reply, and that made her smile. "I don't know if you do, I hope you do."

"I do," Sasuke assured her in a soft voice. Before she looked away, though it was only through his lips, Hinata saw how his lips moved and say, "Thanks."

The feeling was overwhelming but at the same time, underwhelming. With Sasuke, everything positive that rolls out of his tongue seems to be a compliment. And when he's being cold, Hinata knew that she deserves it — even without knowing why at times. Looking at her husband, she never knew how perfect it could be.

How perfect it could be if they were really in love.

Time passed by without Hinata noticing it. Her body still ached while her head still felt heavy, but now it was beginning to settle down. Upon opening the front door of their house, Hinata embraced the sunlight. Technically, it was still morning, so the light was still healthy.

Sasuke trailed behind her. With a soft expression, he stood in the door frame while she stood in front of him. Hinata had her back on her husband.

"What do you want to do now?" asked Sasuke, resting his shoulder by the wooden frame. Though Hinata could not see him, she felt his chest brush in her back.

"I don't know," answered Hinata shyly, holding her breath.

"Hn."

It was warm. Goodness, it was warm. She did not know if it was Sasuke's effect on her or it was the spring's gift. It was nice. It felt nice. Why did everything feel like they were right into place when in fact, there were still loose ends everywhere?

There were still unanswered questions. There was still a mystery going on. Hinata kept setting everything aside, but her curiosity piqued with the details she kept on erasing in her mind. For now. Again, for now, it would be better if she would just let it go. The truth will come out in the future, just not now.

"I'll be by the pond," said her husband.

The announcement was simple, but not something Sasuke usually does. It was almost implying something, but there was none. Hinata could only remember a few times Sasuke uttered out something that almost meant nothing, so that was a start.

After a few minutes of wondering, her feet took her to where Sasuke was. His feet were on the water, dangling freely, creating ripples. Hinata knew Sasuke could feel her presence, but it was clear he would not take a glimpse at her.

So she wondered again. For a really long time, the questions as to why he married her stopped. Now though, it was circling around her mind once more.

Someday she'll tell him why she married him, and maybe someday he'll tell her his reason, too.

Walking over to the opposite side of Sasuke, Hinata had her hands on her back. She kneeled, her clothed knees touching the ground. With a small tight smile, Hinata looked at the fishes in the pond. They looked so free even if they were stuck in the same circle as always.

"When we were younger. . ." Sasuke started, offering her a small nice glance before looking back at the fishes. With this, Hinata gave him her full attention. "Did we talk?"

Overall, the question was simple, but strange. It was not the type that Sasuke would just ask out of nowhere. Maybe he was curious? It was nice. Or maybe her husband was just engaging a

"I believe we didn't," she answered in a soft voice with a soft smile displayed on her features. "We never did."

"Just small glances from time to time," Sasuke said, making Hinata's brows furrow. She remembered no such thing, until he continued, "Accidental."

"Do you remember?" she asked slowly, pursing her lips.

"Vaguely," her husband answered simply. He moved his feet which resulted to small splashes. After it, he continued, "Memories inside the leaf and of my childhood are too few to even forget."

"What do you remember?" she asked, hoping that Sasuke got the part that she was only asking of his memories with her. There were too much bad parts. "About us."

A small smirk appeared in his face. His eyes drifted to her and then nowhere in particular, and back to her again. Hinata could never guess what her husband was thinking about. After all, he was not readable. Then again, she would not want it any other way.

"Only small bits of my memories include you," he admitted, his smirk never fading. "Just the ones that are obvious and unforgettable, unfortunately."

"L-like?"

"You, pressing your fingers together until they bent."

Now that was one way to make Hinata shudder. It was not because she was embarrassed that it was a part of her mannerism before, but maybe because of the revelation. Yet she giggled. Such a rare occasion to occur while sober, but she did. The small giggles she let out made her feel embarrassed, but Hinata did not feel insecure about it.

"Unfortunate," she agreed, nodding lightly with the ghost of a fit of giggles in her system. "That's an unfortunate memory to keep."

"It's a series of memories," said Sasuke, still having the same smirk he wore earlier, if not a little smaller. "From different angles of you pressing your fingers together."

"So you knew me," she said to herself more than to her husband with disbelief in her tone. Though she was certain he heard her. With eyes on somewhere distant for a few seconds, she looked back at her husband only to see him looking at the pond with an expression that seemed like he was reminiscing something.

"I did, as less as you knew me," Sasuke said admittedly. It made her smile to think that Sasuke could say these things without anything holding him back. "On rare occasions. When the room is chaotic, I would look at something peaceful. The sky, plants, you, something quiet."

Something peaceful. Sasuke was looking for silence amidst chaos. As for her, she was always looking at a certain blond who was either the cause of chaos, or just a factor. Unlike most wedded couples, they were neither the opposite of each other nor were they similar.

"Was there a time when we were asked to be mates in a group back in school?" Hinata asked, looking at Sasuke and back at the fishes. She dipped a finger in the water and proceeded to say, "I could not remember one."

"I would have remembered," Sasuke said, a ghost of a smirk transparent in his face.

"I think I would, too," said Hinata, nodding with a small smile.

It was calming. The atmosphere was warm and so was Sasuke. Hinata could fall asleep in where they sat, but she chose to look at Sasuke who did nothing but look at the fishes below.

Everything was silent — aside from the village's noise which was almost silenced out by the trees in their area. Hinata had always been an awkward person, but somehow the silence meant peace to her. Sasuke's silence gave her peace. And though it was not always like that, it was good to know how much her views had changed ever since they got married.

Just like that, their conversation ended. The small moment they shared in the pond was not something out of the ordinary, but was something that could be considered as worth remembering. It's not everyday you learn how someone you did not try to approach back then could be a huge part of your life.

The day went on like normal days. With them doing their chores, Hinata trying to train alone, Sasuke having his own thing with writing down in scrolls, and even just rests by the cushion. It was nice. Their life was nice. It was not always like that, but now it was.

It was beginning to feel comfortable. Like finally having a friend who understands what you want. A stranger who became her husband. Her husband who became her peace bringer. Her husband who became Hanabi's savior, and thus hers. Her husband who became her friend.

Their sequences weren't fixed like most couples. But they were trying. Hinata was. Sasuke was. Together, they were.

It felt good to be assured of something so confusing.

And Hinata knew. She knew to herself that whatever she had with Sasuke — whether it could be considered as a waste of time or good for nothing — she knew that she would never forget it. Not the good parts, nor the bad parts. It would stay in her mind even if she tried to forget. Maybe it's not always about the bad things, but her choice lasted a lifetime. Her choice had cut all the strings he or she could possibly have connected in other people.

But for now she won't regret anything.

She still needed answers.

Night came and Hinata still haven't had the answers she wanted to know. While Sasuke fixed their bed sheets, Hinata walked by the bedside table to lit a small glassed candle. As the flames lit up, Hinata tried to look at Sasuke. However, Hinata just could not.

"You're curious," said Sasuke, looking at her with such a blank expression she could not read. "You have questions."

"I am," Hinata confirmed shyly, looking down at her feet. "I have."

"Then why don't you ask?" asked Sasuke blankly. He grabbed the edge of the blanket and lifted it.

"I couldn't b-bring myself to ask," admitted the wife, stuttering as she could not form her words well. "I want to know, but I feel like I can't."

"Come," her husband said in a low voice, still holding the edge of the cloth in his hand. At this, Hinata complied, she settled herself in her side of the bed. When Sasuke finally put the blanket around her, he leaned away and refused to meet her eyes. "You're my wife."

And that immediately solved a lot of problems.

Hinata tried her best not to meet his eyes with hers as her blush deepened. There was no reason why she was blushing at all, her cheeks just betrayed her for some reasons. She was no longer a teenager, but she felt this strange feeling she used to feel around her husband's friend.

It was not why he said it, it was how he said it.

It was assurance, without even knowing what she was being assured of. There was a hint of epiphany without it being purely revelatory.

"Now go to sleep," said Sasuke who went over to the corner of the room to grab a scroll and went back in the foot area of their bed.

"Th-that time you rescued Hanabi," Hinata started shakily. This time, she was not going to set it aside. She needed to ask him. Her heart ached for answers. "You weren't a-allowed to g-go to missions, r-rght?"

"Hn," responded Sasuke nonchalantly.

He then laid beside her and put his hand atop her cheek — an old habit neither of them could not break. In return, Hinata put her own hand atop his. They shared the warmth under the blankets and in their hands. While she could feel Sasuke's rough hands, with his calluses, and scars, Hinata felt like it was meant to stay in her smooth cheek.

"Why?" The question was simple, and Hinata did not even know if her husband could understand what she wanted to say. It was like there was something inside of her that told her that it was fine if she did not elaborate or so.

"Because you're my wife," Sasuke said, closing his eyes, still resting his palm on her cheek.

"I know," she said, pushing his hand into her cheek more. "But why? How?"

For a moment, Hinata was scared she would never get the answer she needed. Sasuke already had his eyes closed, so she slowly removed his hand from her cheek and reached for the bedside table's candle. She blew the flames until it was nothing but smoke before going back to Sasuke's side.

Hinata did not know if he was sleeping already or not, but she figured she would not know. After all, Hinata did ask about something that may be beyond her limits. Still, she was baffled if she deserves to know the answers or she did not. One could only sigh upon the situation.

"Kakashi called for me," said Sasuke suddenly, making Hinata gasp. "That day."

"I remember," murmured Hinata softly, moving closer to Sasuke until her head touched his chest.

"He didn't want me to go on a mission, and I was not allowed either." There was no pride in his voice. It was as if Hinata was hearing from Sasuke's soul. "I begged."

Begged was not Sai's term. Hinata's mind may be betraying her because she was drunk the last night, but she remembered the word 'volunteered' and not begged. Begging was something Sasuke could not possibly do, but Hinata could not sense a hint of lie in his words. Not that she doubted her husband — she couldn't do it since it felt like she was betraying him — but it seemed untrue.

Although it was dark, the moonlight was enough to illuminate the room, and Hinata could only see the spikes of his hair, his cheek, and only one of his eyes whenever he opens it.

"Sas-"

"They allowed me," her husband said, cutting her off. "I didn't even think of it as a mission. It was a responsibility."

Because it's my sister, thought Hinata. She bit her lip until it hurt. Why did everything make a lot of sense when in fact they didn't?

"That morning," Sasuke said again. "Do you remember?"

After a while, Hinata answered, "Barely."

"An ANBU called for me to come by Kakashi's office. Kakashi's orders were to tell you about your sister's state," said her husband slowly, his eyes staring directly unto hers. "To tell you that she was missing."

"Why didn't you. . ." she trailed off, biting her lip out of anticipation. When Sasuke started to rub her cheek with his thumb in a circular motion, it urged her to continue. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The room suddenly darkened as the moon was covered by thick clouds. She could no longer see his eyes, just the small outline of his hair which seemed grey under the faint light. Even with the blinds open, there was nothing else providing light aside from the celestial body.

"I couldn't." The answer took a lot of time. And for one, it did not make sense. "I couldn't simply tell you."

"I understand." She didn't. And somehow, she felt like he knew she was lying. Clearing her throat, Hinata closed her eyes. "The day you came back. . .you told me it was your job."

"It was," Sasuke said.

"It wasn't," Hinata corrected with a soft sigh.

"I volunteered for the job," said her husband simply. He visibly tensed, and even with the low light, Hinata saw it. "But only because she's your sister. If it's any other person, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't risk my liberty for someone who means nothing to me or you."

"Sasuke-kun?" she called him, pulling his hand closer to her chest. She blushed when the tips of his fingers brushed her pearls, but did nothing. It was never her intention to do so. Still, she managed to say, "Thank you."