The days became longer and warmer and suddenly it was the end of March. Draco recalled the beginning of Spring in previous years at Hogwarts, where a newfound excitement would buzz through the air and students would spend warm, lazy weekends lying out in the grassy grounds or sitting in huddles in the sunny courtyards of the castle. This year though, the return of the sunshine went unnoticed. A dark cloud seemed to hang perpetually over Hogwarts, sucking energy and hope from anyone underneath it. Even the teachers were reserved in their lessons, edgy and quick to lose their temper. It seemed that everywhere Draco would turn, Carrow would be watching him and he started to become anxious that the older Death Eater knew something about him and Amelia.
"Why is he so interested in you, anyway?" Amelia asked one evening as they sat in the far corner of the library, their potions essay in front of them in a potential defence for any students walking by.
Draco shrugged. "Thinks I'm undeserving, I suppose. I'm sure he's not the only one… Just the only one within reach."
They were holding hands under the table, so that no one could see if they were to walk past.
"Anyway, as much as I love to talk about Carrow while I'm in a secluded corner of a dark room with you…" he trailed off as he leant in to give her a soft kiss. He felt her smiling as he pressed his lips against hers, squeezing her hand and pulling her closer.
It was a warm evening and Draco and Amelia sat by the lake, in a spot that had unintentionally become their own. It was a small grassy bank, completely surrounded by billowing willows, giving it privacy from the castle behind it. Amelia lay with her head in his lap, twisting her fingers through his as he sat against the trunk of a willow tree, looking out to the lake. He had never imagined this would be how he would spend his seventh year at Hogwarts, and in her presence, often regretted how oblivious he was to her in previous years. So much time that they could've spent together, without the guarantee of a future, felt maddening.
"Draco?"
She shifted and looked up at him; he braced himself.
"If we do win the war, what will happen to us?"
He frowned, unsure of what it was she was asking. "Well, I would hope we would lead much more fulfilling lives than we do at the moment."
"No, I mean, me and you."
Draco allowed himself a smirk as he looked at her, clearly tentative about asking this.
"Everything is so secretive at the moment, but if we win the war, it won't have to be," she said, choosing to look at the lake now rather than him.
"True," he said, deliberately ambiguous. "It's secretive because I'm embarrassed by you – I thought you knew that."
Amelia laughed and hit him on the arm. "Draco!" She whined playfully, relaxing against his sarcasm.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Amelia – we're both risking our lives by even sitting here together, do you really think I'm not going to at least take you out to dinner when this whole thing is finished?" He said dryly.
"So… you would want to be with me? Properly, I mean."
"Properly," Draco echoed in confirmation.
She broke out into a smile – one so sweet and genuine it almost caught Draco off guard – and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him on the cheek.
He wanted to add that the prospect of them being together after the war made him happier than he thought was possible, that a future with her was brighter than any prospective plan he had ever dreamed of, but he couldn't find the words. He put his arms around her and hoped that she somehow knew how he felt.
By April, Spring was in full swing. Tensions were rife around the school as Slytherins whose families were Death Eaters had full reign over other students, and teachers were almost powerless against Snape and the Carrows – who, incidentally, seemed happier than ever in their roles.
It was a Saturday afternoon and the sun bore down on the castle's grounds, and floods of students escaped the dampened castle walls to sit around the grassy surrounds in small groups. Draco had been forced out into the fresh air by Pansy, who had recently taken to attempting to rekindle a flame between them, much to Draco's obvious dismay. She had sat down beside him in the Slytherin common room, chewing his ear off about some nonsense, when he flatly announced he needed to see a teacher. After walking aimlessly around the castle, he had decided to take his wanderings outdoors. A voice in his head told him that he was just hoping to see Amelia, perhaps reading a book in the sunshine, that he might be able to glance her without her being aware of his presence, but this thought made him feel stupid so he shook it.
But she was there. Not reading a book, but talking animatedly with her friends, almost rolling on the grass with laughter as she and Ginny Weasley exchanged giggles. A surge of jealousy ran through him as he watched Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan sit with the small group of friends, each greeting Amelia with a soft pat on the back as she smiled up at them. He felt instant resentment towards everyone who was with her – he would never be able to be like that with her, in the open and carefree.
She caught his eye as he walked nearby, just as Crabbe and Goyle fell into step with him. He knew that she couldn't risk a smile, and nor could he, but they held each other's gaze for a long second, before she averted her attention back to whatever conversation her friends were having.
Crabbe was recounting to Draco about making a first-year cry at breakfast that morning with immense glee, when a third year Hufflepuff boy ran straight into him. The boy turned around, looking petrified, and stammered an apology.
Crabbe grunted and roughly shoved the boy, who stumbled back and fell onto the ground. "Watch it next time," the older Slytherin growled.
As the boy sprinted off, almost in tears, Draco rolled his eyes. "I would've hoped that by seventh year you'd be searching for more stimulation than terrorising small children, Crabbe," he said in a cool tone. Crabbe mumbled under his breath as they continued to walk, while Goyle laughed at Draco's comment. Draco couldn't help but allow himself a small smirk – it seemed that where he had lost power anywhere else, Crabbe and Goyle seemed to still fall into line under him.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size, eh?" A voice rang out from behind the three Slytherins. They wheeled around and saw Dean Thomas standing amongst his friends.
Draco caught Amelia's eye and saw a hint of pleading in them.
"That's not the Slytherin style. Theirs is the coward's way – isn't that right, Malfoy?" Seamus Finnigan piped up from beside Dean.
A sudden rage took over at these words and Draco immediately renounced his plan of walking away without altercation. "You volunteering, Finnigan?" He strode towards the two Gryffindor boys, flanked obediently by his two meathead friends.
"If I was, I certainly wouldn't be afraid of you – does our side a lot of good, you know, having Death Eaters as pathetic as you," Seamus bit back, puffing his chest out, his wand gripped in his fist by his side.
Draco acted without his wand though, grabbing Seamus by the collar of his shirt, his fists shaking with rage. "Say that again, Finnigan," he snarled through gritted teeth.
"We know you're all talk, Malfoy – everyone knows what happened on the Astronomy Tower last year. Without these two idiots or your father to stand behind, you're nothing," Seamus pressed. Draco heard either Crabbe or Goyle grunt behind him, and a familiar voice say 'Malfoy, don't,' but his body reacted without thought of consequence as he shoved Seamus roughly to the floor, diving on top of him as he willed his fist to connect with his face.
He felt another body throw itself into the rumble on the grass and felt Dean's knuckles drive into him, splitting his eyebrow with a hot and searing painful blow.
A large, strong force lifted Draco off the ground and threw him to one side, causing him to stumble on his feet as he wiped a small trickle of blood from the side of his face. He looked up and saw Hagrid, looking down at him furiously.
"Malfoy- what're ye playing at?" The groundskeeper asked Draco. "Yer the Head Boy, for crying out loud!"
Draco looked to where Seamus and Dean stood, a couple of metres to the other side of the half-giant. He was happy to see that Seamus had a fat lip.
Draco glared at Hagrid, attempting to straighten up his jacket. "None of your business."
"Fighting in the school grounds, yer all better than this, surely," Hagrid said, sounding exasperated.
Seamus and Dean mumbled an apology as they glared over at the Slytherins. Draco's gaze was pulled towards the girl standing just behind Seamus and Dean, her face stony.
"Right – well, off ye go. Just… keep out of each other's way, will ye?" Hagrid said, directing this to all the students, but letting his eyes linger on Draco, who was still busy trying to catch Amelia's eye.
Seamus started to walk away, making sure to bump Draco roughly in the shoulder as he did. Draco hardly noticed though as Amelia's eyes finally turned to him. He found it hard to read the expression on her face and as she passed him and he acted without consequence once again, grabbing her wrist.
"Wait –
She shook her hand from his, looking up at him with a frustrated confusion. "Not now," she breathed in a low voice, before following her friends back up to the castle.
Every time Draco tried to find a moment to speak to Amelia that week, she would make a quiet excuse and hurry off. When Draco finally cornered her after Potions on Friday afternoon, she sighed and leant back on a desktop, folding her arms across her chest.
"Okay, so you're clearly annoyed," Draco started, and immediately regretted this opening as he saw the look on her face. She scoffed and cocked an eyebrow expectantly, pursing her lips as she waited for him to speak again. It was one of the only times in his life where he felt himself under pressure and scrambling for words, but it made him adore her even more.
"He provoked me, Amelia! It wasn't as if I was looking around for a fight," he defended, feeling his frustration rise as she rolled her eyes.
"It might surprise you to know that there are actually other ways to respond to someone 'provoking' you than by diving on top of them," she said with a venom in her voice. "And before you say what I think you're about to – I was angry at Seamus and Dean as well."
Draco raked his hands through his hair, exhaling deeply. "Well I can't let someone just stand there and insult me – my family."
"Is your family really worth your defence?" Amelia argued back. Draco's eyes snapped up and his expression dropped. "Aren't they the ones who got you into this entire mess?"
"Pardon?"
"You speak about needing to stay in line in order to protect them, but Draco – when have they protected you? Shouldn't that be their jobs?" Amelia uncrossed her arms, her expression softening slightly. "I know there is a lot I can't understand… and I know you don't want to talk about what happened last summer after Dumbledore… but it doesn't sound like your father has been exactly caring since then. Or before then: he's the one who's fed you all these horrible thoughts and beliefs your whole life!"
"Exactly – you don't know, so you have no right to cast your judgements on my family," he said, a shaky finger pointed at her. He watched as her expression changed and saw a hint of fear in her features. He willed himself to stop - he wasn't even sure if he believed what was coming out of his mouth, but it was like a reflex he could not contain and his rage overtook any rational action.
"You have no right to judge anything I do, in fact. Don't forget – you only know what I have told you. You understand nothing. You're just concerned about how I look to all your precious Dumbledore's Army buddies. I've already told you I have no alliance to the Death Eaters, but if you think I'm just going to switch around – risk my family's lives - and partner up with that lot then you'd be sadly mistaken."
His words were spoken harshly and he felt a stab of guilt as he watched her frown, her eyes filling with tears.
"I've never judged you, Draco – I just want to understand you. If you would just let me in, properly… Dumbledore's Army, The Order… they can all help you. I know they will, if you just let them." She went to put her arms on his chest in an affectionate pleading, but he stepped back, his rage controlling him completely.
Draco scoffed loudly. "What exactly makes you think I want help from anyone? When have I ever asked for that?!"
Amelia opened her mouth to retort, but was speechless and threw her arms up in frustrated defeat.
"You're upset because what you want is for me to fit into some perfect image you've created. Well I'm sorry Amelia but I'm not some experimental charity project for you to work on and fix up for your own self gratitude."
There was silence as Amelia appeared to roll these words in her head. "That's what you think?" She spoke slowly, as if giving him the opportunity to take it back. Her voice was small but dark and Draco wished that she would shout or bite back or slap him. He stayed silent, his jaw locked, his breathing heavy. He watched as she grabbed her bag and left the room without a backwards glance.
He kicked a nearby chair, sending a crashing echo around the empty classroom.
