AN: every now and then a story will sit in my brain for weeks on end, willing to be written, that's what happened with this one-shot.

Context:

Proposal never happened, Rory and Logan are now both living together in a cozy nyc apartment, nothing could be better. They're totally in love. But insecurities and worry's bubble up (not mentioned) and a separation occurs.

This is a one-shot, yet I feel like it needs to become a story, I have no idea what to do for it, so where ever your mind takes you to, I'd love to know, give me a comment with ideas! Or PM!!

Enjoy :)

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What where they, she didn't know.

Well they weren't seeing each other on purpose for the foreseeable future, what was that? a separation, break, hiatus? She didn't know. But all Rory did know is that this wasn't how they're relationship was meant to be, they weren't meant to be fighting, they weren't meant to be sleeping in seperate beds, in seperate places, especially while she still lay in their own bed.

Except she couldn't, she couldn't bear to lie in their large, cozy bed when his comforting hand wasn't rubbing her back, breath on her neck. When he wasn't sharing it with her. So she took his pillow instead, never leaving the sofa, but clutching onto the object like a life line. Like the only piece of him she had left.

She sat staring at the collage wall of photos, memories and happiness captured on everlasting print from the last 4 years. Tears streaming down her face, as thick snow fell from the sky in their cozy New York City apartment. Their home.

Snow was meant to bring happiness, she thought.

Logan sat staring out the terrace doors, watching the snow, thinking the exact same things as the girl he only knew as his love did a few blocks away. Except he wasn't in the comfort of their own home, he was at fins. The one person in his life who wouldn't question his need for a few days away from reality, or straight to his face for that matter. Everyone was thinking of the same things.

Rory wasn't sitting in the comfort of their own home though. It didn't feel like that to her, their bed was unwelcoming, the kitchen felt like something that wasn't hers and the memories. The memories were painful.

It had been two nights, two unbearable nights and days for both of them since he told her he would be sleeping at fins that night. Neither of them wanted this, let alone handle it. Even after just gone 48 hours it was clear as day. He needed her, and she needed him, they didn't want to live their lives without each other.

Rory was angry, she was angry of the circumstances, she was angry Logan was the one that walked out, she was angry that he hadn't come home the next day. She was angry he broke their promise to never go to bed mad. Not that either of them went to bed. Each of them had barely slept in two days.

Rory had made up her mind, she couldn't take it any more, them being apart with so much uncertainty between them. She would go over to fins apartment tomorrow and force him to listen to her. Usually he was a great listener, but Rory wasn't so sure in this particular situation.

As it was already reaching the early hours of the morning Rory did the only thing she knew to, in times of stress and crisis. She cleaned the kitchen. It was a trait she had picked up from Logan. That left a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

He thought her how to stay calm, he taught her his tricks. He taught her how to Chanel her demons elsewhere. He cared.

By morning the kitchen was spotless, shiny. The apartment smelt like klorax. She didn't even bother changing her clothes, ones she hadn't taken off in over 2 days. She didn't care about it though, all she cared about was Logan, and having Logan home.

The fresh air did her no good as she walked the familiar streets of Chelsea, there were too many memories of hand holding adventures among the streets. The tears didn't help anything either, although she didn't care, she had become numb to them.

She decided hastily against sending either Logan or Fin a warning message of her pending arrival, she figured fin would tell him, then anything could happen. This all came crashing down when she reached the door to the apartment. What if he walked out again. What if he blocked her out even more. What if's, they're were everywhere.

It was Fin who answered the door. Struck by her wrecked state. "Oh love" he whispered sympathetically, "I'll leave for a while, he's inside" fin stated in passing as he squeezed her shoulder, effectively switching positions, him outside, her inside. There was no turning back now.

She entered the apartment to find him perched by the terrace doors on an armchair, one knee resting on the seat, the other on the floor. He turned to face her when m the familiar footsteps entered the room.

They just stood, or sat. Staring at each other's different states. Logan looked defeated, his once full of life cheeks and enduring brown eyes were empty, yet full of undeniable emotion. Rory looked utterly lifeless, like a train wreck in the worst words. Her hair was falling apart, days old makeup smeared, and a swollen, tear stained face to top it off.

He felt pain in his chest rise at the sight of her distressed sight, he hated it, that he could feel that much sympathy for someone adding to their circumstances of pain. But he cared, and he never wouldn't care when it came to Rory.

"Hi" she managed to raspe out " hi" he copied in reply. They continued to stare at each other for a while, taking in each other's pain. He stayed silent After that, Rory knew by his expressions he wasn't going to be adding either.

Rory sat on the sofa, horizontal to the television, half towards Logan, half away. Clutching his pillow she had brought with her, without a second moments thought.

Her heart was breaking

She could physically feel it.

Logan could too.

"I just, I need you to listen to me" she stated, not daring herself to look at him, she couldn't bear to see him in pain no matter the circumstance. Logan showed no resistance.

"If this is the end of our re-" she couldn't finish, the thought was too much. "If we go our seperate ways I want you to know some things, and I want you to listen to them" he tone was surprisingly clear.

"I need you too know that even if we one day stop saying I love you to each other, that I still love you, I don't think I can ever be able to stop because of what you've given me.

"I need you to know how grateful and thankful of you I am, because with you I was handed the opportunity to love something so fully, so wholly and fiercely. I was given an opportunity to live without question, an opportunity not many people in this world are given, one that I won't ever get again."

" you are my life's love, and I know that even if our story ends here, or sometime in the future that I will never forget that. I will always be great full I got the opportunity to love you because it is and has been the greatest experience of my life. The greatest experience someone could ever experience. So thank you, for giving me that opportunity. To love you. Because I always will.

She choked. They were both in tears

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AN: OKAY! I hope you like it, I cried, it's so emotional. Please please let me know where you want this story to go, if you have any ideas they would be Appreciated so much!

I only wrote this story as a one shot, because that's how it's been sitting in my brain, but I feel like it could go somewhere, because I agree we need an update, I'm just not sure how to write one first! Give me ideas!!!!

(Whatever happens Rory and Logan would/ will end up together)