Dennis sat in perturbed silence for approximately 3 and a half hours, though it might as well have been 24 with how impatient he was becoming. Finally, much later than Dennis thought reasonable, he could hear Mac's heavy steps slowly approach the door.
He stayed seated, so as not to bombard Mac once he entered. His presence, however seemed to contradict his intention and Mac groaned at the sight of him. "You waited up." He muttered in a sarcastically bright tone.
"Because we weren't finished, Mac." He held off from forcing full authority in his voice, not wanting to push Mac further away. "We were in the middle of a conversation."
"No, we had finished it, but you're just a sore loser who refused to let it go. Just like I said."
"I do respect you." Dennis gracelessly stumbled through his words.
Mac's brows knitted together with an adorably familiar perplexed expression. "What?"
Dennis stood. "You can't just sum up our issues with a catalogue of my flaws, only to complain that I don't respect you."
Mac's hand rested on his hips. "That'd be a fair point if you actually did." He sighed with exhaustion. "Maybe I was a bit harsh. That doesn't mean you're not incredibly uncompromising."
"We're all stubborn."
"No." He shook his head. "You can't just generalize this away if you're actually determined to have this out."
"Fine." He shrugged. "I don't see how agreeing to stop spending time together improves the strength of our friendship."
"Dennis, we're co-dependent, and it's confusing. I know you're fine, but I'm not. Having you as my priority is making me feel empty."
"I know that feeling." Dennis quietly confessed without his own consent. Hesitantly, he cleared his throat. "Emptiness, I mean."
"Then you should understand why I want it to stop."
"But, Mac," Dennis spoke without any anger. "It's us, we've always been this way."
"Things change." Mac said with unyielding focus on Dennis.
"That simple, huh?" He sighed.
"Roll with it, Dennis. I've had to before."
"Are you getting back at me? Is that what this is?"
Mac threw his hands up. "How do you still not get it? I don't want to simply restrain myself to what we have as a stand-in for an actual relationship. I'd like to find something real." He looked down and shook his head. "You and I have vastly different futures. How much longer can we put off the inevitable?"
"Why does this keep snowballing? This started as a one-time cancel." Dennis barked.
"Because you are being impossible! You refuse to yield the smallest amount of space and understanding, and it makes me feel like I need to reevaluate everything. You just keep pushing me into a corner."
"So, now the roles are finally reversed."
"If that's how you really feel, then this should be a non-issue. I'm trying to give us some mutually-desired space, so let's leave it at that." He started to head towards his room.
Dennis pushed his shoulder back. "Don't try to manipulate me."
"Please." He scoffed. "That's your territory, Dennis, not mine. I'm sorry if you can't handle not ruling over everything-"
"I'm not trying to rule over everything." He asserted irritably.
"No, just me." Mac acknowledged steadily.
Dennis briefly experienced an internal sputtering as he sought to explain his reasoning. "This involves me too."
"Yes, this involves you, Dennis, but it's not about you and you keep forgetting that." He put his hand to his chest. "It's about me." He sighed. "I get that you might feel neglected," Dennis scoffed, but Mac continued. "I can't begrudge you for it because I know how awful that feels, but I won't cave to your attempts to incite guilt just because you want attention. It doesn't always have to be me. I'm sure you could easily find somebody else to-"
Like a child, Dennis blurted. "I don't want anybody else!"
"But you don't want me either!" Mac shouted back, his voice breaking at the end, eyes wounded. "Not really."
Dennis felt an inner pull to disagree, but bit his own tongue, afraid to say things he was uncomfortable feeling. "Are you seriously trying to justify this away over a complaint of being friendzoned?"
Mac's eyes tightened in irritation. "I've always been your friend Dennis, but maybe I shouldn't be your only one."
"Screw you, Mac." He erupted. "You're not my only friend."
"Then why do you care so much?" His exhale sounded like a frustrated laugh. "If anybody else can tolerate you, why are we still doing this?"
"It's the principle, Mac."
"Principle?" He laughed harshly. "You don't have any principles, Dennis. You're the guy who starts a riot over being friendzoned. That's why you're clinging to me, because nobody else would put up with this kind of disrespect every day."
"We're friends, Mac." He lamely claimed.
"Are we, Dennis?" Mac huffed sadly. "You're so determined to be stubborn that you don't see how it hurts me, or worse, you just don't care."
"I obviously do care." He tried not to feel horrified by his own honest admission.
"Because it affects you." Mac acknowledged simply. "That's why you care, because you expect somebody to take care of you at all times."
"You don't take care of me." Dennis wanted to believe the words to be true, even if they weren't. "And even if you did, that's what friends do!" He insisted.
"Dennis." Mac chided impatiently. "Friends don't peel the skin off each other's food and roommates don't typically schedule monthly dinner dates and they definitely don't rub each other's pecs and glutes down post-workout."
Dennis searched for words but stayed silent due to a complete lack of any explanation. Perhaps other friends weren't like them, but that didn't change how he felt. Mac was closer to him than anybody, he was the only person he could, the only one he wanted to rely on. Mac was the one constant he needed, the only focal point that could always bring him back to center. It was far too much to process, but before he could even begin to try, Mac sighed.
"I'm beginning to think I'm not the only one using this friendship as a crutch."
"What?" Dennis' heart was clenched when he looked up with a puzzled expression.
"Maybe you're ready to get out there and finally look for something real." Mac ventured with the softest uncertainty.
"We're real!" He pushed. "Our friendship is real."
"That's not enough, Dennis." Mac's voice softened as he continued. "For either of us."
"Don't speak for me." He immaturely bit back.
"Am I wrong?" Mac challenged bluntly. "It's painfully obvious that you have some kind of void inside of you, but I can't be the one to fill it."
'So, why do you?' Dennis nearly staggered back when his instinctual question almost hijacked his senses. "We could stand to have this conversation without ridiculous innuendos." Dennis feigned confident humor.
"Are you always going to be like this?" Mac dejectedly asked. "Clearly, I make you uncomfortable. It bothers me Dennis, but I can't just flip a switch. I need some space if I want to gain any perspective."
"You're overthinking things, Mac."
"No, I'm not. I'm just acknowledging them." He inhaled deeply. "This attraction has developed into an awful tension and I'm sick of feeling guilty."
Dennis felt trapped in the honesty, but refused to yield, not when it came to keeping Mac. "That's not my fault."
He moved his head slightly to the side, an irked expression masking his features. "I never said that it was." Mac grunted in exhale. "Twisting my words to deflect won't fix this."
"That's not what I'm doi-"
"That's all you're ever doing, but it's not going to work this time. You can't just control me, Dennis. I'm not your puppet!"
"Well, I'm not your sex doll!" Dennis hadn't felt the words coming until they were out.
Mac's eyes went wide briefly before they filled with shame. "Wow," He shook his head. "I-" He couldn't hold Dennis' gaze for more than a second; finally, he cleared his throat. "That seems as good a stopping place as any." He pushed around Dennis to go into his room. "Goodnight."
"Mac, I-" Dennis' sentence was cut short by slamming of the door.
