A/N: Hello all and welcome to chapter six. Last chapter saw the trolliness of Port messing with Qrow and now, we get to have more fun. Someone gets to go to class and see their new husband all the while trying to keep it secret.

An Unlucky Drunken Marriage

Summary: Qrow just wanted to relax after a long time away on a mission. Celebrating by hitting the new nightclub that opened up seemed good in his mind. Too bad he ended up drunkenly marrying a cute blonde knight in the process.

*Why Is He a Teacher?*

Two days had passed since Joan had drunkenly married one of the world's elite huntsmen and became the aunt of two of her friends. The weekend had overall been possibly the most miserable few days of her life but she didn't know that it was about to get a hell of a lot worse for her.

Joan and the rest of JNPR followed a few of the other first year teams into Professor Port's class, the blonde letting out a bored yawn at the thought of having to once again deal with another dull lesson first thing in the morning. 'Ugh, why did it have to be him? Why not combat class, or even History? At least those two are interesting. Sort of.' At least Dr. Oobleck had a fresh supply of coffee for her to raid when he wasn't looking.

"Not looking forward to today?" Pyrrha asked.

"Nope." Joan shook her head and rubbed the corners of her eyes, trying to wake up. "Port's voice can lull pretty much anyone to sleep. I swear he's the worst teacher here. I thought this was supposed to be Grimm Studies, not, 'I'm going to tell exaggerated stories from my youth time'. He's terrible."

"Chin up, Fearless Leader~!" Nora sang. She gave the blonde a healthy whump on the shoulder and Joan was thankful she had her Aura up to absorb the blow. Otherwise she'd have a really hard time explaining to the nurse why there was a giant bruise on her. "Maybe he called out sick!"

Joan rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Please. We're not that lucky. We'd have better luck convincing Glynda to make Cardin wear a skirt for a week as punishment."

"Careful. She might actually do that if she snaps," Ren warned. "The last thing we want is for someone to give her ideas."

Joan sighed and went to take her seat when her jaw dropped. Her eyes widened and she was pretty sure her hair started to turn grey. "No…no way. No fucking way. This can't be happening!" 'This has to be some kind of sick joke! There's no way! Nope! I refuse to believe this!'

Standing at the front of the class was not Professor Port as she expected. Instead, his spot was taken by the man she had drunkenly married and slept with. Qrow Branwen.

His pale red eyes glanced in her direction once and they made eye contact. However he didn't give any signs that he recognized her. "Team JNPR, correct? You're right on time. Take your seats; class is about to begin."

Joan felt an irrational anger start to bubble under her skin as she sat down, letting out an annoyed growl. Her notebooks slammed onto her desk with more force than was necessary and she crossed her arms, scowling at her husband. She swore that when she found the sick son of a bitch who put Qrow as a teacher, she'd beat them to death with their own skull. No, she didn't care that it wasn't physically possible. 'I'm going to kill someone, I can already feel it. Why? Why the hell is he even here!?'

Team RWBY burst into the classroom, all of them panting heavily, and Qrow took a sip of coffee from his mug. "Morning, girls. Do try to show up on time, will you?"

"UNCLE QROW~!" Ruby cheered and shared a high five with Yang. "Oh this day is going to be awesome!"

'No it fucking isn't.' Joan slumped in her chair. 'It's going to be a goddamn nightmare.' She could already feel her sense of murder spiking a bit. The large crate next to Qrow started to shake a little and the huntsman kicked it hard. It stopped moving after that. Clearly whatever was inside did not want to mess with him.

He looked over the roster and saw that everyone was present. "Alright then. Welcome to Grimm Studies. I'm Professor Branwen; I'll be your professor while Port is out on important business for the next month and a half. I don't know what he taught you, or claims to have, so I'm going to start off with a few simple questions. Who here can tell me what the weak points are on an Ursa?"

The class was deathly quiet.

Qrow looked around with a raised eyebrow and shook his head. "…you're kidding me, right? What has Professor Port taught you? And no, that question was not sarcastic. Close your mouth Winchester; I already know you were going to give me some smartass remark."

"Um…" Yang was brave enough to answer. "He doesn't really…teach, I guess is how I put it? He mostly just tells us stories about things he's accomplished as a huntsman. Half of which I think are lies."

"You and me both," Joan muttered, bringing out a snicker from Nora.

Qrow rubbed his temples and sighed before taking another sip of coffee. "Of course he has. That is a little unsettling. I'm almost hesitant to ask this, but has he given you any practical lessons?"

"Um, one at the beginning of the year," Weiss answered. "He put me against a Boarbatusk."

"Thank Oum he managed to do that at least," the huntsman muttered. A few students snorted in laughter and he cleared his throat to get their attention. "Okay, so it seems like I have a lot of work to do then."

He pointed to a diagram of an Ursa he had drawn. "The weak points of an Ursa are the underbelly and the throat. They defend those spots on their body the most, using their size to their advantage. However, when they attack, they typically like to rear up on their hind legs to swat you away. That leaves their belly open for you to counter. But, and here's the but part, stop snickering at the word, 'but', Winchester, you have to be fast. Take your time, and you'll end up being a Grimm's dinner."

The whole class was paying rapt attention now. Holy shit they had a teacher who knew what he was doing. Joan just wished they chose someone else.

Qrow pointed to the crate that lay on the floor beside him. "Can anyone care to guess what I have in here?"

"Um, a Grimm, sir," Weiss answered promptly before anyone.

"Correct, Schnee. Earlier before classes started I went and procured a Grimm from the Forever Fall Forest for you. Specifically, an Ursa, which is convenient for today's lesson. Now, I'll need a volunteer to demonstrate what they have learned today. Who wants to go?"

Ruby, Weiss, and Cardin all put their hands in the air.

"Hm." Qrow pursed his lips and his eyes settled on Joan's. "Joan Arc, is it? Congratulations, you're the lucky one who gets to go. Do you have your weapon on you?"

Cheeky son of a bitch picked her on purpose even though she didn't even raise her damn hand. She was going to kill him after class.

"I do." She gritted her teeth and patted Crocea Mors. She'd show him. 'Insufferable drunk asshole. Of all the goddamn people to marry while intoxicated, it had to be him. Fuck my life.'

"Ha, you picked her? Professor, she's the worst in our year," Cardin jeered. Never mind, she took it back. She didn't hate her life. She hated Cardin's.

"Precisely why I picked her," Qrow replied. "And before you boast, you're not much better yourself. How are those bruises Miss Nikos gave you and your whole team last week? Still sore?"

Team RWBY and Nora roared with laughter while Pyrrha flushed from the attention. Cardin slumped down in his seat with a scowl, glaring daggers at the professor, and Qrow ignored the dirty looks from CRDL before facing Joan. "Can you come to the front of the class, please? I assure you, you won't have to worry about being eaten in my class. I quite like having a clean track record of no fatalities and would hate to ruin that."

If Joan wasn't so damn annoyed at him, she'd have laughed. But as it was she was quite irritated with the man and she glared in his direction as she made her way to the front of her class, drawing the ancient longsword from its sheath.

Qrow looked at her weapon with a curious look but made no remark. Instead, he stood next to the large crate and prepared to open it. "Are you ready?"

Joan nodded, her grip on her longsword tight.

"Alright then. Show me what you can do." Qrow drew his claymore and cut the locks on the crate. The iron door sprung open and the Ursa inside burst out with an annoyed roar. Its gleaming red eyes focused on the blonde knight in front of it and it leapt at her.

Joan rolled under it and sprang to her feet, her sword nicking the beast's hide. A small cut appeared on its black skin and it roared in anger. That only irritated it more than actually hurt it.

It lumbered around and took another swipe at her. Its claws met the tough metal of her sword and she struggled to keep her footing. She was desperately trying to recall everything Pyrrha had taught her about swordplay and looked down at how the Ursa was positioned. Qrow merely took a sip of coffee.

She slid Crocea Mors down and cut off its right paw. The Ursa roared in pain and fell awkwardly, trying to use its remaining limbs to prop itself back up. Joan seized the opportunity and delivered a fatal strike, cutting off its head cleanly. The head fell on the floor with a wet thump and vanished in a flurry of ash and she let out a slow breath. It felt nice to not get her ass kicked in front of the entire freaking class as well as Qrow for that matter.

He would no doubt never let her hear the end of it if she did.

"Good work, Arc. Your swordsmanship could use some work, but you have good potential. Keep practicing and you won't be the bottom of your class. You'll be able to kick some serious ass." He nodded in approval.

Before Joan could take her seat Qrow leaned in to whisper to her quietly. "See me after class for a minute. We need to talk."

"About what, exactly?" she whispered with a hiss.

"About us, obviously." Qrow rolled his eyes. "Just do it, please. The longer we stay here like this, the more someone will get suspicious."

Joan wanted to smack him. But the entire class was watching and she didn't feel like getting detention for assaulting a teacher. Nor did she want to suffer a brutal death at the hands of Yang and Ruby for hitting their favorite uncle.

"Fine," she muttered with a reluctant growl. She went back to her seat and sat down with a huff, trying to think of various insults to call him.

"Well, with the practical lesson out of the way, now it's time for a quick quiz," Qrow announced. He silenced a series of groans with a hard stare. "Don't give me that. It's important to know your enemy's weaknesses and their strengths. If you don't know, then you're going to end up dead. This world doesn't need any huntsmen or huntresses to die due to a lack of paying attention in class. Getting eaten because you didn't know how to beat them is a bad way to go."

He picked up a stack of papers and started to walk through the class, handing them out. "You have until the end of the class. Scrolls away. Any form of cheating will be severely punished."

"How so, sir?" Cardin snorted. "Make us go on a field trip with you?"

"No. You'll be doing Professor Port's old laundry that he neglected to clean before leaving," Qrow answered with a smirk. "Trust me when I say you really don't want to know what half of those stains are." Joan was pretty sure she heard a gag from somewhere in the back of the class.

"Begin. When you are done, simply leave it on my desk," he said, ignoring the sound.

Joan picked up her pencil and let out an annoyed huff before she began.

The test was relatively simple, especially compared to Dr. Oobleck's. She assumed it was because he already knew like the rest of them that Professor Port was a horrible teacher. He didn't want to kill them right out of the gate.

Well…not all of them. She was betting he wanted to tease the hell out of her for his own amusement.

Joan wasn't the first to finish the test. That ended up being Weiss to no surprise. She proudly placed it on his desk and walked back to her seat with her head high, no doubt confident she had aced it. She wasn't the top of their class in terms of grades for nothing.

Joan looked at the paper and the answers she had given. 'They'll do. I mean, they're not wrong. At least I don't think they are. Screw it.'

She placed it on his desk with a scowl, but Qrow didn't say anything. He merely just continued to sip his coffee cup. Insufferable bastard.

The blonde could hear other students muttering irritably as they finished the test, and twenty minutes later the bell rung to signal the end of class.

Joan stood up and watched as the rest of the class began to leave. She glanced back at Pyrrha, who was waiting for her. "Hey, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch you in a bit."

Nora and Ren shared a look in confusion but Pyrrha nodded. "Okay. I'll see you."

Joan watched them go and she turned back to the professor who also happened to be her husband. The doors shut and she stalked over to him with a glare. "What? What in the name of Oum could you possibly want?"

"I just want to talk." Qrow motioned for her to take a seat in front of him. "Are you alright?"

"Do I look alright to you? Do I sound alright!?" she seethed. "No, I'm fucking not!"

Qrow rolled his eyes and placed his mug down. "I'll take that as a no. Have you told anyone?"

"Told anyone what?"

"That we're married. What else could I mean?"

"No," Joan admitted. "No one apart from my team knows. They obviously figured it out by the damn ring."

"That you took off, I presume?" Qrow asked.

"Yes." Joan scowled. "I don't need the entire school gossiping about us. I've heard enough from Nora."

"Girl does look like she gives Ninja Kid a hard time," Qrow observed. "Can't be too fun to deal with on a daily basis."

"No she's not. But she grows on you." Joan shrugged. "Get to the point, Qrow. Why did you want to talk?"

"Because of this." Qrow flung a rolled up newspaper at her and she caught it. She unrolled it to look at the headlines and her jaw dropped.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"Nope."

"…why aren't we arrested yet?" she asked.

"Thank Ozpin for that." He yawned. "His influence as the headmaster of Beacon is very strong in Vale. The police are more than content to overlook something for him."

Joan shook her head and sighed, placing it down. "Qrow…I have a question."

"Go on." He waved encouragingly.

"…how the hell is Ozpin a professor?"

"You and me both, Blondie."

"Yeah…hey! Don't call me that!" she protested.

Qrow only laughed and ducked under the newspaper she chucked at him.

At least they weren't at each others' throats…

A/N: And that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all again soon!

A Lovestruck A2#5371