And I am still wondering,
As to why this is happening.
Do we really deserve this?
Or just because I am with you, I too, shall perish?
Several nights had passed since the night Hinata realized that there was more to their marriage than just an arrangement. It was not just written on a silly paper, nor was it only something they had agreed on. There was something else now.
Upon opening her eyes, the long streaks of sunlight greeted her sensitive sight. Roaming her eyes slowly, Hinata found Sasuke sitting at the corner of his side of the bed, wearing nothing but pants on. Meeting his eyes, Hinata smiled softly as if it was her way of greeting him.
In return, Sasuke nodded just ever so lightly.
A simple communication. An exchange of something so unnoticeable, but quite something Hinata could reminisce every once in a while. It was not much, but it was enough.
As she only woke up, Hinata did not talk, nor did Sasuke. They stayed like that for a little while, her hands were clasped together under her cheek while they both stared at each other. Like two young teenagers who knew not much about what the world could bring.
Still, it almost made her smile how soft Sasuke looked. Dark locks of hair were all over the place, but still looked neat, nonetheless. Lips slightly parted, eyebrows relaxed, and a warm sense of chakra.
It could go on hours, and Hinata knew she would not notice even if they went on days like that. It was peaceful. When did it ever become this peaceful?
Surreal.
That was one word to describe it. It was almost unreal, except it was the reality. Hinata would not want it any other way.
"Morning," he greeted after a while, still looking at her with an expression she had seen only a few times in their stay together. His hand went over the lower part of her leg. There was visible hesitation in his eyes as he slowly moved his hand back and forth — massaging her ever so lightly. "I'm guessing you'd be gone for quite a while."
It took Hinata several seconds before realizing what Sasuke said. With confusion stamped in her face, she looked at him, even raising her eyebrow just a bit.
"Why?" Hinata asked, barely audible, but the quietness of the whole house gave her words some power.
"The ANBU left a scroll this morning," started Sasuke with an exasperated sigh trailing. It sounded so unintentional. "We could talk about it at breakfast. I've already cooked eggs."
"If it won't bother you," she replied, her voice sounding husky.
"It won't."
"Do you think it's urgent?" The worry in her voice did not fail to hide itself. As a response, she received a small shake of the head. Shyly, she continued, "It will have to wait, then."
Hinata could still remember that time Sasuke showed a little bit of harshness towards her just because she had received a letter from her friends. It was in their first month of marriage. Back then, Hinata had her hands tied. Understandable, yes, especially because she did not try to know him back then. Now, it seemed like he was more than willing to let her off if it would make her happy.
That reminded her: his sudden changes. . .or was it even sudden?
Not really. Maybe just a bit, but not really. They were not always warm to each other. Because once upon a time, her husband's voice was mixed with venom. But when did he really start to change?
"What time is it?" she asked, cutting away her thoughts before pulling the corners of her blanket closer.
"Still early," Sasuke replied. He licked his lips and said, "You could still take a rest."
"All I do is rest," Hinata pointed out with a small soft chuckle. She did not miss the way his lips twitch either, a failure attempt to hide his amusement. Embarrassment felt as if it was crawling under her skin. So, she asked, "H-how about you? Don't you want to rest, Sasuke-kun?"
"I've had mine," said her husband with a tone he almost never used.
"You went home late last night," she pointed out again. "You must be tired."
"I've had my rest," he said again, now looking straightly at her. When Hinata averted her eyes, Sasuke started moving. Walking over to his side of the bed, Sasuke first reached for the blinds to close them. "But if you insist."
The room was a tad bit darker than it was before. The sunlight that touches their bed disappeared. If Hinata was being honest, she preferred it that way. It was pretty much sunrise, but the room looked golden. It was nice.
She was busy enjoying how the color of their room changed from bright to a toned-down version of it. When their bed moved, Hinata turned her head to see Sasuke laying down. As she was already sitting, Hinata could only show a small soft smile at her husband who looked peaceful with the back of his hand atop his forehead.
"What?" he asked without batting an eye on her, his eyes directed onto their ceiling.
"H-huh?" she asked, eyes widening.
"Why?" Sasuke asked again. "Were you looking at me like that."
"Oh. . ." trailing off, she averted her eyes. "I didn't mean to."
"It's fine."
And it was. It was calm and peaceful. Being with her husband, together in their bed, morning of spring, both fully relaxed as their chakra were not disturbed. Frankly speaking, Hinata would never want it any other way. She never really imagined of what her life with Sasuke could be, but even if it has its ups and downs, Hinata found herself contented at the thought of growing old with Sasuke.
They were civil to each other, and it mattered so much to Hinata. There was a point in their life that her husband was almost oppressing if it weren't for Hinata's strong will and preventative mindset.
A nearby branch cracked, snapping her thoughts away.
"Hn," Sasuke let out, upset. From her side, Hinata could feel his chakra flare up for a split second before it rapidly stopped.
"What was that?" she asked, but she was not talking about the branch. It seemed pretty clear on Sasuke's side too, judging by the way he let out a small, aggravated sigh. At this, Hinata muttered, "Sorry."
"No, it isn't you," muttered her husband. With just a brief glance, he said, "Something else."
It was either a secret or nothing at all.
Which did remind her. . .Sasuke was hiding secrets from her. Not that Hinata did not understand, she did. The only problem she had with it was the fact that Sasuke seemed torn every time. Sometimes, it would feel like he wanted to tell her something but would not. And she knew how frustrating it was for someone to hold secrets that were meant to be said — growing up with Neji and all.
No, it was not about his appearance nor was it about the way he spoke his words, it was the way his chakra would flare up. It never really did before.
Hinata was not blind. She had the byakugan, but that was beside the point. Maybe that may be a helping factor to the point. At the beginning of their relationship, his chakra was very much suppressed even when he was training. She figured Sasuke mastered masking his chakra, much like everyone else. Then again, the first time Hinata actually felt his chakra was after the incident he cornered her in their room.
"Okay," she whispered, almost unwillingly. Clutching onto the sheets, Hinata turned her back away from her husband and closed her eyes. Promptly trying to sleep, Hinata mumbled underneath her breath, "W-would you mind if I sleep?"
"Suit yourself," her husband replied dismissively.
When she closed her eyes, Hinata felt his fingers dangle through locks of her hair — softly brushing them. Her heart started beating wildly. In their months together, Sasuke would embrace her, pull her closer to him, hold her cheek, and other things that one might even consider as sweet. But that? Sasuke never did that.
"Hinata," he called.
Her raging heart skipped a beat.
"Hn?" she asked, even trying to take a glimpse, but could not as she had her back turned against her partner. Calming herself down, she asked again, "What is it?"
"You have gray streaks," he told her.
"I do?" Her eyes widened, fully losing interest in sleep. Turning her head around, she met his eyes while he was still holding a thick lock gray streak. "I do."
"Are you fine with that?" Sasuke asked, looking at her with much darkened eyes. Nodding, she smiled sweetly at him. "If you aren't, we could ask Yamanaka for a dye. Flowers, herbs, or whatever."
"It's fine," she assured him, taking the strands of hair from his hand before brushing her fingers along it. "I don't think I'll change it. Although it is kind of alarming, don't you think?"
"Hn," agreed Sasuke. "Does it have anything to do with illnesses?"
The idea sent her body unexpected tremors.
"I didn't mean to alarm you," he said once more, giving her a small shock. "It was just. . .concerning."
"Hn," she replied, nodding, but still had her eyes on the gray streaks of her hair. However, horrifying it was to have sudden gray streaks at her age, Hinata would be lying if she said it was not a sight to see. "It looks good."
"It does," agreed her husband, taking another streak of gray hair and played with it. At this, Hinata turned around to face him. Putting his hand behind her to grab wisps of the unusual colored hair, he continued, "Though if it bothers you, we could find something."
"It doesn't," she admitted softly, even biting her bottom lip. "Maybe a little, b-but that's just because I am a little bit too young to have gray hair."
"Hn," he agreed. Sasuke then moved forward and smelled the hair in his hand before smirking. The action was surprising enough, but what was even more surprising was when he closed his eyes and said, "I like it."
"I do, too," Hinata said, smiling before laying her head in the pillow nicely.
It was like that for a while. Sasuke was just looking at the ceiling with his hand rested in his forehead while Hinata studied him. His muscles decreased in size, but that was not at all surprising considering that he rarely went out on missions. Though, even if this is the case, Sasuke's body, however, grew thicker. A nice change, she might add. Although he was not all scrawny, his body was just thinner before. Also, hair was longer than when they were first together — the spikes now reached his shoulders.
Well, both of them grew their hair longer. Hinata's bangs was even longer than before, now reaching her eyes. She had to push her bangs from time to time. No matter what, Hinata just did not want to cut it for now. Now that she had gray streaks, it was pretty surprising that she did not want anything to do with it.
"You could still sleep," was her husband's words before he drifted into a soft slumber himself.
Awakening the second time around, Hinata felt much refreshed than earlier. Carefully stretching out her bones, Hinata's eyes drifted unto her sleeping husband.
Sasuke looked peaceful — as usual — in his sleep. His features were softer and much delicate looking which is very unlike her husband. Smiling, Hinata's fingers slowly made their way to his hair, even softly running them down his scalp. She was still hesitating, but for some reasons, Hinata still did it.
Well, it was already common to hear that Sasuke was always the one who wakes up earlier between them two. Only on rare occasions does Hinata wake up earlier than him.
Deciding not to wake him up, Hinata left the room.
Indeed, Sasuke needed more energy than her. Sasuke would go off to his work by the Hokage tower and she would stay at home and train. Oftentimes, especially when his schedule is not at all full, she would accompany him to the tower. Though, the wife still did not know what Sasuke's work was. Given the fact that they were all serving the Hokage, Sasuke however, did not attend 'real' missions — as most shinobis would call the higher ranked missions.
Yes, whatever Sai told her stayed in her mind. Although she knew bits of it, it was not like it was important, or was it?
Still, Hinata chose to set it all aside. There was just this sinking feeling inside of her that kept on saying that she would find out the real deal later on. It would be either because Sasuke would tell her, or she would just know. Yet, Hinata would not want it any other way.
It's actually better than nothing.
Tying her graying hair in a bun, Hinata went straight ahead towards their dining table. Sasuke had already prepared their breakfast which consisted of rice, eggs, and even the leftovers from last night's dinner. While in the Hyuga compound, they made sure there were no leftovers, Hinata's life with Sasuke was different. She learned to cope up with him.
"Good morning," her husband suddenly said once she was seated. Looking at him with a surprised look, Hinata still managed to smile. Then Sasuke deadpanned, "You didn't wake me up."
"I didn't," Hinata echoed.
And sometimes she wondered if Sasuke hated it whenever she would agree with him in the same tone she would always use. Then again, she never asked.
"I'm sorry," she said after a while. At this, Sasuke sat in front of her. She opened the lid covered plate for him. "I just thought you needed more rest."
"Hn," Sasuke said, not a forgiving word, but forgiving enough for Hinata. "Have you read the scroll?"
"I haven't, still," answered Hinata. "It's not any urgent, so I do not see why I should open it now."
"Hn." There was a small sound of consideration coming from her husband. "Are you sure you still don't want to read it now? It's from the ANBU."
"Have you read it?"
She stared at him, with her eyes as innocent as they could be. Not one flicker of emotion crossed his features. It was quiet, but rather disquieting.
"No," Sasuke replied. "But I do know what it is about."
"So. . .what is it about?"
As the silence kept on spreading, Hinata put her eyes back on her food.
"A mission," said Sasuke after a while. When Hinata turned to look at him, he was biting his lower lip softly. "Did you talk to the ANBU about it?"
The ANBU. That was one way to acknowledge Sai. Hinata did not know much ANBU aside from Sai, and she did not know him that well either. It was just a one-time thing. Hinata was almost pretty sure they would never talk again after that one drunken night.
"As far as I could recall," Hinata started, picking her words. "I only mentioned that I missed missions, and that I was not a retired kunoichi. Th-that's about it."
"I am not forbidding you or so," said Sasuke, as if he was trying to comfort her minimally. "I did tell you you're fine with missions. I never told you you couldn't. However, it's ANBU we are talking about."
"That is correct," replied the wife, even nodding as she recalled that time they discussed about missions. "I just never thought of coming to the Hokage tower to confirm that I can go to missions. A-and I don't think I'm much needed at the moment since Hokage-sama doesn't call for me. So why would the ANBU call for me?"
"Voluntary missions," said Sasuke, almost diverting their conversation from the tone of it. "It's what stops you from getting one. They're all getting taken care of."
"Yes," agreed Hinata. "If so, why did the ANBU call for me? And for a mission, that is."
"That, I wouldn't know," he replied, looking back at his food. Without giving her a glance, he continued, "Though will you accept it?"
"Depends." There was a slight sign of contemplations when Hinata uttered out those words. Blowing away some of her bangs which were longer now, she looked back at her husband. "The ANBU is a different thing."
"Yes," said Sasuke after completely finishing his breakfast. "A different thing. Their forces aren't Kakashi's. Whatever it is that you're getting yourself into, it's no longer under Kakashi's powers. I doubt it's his orders at all."
"What do you suggest then, Sasuke-kun?" Hinata asked. After several seconds of not getting an answer, she let out a small sigh. It was barely audible, and she was somewhat thankful for that. "I just want to hear your thoughts about it."
Sasuke then took a sip of his cup of tea, even closing his eyes as if he did not want to look at her. And he never did, his eyes were everywhere but Hinata. When their eyes finally met, Sasuke cleared his throat in the most unsettling way.
"Frankly," he started, tilting his head ever so slightly with his eyes staring directly unto hers — intimidating her even. "I don't want you to. It's ANBU. They cannot be trusted."
Just as when Sasuke spoke those words, there was a knock on the door. Hinata's eyes drifted to the entrance of their house before looking back at Sasuke. He suddenly stood up before signaling Hinata to stay put in where she was sitting. And the good wife she was, Hinata just sat there as she watched Sasuke walk towards the main door.
For a few seconds, Hinata doubted if she would walk after him to greet whoever was on the door. Deciding she wouldn't, Hinata finished her meal. Sasuke's meal was finished, too, so Hinata immediately picked up the dishes and headed towards the kitchen to rinse them over. Just as when she put the dishes over the counter, Sasuke, from probably a few steps away from her, spoke.
"Hinata," he called. At this, Hinata looked back at her husband. "It's the ANBU's acting captain. He's in the living room."
Was it purely coincidental that the ANBU suddenly appeared at their doorstep?
"Oh," she let out. It was a shame she did not read the scroll and now the captain was in their home. She started walking towards the exit of their kitchen while Sasuke leaned on the wall. When she passed by him, Hinata whispered a small request, "Come with me. . .please."
If Hinata was being honest, she did not want to be alone with someone who could potentially be dangerous. No, the ANBU was dangerous. Not that she was questioning the military force of Konoha, it was just because even if they were shinobis, she would rather not trust anyone easily — especially those whom she did not know. Aside from those, Sasuke. . .he did not trust the ANBU so neither could she.
"Hn," her husband said. "I'll be right here with you. Go ahead."
"Thank you," she said with a soft smile before taking small breaths.
The walk towards the living room was a long one. Hinata did not know if it was just her, but there was something different about the air. She started shaking, but Hinata managed to calm herself down. And then there was a droplet of sweat that ran from her temple to her chin. Now that was out of the ordinary. It was just the peak of summer, so it was not all throughout hot.
So. . .was she nervous?
Why would Hinata be nervous? It was just the ANBU. They were a powerful bunch, but she was a kunoichi. Not only that, but the man in their living room was alone while she had Sasuke. Why was she worrying so much?
"Uchiha-san," the man in a boar mask said, standing out to reach her hand for him to shake, even acknowledging her with the proper title everyone should call her. At this, Hinata gave her hand. "You already know why I am here."
"Yes—"
"Then it is by any rights that you should go to the headquarters exactly 5 o'clock sharp. No exceptions."
"But I haven't been briefed about th—"
"You have your scroll, don't you, Uchiha-san?" asked the ANBU, flicking his gloves in front of Hinata — almost hitting her cheek if she did not take a step backward. "Then if you have any sense, you would have read it earlier as soon as you heard the word 'ANBU' and mission. And they say you're a kunoichi with propriety. Is that what they expect of the war heroes these days?"
Hinata's eyes widened at the comments. No, those weren't just comments. They were insults.
"ANBU," called Sasuke, appearing in front of Hinata in a blink of an eye. Hinata was caught off guard with how fast everything was happening. "You dare disrespect the lady of the house in her own territory?"
"Oh, I can do whatever I want. I am a man with a legion on my back," said the man with a chuckle. "Stop being delusional, Uchiha. You're nothing against me."
"Apologize," said Sasuke, underneath his breath. Hinata could not see his face, but maybe it was better that way. Who knew what was happening with Sasuke? Then he continued and repeated the same words, "Apologize, acting captain."
"Fine," muttered the arrogant ANBU. The man tilted his head, and even with the mask on, Hinata could feel the smirk. "It was not in my intentions to make you feel mocked in your own home. May you forgive me with the goodness of your heart."
"Oh," said Hinata as she found the sarcasm annoying. She just wanted the man to get out of the house as soon as possible. She could not stand having guests such as this man. "You can leave now."
"Oh? Is that it?" the stranger asked. "Aren't you going to confirm if you're going? You were recommended by Sai, himself, the former ROOT. You know who he is, Uchiha? Your replacement. Another traitor to the village but redeemed himself. So, when are you going to do the same?"
"She's not coming," said Sasuke sternly. "You can leave now."
"Isn't that for your wife to decide?" the emphasis towards her title only made things worse. "You have no say in this, none at all."
"I'm not going," said Hinata, now her impulsivity taking over her as she stopped Sasuke from talking back. It did not matter if she missed missions. The man showed enough disrespect for her to change her mind about the ANBU. "I will talk to Sai-san over it. So can you just leave, please?"
As the small silence engulfed, Hinata found herself clutching onto Sasuke's sleeves and looking at the ANBU through his shoulder. The man — although with a boar mask on — looked very arrogant even with his posture. It was clear enough that there was mockery in the way his eyes behind the boar mask looked at her husband.
"Oh, am I really that uninvited here?" asked the ANBU.
"Yes," answered Hinata, now glaring at the man.
"I've been here for long and now you're telling me I'm uninvited?"
Sasuke's chakra flared up. Even without activating the byakugan and with the naked eye, she could see her husband's chakra which was almost impossible if the vessel does not have enough chakra.
Hinata caught a glimpse of the man in front of them and saw that he — too — was flaring his chakra, but not as much as Sasuke. The man behind the boar mask seemed like he was just showing that he was also as powerful. If she did not end this now, it would result badly.
In all honesty, Hinata did not get what the man said.
"Careful now, you fool," said the ANBU. "Activating. . .that. . .thing will cause you another month. Killing me would cause you a lifetime."
They were probably talking about jail since Sasuke-kun was held in prison for a long time after the war ended, recalled Hinata. She didn't try to analyze the ANBU's words more, rather she focused on what they were about to say after that.
"Then leave," said Sasuke with the same tone he used earlier. "Leave this instance."
"As far as I know, at least according to the captain, we are to keep a close eye on you," said the man, smirking. "Have you forgotten your place, you traitor?"
"Do your job without insulting my wife. You could've done that," Sasuke said in a dangerous low growl. There was nothing Hinata could do but clutch onto Sasuke's sleeve more. This seemed to work since he calmed his shoulders but kept his intimidating posture. "Now leave this place."
"Acting lovey dovey, are we?" asked the ANBU. "One of the recent reports you made didn't make sense. If you think you could get away from everything using your wife, you're wrong. Your wife may come from a respected clan, but that's no guarantee against the ANBU."
Her knees weakened as she tried to look straight ahead. She could not even put up a stance nor go back to her pose. So, she just held onto Sasuke tightly. His arm draped around her waist to support her. Hinata could not muster a weak smile at her own husband.
"Can you please just leave?" asked Hinata weakly.
Such a wonderful morning to be destroyed by some arrogant stranger who acted like he knew everything that was happening in their house. The man left and Hinata found herself not looking at Sasuke. Neither did he try to look at her, too. It was a mutual agreement.
I know it's been a while and it is safe to say that it's something personal. Though I will try to update next month with my usual weekly updates. I still hope you are all fine and still kicking.
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
All my love.
