The conversation with Snape turned constantly around in Draco's head for the following week, so much so that it almost succeeded at pushing Amelia Collins from his mind. He wished that Snape's words helped to absolve him of the guilt and shame he felt, but it did little for this. The small consolation was that the Dreamless Sleep potion he now took every night meant that he woke up feeling less haggard and able to put up more of a front around the castle, he hoped.
It was Wednesday night, and Draco walked along an empty corridor towards the library, where he was to meet Amelia to work on their latest Potions assignment. She'd reluctantly demanded that they begin these again at the beginning of term in anticipation of the next assignment, to which Draco had merely smirked and shrugged, whilst harbouring an odd internal excitement at the idea.
Draco heard a familiar voice say his name and turned to see Amycus Carrow leaning against the door of his office, the dimly lit corridor casting jagged shadows across his face, making him look more menacing than usual.
"What do you want?" Draco asked, unconsciously heightening himself. Even without Snape's tip off, he could sense that Carrow saw his doubts from the suspicious looks that were often thrown his way during Dark Arts lessons.
"A word."
Carrow beckoned Draco to follow him into his office. Slightly confused, Draco followed.
"Have a seat," Carrow said in his slimy voice. Draco obliged, feeling increasingly unnerved by whatever was happening.
Carrow let the silence hang in the air as he stood on the other side of his desk, looking down on Draco.
"Was there something you wanted?" Malfoy asked in a curt voice, folding his arms across his chest and holding eye contact with Carrow. Having the small amount of bottled energy that sleep through the night now gave him, he felt less jumpy and detached from his surroundings.
Carrow's face twisted into a smile, baring teeth that looked as if they'd been neglected for decades. "I've been watching you, Malfoy."
Silence, again. Draco could hear the thumping of his own heartbeat in his ears, but he fixed his face into a faint smirk.
"That seems a bit inappropriate, professor."
"You can take that smug look off your face, Malfoy."
His smile widened as Draco's expression faltered.
"What exactly do you want, Carrow?"
Amycus came around to the front of the desk, leaning against it. "Just a word of warning, really," he started, his beetle like eyes boring into Draco's, the foul stench of his breath making Draco's nose wrinkle in disgust. "You may walk around like you are untouchable, but don't forget that you owe your life to the mercy of the Dark Lord."
Draco's lip twitched at this, but he stayed silent as he watched Amycus' cheeks flush.
Draco stood, determined not to back down against the older Death Eater's veiled threats. "Is that all? I'd hate to keep you from marking first year's essays."
It was Carrow's turn to drop his expression, his face contorting into anger. In a flash, he had grabbed Draco's collar and lifted him almost off his feet, pulling him close so that Draco could feel his hot breath against his face.
"I know you were with Snape the other night. Tell me what this little meeting was about, and I'll leave you be."
"How do you –
"Smarter than I look, it seems. You – not so much, apparently. So, I'll ask you again: anything you'd like to share?"
"Not jealous, are you Carrow?" Draco said sarcastically as his right hand slowly and steadily moved towards his back pocket, where his wand thankfully was.
Without breaking eye contact Carrow snatched Draco's wrist as it moved towards his wand and twisted it, causing Draco to grimace in pain.
"What are you doing Malfoy? I know you're up to something!" Carrow shouted, twisting Draco's wrist so hard now he thought it might snap.
"None of your business, Carrow! Take your hands off me," Draco shouted back through gritted teeth, and to his surprise Carrow let go of his wrist, flinging him to the floor like a ragdoll.
Draco fumbled for his wand, but as he raised it, Carrow flicked his own effortlessly and Draco's went flying obediently into Carrow's waiting hand.
"You're a slimy, shady, useless waste of space, you know, Malfoy?" Carrow said, stalking over to him. He flicked his wand again and Draco's sleeve shot up, revealing his Dark Mark.
"Undeserving, ungrateful, pathetic…" Carrow was muttering as he continued to advance on Draco. He pointed his wand at Draco's Dark Mark and Draco watched as it went bright red, and in an instant, burned so searing hot that Draco thought his skin must be bubbling or blistering. He clamped his other hand down on the burning tattoo, trying to restrain a scream through gritted teeth as he doubled over, Carrow's shrill laughter in the distance.
"Strut around all you like, but know that I am watching you. I know that you're a cowardly little weasel, just like your father. I know you're waiting for a moment to desert the Dark Lord. And if this is what you're cooking up with Snape… Well, I, for one, cannot wait until you do try to escape your duties and you become fair game…" He flicked his wand once more and the pain quickly dulled from Draco's Dark Mark. He was doubled over on the floor, blinded by the intense pain, trying desperately to catch his breath as he heard footsteps coming towards him. "We're all waiting for Luscious Malfoy's prodigal son to stuff it all up… again."
Cradling his quivering arm against his body, Draco managed to stumble to his feet. He looked Carrow in the eye. "Perhaps if you didn't have the brains of a half-dead troll, you would actually scare me," he said in a snide voice.
Carrow stopped immediately, his face flushed, his eyes buldging. Before Draco could react, he drew his hand back and roughly backhanded Draco, causing him to stumble into the wall.
Draco heard Carrow laughing and the sound of his own wand being kicked back towards him.
"Get out of my office, Malfoy."
Draco considered a last attempt to leave with the upper hand, but his arm was still throbbing in pain and he could feel his mouth fill with blood from a cut on his lip. He gave Carrow one last reproachful look as he snatched up his wand and spat blood onto the floor, before hurrying out of the office.
Draco clumsily made his way down the corridors, thankful that there were no students about. He wiped the trickle of blood he could feel coming from his lip onto his sleeve and decided he would have to find a bathroom to clean himself up before going back to the Slytherin common room if he were to avoid any suspicion. He felt his vision go blurry again and steadied himself against the wall, looking down at his Dark Mark, which still pounded in pain.
"Malfoy?"
Draco squeezed his eyes closed. He started walking again, choosing to ignore whoever it was calling from behind him.
"Hey – Malfoy. I've been waiting in the library for twenty minutes for you!"
It was Amelia. Draco exhaled loudly and stopped where he was in the corridor, allowing for Amelia to catch up to him.
"Look, I know you don't give a damn about – woah, what happened?"
She stopped as she took in his appearance. Draco hastily wiped his mouth again, unable to look her in the eye.
"Nothing," he muttered, feeling more pathetic than he had in Carrow's office.
Amelia frowned, coming to stand in front of him. "Who did this?" She asked in a low voice. Draco glanced at her – it was almost as if she looked concerned.
"None of your business, Collins," he said, trying to push past her. As he did, she caught his wrist in her hand.
"Malfoy, you're bleeding."
"It's fine."
She pulled gently on his wrist; her touch seemed to sooth the pain Draco felt. "Doesn't look fine. Here." Draco allowed her to pull him into a classroom to their right.
Amelia closed the door behind them and led Draco to one of the empty chairs. He sat down without a word, once again unable to look her in the eye.
Draco was thankful she didn't ask any more questions as she knelt down in front of him, taking a small handkerchief from her pocket and dabbing it lightly on Draco's lip. He was too exhausted and in too much pain to protest, and sat numbly as she cleared the blood from his face. Her thumb lifted his chin gently as she surveyed the damage, her brows knitted together in concentration and still, a look that was unmistakably concern.
"There," she eventually said, stuffing the handkerchief back into her pocket. She rested back on her haunches and took in Draco's appearance as he took to staring at the floor. He knew that she was waiting for some form of explanation, but he didn't have any for her.
He felt her fingers brush against his cheek. "You're bruised," she observed.
For the second time in Amelia Collins' company, Draco acted without any thought and grabbed her hand as she brought it away from his face, raising his gaze to meet hers.
It felt different than before Christmas as Draco pulled her closer to him, cupping her face with his hand and pressing his lips softly against hers. She did not hesitate as she had before; her hands came to rest on his shoulders as she knelt up to meet his lips properly.
The pain in Draco's arm melted away as Amelia let her hands slide down his arms and snake around his middle, as he brought his hand to the back of her head, pressing her lips deeper into his.
It seemed like hours before they parted, Amelia resting her head against his, her hands still firmly around him.
"Malfoy… what are you doing?" She whispered in a lamenting voice.
Draco waited a moment, the knot of anxiety swelling once more in his chest.
"You are correct, about everything," he admitted slowly, once more acting without thought of consequence. As he said this though, Amelia pulled back slightly to observe him, concern plaguing her features once more.
It was the first time Draco had admitted this out loud, even to himself. The anxiety loosened slightly. At least someone knew; if he died, at least one person would know he wasn't just a Death Eater.
Amelia nodded, understanding his admission. She brushed his hair from his eyes and smiled sadly.
"But it doesn't change anything," he said.
Amelia frowned once more. "What do you mean? It changes everything."
Draco shook his head. "Not for me. This… position I'm in. It can't be changed, or fixed. This is how it is."
"And you're happy just accepting that?"
Draco shook his head. "Nothing about this makes me happy," he said, in a tone darker than he intended.
Amelia didn't push the subject, instead drawing Draco closer, placing her hand back on his cheek and tentatively kissing him. Draco grinned against her lips as he pushed everything out of his mind, just for a moment.
