DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'CSI'. They're not my property.
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. You keep lying when you oughta be truthin'.
Sara's foot moved steadily to the rhythm of the song, whilst the lyrics made her chuckle.
And you keep losin' when you oughta not bet. The music was on a much louder volume than her ears had been used to, but somehow the song sounded better on this volume through her headphones. Her head soon started following the movement of her foot when she turned a page of the journal.
When Grissom came in his office and noticed Sara's position, he stopped just behind her. "Sara?" he called her. No response. Tilting his head slightly, it was then that he clearly noticed the headphones on her. Exhaling, he wondered whether to simply reach for the stop button on the mp3 player, walk around for her to see him and stop the music herself, or tap her shoulder.
It wasn't long before Sara noticed her supervisor circling the desk to have a seat. This caused her to reach over to her portable player quickly and stop the song.
"Didn't know you carried one to work as well," Grissom said.
"I got bored waiting…"
"Such loud music is torture to the ears."
Sara smirked. "Coming from you?"
"And why the surprised reaction?"
"I caught you listening to your mp3 player twice before… and it wasn't exactly quiet."
Grissom looked up at her, slightly disturbed. His hearing was in trouble then, he couldn't listen well. But that was then and Sara luckily didn't know. "You're still young. Me… whatever happens, happens."
"Not concerned about your hearing?" Sara took off the headphones and leaned back in her chair. "That's odd."
Not wanting to dive into a conversation that might force him to reveal his past surgery earlier than planned, Grissom quickly diverted it to the safer option – the case. "Any findings on the case?" he asked her.
"Y-eah. Well, not on those three cans, but…" she pulled out a sheet of paper with some scales on them. "You know that canned beef we found in her apartment?"
"Aha."
"It had the toxin. Turns out she had a visitor the day before she went camping."
"Her ex. That much we know."
"He was the one that made dinner."
Grissom read the evidence on the sheet of paper carefully. "He poisoned her."
"Yes."
Grissom nodded. He was pleased. "Nice work."
"Thank you. Where were you, by the way? Took you some time to get here."
"Ah, a friend of mine needed some bug advice."
"Oh… what kind of bug advice?"
Grissom looked up at her, not quite expecting from Sara to ask such a question.
"Textbook, remember?"
He smirked. "He was interested in the reproduction of Deroplatys lobata."
"The Malaysian Dead Leaf Mantis?"
"Mm."
"Oh."
"Are you familiar with it?"
"Yes."
"The mating process as well?"
"Some of it." She tried to appear modest and even a bit shy in her response. Frankly, although she had come to learn quite a few things about bugs, she hadn't had the opportunity to really use that knowledge more than that first time. She glanced down at her mp3 player and back at Grissom who was clearly waiting for her to continue. "What, you want me to tell you?"
"Er, yeah?"
"Will it be of any use?"
"Yes."
"Like for example?"
"Like… I might have missed some vital information about them."
"I don't think playing a clueless entomologist does much for you."
"Tell me anyway. I'm curious," he said and leaned his chin on his fist like a school boy eagerly listening to what a teacher might have to say.
"About the Malaysian Dead Leaf Mantis in general?"
"The breeding."
"Um… alright. Well… It's recommendable that both the male and female are at least three to four weeks since their last molt… otherwise they – the female at least – might not be mature enough to breed. Once the female is introduced to the male – and they should of course be left alone, if in captivity – um… it could take only a few hours for the male to mount the female or it might be days… depending. The male may remain on the female for a couple of days… poor girl… and then… ohh, I love this part." Sara grinned. "Afterwards, it is recommendable for the male to be removed so to not be consumed by the female."
It took him longer to respond than anticipated, but he blamed himself for it; for allowing himself be temporarily absorbed by the way Sara had talked about that type of insect. It felt refreshing in a way to hear a colleague speak about a specimen of this man's passion. Surprisingly, Sara appeared not bored or even disgusted by the subject. Either she was an incredible student for every subject presented to her or maybe she had taken some genuine interest in that book about insects that Grissom had given her… a present not hard for him to pick. His knowledge of Sara's wishes for a present was practically empty, so presenting her with a book on entomology was the easiest thing to select. Grissom found it rather amusing that the devouring of the male by the female was a favorite of Sara's. "You find that interesting? The male being eaten like that?"
"He served his purpose."
Grissom chuckled. "But, thankfully, that doesn't happen in the human world."
"Oh, I don't know. It could rid the planet of a lot of male scums out there."
"But some good specimens might fall victims as well. Now, that would be a shame."
Sara smiled tenderly to this. "Sacrifices have to be made."
"Yeah. If you and I slept together and you ate me afterwards, not only is the Lab going to suffer from my loss but, you'll be convicted."
"Terrible." Sara chuckled, although the words sleep and together coming out of Grissom's mouth were slightly unsettling for her. "But I'd probably take that risk… if the intimacy which preceded it was worth it…" she said.
This succeeded in silencing the room for a moment very well. It wasn't just the words that were spoken but, the way in which they were spoken that managed to temporarily suppress the need for verbal expression. "You would be a risk-taker for that?"
"Aren't I for a lot of things?"
"Yes, but for that?"
Her answer was a tender and quiet one. "I would." Sara sighed. She only wished that he could see how worthy she was for Grissom to take a risk for her.
His eyes watched her warmly but not openly. He wanted to but lacked the courage to open. Instead, he felt ashamed. Sara had risked a lot for him. She even stayed when it had truly been better for her to find a working position much more suitable for her. Did Grissom take risks for her? Big risks? No. He wasn't ready to. He wasn't ready and he felt guilty for it. Guilty and ashamed. He looked down at the papers on his desk. "There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction," he said quietly.
"John F. Kennedy," Sara guessed it.
Grissom smiled. "Nice to see that the book was of use to you," he said and finally looked up at her.
"It still is," she told him. "I'm, um… I'm going to get a cup of coffee. You want some?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks."
"Ok," Sara nodded and stood up. She took her mp3 player and gave Grissom one last look before quietly leaving his office.
He watched her leave. Grissom felt like a coward; a big, yellow coward. She was so beautiful and he was too frightened. When was that cowardliness going to come to a final end? Throwing his glasses on the desk, Grissom then leaned back in his chair and captured the beginning lines of his nose with his fingers as his eyes closed. He was really getting old….
"Have a moment to spare, Grissom?" Catherine walked into his office without waiting for an approval from her boss.
"Of course," he responded. "What's it about?"
"It's about your choice of partners lately, Gil…" she started as she slowly sat down on the chair in front of his desk.
"What about it?" he shrugged.
"Well… you've been working only with Sara for the past seven cases."
"That's not true. You, Warrick and Nick were included."
"Yeah, but only on one and you didn't work with us as much as you did with Sara." She sighed, looking at him with concern in her eyes. "People are starting to talk," she told him.
"Don't they always…" he couldn't care about hearing gossip again.
"It worries me frankly. As their supervisor, you should also be concerned."
"Why?"
"It's how you look."
"And how do I look?"
"Playing favoritism."
"She's a good CSI to work with, Catherine."
"So are we, but that doesn't seem to matter to you lately. What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Is that so… I'm not sure what your and Sara's current situation is, but it's not something to just be tossed aside. I mean, some here in the lab actually think that you two are sleeping together and that's why you keep working on cases together."
"Is that what they think?" Grissom smirked. "What poor judgment," he said.
"It wouldn't be long before that "poor judgment" reaches someone it's not supposed to reach."
"We happen to work well together," he gave an excuse.
Catherine was not convinced. "I'm not sure Cavallo will see that as something positive, Gil."
"It doesn't affect our investigations and the majority of the cases were solved. There really is no reason for him to suspect that anything is strange here."
"Oh, I think he might just do that."
"Nothing has changed in the way we conduct the investigations."
"Nothing? Look, I know you suck at these office politics." Receiving a look from Grissom, she continued. "I'm just being honest with you here. So – and this is only a suggestion as I know you won't listen otherwise – it might be better if you rethink this and get back to your old routine."
Grissom considered her reasons for a moment. He then sighed in defeat. She was probably right and he was too tired to argue. "Ok… you and I are working on the next case," he then said.
Catherine nodded without the disappearance of that concern from her eyes. "As I said I'm…"
"Just looking out for me. I know, Cath." He sighed again. But even her reasons did not appear sufficient to him.
