Chapter 3
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas & Lucasfilm. I own nothing, please don't sue me I'm poor! Sob!
Authors Note: Thank you to Mya and NinaSky for reviewing. Keep them coming I need the incentive!
The next morning Tira got up early and left her room for the first time since she shut herself in. Obi-Wan wasn't up yet and she felt grateful for it. Upon entering the kitchen she saw her dinner from the night before on the work top and felt a pang of guilt as she picked it up and disposed of it. Looking around she wondered what to do for breakfast.
"Feeling better this morning?" Obi-Wan asked from behind, making Tira jump.
She whirled round and looked at him in shock.
"Um, yes, no, er, yes… sorry you startled me."
"You should have sensed me coming."
"I know I was, um, preoccupied. Sorry it won't happen again."
"Very well. Will you be eating this morning?"
"Um, yes I was just looking at what you had."
Obi-Wan nodded and proceeded to make his own breakfast. Tira followed him so she knew where he kept everything.
Once they had eaten Tira cleaned up the dishes and waited to be told what she would be doing for the rest of the day. Obi-Wan seemed occupied with a data pad and didn't appear to be heeding her at all. Tira cleared her throat and stood there patiently. Obi-Wan looked up at her in question.
"Will you be needing me today master?" she asked.
"Not for the moment. Meet me in the training room in one hour; I'll need to see what you are capable of today so I can judge where your training has proceeded to."
Tira nodded at him and left their rooms. She made her way to the meditation garden, if there was one thing she needed to do before her training session, it was to get back in touch with the force. What would Obi-Wan think if she couldn't even master simple control? Tira sat in the garden and started to breathe deeply to calm herself. After five minutes she felt calm, but not quite as centred as usual. Taking another deep breath she closed her eyes and tried to lift one of the rocks in the garden. Not by thinking about it but by trying to feel the force flow from her to the rock, as her master had taught her.
"Reach out with your feelings and believe," she told herself.
Tira opened her eyes to find the rock exactly where it was before she started.
"I'm never going to do this!" she said out loud to herself getting frustrated, "What's he going to think of me?"
"Maybe you're trying too hard to please him, Tira."
"Sar-Eve!"
"Hey. Having trouble?" Sar-Eve asked sitting next to her friend.
"I have a training session in less than an hour with Master Kenobi and… Sar, I think I've lost my centre!"
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since Leguin when… when my master died, I haven't had the same connection with the force. I can't centre myself and now I've lost the ability to do simple things I've been doing since I was a youngling. What will Master Kenobi think when I can't do what he asks? What if he decides my training isn't worth continuing?"
"He won't. The council knows what you're capable of; you're just… going through a lot of change. It's enough to upset anybody. Master Suli only died five days ago; I think you're still grieving for her."
"I've never grieved before, how do I accept this and move on?"
"You just do Tira. I don't know I've never lost anyone before."
Tira looked at her best friend and sighed.
"Have you told Master Kenobi about this? He needs to know."
"I can't. I'm not sure where I stand with him yet. I only met him properly yesterday."
"So you haven't blown up at him yet?"
"No, I'm sure he'll notice when I do."
"The entire Temple notices when you do!"
Tira laughed and felt better. She hugged her friend.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Just try to relax okay."
"I'll try."
"Remember Master Yoda? Do or do not, there is no try."
"Fine! I will."
"Good girl, I'll see you at lunch?"
"Yeah I think so. Bye Sar."
