Disclaimer: I understand some of you readers are very special. You might not have noticed that, even though anything can happen in a magical world, I do not own Star Ocean.
Date Posted: February 12, 2006
Author's Note: It's really hard to spell February. ;; It's a crappy month anyway. March is the Holy Month. Lots of good stuff is happening. Speaking of March- in the beginning of March, there's going to be a vote on an amendment that would ban gay marriage in the whole USA. Cross your fingers they don't pass it!
Also, sorry about you guys getting the alert saying I posted it on the 11th. I did, but it was formatted badly (No paragraphs. Ew.) so now it's better. ;;
Chapter 9: If I Fall
As Albel dashed from the restaurant into the night, he had only one thing on his mind- Fayt. He could feel his whole world falling apart, everything he had worked for was going up in flames tonight. He already missed Fayt painfully, but he refused to let himself cry.
Maybe when I was younger I would have cried, but I don't have the right to cry over death anymore. Damn it Fayt, I was supposed to protect you. Instead I was pinned to a wall by a knife while that bitch kissed you! And right in front of me, too. I failed. I let Fayt down, I let Sophia use him. I deserve worse then an easy fall to my death, much worse. Damn it, for the last three years Fayt's been in pain and I didn't stop it!
Albel bit his lip firmly, holding back tears. He ran on, staring at the muddy ground, tasting his own blood mixed with rainwater. He tried to imagine what Fayt might have been thinking as he ran down this path, to the very same cliff Albel was headed for.
Did he think about me? Was he still ashamed, did he feel worthless? Maybe he was angry at me. I did let him down.
Albel held back more tears, running faster, wanting to get to the end sooner.
I let my Fayt think I was dead. MY FAYT killed himself! I'm supposed to tell him everything will be ok! I failed. I'm just another failure. Failure. Failure.
The word echoed in Albel's head, mocking him with each running step he took, as muddy rainwater splashed up to wash blood off his hands. He could see the cliff ahead already, and ran faster, sprinting through the storm. A bright bolt of lightening lit the black sky, illuminating the edge of the cliff.
Time to end my miserable existence. Failures don't deserve to live.
Albel paused for a moment at the edge of the cliff. He closed pale lids over crimson eyes and leapt forward, feeling the ground below him disappear and turn to air as he fell. He was flying through the air, speeding towards the end he brought upon himself. The end he had wanted before Fayt.
And still it was Fayt that haunted him in what he knew were his last moments. Albel could picture Fayt perfectly as he spun through the air, every detail. The way his blue hair hung over his face messily when they were kissing, the adoration that shone in his green eyes, the soft feel of his lips, the way his body fit perfectly in Albel's arms.
But what haunted Albel most was that he could recall perfectly the terrified look on Fayt's face when Sophia kissed him, and the shame when he spoke of what she had done to him.
I should have stopped her.
That was the last thing Albel thought before he hit the ground and everything turned black.
Albel's eyes flew open, and he was greeted by a dull pain in his right side.
I can feel pain. Am I alive, or in hell?
He sat up slowly, looking around. Rain was pouring down heavily, falling in thick sheets against the pitch-black sky. A full moon illuminated the scene, rain clouds forming only at its edges to create an eerie mood in the sky.
Am I alive?
Crimson eyes darted around, searching for some sign of another life. Around him he saw only mud and rocks, complimented by junk people had thrown off the edge, with the occasional nearly dead plant trying to grow. The pain in his right side flared up as he turned, and he stopped, grimacing.
I've lived through much worse. And I must still be alive; this looks like the canyon… But how did I survive that fall?
Looking down, Albel realized he had landed on a thick old mattress, which must have broken his fall.
"Damn mattress, I could have died. At least I still have those poisons."
Albel looked to his right, ignoring the pain and reaching for the bottle of Advil beside him.
I'll just overdose on this. It'll kill me all the same.
A movement by the canyon wall caught his eye, something mostly hidden by a dead bush.
The thing appeared to be a man, his chest rising and falling slowly. Albel leaned in, trying to get a better view of the man, when he realized who it was.
"FAYT!" Albel yelled, filling with sudden happiness. Fayt only groaned, his eyes still firmly shut.
He's alive! Fayt's alive, we can be together again, he's ok!
"Fayt, you're alive! I'm alive! Fayt, we lived!" Albel dragged himself over to Fayt, lying on his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows.
Fayt's eyes opened slightly, gazing at Albel. His eyes were dull, almost lifeless. Their color was a hazy green, much like an ocean's clouded waters, in stark contrast to their usual sparkling emerald green. "Albel!" he croaked out, voice breaking as he spoke.
"It's me, Fayt. I'm here," Albel reassured him, his joy turning into worry.
Fayt smiled, though he still looked pained. "You're alive!"
Albel stared down at Fayt uncertainly. "Yeah, we're both alive. But you…" Albel ran his hand over a large wound in Fayt's head, just above his left ear.
"Am I going to make it?" Fayt asked softly.
Albel looked Fayt in the eye, wanting to tell him everything would be all right, that they would both be ok, that they would run away and never see Sophia again. He couldn't stand to see Fayt so close to death, and looking so hopeless, like he didn't care if he died.
"I don't know, Fayt. I'll try to save you." Albel tried to sound reassuring, but he wasn't sure of himself at all. Fayt tried to smile, but instead winced in pain.
My Fayt…I have one more chance to save him. I won't let him die, not MY poor little Fayt. He's going to survive no matter what.
"How did you find me, Albel?" Fayt asked as Albel sat up, lifted the other man's head into his lap.
"Masaki told us what happened. I killed Erik, nearly killed Sophia, then tried the same thing you did. It was only luck that I landed so close to you."
Fayt reached a hand out, taking Albel's hand. His grip was weak, but he hung on. "I doubted you, Albel. I didn't think you would come save me. I woke up and you weren't there, and I thought you must be dead. I thought if I just closed my eyes again, I would die. Then you came… I'm so sorry Albel, I love you."
"It's ok Fayt, you thought I was dead. And I thought you were dead. We're both going to be fine, I'm here to save you," Albel reassured him, parting his lover's thick, blue hair to see the cut on his head.
Albel ripped a wet strand of black cloth from his shirt and pressed it to Fayt's head, trying to stop the bleeding. Fayt winced, closing his eyes.
Fayt, in pain… I can't let him die here, I need to save him. He's counting on me; he's always counted on me. I can't let him down now.
"It's ok," Albel whispered. "I won't fail you this time, not anymore."
Fayt nodded. "I know you won't."
A bright bolt of lightening lit up the canyon and allowed Albel to see, with horrifying clarity, the wound in Fayt's head. It looked treatable, but it was bleeding heavily, and the edges of it were caked in mud, which was now stained red.
"Damn it Fayt, you're hurt…"
Albel wiped the mud off Fayt, still pressing the cloth against his head, attempting to slow the bleeding. Fayt winced again at this, and clung more tightly to Albel's hand, his eyes still closed.
MY Fayt isn't supposed to be hurt. He is going to live! He has to!
Albel pressed the cloth against Fayt's head more firmly, and the bleeding looked like it was slowing down. Fayt's eyes opened, looking more alert now.
"Albel… you came to save me," he said, his voice still sounding as though it was about to give out.
Albel smirked affectionately, inwardly flooded with relief. Gently, he cupped Fayt's cheek in his hand, running his thumb down the other man's face.
"I love you," he whispered, and leaned down, gently kissing Fayt. Fayt smiled, and regained that familiar look of adoration in his eyes.
"You're not bleeding so much anymore. You look more alive," Albel remarked, eyes moving up and down Fayt, searching for any other cuts.
Fayt smiled. "So I'll live?"
"Would I let you die?"
Fayt shook his head, and closed his eyes again, falling asleep.
It didn't take long for Fayt's head to stop bleeding entirely. The cut, which wasn't too widely opened, only needed Albel to hold it together for about an hour, during which Fayt slept.
Albel held the other man's head in his lap a while longer, admiring Fayt. He looked, Albel thought, peaceful when he slept. His face still had the same almost childish innocence Albel remembered, though he had no idea how Fayt managed to stay so innocent while Albel was off killing people.
"It hasn't been easy for him," Albel whispered to himself.
At the sound of his lover's voice, Fayt's eyes fluttered open. "Albel," he whispered hoarsely. "What did you do with Sophia? You said you nearly killed her… Will she be dead now?"
Damn it, if she lives, she's armed now. She's too afraid to use it, but she still has it.
"I don't know if she lived. I tried to get her to shoot me, too. She's crazy, Fayt. Completely crazy. And she's got a gun now." Albel frowned slightly. "But she's badly hurt. She had to be at least somewhat prepared for emergency when she came chasing after me, I figure she'll take care of herself. Then, with any luck, she'll sleep there. Perfect publicity scene."
Fayt looked as though he were processing this information, then nodded. "You have a plan, right?" he asked, looking up at Albel.
Albel smirked confidently. "I think so. We'll spend the night here, first- you need some rest."
Fayt smiled and answered, "I knew you'd pull through somehow Albel. You always do. She won't hurt us anymore, will she?"
Albel lay down next to Fayt, pulling him close. "I told you, I'm going to kill her. She'll never touch you again. After what she did to you, she has to die."
The blue-haired man nodded slowly and scooted closer to Albel, their rain-soaked bodies pressing against one another. Albel's arms wrapped more tightly around Fayt, and he could feel the other man relax. Fayt's emerald eyes stared up at Albel, and their lips met, Albel easily sliding his tongue into Fayt's mouth.
Albel's mouth moved down from Fayt's lips to his neck, sucking on rain-soaked skin, determined to leave his mark on his Fayt. The younger man tangled his hands in Albel's dark hair, moaning lightly. Albel pressed against Fayt, pushing him onto the ground and laying on top of him, their hips grinding together.
Albel's hands ran up and down Fayt's sides, mouth moving up to let his tongue trace along Fayt's ear. Fayt moaned more loudly, letting Albel's hands run over him.
Satisfied that Fayt was still his, Albel lay next to him again, whispering, "You still belong to me, not matter what she did to you."
Fayt smiled slightly and answered, "I always belonged to you, Albel. What Sophia did doesn't matter. It's like you said, she's crazy."
Albel pulled Fayt closer, and the blue-haired man wrapped an arm loosely around him, drifting off into sleep.
I can't believe he survived that. I never thought I'd have my precious Fayt back in my arms, alive. He gently kissed Fayt's forehead, careful not to wake him. And once Sophia is dead, he'll be only mine. Stupid bitch, sleeping with him. And daring to when she knew I was still alive!
Albel ground his teeth together, holding more tightly to Fayt. He won't be quite the same after what she did. He didn't seem to have a problem with me touching him. Albel twisted his mouth, musing. That was probably the first woman he ever slept with.
True, sometimes Fayt had been seme for brief moments, but Albel imagined that for him, sleeping with a woman must have been a whole new, and unpleasant, experience. Albel himself had always been with men.
Poor Fayt. I can't fail like that anymore. I screwed this up, and look where it got him! I'm not letting that bitch take him back. Fayt is MINE, and she's going to die.
Determined to carry out his plan and murder Sophia, Albel closed his eyes, falling into a light sleep, rain pouring down on the two sleeping men as they held each other.
Albel awoke early the next morning, though he couldn't be sure what the time was. He had never let himself sleep in, and they had a mission. He looked up, trying to determine the time, and was rewarded with a raindrop in his eye.
"Damn weather," he muttered, blinking water out of his eye. The rain was still heavy, though the sky was orange now, the sun just rising from the ground.
Turning to Fayt, Albel whispered the other man's name. Green eyes snapped open, looking at Albel sleepily. "We've got to get out of here," Albel informed him, standing up. Fayt slowly stood, shaking collected rainwater from his blue hair.
I'll have to take him with me to kill her. I swore I'd never bring him on missions, especially not a dangerous one like this. Even if he isn't killed, he could be captured again.
If Albel had believed in a greater power, he would have begged for Fayt's life to be spared at any cost
I'll make sure he doesn't get hurt. We'll both come out of there alive, and everything will go back to normal after this.
"Fayt."
The blue-haired man looked up.
"Grab a gun. Top one on the left side should work."
Fayt nodded and obeyed him, reaching into Albel's coat and pulling out a black handgun. He handed it to Albel, who shook his head.
"For you, I meant. Do you know how to use it?"
Fayt's eyes widened, full of fear, and Albel felt a pang of guilt. I shouldn't be bringing him, especially not this time, with Sophia. I wish he never had to see her again, but if I leave him, they'll come for him.
"No," Fayt answered, his eyes meeting Albel's, as though begging to be left behind.
"I can't leave you here. Her people will come," Albel explained, looking away. "I can show you how to use that though. Just in case."
Fayt nodded in understanding, and allowed Albel to stand behind him, arms over Fayt's, showing him how to hold the gun.
"Just hold it like this, aim," he raised the gun, "and shoot." Albel pressed Fayt's finger down on the trigger. There was an echo in the canyon, and the sound of the gunshot bounced off the rock walls.
Fayt shook slightly, but nodded again. "I can do it."
Albel sighed. "Don't be afraid. I won't let her hurt you." Albel's arms wrapped around Fayt as he spoke softly in the other man's ear.
"I know. I trust you."
Albel let his arms drop to his sides again. "Let's go."
Fayt turned, looking confused. "How? And don't you need a gun?"
The dark-haired man smiled, and kissed Fayt lightly. "Don't worry, I have this figured out. We're climbing this cliff. And…" he pulled a small, silver gun out of one of the tall, black boots he wore. Albel never let himself go anywhere without a gun or two shoved in them.
Fayt nodded and walked to the cliff, placing his foot on a rock ledge and starting up. Albel was quick to join him, climbing alongside Fayt silently.
Albel couldn't be sure how long they climbed for. The rising sun was quickly hidden by rain clouds, as the storm worsened. Occasionally, he forced Fayt to stop climbing and rest.
They were over halfway up the cliff when Albel slipped. The dirt on the cliff had turned to slippery mud, and he suddenly found himself hanging on with one hand.
"Damn it," Albel muttered, clawing at the mud with his other hand.
Fayt stopped and started to move around Albel to help him, but was stopped by a shout from Albel. "No! It's too damn slippery over here!"
Fayt had to shout his reply over the storm. "Albel, you're going to fall!"
Albel met Fayt's eyes for a moment. "Don't stop! If I fall, leave me- I'll be dead anyway! Just kill her on your own!"
Fayt didn't answer, staring at Albel as he clawed his way slowly up. For the rest of the climb, Albel let Fayt climb where there were rocks, while he went up through the mud. I've climbed buildings, this is nothing. He needs to be safe.
Albel didn't know when they finally reached the top, only that they had been climbing for a long time. The sun was still hidden by dark clouds. He pulled himself up onto the flat ground, helping Fayt up after him. Well, we made it through that part alive.
"Ready?" Albel asked, studying Fayt's green eyes. They looked afraid, yet trusting.
There was a bright flash of lightening followed by a loud clap of thunder. Fayt nodded, and they set off for the restaurant, Albel trying to run more slowly for Fayt.
"Don't let her hurt you, ok?" Albel called out over the rain as they ran.
"Albel, I think I'll be ok," Fayt called back.
"I'll make sure you're ok. Just don't do anything stupid. Leave it up to me to take care of her."
The restaurant was close now, and the paranoid feeling of worry inside Albel was growing rapidly. If that bitch touches him, or hurts him, her death will be as slow and painful as I can make it.
They reached the tall doors of the restaurant, and Albel stopped. "This is it." This is the end. Fayt nodded breathlessly, panting. Damn it, does he have to pant like that?
Albel smirked, pushing Fayt against the red doors, their lips connecting instantly. Albel's hands found their way under Fayt's shirt, moving over his chest, before wrapping his arms around Fayt.
"She's going down now," Albel whispered, pulling his lips away from Fayt's.
"What's going to happen after this?" Fayt asked, staring up into Albel's red eyes.
"Everything. We can go back to what we were before; we can be more than that. We can do anything we want after this," Albel whispered, and pulled Fayt closer. "We still have so much left."
Fayt smiled slightly, his arms wrapping around Albel's waist. "You've never sounded so happy to be alive."
"I've never seen a miracle like this before. We both should have died in that canyon," Albel whispered back.
"Yeah. But we didn't." Fayt smiled slightly, looking hopeful.
"I love you," Albel whispered in his ear.
"I love you too."
They kissed again, Albel placing his mouth firmly over Fayt's, tongue moving over every part of his mouth it could reach. She can't take him now. Nothing can break us apart anymore.
The two men broke the kiss reluctantly, Albel's eyes still moving up and down Fayt's rain-soaked body. Focus on the mission.
Fayt nodded, spinning around and pushing the door open. The smell of blood hung heavily in the air, dead bodies strewn over the now red floor. Albel stepped inside first, followed by Fayt. He could sense Fayt's nervousness, and wished he could have left him behind.
"She should be waiting for the police to show up with her publicity, then." Albel smirked. "They're too stupid to figure out where she is. Too many buildings in the city, and almost everyone from this part of town was at the wedding anyway."
Fayt nodded, and the couples continued in silence to the bathroom. The only sound was feet hitting puddles of blood. Albel looked back to Fayt, who was staring at all the bodies, wide-eyed.
Well, it is a lot of people. But it was all for him.
They reached the bathroom, and Albel slowly opened the door, which was now barely hanging on. It creaked slightly as it swung, banging against the wall.
"Remember what I said- keep going if I fall," Albel whispered.
They stepped inside the small room, to be greeted by a shocked Sophia.
"Fayt! You should be dead!"
Albel laughed, stepping closer to Sophia, and answered, "He survived the fall. So did I."
He raised the gun in his hand, aiming it directly at Sophia's head. She was sitting on the floor, the gun next to her, bandages wrapped sloppily around the wounds from Albel's knife.
"It's you who won't live," Albel finished.
Sophia screamed, and there was a loud gunshot. Albel hadn't fired. Sophia had. For a moment, he waited for the pain. It never came.
Instead, it was Fayt who let out a pained scream. Albel spun around to find Fayt clutching a bleeding arm. From the expression on his face, it was clear Fayt was in pain.
"Fayt!" Albel lifted his arm, trying desperately to stop the bleeding with his hands. Fayt bit his lip, watching with scared eyes as Albel pressed harder on his arm.
Shit! Why did he have to come?
"I'm sorry, Fayt. We'll make it out alive anyway," Albel whispered.
"I know, I trust you," Fayt whispered back, wincing in pain.
That bitch will pay for hurting MY Fayt!
"Are you ok?" Albel asked urgently.
Fayt opened his mouth to respond weakly, "I think I'll be alright."
He'll live, I know he will. But oh, Sophia is going to regret this.
Albel glanced at Sophia, only to find her wide-eyed with horror, shaking. He turned back to Fayt, trying harder to stop the bleeding with only his blood-drenched hands.
And by standing there, helping Fayt, his Fayt, Albel turned his back to an armed enemy. It was a mistake he knew could easily be fatal, but to him Fayt was more important than his own life.
The sound of another gunshot rung through the air. This time, Albel felt the pain. It burned into the back of his head, taking away all reasonable thought. Albel's world turned black, and he felt himself stumble backwards, falling.
Author's Note: REVIEW! Yeah. I brought you more Albel/Fayt goodness, then let him get shot in the head. Ouch. I'm such a traitor to us all. So it's almost Valentine's Day. No specials from me. Heh. As a romance author, I realize that it's weird to do a Christmas special and no Valentine's Day special. I'm always the single on Valentine's Day. Tehe. It's gotten to be kind of amusing. I hope to get another valentine from the dude on the bus. "You are really hot. You are really cool." K, I'm rambling. REVIEW!
