A/N: Hello all and welcome to chapter 14. Last I left off, Joan was being frisky and hands-y with Qrow. Now, I get to be wholesome and write a date. Wow, have I seriously never tried this? What the actual fuck.
An Unlucky Drunken Marriage
Summary: Qrow just wanted to relax after a long time away on a mission. Celebrating by hitting the new nightclub that opened up seemed good in his mind. Too bad he ended up drunkenly marrying a cute blonde knight in the process.
*Date Night Part One*
Joan sighed as she and the rest of JNPR stumbled into their dorm. Their impromptu dance lesson had gone a hell of a lot better than she initially thought, though that didn't stop Nora from being Nora. After about thirty minutes or so, Nora had gone through what was currently labeled as, 'pancake deprivation' and the syrup tornado that wrecked Qrow's classroom was only just recently subdued.
"Nora, do I even want to know where the hell you got that much syrup?" the blonde asked wearily, standing in front of her dresser and looking through her clothes for something nice to wear on her date. As forward as she was with Qrow, she wouldn't deny that she was nervous. She had never exactly gone out on one before; she never even went to a nightclub until she started at Beacon. She was a country girl for Oum's sake. What the hell did she know about fancy dates?
Nora mumbled something around the length of rope blocking her mouth that Qrow had been all too kind to let JPR borrow to restrain the hammer wielder. Joan had a sneaking suspicion he had other plans in mind with that rope and she felt her heart beat a bit faster. 'No, no, no. Bad brain. God I have to stop reading those lewd books I steal from Blake whenever she's not looking.'
Don't give that look. It was quality literature in her mind. Ruby would call it filth. In fact, the deadly little reaper did just that. The blonde shuddered as the memory of Commissar Ruby Rose burning almost all of Blake's smut books came to mind. If she never heard the words, "Heretical filth must be purged!" again, it would be too soon.
Oh how she hated the wailing that came from Team RWBY's dorm that night. Joan thought she would never be able to fall asleep. Seriously, who the hell burns a pile of smut books at nearly midnight?
"Don't worry. She's not going anywhere," Ren promised, giving his partner a hard stare. "You meanwhile need to look for something to wear. No offense, but that is not going to…well, work."
"You know, I worked that out on my own, funnily enough," Joan said dryly. "Ren, I grew up on a fucking farm in the ass end of nowhere, Vale. What gave you the thought that I know what to do or even dress like on a date?"
"Do you have shoes at least?" he asked wearily, setting Nora down in the corner.
"Uh…technically, yes. I borrowed them from Weiss." She let out a nervous laugh.
"You mean, you stole them," the ninja deadpanned, folding his arms.
"No, this time I asked. She said sure and tossed me these." Joan held up the pair of white heels that weren't too high so she wouldn't break her ankles trying to walk in them. She was slightly self conscious about the looks Ren and Pyrrha gave her. "What?"
"Nothing. It's…this is the happiest I've seen you in a long time." Ren smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "You don't realize it, but you're no longer acting broody and miserable like someone ran over your puppy. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were glowing."
"Oh stop, you'll make me blush." No she was not. She refused to believe that she was turning pink over a few compliments.
"Joan, Ren's right," Pyrrha said warmly. "You're even doing better in classes now. Qrow's rubbed off on you, hasn't he?"
"Yeah a bit." The blonde blushed at the terrible innuendo that she could make. No, not in that way. Get your mind out of the gutter.
"Anyway, think you can give me a hand?" she asked her partner. "You're more used to formal shit than me." She was also hoping that Pyrrha knew how to style her hair for the occasion. Normally Joan just let it run free. But now…she was having second thoughts on that.
"Don't worry, Joan." Pyrrha winked. "I can think of a few ways to make you turn heads."
Qrow didn't even need to look up to know that Ozpin was outside the door to his office. "Come in." He finished selecting a black striped dress shirt different from his usual attire, already having the black pants on.
"You have a habit of knowing where I am, even when I try to hide from you." Ozpin took a sip from his mug. "Where are you going that requires you to dance so nicely?"
"A date," the raven haired man replied bluntly. When Ozpin started snickering he sent the headmaster a glare. "Oh shut up. I don't want to hear it from you. I haven't stuck my dick in crazy."
He did up his belt, looping them through the pants and tucking his shirt in. His stubble was starting to grow in more he noticed as he ran a hand over his chin and he debated shaving it off. 'And ruin the look? Nah. This actually suits me.'
Qrow's feet were clad in a pair of new dress shoes he had purchased sometime back in the event Oz ever needed him to appear for a formal address. It hadn't happened, but on the bright side he finally was able to put them to use.
"No tie?" Ozpin tipped his glasses down.
"Nope. Fuck those damn neck traps." Qrow turned away with a huff. "They might as well be a cloth noose."
"Now is that any way to impress a fine young lady? You ought to look the part," Ozpin reprimanded gently. "What will Joan think if she sees you with the top two buttons of your shirt undone?" He gestured to the tiny bits of his exposed chest.
"Probably pounce on me like she did during detention," Qrow deadpanned. "I almost thought you put her up to it. Didn't expect her to be so forward in my goddamn office."
"Oh that. Yes, she did make a confession to me as to why she fancies you. It was quite amusing seeing her get so embarrassed so easily." Ozpin smirked. "I can see that your semblance doesn't act out as much when you're around her. If anything, I'd say this is the happiest I've seen you in years."
"Yeah well, thanks." Qrow slipped on the jacket to go with the suit and straightened his collar out. "So, how do I look? Like shit?"
"You look about as close to classy as you're ever going to get." Ozpin barked in laughter at the rude hand gesture the huntsman gave him. "Imagine what James would say if he saw you now. He'd wonder if you had died and someone else was using your credentials."
"Hardy har har." Qrow rolled his eyes. "Did you seriously come all this way just to say I look ridiculous?"
"No, not at all." The headmaster swirled his cocoa around in his mug. "In fact, on the contrary. You look rather nice. I'm sure your wife is going to swoon when she sees you in that. Where are you going?"
"Eh, a new little restaurant just opened up in downtown Vale, so I thought I'd take her there." He shrugged. "Classier kind of place than I'm used to, but a change of scenery never hurts. After that, figured we'd walk around. Nothing like a nice stroll in the middle of the big city."
Plus it would give her some time away from Nora. Qrow was beginning to understand why Joan was so frustrated with the girl. Not only was she incredibly strong, but she was also a master at sneaking large batches of syrup everywhere. He was willing to bet even Summer at her best couldn't find a way to smuggle that much sugar. Good God was she a handful. It took him about an hour to clean up his fucking classroom and give her a stern lecture. Even Ninja Kid was less than impressed with the stunt. Mainly because he was covered in most of the syrup but still. He was pretty pissed.
As close to pissed as the stoic boy appeared to be able to get, at least. Kid wore the expression of, 'I just work here'. Something Qrow could understand way too damn well. It was basically how he was whenever the rest of Team STRQ decided to cause some sort of mayhem.
"Well then don't let me get in the way. Hope you two have an enjoyable weekend. She certainly is smitten with you." Ozpin winked on his way out of the office.
Qrow rolled his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror he 'borrowed' from Glynda, one hand already in his pants pocket. He didn't look too bad if he said himself, but he didn't know how his wife would take it. Hopefully well.
"Shit…here goes nothing."
Just outside the city, Joan grumbled indignantly as the wind kicked up her dress, holding it down by her waist to prevent anyone from getting a look up. "Stupid wind…" She was clad in a tight white dress that fell to her lower legs, exposing a bit of skin but not enough to be considered risqué. Pyrrha had been kind enough to even style her hair into a sleek ponytail instead of its usual long mane. The only thing she wasn't comfortable with was the damn heels and that was more of unfamiliarity with them rather than any actual dislike. 'How the hell does Weiss fight in these? I feel like I'm going to fall over any minute.'
"Hey." Joan turned around to see Qrow walking up to her, clad in a very nice dark suit with the top button of his shirt left undone. He was rather handsome in it and he looked her up and down. "Nice look, Blondie. You look good."
"I look good? Have you taken a look in the mirror?" She gestured to his suit. "Half of my sisters would pin you against the wall for wearing that." 'Hell, I'm tempted to.'
"Thanks." Qrow flashed a smile and held his arm out. "Well then, shall we?"
"I'd love to." Joan took his arm and together they began to walk into the city. It was a rather quiet kind of night, with barely any traffic in the streets. The shattered moon shone brightly in the sky and the streetlamps provided more than enough light for them to be able to go about without bumping into anything.
The silence between them was a bit strange though, so the blonde decided to be the one to break the ice. "So, where are we going? I don't exactly know my way around the city yet."
"To a new place that opened up on the other side of town. And really? I thought your team would have taken you roaming around at least once or twice." He raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"I'm from a giant farm in the ass end of nowhere," Joan said with a roll of her eyes. "And no I haven't had a chance to do much. I'm teammates with Nora. That eats up enough of the day to the point where I want to pass out."
"Fair enough." Qrow snickered and held her closer to him, Joan keeping in stride with the lean man. "Gotta say, Pinky there has a lot of energy. Makes sense considering her semblance. Absorbing electricity is better than mine."
As if on cue, one of the streetlights died when he walked past it and he grimaced. His semblance was harder to control than most others. He told her that he brought misfortune, hence why he was named after a bad luck charm. But Joan wondered if there was something more to it than that. "Qrow, about your semblance…is it always like that or is it tied to your mood?"
"Tied to my mood. Why?" he asked curiously.
With her face tinged a bit pink she leaned into him, her hand entwining with his. "Because…I think that if you were in a better mood, you would bring good luck."
"Hence why I drink. Easy to keep my mind neutral that way and keep it under controlled." He patted his flask buried in his pocket. He wouldn't drink in front of her; hell after he became both a married man and a teacher again he was trying to be a better example. "But don't worry; I'm not gonna drink from that thing around you. Need to be a somewhat decent role model now." His face scrunched up at that and the blonde snickered.
"Well, maybe you need to focus on the now. Not just with us. I mean everything. Weiss is most likely yours, hence why she's able to beat Yang in a sass contest." Joan rolled her eyes at the last bit and squeezed his hand. It was nice and warm, comforting even. "Ruby and Yang look up to you so much. You even taught Ruby how to use a scythe."
"You try resisting her pleading stare when she's got a cookie in hand." Qrow snorted in laughter. "Yang, I feel a little bad that I never got to properly be around for her when she needed it. I blame that bit on my sister."
"Right, Yang and Ruby have different mothers. Yang's is your twin sister, right?"
"Yeah. And she's a bitch. Despite being one, I still care about her. I just wish she wasn't an overly complicated pain in my ass."
The annoyance in his pale red eyes was enough for the blonde to want to change the subject. There was a few people giving them strange looks and she leaned in to whisper to him. "What's with all the looks? They're acting like they've never seen a couple before."
"Not one like us, I imagine. Also, it doesn't help that I've got a bit of a reputation." Qrow grimaced. "A lot of the work I did as a huntsman wasn't exactly the glamorous type. I can't reveal all of it; otherwise Oz would kick my ass. But know that when huntsmen or huntresses go rogue and start killing the innocents, I'm the one they call. For criminals too dangerous for even Atlesian specialists."
"The Red List?"
"How…?"
Joan smiled weakly. "My father. Before he had my youngest sister, he was still a huntsman even though we lived in Vale's country. I found it on his scroll once when I went looking for him and he was in the bathroom. I guess he forgot to take it with him. I never knew my dad was one of those people, but he knew once I found out, that he had to stop. You should've seen how bad my mother flipped out."
"Well…shit." Qrow sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't know about it. But there it is. I'm one of the main huntsmen to get contacted about the list. I have more blood on my hands than any other huntsman you'll meet, all in the hope that I can make the world a better place for my nieces, child, and now wife."
"I was wondering why you always seemed to be going easy on me in our spars. If you went all out I'd be a pile of dust."
"Yeah. My past isn't something I'm proud of. I was actually a lot worse in my younger days. Ruthless and borderline an addict to the bloodshed. I guess that's what happens when you grow up in a bandit tribe."
"Bandit tribe? Good God is there anything else I should know about you?" Joan rolled her eyes. "I heard a bit from Ozpin that you were initially brought to Beacon back then because your tribe wanted you to learn how to kill huntsmen, but you changed for the better."
"Better, huh?" Qrow sighed wistfully. "I like to think I've come a long way since those times. I definitely don't miss them. Things were a hell of a lot different some eighteen years ago. Coolest team to ever graduate. During our first year I didn't think we'd end up all being friends. God the amount of fights Ozpin had to break up between us. But what about you? I know you faked your way into Beacon."
"Well, my dad was a huntsman as you know. Seven sisters, all of them overprotective." Joan couldn't help but smile at how fond her sisters were of her. "My mother definitely had her hands full. I never felt comfortable living on a farm, so I begged Dad to let me go to Beacon. Said I didn't know how to fight and would get killed day one, but here I am. Still standing. Pyrrha was the first one who ever believed in me."
"And she's right to do so," Qrow said, stunning the blonde. "Just because you don't have your semblance unlocked does not mean you're useless. Hell, my own sister didn't unlock hers until our second year of Beacon. You're doing a lot better than you were at first. Keep it up and you might surprise quite a few people in the Vytal Festival. The potential is there."
"Thanks." She let out a soft breath of relief. "You know, I still have no idea how the hell I'm going to explain all of this to my family. My oldest sister wouldn't raise too much of a fuss; she'd probably make a few jokes about me going out of my age range but not too much. My dad…well, there is a feeling he is going to want to tear your heart out and feed it to the Grimm."
"Heh. Your old man doesn't need to worry about you. You're your own woman now, even if you're a student." He ruffled her hair. "You make your own choices and don't let anyone tell you different. Not me, not Oz. At the end of the day, you are in charge of your life."
"Hmm, I must have missed out on us having a choice to our union. Did I sleep through the negotiation process?"
"Shit, we both did Blondie. So what are you going to do about it?"
Joan leaned up to peck him on the cheek. "Make this night memorable, then get back to me on that."
"As you wish."
Joan caught on to that, having watched the movie where that line came from many times as a kid. Her cheeks flushed bright red and she abruptly looked away. "Smooth…"
"I like to think I am." Qrow stopped in front of a restaurant tucked away from the flashing neon lights of Vale's more famous party district. "Well, we're here."
Joan looked up at it and could already hear the soft jazz music playing within. "Wow…didn't think you were the type to enjoy these kinds of places."
"Why is everyone so surprised that I like a classy place to eat?" He shook his head and held the door for her.
"Because you're a rogue." The blonde smirked. "Though I'll admit a dashing one."
"Keep fluffing me Blondie."
A waiter arrived with a pair of menus in hand, clad in a black tuxedo and his hair gelled back to perfection. "Good evening. Table for two?"
"Yes please," Qrow requested, slipping a lien card onto the two menus. "And here. A little thank you from myself."
"You're too generous, kind sir." The young man bowed. "Please, follow me to one of our more exquisite dining tables." He led them through the diner to a perfectly polished oak wood table, not a single scuff on its surface. Once the two of them were seated he placed the menus down in front of them and backed away. "One of our servers will be with you both shortly. I hope you enjoy the night."
Joan couldn't deny it. She definitely felt out of place here. All around her, she could see the type of people who looked like they were supposed to be at a ball at the Schnee manor. Fancy suits and dresses plus the jazz music gave the place an atmosphere of refined taste and class.
Though she would say, despite Qrow being, well, Qrow, he didn't look too out of place. Minus the lack of tie. "Qrow, why don't you like ties? Out of curiosity."
"Because I don't like being strangled," came his reply earnestly.
Joan, having picked up on his kind of behavior a little too much, decided to poke the bear for her own enjoyment. "Dunno, you look like the kind of guy who's into that kind of kinky foreplay."
"Hush you." Qrow snorted. "Didn't wear one at Beacon and sure as shit ain't starting now."
"Ozpin seriously let you break the dress code?"
"Ozpin managed to convince my entire team to tell me that the girl's uniform was a kilt."
Joan nearly burst out laughing; the only thing preventing her from doing so was the fact that a server had come with two glasses of ice water. "Now that is a story I want to hear."
"Good evening and welcome to our fine establishment," the server greeted them with a smile. "Are you ready to place your order?" He placed the two glasses down in front of them.
"Yes. I'll take the lasagna al forno," Qrow requested.
"Understood. And you, miss?"
"Um…" Joan looked over the menu and picked the first thing that sprung out of the laminated pages. "Creamy fowl sauté please."
"Understood, your meals will be ready in fifteen to twenty minutes," the young man said with a beam. He turned swiftly on his heel and left, leaving the couple to talk amongst themselves for a bit.
"So, that story about you wearing a skirt. Want to talk about it?" Joan leaned over the table a little.
"Back in my first year. I never wore a uniform before so I didn't know," Qrow admitted shamelessly. "So Oz convinces my entire team to tell me that the girl's uniform was a kilt and that it improved airflow. I walk into Grimm Anatomy; Professor Port was a teacher's assistant at the time and I think he died laughing."
"Pfft." Joan let out a snicker. "What, did the girls say you had nice legs or something?"
"Yeah. All of them did." Qrow smirked. "Hey, Oz helped me form a fanclub my first week of Beacon. Though I still say he was an asshole for making us work on our landing strategies while I was wearing it. Bad day to go commando I tell you."
The mental image of someone looking up and seeing Qrow's genitalia flap in the wind as he soared over the forest did not make her blush. No, shut up. It was just a little warm that's all.
"Looking a little pink there, Blondie." Qrow's smirk grew. "What, imagining something you'd like to see?"
"I have seen it already. Along with your ass."
"Oh yeah. Not the best awakening I guess?"
"It was a shock at first," Joan admitted. "And it would help if Yang wasn't constantly making jokes or asking how big your dick was."
"Sounds like Yang." The raven haired man let out a snort. "Sometimes, I don't know what—"
"What the hell are you doing here, Branwen?"
Joan and Qrow turned around to see a very pissed off woman with white hair tied into a bun and burning blue eyes. She was in a very elegant white dress that was split in the middle to let someone's imagination roam and Joan couldn't help but notice the striking resemblance to Weiss. 'Is that…?'
"Winter." Qrow nodded curtly, his fist tightening on the end of the table. "Fine evening, is it not?"
"Answer the goddamn question," Winter snapped. "What are you doing here?"
"On a date with my lovely wedded wife," Qrow answered, gesturing to Joan.
The blonde waved meekly at the furious woman, feeling her burning blue gaze pierce into her. "Hi…"
"After all these years of abandoning her, you decide to now show up? I knew you were irresponsible, but you left her to live with an abusive—"
"Winter." Qrow's pale gaze hardened and Joan could feel his aura come to life, semblance with it. Something was about to happen. "Not. Here. If you want to pick a fight, do it at the Vytal Festival. But if you'll excuse me, I'd very much like to enjoy my night out."
Joan felt Qrow's semblance spark and someone fell backwards out of their chair, one of the legs having fallen off. The young man dusted himself off and laughed with his friends, unaware that Qrow's semblance had anything to do with it.
Winter glared at him but stalked away, hissing over her shoulder. "This isn't over."
When she was gone and far out of earshot, Joan spoke again. "Wow. She was a total bitch."
"That's a Schnee for you," Qrow muttered with a scoff. "Joan, that was Winter Schnee. Atlesian Specialist and Weiss's older sister. Someone I've run into a few too many times over my life."
Joan put everything together. She was painfully oblivious at times, but this was one that clicked instantly in her head. "Weiss."
"Weiss."
"So, what are you going to do? You know you have to tell her eventually."
"Yeah…I know." Qrow stared at the floor, his aura dying back down. He glanced back up as Joan put her hand on his and she gave him a smile.
"If it makes you feel any better, remember you're not the one who asked her out," she reminded. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds before snickering, covering their mouths to prevent it from turning into outright loud laughter.
"Thanks Joan. I definitely needed this."
"Anytime, Qrow."
For her first ever date, she supposed it could be a hell of a lot worse.
A/N: So, I ended it here. Why? Because part two of the date night is gonna be something a little more fluffy and gooey than what I normally do. Oh and I'm still not executed yet. Not for a lack of effort on my part.
Qrow's suit for this chapter is actually Noctis's king suit in Final Fantasy XV.
-Classiest#8332
