Ok, back with another chapter. Hope you guys like it.
Thanks for the reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost.
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Jack sat back in his chair. He didn't know why she wasn't waking up. Her forehead was burning and she showed no signs of response to pain or anything. Sun had went to the garden for a remedy, but nothing seemed to be working.
"What's going on Kate? What do you need me to do?" Jack put his hands over his eyes. "There has to be something I'm not thinking of. There's a cure for this… I just need to know what the problem is." Jack stood up and kicked the side of the bunk bed. "Tell me what the problem is!" The order, though he was looking at Kate, was directed towards something else. Even he didn't know who it was for.
Jack heard the door open and close. There were slow footsteps and then the noise of someone sitting down at the computer. Jack wiped some sweat off of his forehead and walked out to see who was on button duty.
"Sawyer?" Jack moved closer to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Sawyer looked up from the computer for a second before looking back down. "What… it isn't your turn yet…" Sawyer shrugged.
"No, it's Claire's turn. But Kate's sick and she really shouldn't be around her…" Sawyer looked up at Jack again. "Less you wanna nurse the little guy." Jack shook his head. He couldn't believe that Sawyer could be sarcastic in the same room where Kate was lying on what could very well be her death bed.
"So you offered to take her spot?" Sawyer looked up at Jack.
"Just so happens I'm next on the list. So we skip Claire, no big… don't read into it too much." Sawyer went back to looking at the computer.
"You have well over an hour before the alarm goes off Sawyer." Jack lowered his voice, obviously dreading what he was about to say. "Why don't you just go sit with her? I can leave…" Sawyer looked up.
"Why would I want to do that Jack? I'm not her babysitter!" He clenched his hands into fists.
"Sawyer…"
"I'm not going to just go in there and sit around, that's not my style. You think I actually care about what happens to her?" Sawyer's voice got louder and and pushed back his chair, standing up. "I don't care bout nobody but myself doc. Why would she be any different then the rest of you." Jack looked down.
"I heard you, you know." Sawyer shook his head.
"I'm being loud enough. Less you got some problem with your ears boy I'd hope…"
"No Sawyer." Jack looked up, his voice back to normal, though it still held a tiny tremble. "I heard what you said when you had the fever." Sawyer felt his pulse quicken and his breath caught in his throat. He had no idea what he had said, but he figured that it couldn't have been good.
"And what's that supposed to mean Jack-o?" Sawyer's voice came out smooth and threatening. Inside him however… he was feeling far from either of the two emotions.
"Sawyer… you said…" Jack paused. He bit his lip and turned around. "You told me…"
"Told you what?" Sawyer wasn't sure if his voice had sounded as irriatated as he had meant for it to sound, or if he had let a hint of nervousness flow into it.
"You told me you loved her." Sawyer's heart lurched. He took a step back and his face showed all his fear. Jack turned around and noticed how different Sawyer looked.
"Sawyer."
"I don't know what kinda sick prank you're trying to pull on me boy but…" Sawyer gritted his teeth. "That just ain't funny."
"It's not supposed to be. You can't deny it. I heard you."
"Must've been imagining it then Doc, cause I sure didn't say anything like that." Jack shook his head.
"Sawyer…"
"Why would I say something like that? Girl drives me nuts." Sawyer had to keep himself from slamming his head against the wall. What he was saying and what he was feeling were normally two totally different things. But this was too much. He wanted to be telling Jack what he really felt. He wanted it to be true that Kate meant nothing to him.
"Don't even try to pull that type of…"
"Shut up!" Sawyer turned around and began to walk towards the door. "You got the button right?"
"No." Sawyer turned around.
"Scuse me?" Jack narrowed his eyes at Sawyer.
"No. I'm not getting the button." Sawyer took a step towards Jack.
"You trying to tell me that you'd let all the people on this island suffer just because you…"
"I'm not helping you run away Sawyer!" Jack clenched his fists. "Not from her."
"I ain't running away…"
"Then what do you call what you're doing right now?" Sawyer's voice grew deeper and his eyes got dark.
"I call it, trying to restrain myself from killing this islands resident hero." Jack shook his head.
"After all she did for you…"
"What is with you people? You actually think I'm going to go up to her, hold her hand and wait this out? Watch her die?" Jack looked startled. "Yeah, I know you think she's going to die. Otherwise there's no way you would tell me bout what I said." Jack shook his head.
"Sawyer…"
"You think she'll make it?" Jack was caught off guard.
"Well…"
"Do you think… she'll make it?" Sawyer's glare was challenging. Jack sighed.
"I don't know. It's not looking too good." Sawyer nodded.
"And you want me to wait here for her to die?" Jack shook his head.
"I can't believe you…"
"Well golly Doc… you know how I hate to disappoint ya." Jack drew in his breath. "But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go. Cuz I got a meeting to get to." Jack didn't know what he was doing, or what had happened, but when he realized what was going on, he was standing in between a very ticked off Sawyer and the door.
"Get in there!" Sawyer shook his head.
"You givin me orders now Doc? You think you can tell me what to do?" Sawyer stepped up to Jack, his eyes dark and wild. "Move."
"You're making a mistake Sawyer."
"Oh yeah? Well…" Sawyer saw red and was knocked onto the floor. He shook his head and looked up at Jack, who lowered his fist, his face still twisted in anger. "You really wanna do this Jackie boy?" Jack shook his head.
"She doesn't deserve this." Jack turned around, closing his eyes. "And you know that." Sawyer was quiet. He stood up, avoiding eye contact with Jack.
"Get outta my way." Jack gritted his teeth and pushed past Sawyer.
"Fine, I've got the button. But I'm not doing this for you." He glared at the back of Sawyer's head. "I'm doing this for her. So you're nowhere near her. Since you obviously don't care what happens." Sawyer felt like lunging at Jack, wrapping his fingers around his neck, shooting him, stabbing him, suffocating him, and many other deadly attacks. The scene played out in his mind.
Never before had words from another man cut him so badly. There was nothing he cared more about in the world then her, even if he didn't want to admit it to himself, there wasn't any chance of him denying himself the pain of that knowledge at the moment. It was a shock to himself at how even his voice was when he replied.
"Gladly. I got better stuff to do then to hang out around here while you try to save your precious princess." Sawyer didn't bother turning around as he pushed out the door and ran into the jungle.
He ran as far as his legs would take him, a straight line into the jungle. He finally reached a tree and punched it as hard as he could. A scream of frustration and anger escaped his lips. His hands reached up to his face and scratched at his eyes. He wouldn't let the tears come. He wouldn't cry. He slid down the tree and closed his eyes. He sat there in an invisible cloud of self-loathing and banged his head against the tree.
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