Chapter 2
Manhattan
The next morning Kristen walked down the stairs to find her mother asleep on the couch. The contents of the box still lay out on the coffee table, some of it on the floor. She reached down, picked up a letter, and read it quietly to herself...
My Darling Alexis, when I said the words I love you I meant them with everything inside of me. But what exactly did I mean? I meant that to me you're the quintessential woman. Brilliant, beautiful, funny, compassionate, the list could fill a thousand pages. I meant that your safety and happiness are as vital to me as my own...
She stopped reading as her mother began to stir. Her gut was saying this was from him; that her father wrote that letter. However, one thing stood out in her mind, "if he loved her so much why did she leave him..." She placed the letter back onto the table and started to rummage through the box. She picked up a stack of pictures. "The looked so happy," she thought to herself. She took one of the photos and put it in her back pocket before placing the rest back in the box. She looked back up at her mother and she knew what she was going to have to do.
She proceeded back upstairs to her room and quietly closed the door. She took the picture out of her pocket and stared at, almost completely certain the man in the photo was her father, her dad. She knew she was going to have to find him on her own, because her mother certainly wasn't going to give her any information any time soon. She quickly put the photo in the nightstand drawer when she heard her mother walking down the hallway.
"Kristen, sweetie, can I come in?" Alexis said softly as she knocked on her daughters bedroom door.
"Yeah, sure." Kristen walked over to her desk and started filling her book bag. Alexis walked over towards the desk and placed a hand on her shoulder causing Kristen to turn around. "Look, mom…I'm sorry about last night, it's just…"
"I know," she interrupted her daughter. "I'm sorry too, about a lot of things."
Kristen looked to her mother intrigued by her mothers last statement. "Like what mom? Like about the fact that you won't tell me who my father is!"
"Yes, Kristen that's exactly what I'm sorry for," she spoke almost soothingly as she stroked her daughters hair. She sat down on the edge of the bed and patted it for Kristen to come sit beside her, and she did. "I did a lot of thinking last night and you're right you deserve to know who he is, so tonight I thought maybe we could go out to dinner and I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"Really?…" She tried not to get her hopes up; it wouldn't be the first time they never got around to talking about her dad.
"Really." She pulled her daughter into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Now finish getting ready for school, Sarah should be here soon." She kissed the top of Kristen's head again before getting up and making her way towards the door, but before she left Kristen stopped her.
"Mom…," she said quietly. "Yeah Kris?" "Thank you." Alexis smiled at her daughter, "your welcome." Alexis then left her daughters room and shut the door quietly, she knew telling her was the right thing to do.
Port Charles
Ned woke up with a start when he heard the knocking on the door. He scrambled to hide her picture and the letter he read over a million times the night before. He managed to get everything back in the drawer of his desk and to the door before whoever was there could knock again. He opened the door and was almost relieved that it wasn't anyone from the family, but still not to thrilled to see Jax standing there either. "You look like hell," Jax said as he waltzed into the gatehouse.
"What do you want Jax or did you come here just to insult me?" He asked almost seriously as he shut the door.
"Both actually," Jax walked into the living room, noting the half-empty bottle of scotch that adorned the table. "Rough night there Ashton?"
"What did you want Jax?" He asked getting annoyed.
"I'm heading to Manhattan to look into a possible takeover for ELQ, I thought the CEO may just like join me." In the past few years ELQ had been ripe for a takeover and Jax offered his assistance in preventing it, only on the condition that he remain in control of a quarter of the stock. Ned had no other choice but to agree to the terms and he had been hearing from grandfather for it ever since. But this offer to join him on the trip to Manhattan wasn't about business Jax knew it and so did Ned. Ned knew that Jax was only trying to help him get his mind off Alexis. Not only was yesterday the day she left him but the month ahead brought with them too many memories of her…and them.
"Look Jax, I know what you're trying to do and you don't have to. Besides someone has to stay here and keep my grandfather under control." He sighed and walked further into the living room.
"Ned, I know you still think about her, especially now. I saw you looking at her picture yesterday. It would do you some good to get away for awhile."
"Yes Jax I do still think about her, your right. But, going away isn't going to change what happened. I regret not going after her everyday, but it's been sixteen years I've moved on."
"Yeah, well if you change your mind or just get sick of your grandfather bellowing I'll be at the ELQ hotel room." Jax left the gatehouse more certain than ever that Ned was never going to get her out of his head. It may have been sixteen years since she had left him but he still held her in his heart whether he let others know it or not.
Chapter 3
Manhattan Hotel
Alexis and Kristen walked into the hotel restaurant for dinner. They had just about reached their table when Alexis stopped suddenly. Hearing her name she turned around and saw him, one of the last people she expected to see. "Jax!" Her voice trembled half from nervousness and the other from excitement. He immediately walked over to her and gave her a hug. He didn't even notice the young girl standing next to them. She backed out of the hug and looked at him, not realizing until that moment how much she missed his friendship. 'It's been a long time Jax."
He looked at her seriously, "I know." She evaded his look, as the moment suddenly turned awkward.
She knew he was waiting for an explanation, but she was not sure anything could justify what she did. "It's a long story." He just nodded his head in response. He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't going to tell him everything right then and there. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"
It wasn't until she asked that question that he noticed the young girl standing next to Alexis. He looked at her, then looked back at Alexis. Their eyes met for a moment, he knew the answer to the question that he knew he shouldn't ask. The answer was obvious, the resemblance was incredible. "And why who might this lovely young lady be Alexis?"
She smiled at him slightly, almost thanking him for not walking down that road just yet. "Why this is my daughter Kristen, Kristen this is Jax. He's a really good friend of mine, from Port Charles."
"Nice to meet you," she stated simply still unsure about what was going on. It was obvious by the way her mother interacted with him that they were close. She wondered why they had lost contact and if it had anything to do with her father.
Port Charles
He walked back into the gatehouse after having dinner up at the main house. It was a choice he instantly regretted. He didn't have the energy to play family gatekeeper, but yet he went up there anyway. All hell had broken out as usual and as he started to break things up and send everyone to their corner he couldn't help but think of her. He tried to get her out of his head, but he failed. He wasn't sure why every now and then little things like his family fighting made him think of her. He thought that maybe it was because she was his refuge, she understood gatekeeping and all that came with it. He sighed knowing that no matter how hard he tried she would forever hold a piece of his heart, no matter how much she had broken it.
He walked over to the wet bar and poured himself a glass of scotch. He then went over to the desk, opened the drawer and pulled out the picture he quickly had to hide when Jax had came over. He had tried to move on. He really had, he even tried dating Lois again, but it didn't work nor did he expect it to. He walked back over to the couch picture and scotch in hand. He placed his drink on the coffee table, but kept the picture in his hand. He looked at it, at her. He tried again to make himself think he right had done the right thing. He forced himself to think that she was happy wherever she was. He just stared at it, unconsciously tracing the outline of her face with his forefinger. He sighed and whispered "why?" A question he was almost certain he would never know the answer to.
Manhattan Hotel
She had laughed almost all night, listening to stories of Port Charles from Jax. The awkwardness had quickly slipped away and it was like she had never left. To her relief Jax didn't ask to many questions about why she left or Kristen. As they finished up their dessert she asked him if he wanted to come back to their apartment and have some coffee. Of course he had said yes, she was his closest friend, but more importantly he wanted answers.
Kristen, although she put up a good front, was upset that her mother had invited Jax to dinner and then back to the house. It ruined any possible chance of her finding out who her father was; and she couldn't help but think that she had invited him back to avoid having that conversation. It was extremely possible, after all she had avoided it for sixteen years, why not a little but longer.
The three of them headed back to the apartment, and as soon as they arrived, Kristen went straight up to her room. Alexis knew from experience not go up and try and talk to her, it was useless. She knew Kristen was angry. They didn't get to talk about her father and she knew they would have another fight about it in the morning.
"Do you need to go talk to her," Jax asked sensing the tension between mother and daughter all night.
"No, she'll be fine," she stated as Jax followed her over to the couch. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before she looked up at him. "I guess there are some questions that need answers." She spoke cautiously, not sure if telling him what really happened was an option. He nodded his head urging her to continue. "I'm not quite sure where to begin."
He reached out and took her hand, "just start from the beginning." She nodded wiping the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. She began to tell Jax what happened to make her leave Port Charles, but little did she know that Kristen was listening at the top of the stairs, hoping to hear about her father.
Her emotions began to get the better of her, as she had to explain why she made her decision to leave. The history behind it he had been there for but she felt it needed to be told to better understand what she was about to disclose. "You have to believe me when I tell you that leaving was the last thing I wanted to do," she swallowed as she warily continued. "I had no choice."
He looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean you had no choice? Alexis he was miserable for the longest time without you and I'm 100 positive you were the same way."
"It's complicated; actually I'm not quite sure I should be telling you this."
"Alexis, I know it's been a long time, but whatever it is...you can trust me."
"I know I can Jax…I know…it's just…" Her sentence trailed as evidence of fear began to grow in her eyes.
"Alexis is someone threatening you," he asked seriously, almost certain of his last statement. She raised her head and looked him in the eye for the first time since she attempted to tell him what happened all those years ago.
"There are just some things I can not tell you tonight Jax." She tried to evade the line of questioning Jax was heading towards. He was dead on and she was afraid to give him the answers she was certain he already knew.
"It is…it was Helena wasn't it?" She didn't respond, and he knew he was right. Helena has somehow threatened Alexis and it caused her to leave Port Charles, to leave Ned.
As they both sat there in silence as Alexis fought back the urge to just tell Jax everything, Kristen had made her way to the top of the staircase. She had known from the dinner conversation that Jax was a close friend of her mothers. It was also obvious that he had known her mother when she was with her father. She hoped that maybe they would bring him up in their conversation now. She was desperate to know anything about him. Unfortunately, she heard more than she wanted to know, but it did explain a lot. Her mother had spoken of Helena on more than one occasion, what she did was despicable and it made sense for her mother to be afraid. What she didn't know was that she was one of if not the only reason her mother left her life n Port Charles.
After a long silence Alexis got up of the couch and walked over towards the fireplace. Jax got up and followed her. "Look Jax, you have to promise me you won't tell Ned any of this when you go home tomorrow. You can't even tell him that you saw me. I don't need for him to come looking for me. There's to much at risk. "
Kristen rose from her seat at the top of the stairs as the conversation suddenly took a turn. The way she spoke of this Ned, the sound of her mothers voice, it made her believe that Ned was the one who wrote the letters. Ned was the one in the picture she put in her bed side table. That Ned was her father. If only she could get them to mention a last name, if only.
"What's at risk Alexis, you need to tell me so I can help you," he said calmly as he put a hand on her shoulder. "I can help you get your life back." She turned and pulled him into a brief hug.
"I'm sorry Jax, but you can't, you can't help me this time. Just promise me you won't tell him." Her eyes pleaded with him. Whatever demon she was battling it was serious, and she wasn't going to let it effect anyone she loved.
"I'm not going to tell him," he swallowed hard as he continued. "I promise you Alexis."
"Thank you," she said softly as he walked towards the door. Kristen hearing the footsteps coming back towards the staircase had retreated back to her room, where she pulled the picture out her bedside table as tears streamed down her face.
"I'm going to call you tomorrow; my offer to help you with this will always be on the table Alexis."
"Thank you." Jax opened the door and started to walk out the door, "I'm glad I ran into you tonight Jax."
"I'm glad too," he said smiling slightly as he closed the door.
She sighed and began to ascent the staircase, knowing that she now had to go face her daughters many questions. Kristen hearing her mother climb the staircase had quickly shoved the picture under her pillow and climbed under the covers. The last thing she wanted to do tonight was hear her excuses. She was positive that whomever Ned was to her mother, he is her father…, and she is going to find him herself.
Alexis knocked lightly on the door, after receiving no response she quietly opened the door and approached her daughter's bed. Kristen was asleep, she was almost thankful that she did not have to answer any more questions tonight. She kissed her forehead and moved to switch the light on the nightstand before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
Later that night, when she was sure her mother had turned in for the night, Kristen quietly walked down stairs and went to the closet where her mother kept the box. She had never questioned it before, but now she new what it contained, all the answers to every question she ever had. She already knew her fathers name was Ned and he lived in Port Charles, hopefully after tonight she would know exactly where to find him. She went through the box, the memories of the love of a lifetime making themselves evident. Love letters, dried flowers, things that only her mother would understand. Finally, on the bottom of the box she found what she was looking for. A wedding invitation. Edward Lawrence Ashton and Alexis C. Davis request the pleasure of your company as they unite in holy matrimony on the 18th of December 2000. "Bingo," she said quietly and began to place the objects back in the box.
