Chapter 18: Because I'm strong.

Jay/Hailey. Set after series 7. After Kim and Adam's wedding, Jay and Hailey finally confessed their feelings and spent the night together and now they are back in Chicago and hiding their relationship from their friends.

I do not own Chicago PD or any of the characters.

Please read and enjoy :)

The evening after Voight had made the announcement, the unit had gone to Molly's for drinks. Ironically, considering that the celebration was for him, Jay had been the first to leave, but this was not questioned, except by Adam. Hailey left later and joined Jay in her house. Jay had been there, waiting for her.

Within the next couple of days, Voight's presence became less and less, but when Jay was told by Platt to move into the office, it felt like a big moment and he was glad that it was only him, Voight, Hailey and Platt to witness the moment. Unlike Voight, who had many pictures on his desk, Jay had none. It was a habit. He was very private, but he had found an old photo of himself and Will as children, with their mum, so he decided to put that on his desk, as well as one of the unit, including Olinsky. In the photograph, Hailey and Jay were standing next to each other. As partners, as best friends. The beginning of what they were now and now, they were so much more, built from their foundation as partners. Platt said very little, but smiled. Jay knew that she would be there to support him and he appreciated it. Voight said nothing, but Jay could see the pride in his eyes. He was trusting Jay with the unit and Jay knew that, to the older man, that was the highest honour of trust and respect that could ever be received. The next day, the change was clear. Voight's office was now Jay's. Even if Voight was not officially retired or if Jay wasn't officially their Sergeant.

Jay was glad that he and Hailey had their time together, away from the bullpen, because he was feeling the change. He was very happy about his position, but Adam had made his concerns clear and Jay found that awkward. He wanted to avoid confrontation, but he could feel it from the other man, and he knew that, as soon as he passed the exam, Adam would, most likely, say something to him. Jay had Hailey by his side, in the field, the bullpen and in their personal lives.

After a 12-hour shift, Jay was asked by Kevin to play basketball, but Jay made the excuse of needing to study for the exam and he knew that Adam would not appreciate his presence, but he did appreciate Kevin being neutral. Jay had no problem, but, for some reason, Ruzek did. On the way back to Hailey's, Jay went back to his flat to have some new clothes in his overnight bag, before he went to Hailey's. It was good that they spent most of their free time at Hailey's, because Jay was always organised with clothes. Hailey very rarely was, not that Jay minded her wearing his clothes. It had just happened that way and it was good, for both of them.

By the time Jay arrived, Hailey had ordered pizza for the two of them and she smiled as Jay walked through the door, her hair up in a high ponytail. Walking over to her, Jay grinned and kissed her as he asked, "We've got pizza coming, right?"

Hailey nodded and laughed in return. "It's on its way. Don't worry, we won't be going hungry." She found Jay's lips and kissed them, before they looked at each other and smiled. After a short silence, she asked, "Do you think Ruzek will tell you what his problem is?"

"To be honest, at the moment, I'm not thinking about that. I'm more concerned with passing the exam."

Raising her eyebrows, Hailey remarked, "Jay, you're going to be fine. It's in your nature. Don't worry so much." She paused, then suggested, "How about, after we've had pizza, we go over some stuff together, for your exam?"

Jay titled his head against hers and wrapped his arms around her waist as he nodded. "That sounds perfect. I knew partners were useful for something."

The exam was next week, so Hailey understood that Jay wanted to be as dedicated to his studying as possible, so after they shared a pizza, they sat at Hailey's kitchen table and Jay revised, with Hailey helping him. She knew that Adam's demeanour since Voight had announced his retirement was making Jay uncomfortable and annoyed and she wished that her ex-boyfriend would cease with his clear attitude.

Their focus was interrupted by a knock on Hailey's front-door, so Hailey went to answer it, leaving Jay in the kitchen. It was her mum and Hailey felt as if her heart had stopped. She loved her mum, she always had and always would, but she was the same woman who had stayed with Hailey's father. She was still her mum and she loved her and she understood that her mum had been trapped, especially with three young children. Finding her voice, Hailey looked into the blue eyes that were identical to her own and asked, "Mum, what are you doing here?"

Hailey's mother smiled and replied, "Your father and I wanted to invite your over to ours for dinner. Your brothers and their wives are coming. The kids. So, I wanted to invite you, too. I feel as if we haven't seen you for ages, sweetie."

"Why don't you just have dinner with me, by yourself? I'm free tomorrow night. We could invite the boys and their families over." Hailey paused and added, "Just us, Mum. Not him."

Before Hailey's mother had a chance to reply, there was a noise from the kitchen and Jay walked over to the door, putting his arm around Hailey. He smiled and introduced himself. "I'm Jay, Hailey's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Upton." It was the first time since Hailey's high school graduation that one of them had said those words aloud to someone other than Hailey and it made both him and Hailey smile. He had heard the conversation from the start and he was there to support Hailey, no matter what. She could handle herself, but he wanted her to know that he was there.

Hailey's mother acknowledged Jay with a warm smile, before turning back to her daughter. "Sweetheart, I'd love to have dinner with you, but with all of us. As a family. Jay's very welcome to come, too. You know I make enough food for everyone."

Sadly, Hailey shook her head as she replied, in a low voice, "Mum, I'm not coming round for dinner if Dad's there. I'm sorry, I love you, Mum, but I don't want to be around him."

"He's changed, Hailey. He really has."

Hailey's eyes became darker. "That may be true, but he's still the same man I remember who beat you and me and the boys and I'm not going to put myself in a room, anywhere near him." She paused, then added with a small smile, "But, Mum, you're very welcome to join us for dinner night. I want to see you, Mum." Jay could feel the tension in Hailey's whole body and he knew the conflict that was inside of her. She wanted to see her mum, but not her father. Jay stepped away from Hailey slightly, giving her space with her mum.

There was a dead silence and Hailey could see the sadness in her mum's blue eyes. She inhaled a deep breath, then said, in a shaky voice, "Then there's nothing more for us to say, because you need to be there to see he's changed and you don't want to be around him. But I can't have dinner with all of you and not him, Hailey. You know that and please don't ask me to choose between you and him."

Blue eyes met blue eyes as Hailey whispered, "Mum, you already made that choice." She bit her lip and reached out for her mum's hands as she looked into her eyes. In barley a whisper, she said, "I love you."

With a teary smile, Hailey's mum squeezed her daughter's hands and replied, "I love you, too, Hailey, and I hope that, one day, we can all be together." She paused, then smiled at Jay. "It was nice to meet you, Jay." The door closed and there was a dead silence.

Watching Hailey, Jay gave her space; she knew that he was there, but he was also giving her space, so that she could work through her emotions. Grabbing a pair of trainers, Hailey put on a coat and said, "I'm going out for a run. I'll be back in a bit." She walked over to Jay and rested her head against his for a second, before she turned away and left her house.

Half an hour later, Hailey returned. Jay was there, waiting for her. Of course he was. Her partner, best friend, her partner. The first person in her life she knew would always be there, no matter what. Hailey sat down next to him and rested her head against his chest, exhaling loudly. "Do you remember that case with that guy Devin, who was abused by his dad? He asked me if I'd ever thought about- you know- and I said, sometimes, but I never have, because I'm strong. I am strong. I won't ever go near him, but I want my mum in my life and I can't have that balance. I can't have her without him and that kills me."

Jay sighed and kissed the top of Hailey's head. "I can't imagine how hard it is for you, Hailes." He paused, then added, "I'm always here for you."

Hailey closed her eyes as she snuggled into Jay's chest, wrapping her arms around him. "I know. You're the first person in my life who's really there for me. I know you'll have my back, no matter what. I know I'm safe when I'm with you." She raised her head and her lips caught Jay's in a kiss and she pulled him close, before she broke the kiss, titling her head with a smile on her face. "As much as I'd love to continue, we should revise. You need to be as confident as possible."

Smirking, Jay ran his hands through her ponytail before he nodded and said, "Lead the way, Detective Upton."