Sorry for the wait guys, I hope you even remember this story! I had a burst of inspiration and went with it. I love House and Wilson. Enjoy!

Day 1: 0800 Hours

House sat in his wheelchair bouncing a mini inflatable basketball across his room against the wooden door. He was at 150 bounces with still no nurse hobbling in with a nasty glare. The record had been 5462 before someone in the next room had smashed their walker up against the wall.

Twap..twap.. The door slammed open and the ball sailed over Wilson's head and smacked someone standing behind him in the chin. It bounced and rolled off along the floor into a corner.

The guy who got hit uttered a painful cry and went to rub his face.

House raised his eyebrow at Wilson who wheeled himself in.

"He followed me," he said quietly and shook his head. Gene stood by the door, still rubbing his face as he glared at his attacker behind his thick glasses.

"Well Gene, you're just in time for the party," House said with an animated grin and folded his hands over his lap. The man standing by the door almost looked frightened as he looked at the seemingly too happy House in the wheelchair. He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes.

"Shut the door, no one else is invited," House said when Gene said nothing and he obeyed and shut the door, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Wilson gave House a look as if to say, 'You're letting him stay?'

House answered back aloud, "He can create one hell of a diversion."

"So what's your big idea that I had to leave the Spades game for?" Wilson asked not sounding the least bit interested in any possible plan House might have thought up in the last few hours.

House gave Wilson a dry look.

"Spades? I bet there was a gosh darnit big winning pot at the end of that game. So what was it, a couple Viagra pills and efferent-"

"On with it," Wilson sighed and rolled his eyes, barely noticing Gene still wiping at his face from the bed.

"Here's the secret plan," House stretched over the right side of his wheelchair handles and started groping around his bedside. He sat up fully holding a large board. "The plan is, that you guys think of the plan."

Wilson rolled his eyes and looked away. He was holding a mini white board and a black marker. Only House would keep one of those in his room.

"So Gene, whatta got?" House turned to the elderly man who looked.. well, sort of pissed off. As much as an old man could look pissed off anyway. Gene didn't respond. Wilson didn't move to look at silent Gene, and he looked down at a space on the floor and then shifted his eyes up at House who was now looking to Wilson for answers.

"Can't talk or something? What's his problem?"

Wilson shrugged and silently smirked not wanting to be rude and talk about Gene who was only three feet away from him.

"He seriously.. just followed me in here," he smirked again and kept his head down. Gene said nothing still.

House opened his eyes wide, rolled them, and mouthed the word "Oookay". He then turned the white board towards himself and scribbled something at the top.

"What are you writing?" Wilson moved his head a bit to see, even though that did absolutely no good. House ignored him, finished writing whatever he was writing and recapped the marker holding it in his right hand as he looked over at his fellow wheelchair mate smugly.

He flipped the white board around and Wilson squinted his eyes.. and then smirked loudly.

"Make a run for it? That's the best you could come up with?"

"It's as good idea as any."

"Do you seem to be forgetting the fact that we're stuck in these chairs here? Not to mention your leg hasn't exactly healed up in the last 40 years..And also the fact that-" Wilson reasoned, now looking off to the side as he trailed off with reasons why House's plan stunk.

"Fine, then we will make a roll for it, satisfied?" House barked back and then flipped the white board back to facing him.

"That's it, I'm going back to the game.." Wilson rolled his eyes and starting turning his chair around to head for the door. Gene flipped his eyes back and forth between House and Wilson.

"Oh come ON, have a sense of humor. You're always telling me to act more like a decent human being aren't you."

Wilson have turned his head as he started out the door and called back, "Normal people don't break out of retirement homes, that's the difference." And then he was gone. Gene and House were alone.

"So Gene, when's the last time you rubbed one off? I've seen the way you look at Father Lucas."

Gene just looked at him.

House widened his eyes, turned his head and mouthed 'Ooookaay' again and avoided eye contact with the maniac in his room.

--

1230 Hours

Lunchtime was always interesting. Susan stood beside House holding a Jello cup. He looked around the lunch room at all of the oldies getting spoon fed brown slop and mashed taters. He looked at Wilson who sat beside him. A young nurse named Anna was delicately slipping green Jello down his throat.

"What are you doing, you don't need a nurse," House whispered sideways.

"Shh.." Wilson answered out the side of his mouth and smiled happily at Anna, who looked more like a porn store than a retirement nurse.

"Mr. House, are you going to have your Jello or not?"

His own nurse did not resemble a porn star in any way, shape, or form. She looked like she was older than he was. He stared.

"Mr. House!" She barked and place the hand that was holding a plastic spoon on her pudgy hip.

"No I will not take your disgusting Jello, but if you bring me a large kitchen knife, I will certainly put that to good use," he answered back smugly. The nurse scoffed, slammed the Jello and spoon down in front of him and stalked away. Victory. He tore into his Jello.

"Hey Jimmy." House stared into his snack and popped a large spoonful into his mouth. Wilson ignored him completely. House took another bite and looked at his friend.

"Anna dear, I don't think it's very safe to give our pal Jimmy an erection in his fragile and weak condition, do you? Now scoot." House shooed her away with his spoon. She gave him a look. Wilson shrugged his shoulders and she left the table.

"I can't believe you did that, now what other entertainment do I have in this place," Wilson ate the last of his Jello and put the empty cup and spoon side by side in front of him.

"You can use your magnificent rotting old brain to think up a plan to get out of here, that's what you can do." House finished his Jello and put down the empty container. He made an "Ahh" sound and patted his belly.

"What, we can hide in the laundry baskets, is that what you want to hear?"

"Now that's just a stupid plan. Even mine was better than that. Try harder. I'm disappointed in you." House said and looked down at his empty Jello container. His stomach rumbled. "Another Jello over here!" he raised his arm and called to anybody. No response. He swore.

"Fine, we'll stage a wheelchair race and just slam through the doors and roll our way to freedom," Wilson smirked at the image.

"Now that my friend, is not such a bad idea."

A wheelchair pulled up directly behind the two. A man sat there, arms draped over the handles. He had a large birthmark that covered half of his head, and House made a face openly when he saw it.

"You have mold on your face, gah!" he exclaimed. Wilson sucked in air at House's comment and gave the man a small smile. Duke was a mean Spades player. He wasn't so bad.

"I overheard you guys talking about breaking out of this joint, can I come with?" Duke leaned in and whispered as if it was the most important conversation of his life.

"No," House said simply and turned his head forwards again, still trying his life to get another damned Jello cup.

"Don't listen to him, he's off his medication. There's no plan or anything," Wilson assured the birthmark man. His face fell. House snapped his head back to Wilson's direction.

"For your information, I have jars and jars of medication in my room (want any hookups) and I know exactly what I'm talking about. We're breaking out of here. You and me. Jimmy and Greg. Wheelchair superheros in crime." House crossed his arms. Wilson smirked.

"So I bet you're Batman, and I'm Robin, is that it?"

"Naturally. You couldn't be Batman."

"Why couldn't I be Batman?"

"Your.. hair is all wrong to be Batman."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"..Your legs look more Robin-y too.. in fact.."

"Hey, you'd be wearing tights too! What kind of superhero is a limping Batman?"

"They find the limp sexy though. Nobody thinks Robin is sexy."

"Weren't Batman and Robin gay?"

Silence.

"So anyway, Duke, you say you want to join the club?" Wilson snapped his head to the man watching the idiotic conversation. Duke nodded and thumbed behind him to 4 other wheelchairs.

"My posse too." He grinned.

"Oh for crying out loud," House let his head fall back and said to the sky.

"Did I hear you guys are getting out of here?" A new voice, Jane stood above them, another retirement member in the club.

"No, we aren't!" House said loudly, hoping all of them would hear and go back to the show that was playing on the television demonstrating the bed that goes up and down and fits tv eating trays with 'ease'.

"We aren't? But I thought you were Batman?" Wilson questioned.

"Will you drop the Batman thing already? I'm actually Superman. Superman doesn't have a whiny sidekick." There. Burn.

"..Doesn't Superman have Lois Lane..?"

"So what, you're Lois Lane, is that what you're telling me?"

Silence.

"So Duke, you're in," Wilson said to Duke, totally ignoring House again. House sighed louder than necessary and looked at the ceiling.

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